Breakout Social Media Celebrity Lloyd Bunson, Host of “Lloyd Bunson’s Happy Fun Time Ejector Seat Channel.”
By: Lloyd Bunson, Professional Worrier
It’s been awhile since I’ve stopped by to say hello to you, 3.5 readers and do you know why?
Because I’ve been worried. I’ve been worrying so much that I curled up into the fetal position and locked myself in my homemade, underground bunker, subsisting on a steady diet of oreo cookie filling and rain water.
Worrying about what? I was worried you’d ask.
Have you noticed lately that tipping just isn’t for waiters now? Say you go to a restaurant and stop at the bar to pick up a take-out order you’ve phoned in. You’re basically doing the establishment a favor. You aren’t taking up one of their tables. You aren’t eating up the wait staff’s time, making them fetch you drinks and food and such.
You run your credit card and the counter person gives you a receipt to sign…where there’s a line for a tip! This worries me. What should I do? I mean, better question, what did the counter person do? He just handed me a box of food. Really, I’m the one doing all the work here. I’m picking up the food. I’m going to take it home and serve myself. I’m going to pour my own drink like a caveman. Am I really expected to tip a counter person just for handing me a box?
I’m so worried. Do I tip just to be courteous? I like the food at this place so if I don’t tip I worry they might spit in my food. But if I tip the counter staff, will the waiters be mad? The waiters are doing more than the guy at the counter so maybe the next time I decide to go in and sit down for a meal, the waiter might rub his junk all over my potatoes au gratin. Talk about extra cheese.
I’m very worried, 3.5 readers. Very worried indeed. I’m also worried about Bookshelf Q. Battler. Why does he keep this dumb blog going? No one reads it. I don’t think even the 3.5 readers read it. Do you 3.5 readers really read it? I’m so worried you don’t and when BQB finds out he actually has 0 readers he will be very sad.
Do you tip counter staff for a take out order? Besides that, what else are you worried about?
Bookshelf Battle 
I try to remind myself that worry about trivia is a vacation from worrying about real stuff…
My advice to Lloyd is unfortunately you’ve got to leave the same tip for a counter person who just hands over your take out as you do for the person who waited on your table all night…especially if you eat there regularly and don’t want them to think you suck.
I tend to do that — but when you think about it, counter people don’t have to walk nearly as far…