SONG TITLE: The Angel of Death
(Dr. Jack Kevorkian, the notorious proponent of assisted suicide, hooks up a little old lady to a machine. The machine is attached to a series of IV bags filled with deadly drugs.)
OLD LADY: Let me have it, doc! I can’t take it anymore!
DR. KEVORKIAN: Don’t worry, ma’am. In just a few minutes, you’ll be stone cold dead.
OLD LADY: Hooray!
(The police break in.)
KEVORKIAN: What’s the meaning of this?
(Everyone breaks into song.)
COP: Dr. Kevorkian, you’re an enemy of the state!
KEVORKIAN: Just wait!
COP: Dr. Kevorkian! You’re killing people without a single care!
KEVORKIAN: That’s not fair!
COP: Dr. Kevorkian, oh what, oh what will we do? What will we ever do, with a dangerous reprobate such as you?
OLD LADY: I’ll tell you what to do. You should let this man go because he’s an angel…an angel of death. Yes, he’s trying to kill me but that’s fine with me because I can no longer wait until my dying breath! I’m filled with so much pain!
COP: Lady, it’s just a sprain!
OLD LADY: But it hurts to no end.
COP: Give it a day and you’ll be on the mend.
OLD LADY: Who are you to say how much pain I’m required to comprehend? This doctor is an angel…an angel of death!
COP: This is chaos! This is strange! People deciding when to die is utterly deranged. Sure you’re filled sorrow, but it might all turn around tomorrow, don’t you want to stick around and wait it out?
OLD LADY: No, I want to die, I’ve carefully thought it out!
COP: Ma’am, I doubt any of us are going to a better place. Darkness is the only thing that we have to face. Surely, if there’s more time for you in this world, you should seek it.
OLD LADY: Meh! You can keep it.
COP: Kevorkian! You’ve killed a bunch of old ladies, what do you have to say?
KEVORKIAN: They’re all better off dead, if they were alive, they’d be suffering to day! Oh diseases for which there are no cure, there’s only one thing left to do. We’ll put down a dog, we’ll step on a frog, but a dying old person we’ll leave them for years to rot through and through….
COP: I…I never thought I’d see it your way! You’re an Angel of Death and you ease suffering and keep pain at bay. Tell me doctor, will you kill my old mother without fail?
KEVORKIAN: What makes her ail?
COP: The old bitch has a hang nail!