Previously on Game of Yetis:
PART 1 – House Bookshelf – Lord BQB hides out from the War for the Iron Throne, coming up with various excuses as to why he’s been unable to assist various claimants to the throne all the while positioning himself to declare allegiance to whoever emerges as the victor. Alas, a complication in his plan arises when a band of Yetis under the control of Lord Yeti abscond with his supplies of snacks and Dew of the Mountain.
PART 2 – House Yeti – Lord Yeti of House Yeti, the ruler of Yetifell, a territory North of the Wall, where abominable snowmen love to frolic because it is ridiculous cold, mocks his son Yetyrion, calling him a dwarf because he is 6’5″ (which is really short for a Yeti).
PART 3 – House Bookshelf – The usually not so easily rattled Lord BQB is enraged when he discovers that his supply of Special Edition Code Red Dew of the Mountain has been stolen by dirty yetis in the employ of Lord Yeti of House Yeti. Unable to purchase an army of eunuchs because Daenerys Stormborn bogarted them all, he turns to his trusty banner men. Alas, they were only in it for the Dew of the Mountain and now Lord BQB must fight this battle alone.
And now Game of Yetis continues…
It was the best drink that ever rolled across Lord Yeti’s tongue.
Not because it was particularly succulent…or even delicious. He’d had better.
The Dew of the Mountain tasted so good to Lord Yeti because it was the property of his sworn enemy, one Lord Bookshelf Q. Battler.
“Father,” Yetyrion said. “Why do you despise Lord BQB so?”
Lord Yeti grunted and sipped from a chalice filled to the brim with fizzy goodness.
“Is it because Lord BQB is ridiculously handsome?” Yetyrion asked.
“What?” Lord Yeti said. “No.”
“Do you hate Lord BQB because he is exceptionally clever?”
“Lord BQB clever?” Lord Yeti asked. “Please. I’ve seen yeti droppings with more wit and wisdom than that hack.”
“Jealousy then is it?” Yetyrion asked. “You’ve been bitten by the green eyed monster is a God among men?”
“Did Lord BQB write these questions for you?” Lord Yeti asked.
“No,” Yetyrion replied. “Umm…maybe. No. No he didn’t.”
A hundred roars filled the castle walls, warning the supreme ruler that trouble was afoot. Lord Yeti walked the spiral staircase all the way to very top of Castle Yeti, which overlooked the frigidly arctic wasteland that sprawled its way north of The Wall.
“Why have you roared an alarm?” Lord Yeti asked.
“My Lord,” the commander of the banner yetis said. “Look!”
Lord Yeti peered through a spy glass to see a thousand white walkers trudge their way toward Castle Yeti.
It was a sight so unusual that Lord Yeti dropped his chalice of pilfered Dew of the Mountain, allowing it to spill all over the stone floor below.
Yetyrion finally made his way up the staircase to the rooftop, only to find his father and a band of awe struck yetis.
“What’d I miss guys?”
Yeah I know. It’s a bear.