Daily Archives: April 16, 2015

Star Wars – The Force Awakens Trailer – 2

Nerds are foaming at the mouth:

EXPERT ANALYSIS BY BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER, THE NERDIEST OF THEM ALL

  • For the first time in over thirty years, Luke Skywalker and co are back on the big screen.
  • It is said that Leia has the force, which was never displayed in the films (though it makes sense)
  • Han and Chewie are back.  Han looks as good as a man in his 70s can.  Chewie has either found the fountain of youth or he dyes his fur.
  • Don’t those droids ever get updated with newer models?  I feel like I have to upgrade my phone every five minutes.
  • Harrison Ford – for the love of God, can you please stay away from the WWII planes?  Yes, we love you.  We’re glad you survived the crash.  But come on man, if you crash an antique plane (yeah yeah besides the obvious tragedy) do you realize what a bummer that would put on this awesome movie?  STAY AWAY FROM THE WWII PLANES!
  • Enormous crashed Star Destroyer!
  • Luke’s robot hand on R2D2’s head!
  • Darth Vader’s crushed helmet!
  • X-Wings!
  • Tie Fighters!

It looks great!  This Christmas…celebrate the birth of Christ and…yeah yeah yeah bring on STAR WARS!

Meanwhile, the first six films are available on digital download for the first time in forever.  Have you downloaded any of them yet?  Which one is your favorite?

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A Post Making the Rounds of the Self-Publishing World

You know that 20th “Buy My Book!” tweet you tweeted today?  You might want to rethink that strategy:

Delilah S. Dawson of whimsydark.com – “Please shut up: Why self-promotion as an author doesn’t work.”

Personally, I think she makes a lot of sense.  I don’t think in today’s modern world you can completely go without marketing (and I didn’t get the impression she’s saying that) but on the other hand, you can’t rely on it either.

Marketing and a Book worth marketing – they go hand in hand.  Sometimes we market so much that we neglect our writing altogether.

What do you think, 3.5 readers?

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Game of Yetis – Part 4 – House Yeti

Previously on Game of Yetis:

PART 1 – House Bookshelf – Lord BQB hides out from the War for the Iron Throne, coming up with various excuses as to why he’s been unable to assist various claimants to the throne all the while positioning himself to declare allegiance to whoever emerges as the victor. Alas, a complication in his plan arises when a band of Yetis under the control of Lord Yeti abscond with his supplies of snacks and Dew of the Mountain.

PART 2 – House Yeti – Lord Yeti of House Yeti, the ruler of Yetifell, a territory North of the Wall, where abominable snowmen love to frolic because it is ridiculous cold, mocks his son Yetyrion, calling him a dwarf because he is 6’5″ (which is really short for a Yeti).

PART 3 – House Bookshelf – The usually not so easily rattled Lord BQB is enraged when he discovers that his supply of Special Edition Code Red Dew of the Mountain has been stolen by dirty yetis in the employ of Lord Yeti of House Yeti.  Unable to purchase an army of eunuchs because Daenerys Stormborn bogarted them all, he turns to his trusty banner men.  Alas, they were only in it for the Dew of the Mountain and now Lord BQB must fight this battle alone.

And now Game of Yetis continues…

It was the best drink that ever rolled across Lord Yeti’s tongue.

Not because it was particularly succulent…or even delicious.  He’d had better.

The Dew of the Mountain tasted so good to Lord Yeti because it was the property of his sworn enemy, one Lord Bookshelf Q. Battler.

“Father,” Yetyrion said.  “Why do you despise Lord BQB so?”

Lord Yeti grunted and sipped from a chalice filled to the brim with fizzy goodness.

“Is it because Lord BQB is ridiculously handsome?”  Yetyrion asked.

“What?”  Lord Yeti said.  “No.”

“Do you hate Lord BQB because he is exceptionally clever?”

“Lord BQB clever?”  Lord Yeti asked.  “Please.  I’ve seen yeti droppings with more wit and wisdom than that hack.”

“Jealousy then is it?”  Yetyrion asked.  “You’ve been bitten by the green eyed monster is a God among men?”

“Did Lord BQB write these questions for you?”  Lord Yeti asked.

“No,”  Yetyrion replied.  “Umm…maybe.  No.  No he didn’t.”

A hundred roars filled the castle walls, warning the supreme ruler that trouble was afoot.  Lord Yeti walked the spiral staircase all the way to very top of Castle Yeti, which overlooked the frigidly arctic wasteland that sprawled its way north of The Wall.

“Why have you roared an alarm?”  Lord Yeti asked.

“My Lord,”  the commander of the banner yetis said.  “Look!”

Lord Yeti peered through a spy glass to see a thousand white walkers trudge their way toward Castle Yeti.

It was a sight so unusual that Lord Yeti dropped his chalice of pilfered Dew of the Mountain, allowing it to spill all over the stone floor below.

Yetyrion finally made his way up the staircase to the rooftop, only to find his father and a band of awe struck yetis.

“What’d I miss guys?”

Yeah I know.  It's a bear.

Yeah I know. It’s a bear.

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