Today’s guest is Armand Rosamilia. A New Jersey native transplanted to sunny Florida, he’s an active member of the Horror Writer’s Association, a baseball and metal music fan, and an expert on everything zombie.
Armand is the author of over one-hundred and fifty stories, running the gamut from horror and zombies, to contemporary fiction, thrillers and more. Not one to be hung up on genre labels, Armand’s goal is to write a good story, no matter where the subject matter takes him.
When he isn’t busy writing, Armand runs two very successful podcasts on Project iRadio:
Arm N Toof’s Dead Time Podcast – with co-host Mark Tufo, the duo interview authors and filmmakers and anyone else they feel like talking to.
Zombie fans will want to check out his series, Dying Days, which chronicles zombie killer Darlene Bobich’s ongoing efforts to save the day from the undead.
Welcome Armand.
NOTE: BOLD=BQB;ITALICS=Armand
Q. I’m having a hard time getting started as an author. I have several ideas but am never able to focus myself on just one. I’ll work on one idea for awhile, get distracted, then before I know it, I’m onto something else and nothing ever gets done. What advice do you have for someone in my situation?
A. Just keep writing. I have 5-7 projects going at all times so it never gets stale. I might work on one more than the others (especially if it is already paid for and I have a solid deadline) but the goal is just to keep writing and get your daily words in so it keeps growing.
Q. Why are people so fascinated with zombies? Is it the creatures themselves? Is it the fantasy of living in a post-apocalyptic world with no rules? Is it something else?
A. Zombies are just cool to me. I know you can do the entire ‘mirror to consumer society mentality’ crap if you want, but they are just interesting to write and read about for me. And we all want to shoot the neighbor in the head but can’t until they turn, right?
Q. Do you think zombies are going to stick around in the entertainment world for awhile? Is there another type of monster that could unseat them?
A. Everyone keeps talking about how five minutes ago zombies are, but I don’t see them ever truly going away. There will always be a small rabid fan base into zombies. I’m one of them. I’ll keep writing zombie stories until I have nothing more to say about them.
Q. What inspired your interest in zombies and moreover, what motivated you to write about them?
A. The Rising by Brian Keene. I was always a fan of some zombie movies but his book showed me you can do something unique with the genre. It led me to write a couple of flash fiction pieces and Highway To Hell, an extreme zombie novella. That led right into Dying Days.
BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Brian Keene was kind enough to grant me a Twitter interview. Check it out!
Q. Regarding your protagonist, Darlene Bobich, one Amazon reviewer wrote, “she is a well-developed character who grabs a hold of you with her guts, fears, pain, uncertainty, and determination to keep going.” There has been a lot of discussion for the need for more female roles in fiction lately. How did you come up with the idea for Darlene and how were you able to portray her in a way that intrigued readers?
A. It started out as a flash fiction piece I wrote for an anthology. I wanted to see if I could write a zombie story. The idea was simple: a woman is faced with having to shoot her turned father with the gun he bought her. I loved the character (who is named after a real person, a friend I’ve never actually met on Facebook) and wanted to portray her realistically in future stories. She’s a regular woman. A little overweight, average looks, boring mall job, and no military training. She cries, she has panic attacks and she is just someone you can relate to.
Q. You’re also the author of Keyport Cthulhu. Kudos to you, sir, for I’ve always felt Cthulhu has been underrepresented in fiction. So here’s my question. Zombies vs. Cthulhu – who would you put your money on?
A. I will not give the odds on it, because if either side wins we all lose. Isn’t that how it works? But it would be a helluva fight to get some popcorn and sit down and watch as the world ended.
Armand and Fun-Sized Cthulhu
Q. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me today. Before I go, do you have any last minute advice that might help me survive the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?
A. Keep your eyes open and don’t get caught in a dead-end or surrounded by these monsters. Good luck.
Today’s guest is Ann Christy, author of the Between Life and Death series. Follow teenager Emily as she makes her way through a world comprised of three groups: humans, deaders, and the flesh-eating in-betweeners.
Ann, welcome. It truly takes a brave individual to take a call from Alien Jones’ space phone.
NOTE: BOLD = BQB; ITALICS = ANN
Q. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, does it? Take my pal, Bernie Plotznick, for instance. All he ever wanted to do was become a successful rap mogul but instead, he’s freaking out because life set him smack dab in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. That made me think of Between Life and Death protagonist Emily.
As the description of The In-Betweener states, “At eighteen, Emily thought life would be different. Dating, college, and maybe giving her mom a few reasons to worry were the plans she had in mind. Now, she talks to herself and smashes heads with her favorite sledgehammer.”
Do you have any advice for my 3.5 readers who thought life was going to be X only to be mortified upon discovery that it is actually Y?
A. What’s that saying? Making lemonade or something when life gives you lemons? Well, that’s rot. What you do is pour vodka in your glass, squeeze one of those lemons like it’s a wallet filled with cash, and then chug it. After that…and a couple more, because lemons are plural…sit down and re-prioritize. Nothing is set in stone and any path can be strayed from. Find the path you want…and more vodka.
Q. In this series, you’ve got several groups. Nanites. Deaders. In-betweeners. I also have a hunch not every human can be trusted. That’s usually the case even when there’s not a zombie apocalypse afoot. Is there a group that is particularly nastier than the rest or are they all equally awful?
A. Everyone is awful in their own way, just as in real life. Everyone is also awesome in their own way, again as in real life. Okay, not everyone is awesome because I’ve concluded that there are actually people in real life who are 100% asshats. My books reflect that reality on occasion. To actually answer your question, though: In-Betweeners are alive, but were dead for a brief period, only to be revived by their nanite constellation. Since they lack much of their humanity, they function really as animals, with instincts and drives making up the motivations for action. That, to me, makes them the most scary because it’s so easy to see ourselves in that. Of course, humans always suck. So, there’s that.
Q. You’re a recently retired Navy officer, which no doubt comes with a great deal of training and experience. Does any of that come in handy when you’re writing and how so?
A. Yep. That it does. Like pretty much every Naval Officer, I did many jobs, some of them all at the same time. For the last 16 years of my service, I was supposed to be a scientist, but I was also a deployer, battle planner…you name it. “Science” is a rather broad term, but like everything else, I worked in more than one field, often melding multiple fields together for specific needs. That sort of versatility really does help when writing complex worlds. And, incidentally, slightly more plausible reasons for the Z-Apoc to happen, which is super fun.
Q. What made you take the leap into the writing world?
A. Hugh Howey. I had no clue a writer was lurking inside me like a whiney wanker demanding to be let out. Alas, there was. It’s like having a perpetually hungry and tired three year old rattling around in my head. Most unsettling and I’ve developed a craving for nuggetized chicken on top of it.
Oh, you wanted a serious answer? Okay. It really was Hugh Howey. I read Wool when it was still new and only had the one volume out…and by that I mean the first little novella, not the book. After part two came out, I started thinking that I’d like to see someone with some freaking morals and sense of right in power once in a while. That started the whole thing percolating in my head. I asked Hugh if I could write it, he said yes. I had zero clue that thousands of people would buy it within a couple of months of me putting that unedited piece of brain-scream out. But they did. And they liked it.
And then I learned you can actually hire editors, so things really picked up steam after that. It’s the greatest job I never knew I could do.
Q. Your Silo 49 series takes place in the world of Hugh Howey’s Wool. As an aspiring self-publisher, I bow down to Hugh the way rock and roll fans worship Black Sabbath. Is it humbling to think that you’ve displayed such a high level of writing talent that Hugh’s trusted you to work within his world?
A. Well, to be truthful, I don’t think he actually trusted me with it. I think he’s just generous and let almost anyone play in his world. That said, I did adhere to canon well and I’ve got a great memory for detail, so I hope I didn’t muck about with established dogma too much. And I prefer to worship the Scorpions because Rock You Like A Hurricane is the best rock song ever, closely followed by the entire Back in Black album by AC/DC. Just saying…
BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Here I am! Rock you like a hurricane! Here I am! Rock you like a Hurri…CANE! OK, that’s enough of that, I don’t want to have to pay the Scorpions royalties.
Q. At least 2 out of my 3.5 readers are aspiring writers. What advice do you have for someone just getting started?
A. It’s not good yet. Really, it’s just not.
And right now you might be saying, “WTF!? I’m going to one star the shit out of you.” But wait, there’s more.
What I’m really saying is that the moment we start writing, we become writers (no matter any other profession we might keep so bills get paid) and as writers producing a work that might be considered art (or a butchery of art depending on the audience), we’re too close to our work to be objective. One of the biggest flaws in writing is that it’s hard to see the flaws in our own work. Very hard. Impossible at times.
If you’re thinking of becoming a writer, then also search for an editor at the same time. Call it the cost of doing business. And no, a friend who happens to have majored in English is not an editor. They’re your friend. Editing is super important. Other than that, just let your mind take over and create what you want. I don’t believe (not even a little bit) that writers are some special breed, that we’re born to it, or anything of that sort. Everyone has a story inside them, probably hundreds of stories. Get that bad boy out and into the world!
If you really can’t afford an editor at the moment, then you can use my Four Views method, which does work for short stories and such pretty well. If you can’t have a professional edit for flow, then at least get rid of the errors and the Four Views method helps with that. Here they are:
ANN’s FOUR VIEWS METHOD
One – On the screen, read-through from your word-processing program, which is what we all do anyway while we’re writing.
Two – Text-to-Speech from Word or whatever your word processing program is.
Three – Send the file to your kindle and read it like a book. You’d be amazed how many errors you find that way.
Four – Print it out and read it aloud to yourself in a room. Not from the screen, read from paper. You’ll see errors because your brain processes reading aloud from paper differently than reading silently.
Q. Thank you so much for your time. Before I go, do you have any other survival tips for my friends and I as we continue to brave our way through the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?
A. Yes. Yes I do.
First: Twinkies are mandatory and not just because the most awesome comedic zombie movie ever says so. They don’t rot. I’ve experimented.
BQB EDITORIAL NOTE: Bonus points to my 3.5 readers if you can guess the movie in the comments.
Second: At it’s most basic, momentum is force over time (really, it’s way more complicated but this is a short answer). And this is important. What it means is that the longer your swing with that hammer (or axe, or baseball bat), the more head-smashing potential you have. Take big swings.
Third: I would stock up on garlic and silver bullets, because if the z-poc ever really happens, then all kinds of supernatural bullshit is about to come out of the woodwork and that means freaking sparkly vampires and weregophers and other craptastic stuff.
Bernie’s starting to become the weak link in our survival group’s chain.
Bernie sat on the cold tile, trying to conceive of the atrocity he’d just committed.
“It’s ok man,” I said as I rested a hand on his shoulder. “It’s the zombie apocalypse. We’re all bound to do something stupid sooner or later.”
“But look at them all, man!” Bernie said. “I…I can’t believe I did this.”
“I can’t believe he did that either,” VGRF said, surveying the mess.
“Is there a point to making him feel bad about it now?” I asked. “What’s done is done.”
Alien Jones strolled in, nonchalant as usual.
“Gadzooks! Is anyone going to clean up all these candy bar wrappers?”
“Twenty Crunchtasticks,” Bernie said as he laid back on the floor and grabbed his stomach. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I ate them all.”
“We’re all under a lot of stress,” I said. “You just have to find a way to deal with it by doing something more productive than snarfing down a bunch of candy bars.”
“This isn’t how I wanted my life to be,” Bernie said. “I wanted the Funky Hunks to go double-platinum! I wanted to hang out with Fiddy and Snoop and drive a Bentley and throw hot tub parties with supermodels.”
He leaned up and grabbed my shirt collar.
“So many supermodels! Where are my supermodels, BQB? Where?!”
“Some things just weren’t meant to be,” I said. “Some people get a hot tub full of supermodels. Some people don’t. We live and die by the cards life has dealt us and there’s no use whining about it.”
“But we were on TV!”
It was time for a confrontation that was years in the making.
“For five minutes,” I said. “Fifteen years ago. At four a.m. on World’s Lamest Musicians. When are you going to get over it, Bernie? The Funky Hunks are dead! Deader than those zombies outside the gate that want to kill us! Stop selling oranges and get a job!”
“What?” Bernie asked. “You’re going to make fun of my oranges now? I will have you know that I provide the world with much needed vitamin C. Whenever you don’t have a cold, you can thank me.”
Fun fact: Stank Daddy, the top rapper on today’s charts, coined the phrase “Dropping a Funky Hunk” to refer to the production of a lousy rap song. All rappers live in fear of “dropping a Funky Hunk.” The phrase is interchangeable with, “Dropping a Funky Dump.”
“You bum five bucks off of people who feel sorry for you and give them an orange so you can trick that rattle trap you call a brain of yours into thinking you actually DID something,” I said. “Yes, Bernie. We tried something with the Funky Hunks and we failed. Our rap duo was a miserable failure. On the great list of ‘Worst Rappers in History,’ we actually rank BELOW Milli Vanilli even though those guys were caught lip syncing. And you know why? BECAUSE WE SUCKED!”
“I don’t suck! You suck!”
“We totally sucked,” I said. “But you know what? At least we tried. We tried and we failed and that’s more
“You bum five bucks off of people who feel sorry for you and give them an orange so you can trick that than most people ever do. Be honest with yourself. You refuse to try do anything else now because you’re afraid any new path you take will end up in a massive failure of Funky Hunkian proportions, don’t you?”
Bernie stood up and marched toward the gate, which was teaming with hungry undead beasts.
“I don’t have to take this!”
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m leaving.”
“You can’t go out there!”
“Watch me. I’d rather be out there with those things than with a poor excuse for a friend like you!”
Bernie’s hand was inches away from slapping the red button that would open the gate.
“Stop!” I said. “You’re going to let them in!”
Various zombies of all races, colors and creeds were rattling the gate, looking at us like we were delicious chicken nuggets.
Alien Jones pointed a finger at Bernie and instantly, my buddy was frozen.
“Holy Crap!” I said. “Did you kill him?”
“He is frozen indefinitely,” Alien Jones said.
“Can you do that to them?” I asked, pointing at the zombies.
“It only works on living organisms.”
“Bernie’s really down in the dumps, huh?” VGRF asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “But since when is there a guarantee that we are all supposed to get the life we want?”
Want to know what day your favorite zombie author is stopping by the Bookshelf Battle Blog?
See the info below. 3.5 readers, these writers were kind enough to help me out, so please help them out as much as you can.
Check out their books. If you enjoy them, leave a review. Reviews on Amazon send authors higher up the charts, so you can help them out. Tell your friends about them through your favorite time wasting social media site.
DETAILED SCHEDULES
If you want a short synopsis of who the authors are and what they’re going to talk about:
Throughout the past month, as I did my research and spoke to zombie enthusiasts, one name came up over and over again:
Brian Keene.
In 2003, Keene published The Rising.One of the best-selling zombie novels of all time, it follows Jim Thurmond, a father who must fight his way through a zombie apocalypse to find his young son. Martin, a preacher who’s trying to hold onto his faith and Frankie, a struggling heroin addict, round out the band of survivors.
This book is credited with bringing about a zombie renaissance. Sure, George Romero brought zombies to pop culture in 1968 with Night of the Living Dead, but when 2000 came around, zombies were deader than themselves.
Thus, Keene (along with Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead comic and Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later film) is credited with bringing the zombie genre back to life and starting an undead craze that so far, shows no signs of letting up.
In search of an interview, I tweeted Keene. As you might imagine, one of the forefathers of the zombie movement is mighty busy this time of year, but he graciously to answer three tweeted questions.
So without further ado:
Q+A #1
@bookshelfbattle Back in 2003? No. Never in a million years. But as a fan, I'm glad they are. Exciting new authors covering new ground.
BQB: You never know, 3.5 readers. That idea floating around in your head might just start the new craze. And luckily, I’m going to be interviewing thirty-one authors who are covering new ground in the zombie game.
Q+A #2
@bookshelfbattle It takes 10-20 years to be successful, and even then you won't feel like it. Write because you love it.
BQB: Well, I was hoping he’d be honest and pull no punches, and he delivered. It doesn’t happen overnight, folks. Success by 2035! I can’t wait. Better than no success at all. Let’s try to see the glass as half full here, people.
Q+A #3
@bookshelfbattle How to cope with soul-crushing loneliness and despair.
BQB: Makes sense. In a zombie apocalypse, your potential friend pool consists of the undead who want to eat you and the living who want to kill you so they can eat your food. Oh well. As long as I have my 3.5 readers, I’ll never be lonely.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I’d like to thank Brian for taking the time to answer my questions. He certainly didn’t have to but that he made time for me shows that he truly cares about his readers.
As for my 3.5 readers, I hope you’ll check out Brian’s website and his Amazon Author Page. Don’t forget to pick up a copy of The Rising. It’s a must read for any zombie fanatic.
If there’s a school of zombie fiction, then Brian’s the dean, and what an honor it is for the dean to stop by and get this zombie apocalypse started.
Starting October 1, I’ll be interviewing one author of zombie fiction per day for 31 days.
And these won’t be your typical interviews.
A zombie apocalypse is going to hit East Randomtown (my home town) on October 1 (convenient, I know) and at great risk to myself, I will take a break every day from the undead carnage to call up a different author using Alien Jones’ space phone.
From Oct. 1 to 10, here are the scribes that will be coming to the aid of your humble blog host:
Links will bring you to the authors’ Amazon pages:
The author of the UntilEnd of the World series is going to help me pack the perfect bug-out bag. For you non-preppers out there, that’s a bag to keep by your door to grab in case of a zombie attack that requires you to abandon your home at a moment’s notice.
Most zombies are dirty brain chomping scumbags but believe it or not, there are a few good natured zombies that don’t mean any harm. The creator of the lovable goofball protagonist of Bob the Zombie helps me see the lighter side of the undead.
“The End of the World is Not Glamorous.” So goes the tagline of Stevie Kopas’ The Breadwinner Trilogy. Sometimes we nerds, what with our post-apocalyptic survival fantasies and all, tend to forget just how good we have it when it comes to food, running water, electricity, Internet and so on. Don’t worry as this scribe’s characters are surely reminded.
Retired Naval Officer Ann Christy’s Between Life and Death series features Emily, an eighteen year old who expected her life was going to be all about dating and college only to find herself smashing heads with her favorite sledgehammer. It just goes to show that a zombie apocalypse sure can toss a monkey wrench into the plains you laid out for your life but fear not, 3.5 readers, for Ann will help me sort things out.
What do you get when you cross the classic tale of Swiss Family Robinson with zombies? Why, Swiss Family RobinZOM of course. I become so intrigued by this reimagining of one of my favorite books that I get Perrin on the line to dish, not just about this tale but his other zombie-fied works such as Z-Minus and Blood Memory as well.
The author of the Journal of the Undead series dips into his bag of tricks to help your friendly neighborhood book nerd last another day against the undead hordes. His books even have their own official action figure developed by Mark Neto of Markneto’s Mightiest Mego Super Customs.
I thought about hiring Mark to create a Bookshelf Q. Battler action figure, but an action figure of a guy who collects action figures seems way too meta.
One might think that the erotica and zompoc genres don’t jive, but Gillian explains how danger is an aphrodisiac in her NOLA Zombie novels, where survivors are either killing uglies or bumping them (that is to say each others’ and not the zombies.) Sorry, but you have to clarify everything nowadays.
Also, Gillian is going to school me on how to become an alpha male… so all you women better get your asses over to this blog and check it out!
(Of course, I mean only if you want to, ladies. You know, if you’re not busy and it’s not too much trouble. I’m so sorry for being rude. Please accept my apology.)
Poor Gillian. She’s really got her work cut out for her with a world renowned poindexter like me.
Joseph Zuko is such a bonafide expert on all things undead that “Zombie” is literally his middle name. OK, so I haven’t checked his birth certificate, but its still pretty impressive. Joe, seen above peddling his book, The Infected, door to door, will give me an ed-u-ma-cation on everything from anti-zombie weaponry, post-apocalyptic fitness skills, and even some sweet ass Krav Maga moves. Zombies won’t know what hit them once good ole’ Zombie Zuko gets through training me.
I sit this one out to give Video Game Rack Fighter a chance to hone her interviewing chops. The screenwriter of HVZ: Humans vs. Zombies, based on the popular live action role playing game, talks about his novels like Zombie Attack! as well as how his love of Los Angeles allowed him to bring the City of Angels alive in great detail in LA Undead.
You know 3.5 readers, if a fight ever breaks out between a horde of zombies and Armand Rosamilia, my money is on Armand. I don’t think the zombies would even bother to try anything. Like Chuck Norris, the only thing Armand would have to do is just shake his head in a disapproving manner and the zombies would get all panicked and run in the opposite direction.
Personally, I don’t even think Chuck Norris would stand a chance.
Armand’s well-versed in horror fiction and will check in to talk about his Dying Days series. He’s even written about Cthulhu, which I give him props for, as the legendary squid faced beast is vastly underrepresented in today’s fiction.
Armand is seen above holding a cuddly pink version of Cthulhu, only because you’d probably freak the hell out if you were to ever lay eyes upon the real legendary monster.
There’s more to come, 3.5 readers! #31ZombieAuthors October 1 all the way through Halloween right here on the Bookshelf Battle Blog!
By: Count Krakovich, Special Vampire Correspondent
Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire
Bleh! Bleh! Excuse me! I have a bad taste in my mouth. Must be that Diet Shasta Blood.
Good evening, 3.5 children of the night!
I am Count Krakovich and I am…a VAMPIRE!
Why, you might ask, would I reveal myself on a pitiful blog that only caters to 3.5 readers?
Well, recently, I was kicked out of the League of Vampires. Something about leaving the back door of the castle open so the villagers could come in and burn my brethren alive.
Vampires are such crybabies.
Actually, that wasn’t my first foul up. The High Vampire said it was the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back.”
My other alleged screw-ups (which I do not confirm or deny) include:
Hiring a cleaning crew to take down the drapes and wash them…at noon on the sunniest day of the year. What? You find a crew that’s willing to drive out to a spooky castle at night and then you can give me that look.
I may, and I stress, MAY have lost a bus load of sacrificial virgins. I replaced them with a bus full of sorority sisters on spring break hoping the High Vampire would not notice, but notice he did. In my defense, you try to find a virgin these days.
Say one prayer in the vicinity of a bucket of water, the Second-in-Command vampire uses it for a bath and gets burned to a crisp. Who knew that’s all it takes to create holy water? It’s not like I was praying for anything extraordinary. I was just asking God to let my favorite sports team win because I know he takes an interest in these things.
The vampires put me in charge of vampire pizza night. I come back with what I assume is a meat lover’s pizza only to discover too late that it’s the garlic lover’s special. Yes, I suppose I should have checked first before I left the pizza parlor but how am I to blame for Transylvania House of Pizza’s gross incompetence?
I was charged with redecorating the Vampire Castle. I smashed all the old furniture, put all the sticks into a big dumpster and hired a crew of local villagers to haul it away. Low and behold, they used the sticks as stakes and took out half the Vampire League. OK. Should I have seen that coming? Yes. But hindsight is 20/20. Now I know not to hand villagers a pile of stakes. I won’t do that next time. You live and you learn. You think the High Vampire sees it that way? Ha. That guy has a stick up his ass. That’s not a joke. A villager put it there and now the High Vampire refuses to forgive me.
So anyway, twenty or thirty pooch screws later and here I am, no longer affiliated with any reputable vampire organization. No one will have me and I blame the League. What pathetic loser faces they are, that they’d force me out after all I did for them.
Fear not, 3.5, for I, Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire, will get my revenge by using this blog for the next week to inform the world how to kill vampires.
Feel free to use my lessons on those a-holes in the Vampire League, especially that douchebag High Vampire.
Just don’t use these ideas on me, because hey, we’re cool, right?
This will be me in October. And I’ll still take a break for zombie author interviews!
First off, if you do like zombies, you’re in for one hell of a ride come October.
I’m holding off on the full list of participating authors, but so many great writers have agreed to participate.
As you can imagine, for a guy who writes a blog under the name “Bookshelf Q. Battler” and claims to a) own a magic bookshelf and b) be friends with an alien, that’s very humbling.
There’s a fabulous online community of scribes and more often than not, help is usually just a polite question away.
So even if you have no interest in the zombie genre, I hope you’ll stop by anyway.
Why? Because I’ll be interviewing thirty-one authors who have successfully published and put their works out to the masses.
Maybe you prefer comedy, or romance, or some other genre. Even so, if you’re an aspiring writer, and I know a lot of you out there are, you’ll pick up some know-how from folks who have achieved what so far many of us have only dreamed of.
And hopefully, you’ll have some laughs along the way because of the unique way this interview series is being presented.
Every day, BQB (that’s me) will update his “Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal.” East Randomtown will be overrun by the undead, and it’s up to BQB, Alien Jones, and Video Game Rack Fighter to save the day.
And once a day, our hero will take a break from the action to “call” a writer on Alien Jones’ space phone.
In a zombie-fied world where phone service is down, only a plutonium powered alien communications device will do.
How can you help?
3.5 readers, this year has been all about building a blog audience. One post a day for 365 days. Next year, I need to turn my focus to writing books of my own.
I love writing and don’t worry, that doesn’t mean I’m abandoning the blog next year, though I believe I will have to slow down the pace.
But as much I love writing, I have to admit, in the long run, with all that the world tends to throw at us, writing is generally difficult to sustain unless it’s bringing in money.
Have you seen Field of Dreams?
“If you build it, they will come.”
This blog is my dream. A platform on which to build a writing career. I’m building it and I need people to come.
So this effort represents one last great big push to raise this blog’s stats, followers, hits, and corresponding Twitter, Google Plus etc followers.
All fine folks who liked something they saw here enough to click the follow button and hopefully one day I’ll be able to convince you all to invest in the BQB brand by buying a BQB novel.
Once I get it written, of course.
Not to beg, but if you could do anything to help, that’d be great.
Want an interview with Bookshelf Q. Battler? You got it. My 3.5 readers are your 3.5 readers.
Most importantly, all of these authors have been so generous with their time, that anything you could do to spread the word about them would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for all your help, 3.5. This has been the most work I’ve put in to this blog all year, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it will pay off.
Not when you’re as big a fan of that holiday as I am.
And not when you’ve got a big idea in mind.
Today, my main squeeze Video Game Rack Fighter and I took a walk, did some shopping, and we stopped by a fortune teller who’d set up shop and was predicting futures at five bucks a pop.
VGRF talked me into it and, much to my shock, this mysterious gypsy lady with a kiosk next to the Orange Julius stand at the East Random Town Mall prognosticated the following:
That on October 1 of this year:
VGRF, Alien Jones, myself, and possibly The Yeti will take in a scientific demonstration by my mentor, the esteemed Dr. Hugo Von Science.
That Dr. Hugo, through his gross incompetence, will botch his experiment, thus causing a zombie outbreak to sweep over my hometown.
VGRF, Alien Jones, and myself will be left with no choice but to fight our way through the undead hordes until we reach the safety of the Bookshelf Battle Compound.
Perhaps we’ll even come up a cure for the zombie epidemic in the process.
But to get through this, we will need the assistance of 31, count em, 31 Zombie Authors.
ALIEN JONES: Zombie authors?! That’s ridiculous! They can’t even hold a pen.
BQB: No, I mean authors who have written self-published books about zombies. Though, hey, if there’s an actual function zombie who is an author, I’ll gladly talk to him as long as he promises not to bite me.
Every day, as a new part of the story unfolds, a self published zombie author will take a question from a member of our merry band of unlikely heroes.
Questions will mostly come from me, but Alien Jones and/or possibly the Yeti might have some inquiries. Maybe even Dr. Hugo will participate.
I’ve also heard rumors of this thing called “Women’s Lib” so hell, Video Game Rack Fighter will have some questions too.
Examples:
DAY 1 – We need some supplies. Author Fred Fredman of Super Scary Zombie Book, can you tell us the essentials of what a zombie apocalypse survivor needs to fend off the undead masses?
DAY 2 – The Yeti was just bitten by a zombie. Author Kate Katerson of Incredibly Frightening Zombie Book, do you know if zombie bites affect animals?
DAY 3 – We’re holed up in an abandoned shack and the TV’s working. Author Annie Annerson of You’ll Crap Your Pants if You Read this Zombie Book! Which zombie movie do you recommend we watch to pass the time and why?
I don’t know. Just some initial questions off the top of my head.
Heck, you non-horror authors could get in on this too. Submit questions you’d like to know about how to survive the zombie apocalypse and maybe one of the members of our survivor party will pass it along to an interested zombie author.
ANTICIPATED QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS IDEA:
1) Just self-published horror authors?
Not necessarily. If you’re a traditionally published zombie author, I’d love for you to participate as well. If you have a zombie blog or are some other kind of zombie writer, let’s talk.
Hell, if you’re George Romero, you can just take the blog over.
2) You do a lot of interactivity on this blog. Why a story? Why not just a straight-up interview?
In today’s rapid information age, anything fun is going to be checked out more than a traditional approach.
Take all the late night talk shows these days.
Long ago, all the stars would just sit on the couch and shoot the bull with Johnny and Ed. It was boring as hell.
We love stars but their stories about their acting method or the lunch they ate that gave them a tummy ache or whatever? Who cares.
Jimmy Fallon does hilarious bits with his guests instead. Be honest. Do you want to listen to Scar Jo babble about how hard it was to pretend to be whoever she just pretended to be, or do you want to see her play a rousing game of “Box of Lies” with Jimmy?
NBC – Box of Lies – The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
I loved that. There you go. Scar Jo’s latest movie promoted. I’m left thinking she’s a ball of fun and I wasn’t bored with a story about her acting process.
“Let’s Promote Ourselves with Fun” is what I’ve been going for with Alien Jones’ “Ask the Alien” Column, and that’s what I’m going for with this idea as well.
3) So what are you looking for?
Your choice of length to an answer posed by myself or one of my buddies. I’d say 500 words or so sounds decent, but more if you’re willing.
We could come to an agreement on what question would be best for you. If you have one in mind you want to be asked, that’s possible.
4) Are you going to make me look stupid?
Your books, blogs, reputation as a writer, they’re all important to you, as they should be. I fully understand. Hell, I’ve put so much work into my persona as”Bookshelf Q. Battler,” I’d be unhappy if someone besmirched BQB.
I’d envision the post with:
A) A quick synopsis of what happened today (day of post) with BQB’s friends vs. the zombies.
B) A quick overview of you, the author, including links to your books and or blogs and or Amazon page (or wherever you’re selling them)
C) An answer YOU WRITE that I’m not going to change. They’ll be your words, so you can’t go wrong.
5) I’m still skeptical.
I don’t blame you. I’m a guy claiming to own a magic bookshelf and also that I’m an alien’s friend. It’s understandable that you’d want to kick the tires on this one.
To that end:
A) Alien Jones has had 17 satisfied customers in his Ask the Alien column so far. I’ve never received a complaint from an author who participated yet. Usually they’re pleased enough that they retweet or share AJ’s witty commentary on their own blogs.
B) Alien Jones has a “Don’t Like it and It Gets Taken Down No Problem Guarantee.” If it turns out you don’t like the post, let me know, and it’ll come down. If we can fix it to your liking, that’s great. If not, no hard feelings. I get that writing is a business and you have to do what you have to do. No muss, no fuss, no problem.
But luckily, no author has asked for that yet. And I believe that’s a sign that when you take part in this, you’re in good hands with me and my alien.
6) Keep talking.
At present, I have 1,250 (approx) WordPress followers, 5,400 Twitter followers, and over 500 Google Plus followers. All will be notified of your awesomeness.
7) I’m not one of your 3.5 readers, so I’m not up to speed on your blog and therefore unsure if I could respond to one of your friends’ questions.
No problem. Here’s the lowdown:
Bookshelf Q. Battler = the owner of a magic bookshelf where small versions of literary characters come to life and fight over limited shelf space.
Video Game Rack Fighter = Bookshelf Q. Battler’s girlfriend and author of a video game review column hopefully coming soon, if she ever comes up for air from playing Arkham Knight.
Alien Jones – The Mighty Potentate, ruler of an undisclosed planet, is displeased with the growing popularity of reality television. He’s a fan of scripted media and feels promotion of fiction authors is the only hope to stem the reality tv tide. To that end, the MP has dispatched his emissary, Alien Jones, to answer questions from self-published authors and in the process, make Earth a smarter place one question at a time. Alien Jones truly believes in this mission, and isn’t doing it just because the Mighty Potentate has threatened to vaporize him if he abandons his assignment before BQB’s writing career is off the ground.
The Yeti – An international war criminal and fuzzy snow monster, The Yeti is currently imprisoned deep in the bowels of the Bookshelf Battle Compound. However, BQB isn’t completely heartless and allows the big lug out once a week to watch Scandal. Alien Jones brings the bean dip.
Dr. Hugo Von Science – A distinguished professor of science at Science University, Dr. Hugo is this blog’s science correspondent and holds patents on over a bazillion inventions. We’re fairly certain he might be plotting a global conquest in his spare time, but his generally goodnatured demeanor covers up his underlying intentions well.
There you go. That’s the blog in a nutshell. It’s a labor of love for me, and it’s enjoyed daily by 3.5 people, one of whom is my Aunt Gertrude.
(There are some subsidiary, occasional characters. Uncle Hardass, the ghost of my grumpy uncle, shows up once in awhile to tell me to give up all of my hopes and dreams of becoming a writer and get a job at the salt mines. The Funky Hunks are a rap group I used to belong to and they show up now and then too. Oh, and a whole slew of tiny book characters live on my magic bookshelf).
Don’t get me started on Bookshelf Q. Battledog.
I don’t believe the subsidiaries will get involved but you never know. 31 days means I need to come up with a lot of ideas to keep a story going.
8) You had me until you said you have 3.5 readers. Doesn’t seem worth it.
“3.5 Readers” is an ongoing, inside joke for this blog. In the beginning, I really did only have 3.5 readers. But I pressed forward and now I have more. Like any blog, I have up days and down days. I’d say on a good day I get anywhere around 30-70 hits.
Views are often double, sometimes triple, the hit count and I believe this is because people who do find this blog like it enough to stick around and read some more.
At any rate, I’ll do what I can to make this a fun, month long Zombie fiesta. On my own, I’m going to be writing about The Walking Dead and the new Fear the Walking Dead and overall, if this works out, it’s just going to be 31 days of zombies.
9) What’s in it for you?
Cross promotion, basically. If you enjoy what you see here, I hope you’ll do want you can to point folks to my ramblings. Not required, of course. That’s about it.
10) So now what?
At this point, I’d just like to get the ball rolling. I’m starting early because to recruit 31 people to respond to a daily ongoing story is going to be like herding cats.
Right now, I’d just like to see who’s interested enough to let me know. If you want in, Tweet me @bookshelfbattle or tell me in the comments here.
You can send me a private message on Twitter too. Just tweet me to let me know you sent it so it doesn’t get lost in the mass of spam I get from folks trying to sell me timeshares, miracle ointments, and **Cough cough*** self published books.
I’d say by mid-August, if I can wrangle enough authors to be interested in this, then I’ll be able to see who’s who, what’s what and come up with better questions that would apply to various authors.
If it’s a go, I’d like to get questions to you late August, or September and have 31 posts in the can by the time October rolls around.
But then again, this could be a dumb idea.
If it fizzles out and goes nowhere, then hey, I tried. You’ve got to try, right?
Feel free to share with anyone you think would be interested. If I see enough interest, I’ll start getting in touch with folks with formal instructions at the end of the summer.
Leave me your thoughts, 3.5.
Until next time, this has been Bookshelf Q. Battler and Video Game Rack Fighter, signing off:
Q. Regarding your protagonist, Darlene Bobich, one Amazon reviewer wrote, “she is a well-developed character who grabs a hold of you with her guts, fears, pain, uncertainty, and determination to keep going.” There has been a lot of discussion for the need for more female roles in fiction lately. How did you come up with the idea for Darlene and how were you able to portray her in a way that intrigued readers?
Bookshelf Battle 