Best Pickup Lines #101-150

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#101 – Oh, I guess you’ll do.

#102 – Pardon me ma’am, but do you have a taser?  If so, is it charged?  Also, what’s your pepper spray situation?  I ask because the ER says my health insurance won’t cover any more zap or eye treatments this fiscal year.

#103 – If you were peanut butter, I’d spread you on my bread.

#104 – The ladies say I’m a dog.  Wanna pet me?

#105 – Let’s go back to your place.  My place is filled with silverfish.

#106 – I’ve been told I have a silver tongue.  Got any varnish?

#107 – Want to play Monopoly?  I’ll put my finger in your thimble.

#108 – Would you like to split an ice cream soda at the malt shoppe?

#109 – Why yes, these are Hammer pants.  Thank you for noticing.

#110 – Look into my eyes.  You are getting sleepy…very sleepy…

#111 – Does anyone else know you are here?  Would anyone miss you?  Just curious is all.  No biggie.

#112 – Do you come here often?  Would you like to?

#113 – Would you be willing to take a compatibility test?  You only have to fill in the bubbles on a scantron sheet for seven hours.

#114 – Want to see me crush a beer can on my head?

#115 – I sure would love to bounce a quarter off that tucas.

#116 – I feel like I could get lost in your eyes.  Would you like to get lost in my chest hair?

#117 – I’d like to sketch you sometime, but I’m not a very good artist.  It would probably just look like a stick figure with two giant chest circles.

#118 – We’re not getting any younger.

#119 – I just sold my three years sober chip for a keg.  I’m officially off the wagon, baby! Woo!

#120 – I’ll mow your lawn and trim your hedge.  Also, I will do your lawn work.

#121 – You shaved down there or do you look like you’ve got bigfoot in a leg lock?

#122 – I’d love to take you to Europe, but the International Showcase at Epcot is the best I can do.

#123 – Who’s up for a little bit of the slap and tickle?

#124 – You are an amazing woman and I value your mind and spirit over your body.  Was that sufficiently deep to get me into your pants or do I have to spout off more nonsense?

#125 – It totally works.  I just got it checked.

#126 – Wanna come back to my place?  We can take turns lying down in the chalk silhouette on the floor.

#127 – Allow me to serenade you with my accordion.

#128 – Wanna do your good deed for the year?

#129 – Hey lady.  Stop staring at my crotch.  My eyes are up here.

#130 – You look exactly like a movie star.  Has anyone else ever mistaken you for Rosie O’Donnell?

#131 – We’re like two ships passing in the night, except now it’s time to dock in your harbor…

#132 – Let us crash our bodies against each other like two portly wildebeests rampaging their way across the Savannah.

#133 – Eh, like you could do better.

#134 – What wedding ring?  Oh, THAT wedding ring!  I’m just holding it for a friend…

#135 – You’re pretty hot.  Seriously, you could be a prostitute in the greater Manhattan area if you wanted to.

#136 – If looks could kill you’d be an Apache attack helicopter outfitted with heat seeking nuclear missiles and twin gatling guns.

#137 – Can I touch it?

#138 – Can I text you sometime…and also, many times after that?

#139 – I know we just met but I can already imagine a life where I pass out in front of the TV with a beer in my hand and a cigar in my mouth while you wash the skid marks out of my undies.

#140 – I’ve been told I look like a young Abe Vigoda.

#141 – Would you mind terribly if I were to take a life insurance policy and then hang out with you for awhile at the top of a very high flight of stares for absolutely no reason in particular?

#142 -Yeah, I’m a health nut. My diet consists mostly of Slim Jims and Red Bull.

#143 – I have a map to the G-spot.  A legendary explorer gave it to me in exchange for three gold doubloons and a goat.

#144 – Can I sniff the air in your general vicinity?

#145 – Are you one of those lame-os who freaks out when a man takes between thirty and forty thousand photos her while she’s sleeping?

#146 – I’m into feet.  Can you take off those shoes so I can meet yours?

#147 – I wipe regularly.

#148 – I’m cash poor but love rich.

#149 – Check out the size of my hands.  Extra big gloves for me if you catch my drift.

#150 – Let’s boogie.

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