And now, Bookshelf Q. Battler, one of the greatest minds of the Twenty-First Century (but hey, the century is still young) will share his great musings…
#126 – Every office needs a good ficus tree.
#127 – British people call potato chips, “crisps.” Thank God we freed ourselves from those clowns.
#128 – Florida is a nice place to go when you want to get warm.
#129 – Race cars go fast.
#130 – If you want to befriend a chimpanzee, keep a banana in your pocket.
#131 – Whenever you gamble, you might lose money.
#132 – Fried chicken tastes better boiled.
#133 – Karate is a good skill to learn.
#134 – Jogging is a good way to exercise.
#135 – Plague doctor masks are always fun to wear.
#136 – Water is wet.
#137 – Ugh. How long are we going to have to pretend Amy Schumer is funny?
#138 – It’s always a good time to have a good time.
#139 – Bunnies eat their vegetables and it shows. I’ve never seen a sick bunny.
#140 – Just when I think I’m woke, I’ve fallen asleep.
#141 – Macy’s is a good place to shop.
#142 – Jokes are the best when they are funny.
#143 – Crackers are good snacking.
#144 – Whenever I see that “Sun Setter Retractable Awning” commercial, for that company that can build an awning that retracts into your house, I wonder, “Who are these assholes buying this who don’t know how to pitch a tent?”
#145 – Whenever I have a can to open, I can never find a can opener. Likewise, whenever I have a can opener, I never have a closed can.
#146 – Donkeys are funny small horses.
#147 – If you don’t scratch a sticker, can you still sniff it?
#148 – Tigers are bad pets.
#149 – Traveling is a good thing to do.
#150 – I don’t know what I don’t know.