This book is FREE the next couple days, so grab your FREE copy:
This book is FREE the next couple days, so grab your FREE copy:
I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are insane! My book “Freefall” is priced to move!
ZERO percent interest! ZERO percent APR! ZERO money down! Just click the link below and GRAB YOUR FREE COPY TODAY! BAH HA HA!
Yes, my price on this book is so low that if it were a limbo stick, a rattle snake wouldn’t be able to limbo under it, that’s how incredibly low my price is! My price is so insane I’d better confirm my reservation at the funny farm! BAH HA HA!
But seriously, 3.5 readers. This is a good, short story about a man who goes skydiving only to find out his parachute has been sabotaged. He’s only left with a few minutes to figure out how to save himself and whodunnit.
So, if you could grab a FREE copy, I’d appreciate it. If you want to read it too, that’s even better and if you want to read it AND leave a review, that’s even more better, better-er? Whatever. Get a FREE COPY FOR FREE BECAUSE IT IS FREE!
FREE is better than paying, 3.5 readers.
No, really. It’s fine. I didn’t want to get paid. Making money is for losers. I just want to put a smile on your face with a free book.
So go on. Grab a copy of my new book, Freefall (A FREE BOOK WITH FREE IN THE TITLE) for FREE!
That’s right. It is FREE for the next 5 days.
Hey 3.5 readers.
Seriously, isn’t that a great cover?
The latest installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts is now available on Amazon.
The blurb:
When amateur skydiver Larry Rutledge takes his first jump out of a perfectly good airplane only to find his primary and backup ripcords have been sabotaged, he’ll have five minutes and 13,500 feet to figure out how to save his life…if he can. If there’s any time leftover, will he be able to solve the mystery and identify the parachute saboteur? Will it even matter if he doesn’t survive?
A tale of money, an illicit affair, thrills and suspense awaits you in this, the fifth installment of BQB’s Twisted Shorts. Do you like “The Twilight Zone?” Do you like “The Outer Limits?” Do you like “Black Mirror?” Well, BQB doesn’t have the budget to make shows as awesome as those, but his self-published journey toward creating an episodic anthology has begun.
PREVIOUSLY ON BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE…
READ
AND NOW BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER AND THE MEANING OF LIFE CONTINUES…
“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!”
Vicky and I screamed and screamed as we sat in Happly’s ejector seat, watching the island below grow closer and closer.
“SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT TRUSTING PEOPLE?!!” I yelled.
Vicky fumbled her hands all over the seat in a desperate search for something, anything that could be used to save the day.
“HOW DO WE GET THE PARACHUTE TO OPEN?!” Vicky asked.
“I DON’T KNOW!”
“WELL,” Vicky yelled back at me. “STOP COMPLAINING AND DO SOMETHING ALREADY!”
I whipped out my generic off brand cell phone. This was a job for Sally, my automated personal assistant.
“Sally!” I shouted.
My phone beeped.
“Hello Eduardo,” Sally replied in her pleasant monotone robot voice.
“How do you open up the parachute on an ejector seat?” I asked.
“I’m afraid I do not understand Eduardo…”
“EJECTOR SEAT!” I shouted. “HOW DO YOU OPEN THE PARACHUTE?!”
“I have found three restaurants that serve bamboo chutes,” Sally said. “Do you want their addresses?”
“NO!” I yelled. “TELL ME HOW TO OPEN THE PARACHUTE ON AN EJECTOR SEAT!”
Vicky kept searching.
“Eduardo,” Sally said. “I do not understand, ‘Tell me how to open the parachute on an ejector seat!’ Would you like me to perform a web search on it?”
“YES!!!!!”
“I do not understand when the next installment of BQB and the Meaning of Life will be? Would you like me to perform a web search of tomorrow?
Copyright (c) Bookshelf Q. Battler. All Rights Reserved.
Cell phone image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.