Tag Archives: pop culture

Pop Culture Mysteries – Season One Ranked #795 on Wattpad

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Take a knee, 3.5 readers, for I have some joyous news to share.

Pop Culture Mysteries – Season One is currently ranked #795 is Mystery/Thriller on Wattpad.

I know! It’s the first time I’ve been ranked on any kind of list, and that includes all of those field day participation ribbons I racked up in elementary school.

You have questions, don’t you?

WHAT IS WATTPAD? 

It’s a great site where writers can publish and share their stories.

WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?

To gain a following. To share ideas. To get feedback. For me, it has helped me get over that little voice that whispers “you’re not good enough!” in my ear. When people start sharing positive comments, that voice starts to pipe down. I highly recommend it.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE RANKED #795?

Fame. Fortune. Hot babes throwing themselves at me. (Video Game Rack Fighter is too busy playing Car Thief Mayhem to care.)

No. None of these things. It basically means of all the Mystery/Thriller stories on Wattpad, I’m in the top 1,000.

That was a big boost that I needed. As we head into the new year, there’s been a voice in my head nagging me that I’m wasting my time with this and I needed something like this to happen.

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Aunt Gertie’s going to tell all the gals at the old folks’ home about this!

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

I’m not sure. If you know how the Wattpad rankings work, please let me know. I’ve been making an effort to comment/share feedback on others’s stories lately, I started a new site for the “Pop Culture Mysteries” –  popculturemysteries.com, a Facebook page  and so on.

I’ve been posting the story in rough draft form on this site, Bookshelf Battle, since June and have been sharing PCM stories on Wattpad for awhile.

BUT – what really surprised me is that this particularly version “Pop Culture Mysteries – Season One” has only been up since the beginning of December. So to get into the top grand people really began taking notice, however it happened.

WHAT’S GOING ON WITH SEASON ONE?

My writing process:

  • I’ve written some posts on this blog. I am writing others in a word document.
  • I’m revising them, polishing them, and posting them in Season One on Wattpad.
  • Eventually, these posts will reach their final home on popculturemysteries.com, which should be “officially” up and running by April 1.
  • Right now, I’m wrapping up a revised edition of “Enter the Blonde” in which Jake and Delilah meet for the first time and negotiate the infamous “Pop Culture Mystery Contract.”

HOW CAN WE HELP YOU, BQB?

An excellent question. Frankly, it’s about time you asked it. The first thought you should have when you wake up in the morning should be, “What can I do to help Bookshelf Q. Battler’s writing career?”

I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing this for Earth. The Mighty Potentate has threatened to conquer our planet if I don’t get myself established as a noteworthy scribe soon.

My hope is to sustain and even surpass this rank. I’d like to move up higher on the charts.

If you’re on Wattpad, please consider following me – @bookshelfbattle and voting for/commenting on “Pop Culture Mysteries – Season One.”

Let me know what’s working and what isn’t. All kidding aside, this is a fun, unique story told in a very distinct hardboiled voice, and I think people are slowly but surely starting to recognize it.

I just need to get my butt in gear to keep them coming back for more.

If you’re not a Wattpadder, become one! Sign up, share some stories, trade ideas with other writers. Maybe this will be your big break. A number of writing careers have been successfully launched thanks to Wattpad.

THANKS 3.5 READERS

You are all appreciated. I couldn’t have done this without you. By the way, do you realize if each of you would just tell one friend about my efforts, I’d end up with 7 whole readers?

So many readers.  Must have more readers…

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Popculturemysteries.com

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If you enjoy being one of my 3.5 readers, will you consider becoming one of the 3.5 readers of “Pop Culture Mysteries” conveniently located for your perusal at www.popculturemysteries.com?

This is your opportunity to get in on the ground floor and become one of my 3.5 readers on a new site before competition for these coveted 3.5 slots kicks in.

The Pop Culture Mysteries site is currently under construction. I’ve set a deadline to get it up and running on April 1, but I’ll be making some posts and adding information to it in the months ahead.

This is kind of like renting a new apartment and inviting your friends over to see it before the truck arrives with your furniture.

In other words, I have no place for you to sit, but I’d love for you to take a peak and tell me what you think.

Plus, you can read on as I answer the question, “What is a Pop Culture Mystery?”

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Mystery Writer Interviews

By: Jake Dashing, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Private
Investigator

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You’re a writer, a scribe, a wordsmith, but you’re not just any ordinary
Mickey Spillane type either.  Oh no.  Like an bona fide seamstress, you thread your words ever so delicately through the eye of the needle that is your book only to attach it to your readers’ hearts just so you can yank them to and fro, turning them into your own personal puppets.

You sling your work like hash fresh off the grill, serving them straight into the gaping maws of your fans and like a bunch of trained seals, they always slap their fins together and beg for me.

You barely have time as it is but you need to make some, because time flies when you’re having fun but it should always stand still for a man in need.  And as I’ve been instructed to say by a beautiful blonde attorney, that man in none other than one Bookshelf Q. Battler.

Battler’s setting up a new website, see?  “Pop Culture Mysteries” is the name and answering entertainment questions is the game, or rather, it’s my game, as that pencil neck dweeb has concocted a scheme to drive me indefinitely into a life of involuntarily servitude.

But troubles are a dime a dozen, a plug nickel on Sunday, and the last thing you need is to have a bum like me bend your ear with mine.  What you need to know is what Battler wants from you.

He’s got the pop culture part covered.  What he needs now is more mystery and like a door with a bright big red X painted on it, that’s where you come in.

You see, Battler fancies himself a writer only no one has the nerve to tell him that they’ve seen bird cage liners with more flare than the schlock this palooka churns out.

He wants to learn some tips to improve his writing skills (I know, you’re good but you’re no miracle worker) and he wants to catch the twinkling eyes of mystery fans the world over and bring them to his site, so to cut a longwinded gab session in half, he wants me to interview you.

And I’ll do it in my typical hardboiled noir style.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, SPECIFICALLY?

I’ll write the questions.  You write your answers.  I’ll turn it into Battler and he’ll slap it up on the Interwhatever, see?

IS THERE ANY COMPENSATION?

Are you kidding?  Someone check my leg because I think it’s being pulled.

Battler’s such a lousy cheap skate that you wouldn’t be able to open up his wallet with a crowbar and a plumber’s helperzx . If you did, a squadron of moths would fly out and dance the hula mid air as a joyous victory celebration of their newfound freedom.

You’d sooner get a rummy to part with his bottle than you’d get Battler to part with a penny and…ok…you get the point.

Battler can send his 3.5 readers your way though.  I put on my green eyeshade, crunched the numbers and realized that means a total of seven new eyeballs on your work.  Maybe one of them wears an eyepatch or something, I don’t know.

CAN BATTLER BE TRUSTED?

Your asking the wrong fella, Jack.  I trust Battler about as far as I can throw him and since he’s insulated himself behind his blonde bombshell of an attorney, I’m not able to toss that lug very far at all.

But that’s between Battler and I.  What I do know is this cat treats writers who help him out like royalty, so take that into consideration.

#31ZombieAuthors – I don’t believe in the supernatural and I think Battler is full of three day old horse manure when it comes to the tall tales on his site, bookshelfbattle.com.  But he did interview #31ZombieAuthors in October 2015, 1 a day for 31 days and it was a rousing success.

Ask the Alien – I don’t think Battler’s telling the truth about being friends with an alien from outer space.  After all, a little green man in search of intelligent life would be bored out of his mind with Battler as a buddy.  Aside from that though, this column has promoted the works of around 20 authors.  Add that to #31ZombieAuthors and we’re talking over 50 satisfied writers.

THE GUARANTEE

As a writer, you make your living on your reputation, so it makes sense that you’d be skeptical about throwing your hat into a ring run by a weirdo who claims to be friends with aliens.

That’s why Battler offers everyone a guarantee.  You don’t like the post of your interview? Let Battler know and it comes down.  No muss.  No fuss. No problem.

50 author promos later and not one has asked for this, but if you do, BQB will yank that interview like he’s starting a boat motor.  Like all of my hopes and dreams, your interview will be gone and that will be that.  No hard feelings, as if there are any other kind.

If you’re interested, let Battler know.  If you’re not, I don’t blame you.  Between you, me and the four walls, that guy is a big loser with about as much charisma as a wet blanket in a tepid pool of water.

So thanks for listening, ya big lug ya and if you’re ever in my neck of the woods, well, I’d say drinks are on me but since i’m broke, they’ll be on you.

Get me something good.  Nothing fruity but otherwise it doesn’t matter as long as it helps me to pass out and stop all the bad memories I have from playing over and over again like a bad gag reel.

It’s been a real gas, kid.

Jake Dashing

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Like Pop Culture Mysteries on Facebook

By: Jake Dashing, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Private Investigator

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Facebook. It’s an invention my middle twentieth century mind will never be able to wrap itself around. A bunch of yahoos with unlimited reserves of time blabbering on about what they had for lunch, what they’re having for dinner, offering their unsolicited political opinions, and forcing you to look at their vacation photos and pictures of their hideous children.

Not for nothing, but back in my day, if you ran around town demanding that everyone look at your photo album and listen to the most mundane, trivial aspects of your life, you were considered a grade a square.

But times have changed.

If you’re on Zuckerberg’s thing-a-ma-jig, stop by the Pop Culture Mysteries page and toss a like Battler’s way.

And if you millennial folk don’t have as much pep in your step as the greatest generation and you’re too lazy to click that link above on your beep boop machine, you can always get there later by logging onto Facebook and searching for “Pop Culture Mysteries.”

Don’t ask me what any of that means.  I was told to say that by that delicious dish, Delilah K. Donnelly, and when that leggy dame barks, yours  truly inquires as to how high.

Someday I hope someone will explain to me what all this nonsense means.  Until then, help Battler out.  Or don’t. If you ask me, that cat’s a bag and a half of schmucks and then some, so its no skin off my potato, Jack.

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Pop Culture Mysteries – Open Contracts

By: Jake Dashing, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Private Investigator

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Pop culture.  It’s a world that keeps Bookshelf Q. Battler up late at night, his spacious brain filling up with one question after another about movies, music, television, books, and more.

I’m not sure I can relate. When I lose sleep, its because I’m too busy picturing all the Nazis my country demanded that I punch to death with my bare hands. I suppose each generation has its priorities.

Battler’s got info I want and he’s not forking it over until I solve a whole mess of mysteries for him.  But this whack job thinks of questions faster than I can answer them, so here are the mysteries currently up for grabs.

Being a private dick is a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but if you want to try your luck at the sleuthing game, feel free to let Battler know you want to snatch one of these up:

MOVIES

In Star Wars, if the Death Star is supposed to be the size of an actual star, why is everyone able to walk around it and fly around it so quickly?

In Pulp Fiction, Harvey Keitel’s character, “the Wolf” is billed as a highly skilled fixer, one whose knowledge regarding the art of the cover up is so valuable that he simply erase all evidence of a crime, making it as if nothing ever happened….but then all he does is show up and tell Vince and Jules to spray the car down with Windex.  (Seriously, watch the movie.)  Was the Wolf that special?

TELEVISION

Did Tony Soprano live or die at the end of The Sopranos?  Was this a good or bad ending?

Why did the ending of Dexter both suck and blow at the same time?  Or did it?

On Gilligan’s Island, Gilligan and the gang go on, as the theme song says, “a three hour tour.”  How then, was it possible for everyone to become so irretrievably lost when they only strayed a mere three hours away from charted land?

On Married with Children, the running joke was that Al Bundy was disgusted by the idea of getting it on with his wife, Peggy.  Peggy wasn’t that bad looking though, even with her wacky beehive and leopard print attire.  What gives?

On Sons of Anarchy,  Jax Teller embraces a life of crime that provides very little return on investment.  Why is it that a scruffy bum who was lucky enough to win the heart of super hot doctor Tara didn’t just sit back and say, “Well, I’m going to sponge off my hot surgeon wife now, who no doubt makes a high salary because she’s a damn surgeon.  Hell, maybe I’ll even put my focus on turning the auto repair garage my father left into a profitable business.”  But instead, he just keeps making lousy criminal deals and then bumbles his way through them, often losing money on them and inviting a world of hurt.  Seriously, WTF?

MUSIC

Who put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp and will this individual strike again?

Who let the dogs out?

What is a “hollaback girl” and why does Gwen Stefani go to great lengths to make sure you know she isn’t one?

To be sure, Sir Mix-a-Lot likes big butts and is unable to lie about this particular subject.  Why then, do the other brothers deny this truth?

VIDEO GAMES

What’s up with the hard sell?  Whenever you buy one they try to make you buy insurance, upgrades, and basically treat you like you’re trying to buy a fully loaded 2016 Toyota Tundra instead of a $60 fantasy experience.  What gives?

COME UP WITH YOUR OWN

That’s all Battler’s got for now but rest assured that loser will keep ’em coming.  That nerd has way too much time on his hands.  And if you’re a nerd with too much time on your hands, feel free to come up with a pop culture mystery of your own and raise it up the flag pole to see if Battler salutes.

For those of you who can’t translate hardboiled noir talk, that means tell him about it in the comments.

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Pop Culture Mysteries – Contracts

By: Delilah K. Donnelly, Official Counsel for the Bookshelf Battle Blog

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Au chante, sir or madam, as the case may be.  It is an absolute delight to make your acquaintance.

If you are reading this then my client, the revered blogger Bookshelf Q. Battler, has selected you to take on a Pop Culture Mystery Contract.

I understand, darling.  Your mind is positively swimming and you have so many questions, the most pertinent of which are:

WHAT IS “POP CULTURE MYSTERIES?”

It’s a site Mr. Battler is constructing that will be devoted to answering the most troublesome questions about pop culture – movies, television, entertainment, music and more.  He’s retained the services of Detective Dashing, whose reports will form the bulk of the site, but Mr. Dashing can’t do it all alone.

WHAT IS A POP CULTURE MYSTERY CONTRACT?

You, as a noted author in your genre, will lend your expertise to a question or “mystery” relevant to your area of expertise.  If you’re a science fiction author, for example, he may inquire about Star Wars.  Romance author? Perhaps Mr. Battler will have a question about 50 Shades of Gray.

He’s currently assembling a list of “open contracts” or questions that you might select from, or he may propose one tailored to your specific talent.  You may even propose a Pop Culture Mystery of your own.

WHAT I DON’T LIKE THE CUT OF BATTLER’S JIB, SEE?

As an attorney I fully understand that authors must guard their reputations zealously and that working with a blogger who claims, among other things, to be friends with an alien from outer space, might raise an eyebrow or two.

However, consider:

#31ZombieAuthors – Mr. Battler interviewed 31 (actually 32 as two authors were a team on one book) in the month of October, 2015.  All were treated with respect, their questions and concerns about the project listened to and all were pleased with the results. Many tweeted and/or shared their interviews with their fans.  Several told Mr. Battler that they even enjoyed these interviews and had quite a bit of fun.

Ask the Alien – Darling, I do not presume to boast but as you can see, I am a fabulous person.  As such, I can’t publicly discuss a notion as foolish as whether or not aliens exist.  That being said, Mr. Battler’s blog has been running a feature called “Ask the Alien” in which authors ask an alien a question and he provides an answer, along with a promo of the inquirer’s work.  About 20 authors have “asked the alien” a question so far.

BETWEEN BOTH – Misters Battler and Jones have interviewed 50+ authors without complaint.

BUT I MIGHT COMPLAIN

You might and Mr. Battler will offer the same guarantee he’s provided to others, namely, that if you dislike the final post, he’ll take it down, no muss, no fuss, no problem.  To date, no one has asked but be assured if you do, he will.

COMPENSATION

Absolutely none whatsoever.  It’s not my desire to speak ill of my employer but Mr. Battler is a bit of a skinflint.

He can, however, offer you the eyes of his 3.5 readers and if its one thing an author needs, it’s 3.5 more readers.

THANK YOU

On behalf of the Bookshelf Battle Blog, a site I diligently represent, I thank you for taking the time to consider this modest proposal.  If you are interested, I believe you will find the experience enjoyable.  If not, Mr. Battler understands and wishes you will in your future endeavors.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mystery of my own to solve.  Which pair of these breathtaking shoes shall I wear this evening?

 

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Announcement #3 – Pop Culture Mysteries Is On

Hi again, 3.5 readers.

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Why Delilah spends her time representing BQB will become part of the mystery.

In case you didn’t realize it from Announcement #2, then yes, Pop Culture Mysteries is officially a go.

I am the president of the television network inside my mind and I just gave this endeavor the green light.

At the risk of being vaporized by the Mighty Potentate, Undesiredverse will be on hold.

I like Undesiredverse.  I think its a continuation of my “so funny you’ll have a good time but serious enough to make you want to know what happens next” style.

But after thinking about it, I barely have enough time to see one project through and I have no clue how I’d be able to juggle two at the same time.

So as the president of my mind, I’ve decided to put all my eggs in the Pop Culture Mysteries basket for the foreseeable future.

I’ve been attempting to write a novel for years now and I continue to get trapped by the idea that “oh, this NEW idea is really EASY to write and I’ll bang a rough draft out in a month then pop it right out there!”

That’s why I thought I’d give Undesiredverse a go.  Man and Alien become caretakers of strange woman.  They must get her to safety and in the process, find out why all the evil doers want her.

I know why.  I can’t tell you why because hopefully I’ll write it one day.  BUT – as I thought about it, explaining WHY they wanted her became complicated.

There just is no such thing as a “I’ll bang that out lickety split!” novel.  There’s no simple fix.  If you want the quality, you have to put the time in.

So Pop Culture Mysteries it is.  I’m going to let my attorney, the enchanting Delilah K. Donnelly, make the formal announcement, but here are my preliminary thoughts:

THE BLOG

I found a blog template that looks like a desk, the posts and photos look like they’re on paper – so in other words, ITS AS IF ITS ALL WRITEN BY A DETECTIVE WORKING OUT ALL THE DETAILS!!!  Yup, the format was just too beautiful to pass up.

THE POP CULTURE

My experience writing #31ZombieAuthors cinched the deal for me.

One worry I had was that as Jake (or Mack?) goes on, his reports become less about pop culture and more about his own past and present exploits as a detective, boxer, and war hero.  I need those exploits to sell books.

But I also want the site to be about solving pop culture mysteries.

So:

  • Jake’s still going to solve pop culture mysteries in his own way.
  • Informant Zero is going to pose a Pop Culture Mystery Question once a week, invite readers to discuss, and give the answer the next week and finally…
  • Just as I did with #31ZombieAuthors, I will be seeking out writers who will be deputized as pop culture detectives and they will be given pop culture mysteries of their own to solve (in fact, if you want in, let me know in the comments below.)
  • I’ll also be interviewing mystery writers about their craft.  So ultimately, the site becomes a big mashup of pop culture, mystery, and noir.

I’M GOING TO BE BUSY

It’s December.  I need to write a whole season of Jake’s exploits and get several author interviews/contributions in the can and ready to go.

The main story will go all week but I’m thinking Mystery Author Interviews will be posted on Friday and Pop Culture Detectives will have their posts up on Saturday.  (I’m going to call these “contracts,” as it will be explained that Delilah delivered their cases to them).

I’m hoping if I can stick with it, I’ll be able to launch April 1, but at the latest May 1.  I’m really hoping for April.

Once April or May is here, I’ll have several months of posts ready to go so I can throw them up and then focus my time on Jake’s first book…for sale…for money, because, gosh darn it, I really need this nonsense to start making some money one day in order to justify keeping it going.

CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE PLOT?

Jake/Mack/Whoever He Is fell asleep at his desk in 1954.  For 60 years, his friends, Mr. and Mrs. Tsang, took care of him, followed by their daughter, Susan, whom Jake regards as his niece.

A year later after trying to figure out what happened, the mysterious Delilah K. Donnelly pays him a visit.  She’s an attorney for Bookshelf Q. Battler, a world renowned poindexter, etc. etc.

While BQB will remain a goofball on bookshelfbattle.com, he becomes the Charlie from Charlie’s Angels on Pop Culture Mysteries – i.e., he’s always giving orders but he’ll rarely show up in person.  Instead, Delilah delivers his mysteries for him.

A deal is struck.  BQB claims he knows why Jake/Mack/Whoever fell asleep for 60 years and how to get him back to his own time.  But he won’t give up the info until our hero solves 100 pop culture mysteries.

In between tracking down the answers to BQB’s questions, our detective will have to:

  • Adjust to modern life, with plenty of room for witty social commentary on how things that happen today seem odd to a person from the 1950’s.  We’ll discuss the good and the bad.  (GOOD – people have more rights.  BAD – People spend too much time using those rights to post about their lunch on social media.)
  •  Get Real Work – BQB only pays $5 bucks a case and our hero can’t sponge off his niece forever, so he’ll need to find real mysteries he can solve for pay.
  • The Past – tell us about mysteries he solved way back when.
  • Vigilantism – He’ll definitely start dabbling in taking down modern day ne’er-do-wells.  A hot police detective babe will take notice.

THE FIRST NOVEL…

…will be about how our hero punched Adolf Hitler in the face.  In the process of doing so, he obtained a certain item and, well, even though BQB’s blog(s) only get 3.5 readers, a person from his past will come looking for it.

To clarify, the person from the past will come looking for it in the first season of blog posts.  How he punched Hitler and got the item will be the crux of the first novel…which I will sell on Amazon…for many, many, payments of monies.

But not really.  As long as I get $3.5 dollars I’ll write a sequel.

THANKS 3.5 READERS

If you’re a writer of any genre who wants in on a) solving a pop culture mystery or b) a mystery writer who wants to talk about his/her craft, let me know.  Your books/blogs/social media etc will be promoted so check out #31ZombieAuthors for an idea of what I’d do.

 

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Announcement #2 – Jake’s Name Change

A few months ago, I had a Kobayashi moment.

You know what that is, don’t you?

Remember when the cop in The Usual Suspects drops his ceramic coffee mug, marked Kobayashi on the bottom, and everything goes in slow motion as he, in a very shocked manner, comes to grips to the realization that Kevin Spacey/Verbal just snowed him?shutterstock_224427679

Oh.  SPOILER ALERT.  Sorry.  Whatever.  You had like 20 years to watch that thing.

I did some research and learned there is a noted noir writer with a character named, “Jake Hatcher.”

What are the odds?  I never beat the odds for good things to happen to me.  I’ll never win the lottery or get caught in an avalanche of bikini models but yup, I made up a random name and sure enough, another noir writer was using it.

And I’m not being disrespectful or anything, he seems like a great writer. He’s published so, you know, he’s running laps around me.

I did think “what the hell just use it anyway no one cares.”  And chances are, no one would.  But then, you know, what if that guy’s Jake Hatcher becomes a movie character?  That kinda ruins mine.

So after deliberating for awhile, I decided that Jake needs, at the very least, a last name change.

3.5 readers, please provide me with your input on the following:

DASHING – After pouring through name books, coming up with all kinds of possibilities, it dawned on me that it would be fun to come up with a last name that pays tribute to Dashiell Hammett, the author of The Maltese Falcon and the man recognized as the inventor of hardboiled private eye/mystery noir genre.

Dash?  Daschle?  Dashman?  Dashington? Dasher?

Then it just hit me.  “Dashing.”

I know.  It’s a bit contrived.  Almost like “Rip Pecchest” or “Dirk Steele” but I like it, its got meaning, and its the result of months of thinking about it and not coming up with anything better.

3.5 READERS: You spent months thinking about this?

BQB: Oh, the things I do for my 3.5 readers.

JAKE DASHING – I was going to go with Jake Dashing and I still might.  I have a subplot in mind where he is Jacob Roscoe Dashing and his evil brother who looks just like him assumes his identity (Roscoe Jacob Dashing, formerly Hatcher).

OR

MACK DASHING – It’s manly, rolls off the tongue.  It’s cartoonish but so is the whole concept.  Its about a guy who took a 60 year nap after all.  I suppose the brothers would be Mack Roscoe Dashing and Roscoe Mack Dashing (I wish my name was Roscoe Mack Dashing.)

Jake Dashing seems more plausible.  But as I studied the noir genre, there are a lot of fictional hardboiled private dicks named Jake.  I never found one named Mack.

His full named would be Mackenzie, which I know, is a girl’s name.  It can be a boy’s but its mostly for girls now.  I could write it away by having him tell Uncle H’s joke about “why the hell are there so many girls named after cowboys?!” and then he vows to never be called anything but Mack.

So Jake Dashing is closer to my original intent, but Mack Dashing is more unique.

Either way, his last name is Dashing, his first name is down to Jake or Mack.  I’d like your input.

Thanks 3.5 readers.

 

 

 

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Movie Review – The Hunger Games – Mockingjay Part 2 (2015)

“You live long enough to die a hero or become the villain.”

Such was the advice provided to us in The Dark Knight and it rings true in this final film in the Hunger Games series in which Katniss faces not only President Snow, but an enemy in her own camp as well.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2.

SPOILER WARNING: Reading below will lead to the spoilers being ever in your favor.

The critics are already foaming at the mouths because this movie didn’t beat last year’s installment, Mockingjay Part 1.  

That’s a dumb assessment because it still raked in a hundred million.  Did your movie bring in a hundred million in its first weekend?  What?  You don’t even have a movie?  Oh.  Ok then.  Shut your cake hole.

Our finale begins with some very war weary rebels, exhausted by battle and willing to make morally questionable choices just to win.  Some believe its ok to kill civilian loyalists to the Capitol as long as it gets the job of ousting Snow done.

How far should revenge be taken?  It’s a question asked throughout the movie and applicable to the real world.  One side does X, the other responds with Y…the reciprocity keeps going until one side is big enough to, in the words of Elsa, “let it go, let it go.”

The rebels reach the Capitol and Katniss and friends form a “star squad” meant to wow the people with footage of their daring do, which is supposed to be captured as they hang back from the fighting.

But Snow has other plans.  He’s rigged the Capitol with traps and is recording everything, broadcasting the biggest episode of “The Hunger Games” ever as the war turns into one giant game.

Oh and Peeta is still brainwashed.  So Katniss has to deal with that too.

The film turns on Katniss facing a troublesome dilemma, namely that the rebels’ president, Alma Coin (Julianne Moore) is looking like she’ll make President Snow look like a boy scout when she takes over.

Thus, Katniss has to make a choice but I’ll let you check it out to see how that unfolds.

One complication the movie faced was the untimely death of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who played Plutarch.  He was in it briefly and there are non-talking clips of him throughout.  A speech he was supposed to give to Katniss at the end is replaced by Woody Harrelson’s Haymitch reading a note from Plutarch at the end.

It worked out.  As a viewer, you understand given the loss of Hoffman and its done in a way that it makes sense as to why Haymitch is reading a letter rather than Plutarch talking to Katniss himself.

IMO, the Peeta vs. Gale question is wrapped up too neatly.  Katniss has suffered that immortal youthful angsty question of “I love them both and they’re so nice what do I do?”

One of them turns out to be nicer than the other but I’ll let you watch and find out who.  Kudos to Hollywood for a rare display of open mindedness by at least allowing a short nerdy guy to even be in the running.

Overall, lots of great action, suspense, etc.  It was an excellent series that introduced us to the lovely and talented J Law.

As a viewer, when you invest time in a series, you want it to pay off in the end and this one does.

STATUS: Shelf worthy.

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Pop Culture Mysteries – Case File #TBA – Kill ‘Em Again – Part 5

OK Battler.  You want answers?  I’ve got ’em.shutterstock_246824188-2

A man gets chased by a psychopath.  Suddenly the man gets the upper hand on the ne’er-do-well.  Knocks him out cold.  Lays him out on his ass.  Assumes he’s dead but we all know what happens to you and me when you assume don’t we?

A cynic might just say it’s for dramatic effect.  Lull the audience into a false sense of security.  Make them think that the worst is behind them then whammo, the killer works up his second win.  Like life, the bad guy strikes when you least expect it.

Personally, if that Michael Myers fell you’re all so keen on come Halloween came near me, I’d whip out Betsy and put one between his eyes, followed by five in his heart with perfect grouping.

But therein lies the rub.  Most of these characters in slasher films are just kids.  Young people.  Camp counselors and students and the like.  They haven’t experienced much in the way of adversity, have never fought anyone and when it comes right down to it, don’t have the demeanor of a 1950’s hardboiled private eye.

Bottomline: good people don’t know how to kill people, at least not in a way that keeps ’em dead.

So while double tapping Jason might be the wisest decision, it’s also a sign you’ve lost your humanity.

That’s this private dick’s two cents anyway.  Take it or leave it but either way you owe me five bucks, nerd.

Oh, and a notebook full of my recollections of Operation Fuhrerpunschen is on its way to our mutual blonde acquaintance.  Hope it helps though if you get blown up I won’t lose any sleep either.

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