#101 – Oh, I guess you’ll do.
#102 – Pardon me ma’am, but do you have a taser? If so, is it charged? Also, what’s your pepper spray situation? I ask because the ER says my health insurance won’t cover any more zap or eye treatments this fiscal year.
#103 – If you were peanut butter, I’d spread you on my bread.
#104 – The ladies say I’m a dog. Wanna pet me?
#105 – Let’s go back to your place. My place is filled with silverfish.
#106 – I’ve been told I have a silver tongue. Got any varnish?
#107 – Want to play Monopoly? I’ll put my finger in your thimble.
#108 – Would you like to split an ice cream soda at the malt shoppe?
#109 – Why yes, these are Hammer pants. Thank you for noticing.
#110 – Look into my eyes. You are getting sleepy…very sleepy…
#111 – Does anyone else know you are here? Would anyone miss you? Just curious is all. No biggie.
#112 – Do you come here often? Would you like to?
#113 – Would you be willing to take a compatibility test? You only have to fill in the bubbles on a scantron sheet for seven hours.
#114 – Want to see me crush a beer can on my head?
#115 – I sure would love to bounce a quarter off that tucas.
#116 – I feel like I could get lost in your eyes. Would you like to get lost in my chest hair?
#117 – I’d like to sketch you sometime, but I’m not a very good artist. It would probably just look like a stick figure with two giant chest circles.
#118 – We’re not getting any younger.
#119 – I just sold my three years sober chip for a keg. I’m officially off the wagon, baby! Woo!
#120 – I’ll mow your lawn and trim your hedge. Also, I will do your lawn work.
#121 – You shaved down there or do you look like you’ve got bigfoot in a leg lock?
#122 – I’d love to take you to Europe, but the International Showcase at Epcot is the best I can do.
#123 – Who’s up for a little bit of the slap and tickle?
#124 – You are an amazing woman and I value your mind and spirit over your body. Was that sufficiently deep to get me into your pants or do I have to spout off more nonsense?
#125 – It totally works. I just got it checked.
#126 – Wanna come back to my place? We can take turns lying down in the chalk silhouette on the floor.
#127 – Allow me to serenade you with my accordion.
#128 – Wanna do your good deed for the year?
#129 – Hey lady. Stop staring at my crotch. My eyes are up here.
#130 – You look exactly like a movie star. Has anyone else ever mistaken you for Rosie O’Donnell?
#131 – We’re like two ships passing in the night, except now it’s time to dock in your harbor…
#132 – Let us crash our bodies against each other like two portly wildebeests rampaging their way across the Savannah.
#133 – Eh, like you could do better.
#134 – What wedding ring? Oh, THAT wedding ring! I’m just holding it for a friend…
#135 – You’re pretty hot. Seriously, you could be a prostitute in the greater Manhattan area if you wanted to.
#136 – If looks could kill you’d be an Apache attack helicopter outfitted with heat seeking nuclear missiles and twin gatling guns.
#137 – Can I touch it?
#138 – Can I text you sometime…and also, many times after that?
#139 – I know we just met but I can already imagine a life where I pass out in front of the TV with a beer in my hand and a cigar in my mouth while you wash the skid marks out of my undies.
#140 – I’ve been told I look like a young Abe Vigoda.
#141 – Would you mind terribly if I were to take a life insurance policy and then hang out with you for awhile at the top of a very high flight of stares for absolutely no reason in particular?
#142 -Yeah, I’m a health nut. My diet consists mostly of Slim Jims and Red Bull.
#143 – I have a map to the G-spot. A legendary explorer gave it to me in exchange for three gold doubloons and a goat.
#144 – Can I sniff the air in your general vicinity?
#145 – Are you one of those lame-os who freaks out when a man takes between thirty and forty thousand photos her while she’s sleeping?
#146 – I’m into feet. Can you take off those shoes so I can meet yours?
#147 – I wipe regularly.
#148 – I’m cash poor but love rich.
#149 – Check out the size of my hands. Extra big gloves for me if you catch my drift.
#150 – Let’s boogie.
Bookshelf Battle 