Top Ten Warning Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be a Nihilist

friedrich-nietzsche-67543_1280

Ahh…nihilism!  It’s the belief in nothing, but then again, if nothing is something and you believe in nothing, doesn’t that mean you believe in something?  #mindblown

Is your boyfriend sullen?  A bit depressing?  He never looks on the bright side?  Maybe he’s more than just a pathetic little goth twerp.  Maybe he’s a full blown Nietzsche worshipping nihilist.

From BQB HQ in Fabulous East Randomtown, it’s the Top Ten Warning Signs Might Be a Nihilist:

#10 – He Doesn’t Believe in Paying the Check

He could be holding fast to a belief, or he could just be a cheap fucker.  Oh well, it’s 2017. Women can pick up checks now.

#9 – He Doesn’t Believe in Deodorant 

Could be a nihilist.  Could just be smelly.

#8 – He Doesn’t Believe in Cunnilingus

Which is surprising as Nietzsche more than likely gave many an 1800s German lady a free mustache ride with that big ass lip room.

#7 – He Doesn’t Believe in Doing Household Chores

No laundry.  No dishes.  Maybe it’s his instinct to say no to the world he sees as a big nothing, but then again, he could just be a man.  I mean, that’s women’s work.  Am I right, fellas?

#6 – He Doesn’t Believe in Believing 

And if he doesn’t believe in belief then do his beliefs fold in over themselves and collapse into nothing?

#5 – He Doesn’t Believe in Anniversaries

Or that could just be an excuse to explain why he always forgets them.

#4 – He’s Embraced His Inner Ubermensch

Then again…let he who hasn’t embraced his inner ubermensch cast the first stone.

#3 – He Doesn’t Believe in Jobs

Which is cool because prospective employers don’t believe in him either.

#2 – He Doesn’t Believe in Relationships

So why are you still with him?

#1 – He Always Sees the Glass as Half Empty

It makes sense.  Someone had to drink half the milk.  Was it you?  For shame.  You’ve destroyed your nihilist boyfriend’s faith in the world, or what little he had.  Then again, if he had any, he wasn’t a nihilist to begin with, so there you go.  There’s that.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: