Tag Archives: mad men

TV Review – Mad Men (2007-2015)

Dun dun…dun dun…dun dun….dun dun…cartoon silhouette of a man falling out of a window combined with violin music.

Hard drinking, chain smoking 1960s advertising men and Christina Hendricks’s jumbotrons = a compelling historical drama.

BQB here with a review of Mad Men.

3.5 readers, I like to consider myself an educated person. I read books and shit after all.

But few shows brought to life for me the women’s rights struggles as this show did.

Ironically, that’s not what the show is about but it is what I’ll probably always remember it for.

The set-up – Don Draper (Jon Hamm) lives the life of a free wheeling, perpetually fornicating Madison Avenue advertising executive (aka he is a “Mad Man.”)

Because its the 1960s, he’s pretty much free to boink any babe he wants and just tell his wife he had to stay late at work if she asks any questions.

In fact, his comrades at the firm pretty much do the same thing.  His boss, Roger Sterling (John Slattery) and his underling Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) rival Don in their hard drinking, smoking, and extramarital affairs.

We often look to the past as simpler, more innocent times yet this show does put on display things that were commonplace in the past that would turn a head today, the most glaring example that everyone at the firm has their own fully stocked bar in their office and walking around the office with a cocktail in one hand and a smoke in the other happened all the time.

Good luck trying that today.

The formula is pretty standard:

  • Don cheats on his wife because he was once a poor bum who never thought he’d amount to anything and now that he is on top and the world is his oyster he feels this driving need to drink, smoke and boink as much as possible before his life is over.
  • Extramarital boinking is fun for five minutes but then he realizes family is the real deal, that one night stands will never bring him the long lasting happiness that being a family man will.
  • Don decides to straighten up only to start boinking again. In his defense, women just throw themselves at him so it is hard to avoid the boinking. It is easy for me to say that I’m not an evil boinker since no one is offering to boink me.
  • Don’s colleagues at the firm all experience the “be faithful to your spouse vs. boink while you can” conundrum.
  • Along the way, we learn a lot about the history of commercial advertising, how some of the advertising campaigns that fool us into buying crap we don’t need got started and continue today.

There are times when the show seems tedious, like it is going nowhere.  I get the main premise, i.e. love the one that’s loyal to you because the side action will never be as loyal.

If I didn’t bear a striking resemblance to a gargoyle, I would take this to heart and tell the side action to take a hike. Alas, I am too hideous to attract side action.

But maybe I’m the lucky one. Maybe Don would have been better off if he weren’t so damn handsome and having so many women throwing themselves at him, demanding that he be unfaithful.

I mentioned the women’s rights movement earlier.  So, what I noticed is that Betty (January Jones) who is super hot and frankly, would be enough for me (I’d be racing home from the office to get all up in that) basically has to put up with Don’s bullshit.

She’s a housewife. No money. No career. No job prospects. If you’re a 1960s housewife and your husband cheats on you, your choices are a) put up with it and lose your dignity or b) leave and be poor because the best job you’ll be able to find is waitressing if you’re lucky and also you’ll lose the kids because your husband has the money to hire a lawyer and you don’t.

So thanks a lot, Don, you big time douche. Dudes like you who had no idea how good you had it created a world where women had to take charge and alas, I don’t have January Jones waiting for me when I come home now.

Aside from the man drama, you also have Joan (Hendricks) and her enormous sweater cannons, which are basically characters in and of themselves and Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) paving the way for women in business, showing what working women had to go through.

Throughout the series, we see Peggy go from mousey secretary to female Don Draper while Joan must navigate her way through a sea of perverts who want access to her sweater cannons on her quest to be taken seriously as a businesswoman.

All seven seasons available on Netflix. Set your TV to widescreen mode so you can take in Joan’s chest rockets in their entirety.

Seriously, its like watching a movie when you the theater is packed and you have to sit in that damn row that’s right up against the screen.  You have to look to the left to see the left boob then crane your neck to the right just to see the right boob.

Very stressful.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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#OscarsSoPretty – Snubbed Actor – Geoffrey Arend

Hey 3.5 readers.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with continuing coverage of my one man campaign to get the Academy to welcome more ugly people into the fold.

I’ve been tweeting my support for various ugly actors who I feel have been passed over for Oscar consideration just because of their looks.  I’m not sure they appreciate it.  They probably think I’m calling them ugly like its a bad thing.  There’s nothing wrong with being ugly.  Embrace how God made you, I say.

Anyway, I had a brief Twitter conversation with Geoffrey Arend.

WHO?!

Yeah, when I started thinking of less than handsome thespians to tweet my support for, “That nerdy guy who is married to Christina Hendricks” came to mind but I couldn’t recall his name, even though he’s starred in a lot of stuff and you’d totally recognize him if you saw him.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not knocking the guy in any way whatsoever.  He’s been my hero forever on account of the fact that, let me repeat, a) even though he’s a nerd b) he married Christina Hendricks.

Christina Hendricks played super 1960’s hottie Joan on Mad Men for those readers who aren’t hip to the TV scene.

So, let me be clear, no one should take what Geoffrey says below as support for the #OscarsSoPretty movement, which to date, only really consists of me.  I don’t want to put words in the guy’s mouth or anything.

He’s a cool dude who was a good sport and traded funny, snarky comments with me.  Since this is a blog for nerds, I wanted to ask his advice on how nerds can romance and marry super hot chicks, but I figured that would probably be pressing my luck.

But all you lonely nerds out there, cheer up, for it is possible.  Just look to Geoffrey Arend for hope and inspiration.

Much appreciated, Mr. Arend.  Readers, you might remember this actor from Devil or Garden State. Currently, you can see him as Matt Mahoney on CBS’ Madam Secretary.

Personally, my favorite role of his was as that stoned kid who ate all the shrooms in Super Troopers.

 

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TV Review – Mad Men Series Finale (2015)

SPOILER ALERT

What did you think of the Mad Men Series Finale?

I like it when the fates of characters are spelled out.  I know there are some who are ok with it when things are left up in the air but personally, when I’ve invested time in a series, I like to know what happens with these characters I’ve spent time watching.

The series finale of Mad Men provided closure (and surprisingly happy endings) for the main characters (well, except Betty.  Poor Betty).

The look of complete and unrelenting sadness on Don’s face when Peggy asks Don “What did you ever do that was so bad?” and he explains it…that pretty much captures the whole series.

Sooner or later, bad actions catch up with the actor.  Cheating was fun and all but faced with the fact that his philandering means that he won’t be able to be there for Betty, the woman he loves, during her terminal illness forces him to fully accept the full weight of what he’s done.

We’re led to think Don might commit suicide but the story ends…with a smile.

Catharsis.  The assumption (I assume) is Don forgives himself.  It’d be nice to know what he’s going to do next, but at least he’s come to terms with his past and is willing to forgive himself and move on.

It’d be nice to know if he actually does move on and live a fruitful life from hereon but I suppose shows can’t last forever.

Thanks Mad Men.  You will be missed.

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Top Ten Mad Men Series Finale Predictions

10.  Some random business guy enters the room to talk about business.  You’ve paid so little attention to the business side of the show that you can’t tell if this is a new character or if he’s been around since the first episode.

9.  Don dies.  Wakes up to find his vision of Heaven is to be surrounded by women who are cool with him cheating.

8.  Spin-off:  Roger and Don move to Hawaii to become private detectives.  AMC next fall – “Sterling and the Drape!”

7.  Flash forward to the future.  They’re all in the 90’s, decrepit and old.  “Internet marketing?  That’ll never go anywhere!”

6.  Meanwhile a middle aged Peggy sees the Internet as the next best thing, invests, becomes uber rich.

5.  Joan remembered as the leader of the hot women’s right to be taken seriously in the business world movement.

4.  You suddenly remember there are other people on the show besides Don, Pete, Peggy, Joan and Roger.  What happened to them?  Oh well, who cares.

3.  Megan’s cover of Zou Bisou Bisou ranks at the top of the charts.

2.  Don quits the ad game to become Super Dad.

1.  Roger gets a bionic heart, continues peddling ads till the end of time.

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Upcoming Mad Men Finale – Spoilers and Predictions

REPEAT – SPOILERS AND PREDICTIONS

Mad Men.  It’s a historical drama at a time when history doesn’t translate well into big bucks, yet somehow it’s stayed afloat since 2007.

I picked it up around 2010 and have been a fan ever since.

Sometimes I wonder why.  Here’s a breakdown of the show:

DON:  Business business?

PETE:  Business!

ROGER:  Play play! Who cares about business?!

DON:  Business schmizness!  Women!

PETE:  Family?

DON:  WOMEN!

PETE:  Yes.  Women.

ROGER:  Me three women!

VARIOUS OTHER ADMEN:  Did you business up the business?

DON:  Business business.

PETE:  60’s reference.  Business.

PEGGY:  Women should get to be in business too!

JOAN:  Hot women should also get to do business!

PEGGY:  Say, what’s that supposed to mean!  I thought we were in this together!

In other words, the advertising deals these “Advertising Men of Madison Avenue” or “Mad Men” make are half the story line, yet I just don’t have the strength to follow who messed up the Sunkist account, or who’s pitching a proposal to General Motors or who made some executive at Phillip Morris angry it’s like…come on.

On the other hand, often the business talk is just a setup to discuss historical issues, explain how things today got the way they are, and have the characters interact with one another, often in sad ways.

DON DRAPER – As the series leading man, Draper (Jon Hamm) does horrible things, yet you usually end up feeling sorry for him.  He cheats on first wife, Betty and loses her.  He remarries second wife, Megan, an aspiring actress and at that point you’d think he has it all but he just can’t stop cheating.

You (ok let me stop saying ‘you’ because I don’t know what you think.)

I don’t approve of Don’s behavior, but the show takes us inside his mind and ever so subtly explains why he’s such a notorious philanderer, who can’t stop himself even though he actually wants to.

It’s all about life, or rather, the fact that it’s in short supply.  Don grew up in “a house of ill repute” the son of a random lady of the evening.  No one wanted him.  His life pretty much sucked.

Flash forward years later (and after some chicanery in the service that we won’t mention) he’s a big shot ad executive, raking in money hand over fist, hobnobbing with rich and powerful people.

His first wife Betty (January Jones) is beautiful and would make most men happy.  And true enough, Don loves her and his kids but – life!  It’s like there’s this little voice that tells him “It’s all going to stop any minute, better scoop up all the women you can!”

So he does.  He gives in.  Then he feels bad because the dalliances are fleeting and meaningless.  Depressed and lonely, he searches for another relationship only to ruin that when he cheats again!  He’s constantly torn between the “get as much drinking and partying and womanizing I can before I’m dead” vs. “Gee I’m lonely I sure wish my family didn’t hate me so I could spend time with them.”

Food for thought – we all say we’d never be a Don.  Keep in mind though, there are few Dons in the world.  You don’t know what you’d do if women were constantly flinging themselves at you.  In Don’s defense, it’s kind of like he just walks outside in the morning and has women rain down on him.

So that’s what I learned from Don – that we need to balance the need to live life to the fullest vs. the need to live life on a day to day basis.

BETTY DRAPER (AND LATER, FRANCIS) – Forget the history text books and documentaries, everything you need to know about the women’s right movement you can learn from watching Betty.

Betty isn’t without faults but she’s a top notch wife.  I wouldn’t mind a Betty.  When Don cheats, you, as the viewer realize the predicament 1960’s women found themselves in:

A)  They’re unemployed and have no money, so they can’t hire a lawyer.

B)  Therefore, they can get divorced if they want, but losing the man=loss of only source of financial support.

C)  Since man has the money, he’ll hire a lawyer and therefore present a better case ending up with him getting the kids (which he’ll probably just have a maid watch them because back then it was ok to just hire a random lady to watch your kid for 3 bucks an hour).

D)  Woman’s choices are 1) Remain in bad marriage, be a cheated on doormat 2) Leave, lose your kids and be destitute or

E)  3)  Find another man!  That was Betty’s only option.  She found Francis, an older man who treated her better.  Betty basically moves from being supported by Don to being supported by Francis.  He’s a better husband by far, but had he not come along she probably would have just had to put up with being cheated on till the end of time.

You heard it here first.  You can learn everything about the history women’s rights by watching Betty

PREDICTIONS (AND SPOILERS)  – Betty’s dying.  Sigh.  Has to end on a sad note.  Don, after working his whole life to finally get to the top of the ad man game, walked out of a big meeting, putting his career on the line to go on some kind of odd existential cross country road trip.

I assume this means that after Betty passes, he’ll collect his sons and raise them in his retirement, finally realizing that it’s better to put permanent family over fleeting fancy.

Then again, he might stick them in an orphanage because he’s kind of an ass.

Personally, I think they should have a flash forward to the 90’s where all the Mad Men are old as dirt, say, “Internet advertising?  That’ll never take off!” and then they all croak.

Thanks Mad Men.  It’s been interesting.

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Man Problems – Are You a Don Draper or a Louis CK?

Hello, 3.5 readers.

I’m a man.  I have problems.  Are you a woman?  Yes, I know you also have problems.  But I can only write about what I know.

There are some man problems I know all too well.  There are other man problems I know nothing about.

SPOILERS AHEAD

DON DRAPER

On one side of the spectrum, there’s Don Draper of Mad Men fame (aka Jon Hamm).

Don has problems.  He has more women than he knows what to do with.  He cheats on all of them constantly and when one of them gets fed up, another soon arrives, fully aware of the cad’s ne’er-do-well-lifestyle but willing to give it a go anyway.  Maybe she’ll be the one to change him.

In short, Don has some problems I wouldn’t mind having.

Oh AMC.  First, you fill my Sunday nights with zombies and murderous drifters.  Then, you replace them with ennui laden 1960's era ad executives.  Is there no middle ground with you?

Oh AMC. First, you fill my Sunday nights with zombies and murderous drifters. Then, you replace them with ennui laden 1960’s era ad executives. Is there no middle ground with you?

Don lives in a world I know nothing about.  In fact, though I’ve never received the memo, I’m getting a sneaking suspicion that I most likely never will.

It’s a world where Don, as recently as Sunday’s final season premiere, walks into a diner, propositions a waitress, and within seconds they are engaging in flagrante delicto in a back alley.

Not for nothing, but I’m fairly certain had I tried to pull a stunt like that, I’d be tazed and pepper sprayed unmercifully.

Oh wait, it’s the 1960’s.  She would have just cracked my skull with a rolling pin.

Don’s problems?  Which one of these women do I go out with tonight?  Which one of these women will I go out with and not tell the others about?  Which one of these women that I used to go out with do I miss and want to see again?  And how soon can I make another deal with my charm so I can grab some more money that I can use, naturally, to impress more women?  Not that I need money to get women because, hey, look at me, but the extra cash doesn’t hurt.

Of course, Don is full of inner turmoil.  He had a harsh childhood.  He grew up poor – an unwanted urchin in a house of ill repute.  When he becomes an adult,  he hits it big, gets a taste of the good life and he becomes trapped in a paradox – life is short so he feels the urge to drink and get busy as often as possible.  However, deep in his soul he realizes that no amount of cavorting can replace the love and stability of a loyal woman and along the way, he loses two wives to his bad habits.

I’m just going to throw it out there.  Toss me January Jones and I’m a happy camper.  Sorry everyone, no carousing for me.  I have to get home to January.

Yep.  Mad Men would be very boring if I were the star.

Don has problems.  I’ll never know any of them.  Stop being so depressed Don.  Trade lives me with anytime.

LOUIS CK

At the other side of the man-a-verse spectrum is…”Louis Louis Louis Louis.”  (You have to sing the theme song.)

Oh Louis.  I know many of your problems so well.  Not all of them, but many.  I truly feel your pain.

Louis, when I see the expression of utter defeat on your mug, I can feel your misery, because I make the same face a hundred times a day.  It looks like this:

I know that look.

I know that look.

Do you know what that look is called?  It is the “I’m trying as hard as I can and nothing is going my way!” look.  Defeat.  Surrender.  “OK world.  You got me.”

Poor Louis.  All he wants is to be happy and yet that long sought after emotion evades him at every turn.

And contrary to what everyone in his world thinks, it’s not for a lack of trying.

Don Draper?  Sure, he feels the occasional pang of sadness when he misses his kids, but he quickly dulls the pain with the next short skirted secretary to walk by.

Louis?  He loves his kids.  He wants to do right by them.  He only sees them a couple days a week and you can tell that weighs on him terribly – that the collapse of his marriage and the subsequent inability to not be with his children daily is a failure that haunts and suffocates him.  He holds the time he has with them sacred and doesn’t let anything interfere.

Love?  Louis wants to find it.  Do you remember Seinfeld?   That other show about a comedian?  Jerry had a bevy of beauties, a new one to be mocked or offended by Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer every week.

For the most part, Louis dates average women.  He doesn’t shoot for the stars.  You can’t accuse the guy of swinging for the fences because he’s staying in his league.  And yet, things inevitably go south for him anyway.

He takes a woman to a diner.  A group of unruly teenagers harass and threaten him.  Louis does the right thing – he lets it go.  Are insults worth getting in a physical fight over?  No.  But his date thinks less of him and won’t see him again.  It isn’t easy being a man.  Even in today’s allegedly equal, liberated, forward thinking world, a man who turns the other cheek in the face of a threat is considered a wuss.

On another date, a potential love interest informs Louis that she has children.  Stand-up guy that he is, Louis tells her not to worry – he also has kids.  Quickly, the woman turns sour and skeedaddles.  She wanted a man who would be accepting of her children but in an ironic twist, thought less of a man with kids of his own.

There’s Pam, who constantly harangues Louis with one putdown after another.  She dumps him and later tries to come back, fully expecting that Louis will welcome her with open arms.  She’s shocked to learn he’s in a relationship with Amia, as if the idea that ugly old Louis found someone else is impossible to believe.

Speaking of Amia, she’s Louis’ perfect soulmate but of course, she has to move back to her native Hungary.

Sure, occasionally a hot woman will show an interest in Louis, but even then, it doesn’t end well.  A supermodel-esque blonde in attendance at one of Louis’ shows invites the comedian back to her place.  In a freak accident, Louis unintentionally elbows her in the eye, causing her permanent damage and a hefty lawsuit that he can ill afford.

Luck is not on Louis’ side.  Have you ever heard the expression, “Anything bad that can happen will, and at the worst possible moment?”  That’s Louis’ life and I have more in common with a man like Louis than I ever will with Don “I wonder which model I’ll get jiggy with today” Draper.

Thought of as a loser by his ex-wife, a dufus by his kids, and a real mensch by his friends – Louis is that reliable guy that everyone instantly calls when they need help, but the favor is rarely returned when he needs something.  Worse, no matter how far out of his way he goes for people, they still end up looking at him like a chump.

Bald.  Paunchy.  Not very good looking at all.  Louis is the champion of defeated males everywhere – those who have resigned themselves to a fate where’d they’d be happy if a woman smiles at them.  “Well life, how much crap are you going to spoon feed me today?  Whatever.  Bring it on.  I’m ready for it.”

We Louis types are in awe of a Don Draper and fail to even comprehend how his lifestyle even exists.

We live on the same planet and yet, Louis CKs and Don Drapers live in completely different worlds.

So, what are you?  A Don Draper or a Louis CK?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that since you’re reading a book blog with 3.5 readers, you probably trend more toward Louis.

Don’t be insulted.  So do most men, even though we hate to admit it.

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New Year Resolutions

Face it.  At Christmas time, you beat yourself up pretty bad, didn’t you?  “I told myself I was going to fix X problem last year and another year has gone by!”

Yes.  Yes, it certainly has.  They always do.  Those years go by quick.

And so, with renewed vim and great vigor, we march gallantly into the New Year.

By Christmas 2015, I vow I will, in no particular order: lose weight, exercise more, take better care of myself, write my novel, become nicer to my fellow man, find my special someone, save more money, tell that jerk that’s been bothering me where to stick his/her insults, run a marathon, dress better, eat better, learn how to speak Italian, donate my time to a soup kitchen, sponsor one of those African kids they keep showing in commercials, take dancing lessons, visit another country, pick up the phone and call X relative, friend, neighbor, long lost podiatrist that I haven’t spoken to in ages and am now just afraid to because it will seem weird since so much time has gone by.  I will bake a cake, go ice fishing, kayak down the river rabbits, fight a grizzly bear single handed and skin him alive using nothing but my wits, pelting him into submission with sticks and berries.  I will go skydiving.  I will go snorkeling.  I will go parasailing. I will learn how to play the guitar, piano, ukulele, and the French horn.   I will take yoga classes and start saying things like “Namaste.” I will one-up Ebenezer Scrooge and find one starving orphan child per day, and give said child enough money to buy a goose – living or dead, it doesn’t matter what kind of goose the child gets to me, the point is, the child will be able to eat the goose, or keep it as a pet to distract himself from his hunger, whichever he so may choose to do.  I will develop mental telepathy and change the channel on my television with just a flick of the wrist, no remote control required.  I’ll develop ESP and convince others to watch ESPN.

And while we’re on the subject of television, here are some bad habits I vow to rid my life of once in for all.  I will turn my television off and never turn it on again until New Year’s 2016.  I will not watch Mad Men, Justified, Walking Dead, Reruns of Breaking Bad, Homeland, Fargo, Game of Thrones, True Detective, nor will I watch the new crap they churn out, get me addicted to, then cancel.  I will smash my Xbox with a hammer and vow to not play a video game ever this entire year.  My body will be a temple and I will be its master.  I will embrace a healthy diet.  I will not eat one item of junk food and will never visit a fast food restaurant in the entire year of 2015.  I will drink nothing but rarified mineral water from the artesian wells of Iceland, collected and bottled by actual, legitimate Icelanders and not just wannabes who move to Iceland for the swanky nightlife scene and then just try to blend in.  I will eat nothing but hummus, lettuce, carrots, and if I’m feeling crazy, I’ll allow a full blown watercress sandwich with extra cress.  I will not utter one swear word this entire year.  Anyone who offends me will not be offered a return insult but rather, a caring and concerned ear to listen to all their problems, no matter how bullshit they may be.

Why am I doing all of this?  Because it is the New Year!  I was depressed at my various Christmas social gatherings, lamenting how I vowed to do all of these things by the end of last year, and yet there I was, at Christmas 2014, still watching Mad Men and the Walking Dead, swearing at everyone, playing video games, not walking any marathons whatsoever, a Big Mac in one hand and a bottle of Norwegian Ice Water in the other.  I hadn’t bought a single orphan a livestock bird that they could either eat or keep as a pet.  I hadn’t touched a single vat of hummus the entire year.  Italian people were coming up to me at the Christmas party left and right and I was completely clueless as to what in the hell they were saying.  My long lost podiatrist was still left with the feeling that I didn’t give a shit about him.  I had yet to learn Mental Telepathy, my guitar, ukulele, and French horn were collecting dust in a corner, and that African kid was still unsponsored, despite all the coffee I drank like a selfish imbecile, any one of those cups of coffees could have been used to purchase vital medicines and care packages for said starving child.  And you want to know the real coup de grace?  That guy who’s a real jerk that I never told off?  He and the grizzly bear were openly mocking me the entire Christmas party.

But there will be no more of that crap this year!  For I, the Bookshelf Battler, a book scholar, renowned all over the world and some parts of Mars, depending on their satellite receptions, truly understand the power of a New Year!  New Year’s Day is a momentous time, a time when the disappointments of the previous year are still fresh, and yet there is still hope for the new year, the hope that I can look at the calendar, and there will be 365 fresh days that I can start putting to good use, with the hope that by the 2015 Christmas party my colon will be a hummus lined picture of good health, that entire flocks of geese will be donated to orphans, and maybe even to African kids if they’ll accept them and allow me to keep my coffee money, that I will wow everyone at the next Christmas party by playing the ukulele while making all the Christmas ornaments dance with my mental telepathy skills.  I will not attend the Christmas party alone, but rather, with the supermodel I will convince to go with me using my newfound powers of ESP.  When people at the 2015 Christmas party ask me, “Can you believe what Don Draper did?”  I will say, “Hey, no spoilers pal!”  If I can’t find the bathroom, I’ll go up to the closest Italian person and ask, “D’ove il bagno?”  What?  Did I just run, “Where is the bathroom through Google Translate?”  No, you dirty son of a…no, wait, hey, come here, what’s the matter?  Tell me all your problems.  I’m sure they are all legitimate and not made up at all.

Yes, at that Christmas party at the end of this year, I will wow the attendees with pictures of my skydiving, paralleling, snorkeling trip – where I did all three at the same time by jumping out of a plane, falling to just above the Earth, where I then lassoed a boat, allowed it to pull me for a while, then cut anchor, and swam three miles with the fish off the coast of Capastrano.

AND AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I WILL DO IT ALL IN MY NEW BEAR SKIN COAT.

Yes, I know this will all happen, because 2014 is not only gone, but it was a tremendous disappointment.  I will not make the same mistakes.  I will not fall back into the same bad habits.  This will be the year that I spend each and every day doing the right thing and making the exactly correct decisions because gosh darn it, I now have FINALLY learned the lesson that the next year will be over in the blink of an eye, so I’d best make the most of it, so that I am not depressed at the 2015 Christmas party.

What?  It’s Jan. 2 already?  Fuck it.  Somebody get me a Big Mac.  Well played, Bear.  Well played.

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