3.5 readers, it isn’t easy being BQB. I have to murder vampires, zombies, werewolves, all of that.
But I must all destroy the lesser known freaks, like chupacabras. Yes, chupacabras. Have you heard of them? Maybe yes, maybe no.
They aren’t as popular. They literally suck the skin off goats, so you know, there’s not going to be a Twilight for chupacabras. No one’s writing a chupacabra love story. I mean, I could, because I’m that good a writer (and humble) but I’m busy.
Look, you don’t need the details. Suffice to say, an evil warlock has threatened to magically turn the wife of every man in the greater Tri-state area into a clone of Sarah Jessica Parker.
Now, yeah, I’ll admit, for some dudes with hideous wives, that’ll be an improvement. Plus, you might be like, “SJP is hot!” and like yeah, if you look at her from one angle, I’ll give you that, but then if you look at her from another angle, she’s got a horse face. Like, she looks like a horse lady. Like, I wouldn’t know whether to kiss or click my tongue three times and give her an apple and brush her coat. It’s confusing. Men don’t need that problem.
So, fear not. I will murder 1,000 chupacabras and then the warlock will be on his way.
While you’re waiting for me to finish besting this goat suckers, why not read some of Search Engine Optimized Poet’s SEO Optimized Poetry? Full of buzz words that are sure to rack up the clicks!