And now, Bookshelf Q. Battler, one of the greatest minds of the Twenty-First Century (but hey, the century is still young) will share his great musings…
#151 – A dollar doesn’t buy much anymore.
#152 – Alcatraz was a formidable prison. Why’d they close it down?
#153 – Reece’s Pieces are like M and M’s, except the candy shell covers peanut butter instead of chocolate or a chocolate covered nut.
#154 – No one ever screams for ice cream anymore.
#155 – Ferret is an oft underutilized meat source.
#156 – English is a language that is easily understood by those who speak it well.
#157 – I’d rather not contract syphilis if I can avoid it.
#158 – Barbie has so many jobs. Where does that bitch find the time?
#159 – Somewhere on another planet, there is a guy writing on a blog as poorly read as this one.
#160 – Television is fun to watch.
#161 – A hat is the best thing to wear when your head is cold.
#162 – See #161 but replace “hat” with “gloves” and “head” with “hands.”
#163 – I’ve never thought much about mitochondrial DNA. The subject is over my head.
#164 – A stranger is just a person who may or may not lock you up in a secret room they have hidden between two walls in their creepy old house.
#165 – I use an alarm clock to wake up in the morning, but I’d prefer a soldier playing “Reveille” on a trumpet.
#166 – Whenever you want to smoke, you never have a lighter. Isn’t that always the way?
#167 – Humans are shaved apes. Apes are furry humans.
#168 – Whenever my house is dirty, I clean it.
#169 – Nobody says, “Talk to the hand” anymore.
#170 – Neon colors aren’t used enough.
#171 – I like to start my day with a big bowl of oatmeal with some raisins mixed in.
#172 – If I could travel through time, I’d go back to two seconds ago, and rewrite this musing.
#173 – All animals should be required to wear pants.
#174 – There goes Don Quixote, tilting at windmills again.
#175 – It must be hard to be crazy.