Sooo, first surprising thing, after five years of wandering through Georgia, they’re suddenly in Virginia now. Oh well. That’s a change of pace anyway.
Most of the episode centered around Tyrese hallucinating after being bitten. And then that nasty scene where Michonne hacks off the infected limb with her samurai sword. This was basically Tyrese’s character building episode. And it almost looked like he was going to make it.
The gang decides to head for Washington, DC.
And what was up with all those zombie torsos in that truck?
Well, who else in Rick’s crew do you want to see on the bookshelf? Michonne? Glenn? Maggie? The Governor? Eugene? Abraham? Abraham beating up Eugene?
I’ve been looking forward to this one for a long time, mainly because I feel like they’ve been promoting in forever. Given that it is up against Seventh Son, a fantasy film, nerds have plenty to watch this weekend, though these films may be cannibalizing one another’s profits since their core audiences are going to be the same contingent of geeks and dweebs.
That’s not an insult geeks and dweebs. I am one of you.
And sadly, since they’re both movies that cater to a younger crowd, I think they’re both going to be trounced by…dun dun dun… Spongebob: Sponge Out of Water.
But enough about business talk.
The plot? It turns out that worlds aren’t so much natural occurrences as they are business assets of a corporation owned The Abrasax family. The three heirs, played by Eddie Redmayne , Tuppence Middleton, and Douglas Booth, as heirs to a fortune often do, squabble over their inheritances, always trying to gain more planets for themselves.
But they don’t want to rule them. They want to harvest them. We’re all basically cattle and once a planet’s population exceeds its resources, the Abrasaxes have all of the people killed and somehow they are turned into a juice that can be bathed in to reverse the aging process.
Umm…good luck with that. All I can say is if you bathe in a juice made out of me, you’re going to be pretty disgusted.
Somehow, and they don’t really explain how, but Jupiter Jones, played by Mila Kunis, is a reincarnated version of the Abrasax kids’s mother. That’s a problem for them, seeing as how their mother, before being murdered by Redmayne’s character, Balem, wrote it into her will that her reincarnated self would inherit Earth.
Sidenote – this movie realized that I’ve done very little to ensure that my assets will be transferred to my reincarnated self, and thus as soon as I’m done writing this review, I’m going to get my attorney on the horn posthaste.
Keep in mind that at the start of the film, Jupiter has no idea that she’s a reincarnated space queen. She was born a Russian immigrant and cleans rich people’s toilets for a living.
Middleton’s character, Kalique, is happy to have a version of her mother back. Booth’s Titus contrives a scheme to marry Jupiter, claiming that doing so will protect Earth and keep it out of Balem’s grubby mitts. However, Titus has his own evil plans.
Here’s a rundown of a conversation I had with the Wachowskis in my mind as I watched the film:
ME: So this guy is trying to marry a reincarnated version of his mother?
WACHOWSKIS: Yes.
ME: That isn’t incest?
WACHOWSKIS: No. She’s not actually his mother. She’s his reincarnated mother.
ME: But she’s his mother brought back to life so…
WACHOWSKIS: SHUT UP AND WATCH THE PRETTY SPECIAL EFFECTS!!!!
Anyway, Channing Tatum plays Jupiter’s protector, Caine Wise, a human-wolf hybrid, and at this point, the man’s abs must be a multi-million dollar business.
HOLLYWOOD: Channing, we want you in our next picture.
CHANNING: I’m gonna have to charge you a million per ab.
And much to my surprise, Sean Bean was in the movie and he didn’t die. He dies in every movie he’s in, so it was kind of a disappointment that his character didn’t bite the dust, buy the farm, or kick the bucket.
All in all, for a February film, it was pretty decent. I’ve seen ads for this forever, and when a movie is hyped for this long, you kind of go into it expecting your socks to be knocked off, and usually they never are. But sci-fi nerds and space geeks will be pleased. The Wachowskis of Matrix fame are masters of the genre and they don’t disappoint with their special effects skills. People fly, there’s space craft warfare, and so on.
Plus, the scene lampooning the bureaucratic process that Jupiter has to go through to be named Queen was amusing.
One minor complaint – there were a lot of characters, aliens, technologies, organizations – in short, just a lot going on. It leaves you with questions that unfortunately a movie just doesn’t have time to answer.
The special effects alone are worth seeing on the big screen though, and let’s face it, you’ve got nothing else better to do this weekend, so go see it.
I wish it was a continuation (i.e. a sequel) rather than a reboot.
It could start with Ray (Dan Akyroyd) and Winston (Ernie Hudson) selling the old firehouse to a new group of female Ghostbusters. After the cash is handed over and the papers are signed, Ray and Winston retire to Florida where they, oh I don’t know, become fishing boat captains. Or buddy cops.
Perhaps this is overly-nerdy of me, but I feel like a reboot wipes out the past universe of a movie franchise, whereas a sequel continues it.
Unless you’re into varying timelines. Or aren’t a nerd who spends too much time thinking about these things.
What say you, readers? What are your thoughts on the Ghostbusters reboot?
I’ve been talking a lot about movies lately. You might as well start calling this blog “Movieshelf Battle.” But what can I say? I do love books. But I also have movies. And whether it is in a book or on the screen, a story is a story.
Here’s the list of this year’s 2015 Oscar Nominees:
Birdman (or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) – Haven’t seen it. As a former Batman, Michael Keaton plays a role he knows something about – that of an actor known for playing a superhero, and what happens to him in the film I’m not sure. But I do love superheroes and was a fan of Keaton’s 1989 Batman, so I’ll have to check it out.
Boyhood – I’ve rented it but have yet to watch it. People who have tell me that the story itself is pretty blah, but the idea of filming a child actor at different stages of his life (as opposed to having different kids play the character at different ages, which is what Hollywood usually does) is very unique and creative.
The Grand Budapest Hotel – Eh. I’ve never been a huge Wes Anderson fan. I love comedies. Sometimes I think he might try too hard. Other times I watch something like Hangover 3 and think that maybe Hollywood NEEDS to try harder when it comes to comedy. It is nice to see a comedy in the best picture list though. That rarely happens. The late 1990’s As Good As It Gets with Jack Nicholson was the last Oscar recognized comedy that I can remember.
The Imitation Game – I have seen it! I owe you a review! In fact, I’m a little disappointed in myself for reviewing The Boy Next Door before The Imitation Game.
Selma – Haven’t seen it. Been meaning to. Looks good. Lots of history. Good for the historical record for this important time in U.S. history to be recorded on film.
The Theory of Everything – I’m glad Stephen Hawking got his own biopic. He does more with a wheelchair and a keyboard than most able bodied people do all day. Yet to see it.
Whiplash – Never seen it. Has to something to do with a drummer who wants to learn to drum and receives help from a guy who is like some kind of drumming drill sergeant. I’ll try to see it.
Anyway, those are the nominees. My main complaint? I wish they’d space these out over the year, rather than come out all at the same time. But I suppose that’s the strategy – open them in a few theaters in December so they count as 2014 movie, then release them everywhere in January so people are talking about these movies come Oscar time.
I’m going to try my best to see and review them all before the Oscars. Doubt I’ll make it, but let’s see what happens. If you have reviews or comments about these movies, feel free to comment away.
January is garbage movie month. It’s not the summertime where people are on vacation and have time to go to a movie. It isn’t Christmas time when families feel the need to get together and watch a movie in the spirit of togetherness, camaraderie, and all that nonsense.
Alas, January is the time when half the country is freezing their butts off and everyone is plugging away on New Year’s resolutions which will be tossed aside by March.
So naturally, I went into The Boy Next Door assuming I was walking into a pile of red hot smelly garbage. To give it a backhanded compliment, it was only hot and smelly garbage, with the “red” adjective being unnecessary. In other words, it was bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be, and not the worst movie I’ve seen…so I guess as January movies go, good job J Lo?
So, let’s get to the disturbing premise. J Lo is estranged from her husband, Garrett, played by John Corbett. As they quickly show you in a massive detail dump of a beginning scene at the start of the movie, he cheated on J Lo with his secretary, thus introducing J Lo to a new low in her career, that of playing a woman who could possibly be cheated on. (Listen, I still don’t buy it, if you have J Lo and you cheat on her, you’re just a greedy bastard, even if we are talking about middle-aged J Lo).
Twenty-year old Noah, played by Ryan Guzman, moves in next door, on the premise that he’s there to help an ailing Uncle, but as we learn later, Noah killed his parents, because, I don’t know, he’s nuts I guess. J Lo’s character, Claire (yes J Lo is old enough to play someone named Claire) helps the young lad cook a meal and in a moment of weakness, she succumbs to his advances.
The whole idea is creepy and weird, and the writers make sure to stress that Noah is 20 years old, I assume in an attempt to make it less creepy and weird. And while I’m not sure how old J Lo is, she has to be in her forties and the idea of her playing a character who gets with someone who probably wasn’t even born yet when she was a fly girl on In Living Color just seems like an odd choice for her acting to career to go in.
After all, I miss the J Lo who was a maid that won Matthew McConaughey’s heart in Maid in Manhattan or the J Lo who trained to kick her killer stalker husband’s ass in Enough. Meanwhile, this movie was basically Enough meets The Graduate.
So, needless to say, Claire tries to break things off with Noah, but as previously mentioned, he’s nuts, and he’s not having any of it. He stalks Claire, threatens her, harasses her. The stakes are high because Claire is a teacher and Noah is attending Claire’s high school. And while the writers, again, make it clear that Noah is 20, the situation would still cost Claire her job, standing in the community, any attempts to reconcile with her cheating husband who is trying to make amends for what he did, and so on.
Sigh. I like J Lo. And this isn’t the worst movie she’s made. That award goes to Gigli. Still, even if he is 20, the whole idea of her playing a teacher who has an affair with a student…its just disturbing and might be an indictment of Hollywood’s treatment of older actors.
After all, J Lo’s kept herself up well and doesn’t look much different from her Maid in Manhattan days, at least in my opinion, anyway. And while her acting skills will probably never earn her an academy award (she’s always been a better singer and dancer), surely Hollywood could find some better roles for her to play.
But alas, no. No matter how beautiful you are, or how long your career has been, if you’re over 40, Hollywood demands you play a stalked mother with marital problems.
As you know, the Bookshelf Battler is a lover of classic literature, and there was brief mention of the fact that Claire was a classic literature teacher. There are some very brief classic lit discussions (not too many, we wouldn’t want to provide any thought provoking discussions to a January movie).
On a bad blind date with a man who belittles Classic Literature, arguing that it is not a good subject to study for one who wants employment, Claire points out JK Rowling as an example of a Classic Lit Major who made it big. And true to form, I sat there with my popcorn, yelling in my mind, “And what about all the other Classic Lit Majors who end up in the slush pile, J Lo?!”
Sigh. I’m such a cliche. Don’t mind me. Keep majoring in Classic Lit people.
Oh, and then there’s a scene where Noah gives Claire “a first edition copy of Homer’s The Iliad.” I don’t have the heart to point out that a first-edition copy of The Iliad probably would have been printed on papyrus or a stone tablet.
So, in conclusion, it’s a movie that a) made me feel bad for J Lo b) was bad and c) wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and d) pretty much what you can expect from a January movie.
Come on, March! We need your better movies to distract us from our broken resolutions!
WARNING: I don’t know who you are. Actually, I do. You’re one of the three people who read my blog. If you are looking for ransom, I don’t have any money. But what I do have are a very particular set of SPOILERS, spoilers I have acquired over a two hour period spent watching a movie you haven’t seen yet. Spoilers that can ruin your movie going experience. If you click this post off now, that will be the end of it. But if you don’t, I will spoil this movie for you.
Actually, is it even possible for this movie franchise to have a spoiler? By now, you know off the bat someone is getting taken.
I enjoyed the original Taken movie. I thought it was very original. I was surprised that Neeson, a traditional dramatic actor, was able to morph into an action star. The concept was original – the bad guys picked the wrong guy to mess with.
Seriously – have you ever just been walking around, minding your own business, someone insults you, you let it it go and walk right by, because you’re a normal law-abiding citizen, but secretly you hope that said rude person will be rude to the wrong person and said person will kick their ass?
What? No? That’s just me? OK, well I guess that’s why I thoroughly enjoyed the original Taken then. It was enjoyable to watch the fallout that occurred when the bad guys inadvertently incurred the wrath of Neeson’s character, a highly trained badass ex-CIA agent.
Taken 2? Well, they flipped it around a little bit. Neeson and his ex-wife get taken, and then their daughter has to help them escape.
Hollywood could have stopped there but recently we’ve received Taken 3 – The Search for More Cash.
Caveat – as action films go, it was pretty decent, and frankly, above average for what is usually released in January. January tends to be the month where Hollywood releases the films that are real stinkers. I can’t say this movie stinks, it just does in comparison to the original.
Because seriously – how many times can someone in this guy’s life be taken???
One note – Neeson’s character’s current husband is changed over to a) be played by a different character and b) be the bad guy. I’m not a fan of it when Hollywood does rewrites like that in the hopes that no one will notice.
Here’s what the pitch meeting was like:
PRODUCER 1: We’re going to rewrite the character of Stuart the current husband to be the bad guy.
PRODUCER 2: That’s fine. That’s something that only a lame, obscure book blogger with 3 followers would notice.
All in all – not the best of the series, but better than usual for what you get in the first month of the year.
Halloween weekend has to be a bad time to open a movie. After all, the movie watching masses are all out partying. That’s too bad for Nightcrawler starring Jake Gyllenhaal as it deserves a wider audience. In a world of remakes and reboots, it brings something to the screen as rare as a unicorn – an original idea.
Gyllenhaal stars as Lou – an odd eccentric fellow just trying to scrape a living together. At the start of the film, he is uneducated and unemployed, but what he lacks in credentials he makes up with an uncanny ability to talk fast and spew out buzz words that employers love to hear during interviews. Example – “I’m a motivated self-starter.” In other words, he says alot of things that mean nothing but sound great.
Driving home after selling stolen construction supplies, he passes by a car accident in which police officers are heroically pulling out a female driver from a car engulfed in flames. In awe, Lou watches as cameramen arrive on scene to film the chaos. They’re independents who roam around Los Angeles filming carnage and sell their footage to the highest bidding news station.
Lou is hooked and sees this as his big opportunity to make something of himself. He visits a pawn shop, trades his bicycle for a camcorder and a police scanner, and a small business is born. He even takes on an intern. Initially, Lou tries to talk his intern into working for free but eventually caves during negotiations and agrees to pay him thirty dollars a night. As a noteable sign of the times, Lou is full of witty social commentary about the lousy economy – how employment is no longer guaranteed for the masses, how people need to be willing to work for free or next to nothing to get their foot in the door, and so on.
“The Nightcrawler’s” business grows and soon enough, he’s purchased a fabulous Dodge Challenger and honestly, at this point, this tricked-out sports car with its revved up Hemi becomes the star of the show. The name of the game is to listen to the police scanner and to drive as fast as possible to accidents and crime scenes to be the first to film and sell. Lou’s not the only independent cameraman in the business and he quickly developes a rivalry with Bill Paxton.
I don’t want to give away anymore spoilers – you can watch the film at eleven, so to speak. Overall, the film is dark and edgy as Lou isn’t a typical hero but rather a fast talking sociopath who does whatever it takes to succeed in the nightly news business – and often goes too far. Great acting and cast, including Rene Russo as the nightly news director who buys Lou’s footage, a ton of action and a pretty amazing car chase scene.
I reccomend it. Unfortunately, when a movie is little off the beaten path, it gets relegated to an opening on a weekend where everyone is out partying and wearing goofy costumes, but hopefully it will develop a following and gain more exposure.
When I first heard that FOX was going to put out a Sleepy Hollow TV show, I naturally assumed this would be yet another example of Hollywood hacks scraping the bottom of the barrel to bring us yet another overdone idea rather than go to drawing board and come up with something fresh and original.
I was wrong. They came up with a fantastic spin on an old legend and I must admit it is one of those shows I now look forward to watching every week. I particularly enjoy Ichabod’s observations of the modern world around him.
But before it was on FOX, or a Tim Burton movie (which was also excellent), it was a tale written by Washington Irving.
And like the Horseman’s knogan, Mr. Irving’s copyright protections are equally non-existent.
Thanks again Project Gutenberg for preserving classic stories like this one for the ages.
“I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for a man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts, is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette, is indeed a hero.” – Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Bookshelf Battle 