Tag Archives: writers

Nov 17 2016
Leave a comment
Writing Prompts

BQB’s Book Cover Design Contest

By: Special Guest Blogger Video Game Rack Fighter

shutterstock_71046703

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB is passed the hell out on the floor for the moment, so I’ll fill you in.

As you are all aware, our favorite resident yeti fighter does not like to part with money.

But he finally did it. He put up some dough to get a 99Designs contest going.

That’s right. He’s going to publish a book of writing prompts.

In fact, before his face hit the floor, he told me that the title will be, “Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts: 101 Scintillating Scenarios to Stimulate Your Cranial Excretions.”

Sigh. Don’t tell him I said this but the only thing it will stimulate is a one-way ticket to Amazon’s virtual 99 cent bin.

Did I say that? No. I’m the ever supportive VGRF and what I meant to say was that this will probably be the boot in the ass he needs to get him going.

Once he sets up an author profile and has something to offer as an author, we can only hope that he will continue to work to get an actual novel out there so the Mighty Potentate won’t vaporize us all into the stone age.

No pressure, BQB.

At any rate, 3.5 readers, I figure the guy must love you all, because he actually opened up his wallet.

HE NEVER OPENS HIS WALLET.

No joke, whenever we go out on a date he’ll take me to Mighty Burger and offer to degrease the grease traps just to avoid paying for my choice off the dollar menu.

So in other words, he really loves you guys since he was so willing to part with money, an act which has made him pass out.

I can only hope he will wake up soon so the yeti will stop resting his hairy feet on him as if he were some kind of nerd shaped Ottoman.

I suppose I could stop that furry freak but unlike BQB, I am not a champion yeti fighter.

Results are expected in a week and if BQB doesn’t like any of the designs he can say no thanks.

But be ready to help him choose one.

Take care, 3.5

P.S. in the meantime, take a look at his writing prompts and tell him what you think.

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,
Nov 15 2016
Leave a comment
Mighty Potentate Transmissions

Mighty Potentate Transmission #1

STAND BY FOR A TRANSMISSION FROM THE MIGHTY POTENTATE, SUPREME INTERSTELLAR OVERLORD AND ALSO NOT A SHABBY DANCER

3…2…1…ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY POTENTATE!

shutterstock_135453842

Greetings pitiful humans.

The Mighty Potentate here, once again confirming the existence of alien life, though I’m not worried any of you will catch on as only 3.5 of you read this blog.

Frankly, that’s what I’m hear to talk about.

Still not a big fan of all the reality television that your incompetent ass rock of a planet has been beaming out into the cosmos, 3.5 readers.

Why, just the other day I turned on my space television in the hopes of finding a decent scripted show only to find the following reality based drivel instead:

  • Who Wants to Win a Colonoscopy? – The gist is exactly as it sounds. Competitors fight for the right to have the inner workings of their hiney canals broadcast on television. Is there no level you dim bulbs will stoop to for fame?
  • Cat Hoarders – Like the regular Hoarders show but the guests hoard cats.  Cats under the beds, cats in the closets, cats in the walls, cats everywhere. So many cats.
  • Intervention Intervention – Literally, a show about interventions for people who are addicted to holding interventions. How has your species survived this long?

3.5 readers, I grow concerned that I might actually have to invade your dumb planet just to stop the spread of your insipid reality television.

First, another year is about to end and Bookshelf Q. Battler has yet to publish a novel.  I still maintain that he is the chosen one and that he will one day write a novel so well written that you will all abandon reality television and favor scripted media instead.

Second, has anyone heard from Alien Jones? I heard a rumor that your greatest earth country has elected a reality TV star as its potentate but I haven’t been able to confirm it and Jones has not been returning my calls since last Tuesday.

It’s like that little green weirdo is trying to avoid me for some reason. Strange.

Anyway, 3.5 readers, continue to slap BQB around and urge him to keep writing his novels so that reality television can be abandoned and your pitiful planet can be saved.

Potentate out.

END OF TRANSMISSION.

Tagged , , , ,
Nov 10 2016
Leave a comment
Writing Prompts

About BQB’s Writing Prompts

Hey 3.5 readers.

So I’m thinking I might start small.

I’m going to write 101 writing prompts i.e. scenarios designed to help aspiring writers get their brains going.  Read them then be inspired to start writing.

My theory is this will be a short, easy book.  Easy to format. It’ll help me learn how to get a book together and get it up and out on Amazon.

Obviously I don’t expect it to be a major hit so I’ll charge the bare minimum and by the end of it I will have learned about getting a book out there and maybe increase a little bit of traffic to this fine website.

So check out those writing prompts and let me know what you think.

Tagged , ,
Nov 01 2016
3 Comments
Self Publishing, Uncategorized

NaNoWriMo 2016

Halloween is over, 3.5 readers.

I know. It is such a fun time for the Bookshelf Battle Blog.

But Count Krakovich and Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian must retire to their respective lairs.

November 1. It is now National Novel Writing Month.

Are you participating?

Feel free to tell your resident nerd all about it.

Tagged , , , ,
Oct 30 2016
Leave a comment
#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 30- J.M.Wilde – Australia Zombified

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_226147114

“And now, the end is near, we’ve reached, the final curtain…”

I’m telling you, 3.5 readers, Frank Sinatra was awesome and he’s even a better singer as a zombie.  Took in his act at Zombie Vegas the other day.

But I digress. Yes, there is only one more day after today left in #31ZombieAuthors Rewind.

If there are any zombie authors out there that you’d love for BQB to interview at a future date, discuss them in the comments and perhaps our resident nerd will conduct a Q and A via Alien Jones’ space phone.

In the meantime, last year BQB had the distinct pleasure of interviewing one of Australia’s greatest nerds, zombie writer J.M. Wilde of the Eva series.

J.M. talked to BQB about zombies down under and how to develop your following on Wattpad as J.M. is indeed a Wattpad star.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out the Eva series on Amazon.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Oct 29 2016
Leave a comment
#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 29 – Zombie Dinosaurs!

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_226147111-copy

Roar, 3.5 readers.

Roar indeed.

Dinsoaurs.  Zombies? DINOSAUR ZOMBIES!

That’s right. Last year BQB interviewed Rick Chesler and David Sakmyster, co-auhtors of Jurassic Dead, the totally badass book series that combines prehistoric lizards and the undead.

BQB was blown away by this awesome concept and one year later, he maintains it is a travesty of justice that this book has not been made into a movie yet.

“Who the hell greenlit all that Zach Galifinakis horse manure when there’s a perfectly good book series about zombasaurs aching to be made?” BQB was heard to say.

Check out BQB’s interview with the dino-tastic duo here.

And don’t forget to check out Jurassic Dead, now available on Amazon.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
Oct 25 2016
Leave a comment
#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 25 – Luke Duffy – Zombie Warfare

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_226147111-copy

Luke Duffy.  A soldier who has found time to be awesome and write.

BQB has found time to do neither!

Check out BQB’s interview with Luke Duffy here.

And don’t forget to check out Luke’s Amazon author page.

Tagged , , , ,
Oct 24 2016
3 Comments
Writing

30,005 Visitors

Hey 3.5 readers.

I was feeling bummed today.

Back from my nice vacation, time to go back to my regular, hum drum life as the Assistant to the Assistant of the Vice President of Corporate Assistance at Beige Corp, the World’s Premiere Producer of Beige Products and Accessories, feeling a little down in the dumps, i.e. realizing it is unlikely I’ll ever visit a big city like NYC ever again except as a tourist…i.e. I’ll never be there to sign on with a publishing agent or to close a book deal or to go to a book signing of my book or something.

Then I saw this:

screen-shot-2016-10-23-at-11-56-48-pm

See that visitor counter?

30,005 visitors?

Or could that number be considered…”30,005 visitors?”

On a numerical scale, seems in keeping with “3.5 readers.”

I could have clicked on this any time. I clicked on it exactly when it said 30,005.

Is it a sign?

I honestly don’t know.

When I was young, I could have chosen the risky path of going balls out toward a writing career or the safe, hum drum path.

I chose to play it safe but in retrospect, I wish I’d chosen risky.

It was so easy to play it safe when I was young. “Plenty of time left. Just be safe a few more years and then you’ll be able to be risky.”

Sigh.  Now I’m too old to be risky.  The world wouldn’t even let me be risky if I wanted to. Risky opportunities are only passed out to the young.

I get my hopes up too much I guess.  My brain and my body keep quoting Eminem, telling me to learn to live “down here” but my heart keeps crying out, “No, live up here!”

I don’t know.  These books take time. I suppose I’m too down in the dumps to be all like, “this means I’m going to make it as a writer!” but at any rate, it was neat to see 30,005 readers.

That’s in almost 3 years.  You might say 30,005 readers in 2.5 years.

I really need 30,005 readers a day.

Also, I have a theory that the 30,005 visitors are just my 3.5 readers clicking on the site 30,005 times.

I’m sorry to be such a bummer, 3.5 readers.

If you like what you see here, keep reading and keep trying to become more than 3.5 readers.

Tagged , ,
Oct 23 2016
Leave a comment
#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Peter Cawdron – Outsmarting Zombies

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_226147147

Zombies.

They’re so dumb.

Or are they?

Last year, BQB talked to Peter Cawdron about outsmarting zombies.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out Peter’s latest sci-fi adventure, Mars Endeavor, now on Amazon.

Tagged , , , , ,
Oct 19 2016
Leave a comment
#31ZombieAuthors

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 19 – Eric A. Shelman – It’s Never Too Late

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_223600957

Eric Shelman spent a long time getting his writing career off the ground.

He wrote. He shelved his work. Finally, he saw other writers doing well by utilizing the Internet and boom, he was in business.

Last year, BQB talked to Eric about zombies and the world of self-publishing.

Read that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out Eric’s Dead Hunger series on Amazon.

Tagged , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →