PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF YETIS…
And so it came to pass that Lord BQB and Maester Monty found themselves in Riverrun. Lord BQB had just moments ago confided in Monty his love of large warrior women.
“Yes Monty,” Lord BQB said. “Big, tall, handy with a broadsword, able to vanquish my enemies but still keep me warm at night.”
“Twill be a tall order to find a damsel such as that in this realm,” Monty replied.
Suddenly, there was a rustle in the bushes. Out stepped an incredibly tall warrior woman with her squire in tow.
“Halt!” the woman said. Her hair was short in blonde. Her face? It looked like it might have been pretty at one time but since had grown haggard from years of toiling in battle. “Who goes there?”
Lord Bookshelf Q. Battler, having searched high and low for a humongous warrior woman, instantly fell to his knees, rapt in the throes of passion.
“He’s speechless,” Maester Monty said. “That’s a first. I am a Monty, a learned Maester of Shelftopia and this is my Lord, Bookshelf Q. Battler of House Bookshelf.”
“Ummm,” Lord BQB said. “Ummm uhhhh….”
“Well whoever you two imbeciles are you’re of no interest to me,” the warrior woman said. “Out of my way!”
“Wait!” Lord BQB said, finally managing to eek a word out. “Who are you, you magnificent creature?”
“This is Brienne of Tarth,” the squire replied. “And I am her noble squire, Podrick.”
“Brienne of Tarth,” I said. “Sounds lovely. I prey you, good warrior woman, please accompany us on our quest to secure my Dew of the Mountain, for it has fallen into the hands of the evil Lord Yeti of Yetifell.”
“Oh great,” Brienne said as she looked at Podrick then at Lord BQB. “Another useless male I have to drag around everywhere.”
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Yay Brienne!