If you have someone, enjoy the day.
If you’re single, you can go to Dairy Queen and ask for a Free Singles Blizzard. (Article in Fortune Magazine.)
I mean, if you’re not so prideful that you feel like going up to a teenage minimum wage slave and asking for a free ice cream treat to help dull the crippling pain of your seemingly endless loneliness isn’t beneath you and all.
I’m sure this promotion wasn’t created by a beautiful person or anything.
ATTRACTIVE AD EXEC 1 – Let’s give free ice cream to the lonely people on Valentine’s Day!
ATTRACTIVE AD EXEC 2 – Great idea! Ugly people love ice cream and they love deals that require them to admit that they’re single on the most romantic day of the year in order to stuff free food in their face holes!
If you’re in love, celebrate right.
If not, better luck next year and remember, you’re always loved as a member of BQB’s 3.5 readers club. Why do you need a soulmate when you’ve got free ice cream and an independently published blog to read? Seriously. Stop being selfish.
Bookshelf Battle 
Hey, perspective. I’ve got a soulmate, or something like that, and he’s upstairs in his nerdcave reading all the coverage he can find of the death of Antonin Scalia.
Although perspective on perspective is that he promised me a pot of onion soup for Valentine’s Day dinner. I think Star Trek is going to be involved later.
Onion soup? Sheesh there’s no kissing going on after that…
Sez you. After all we’re both eating it. Just think, onions slow-braised till they’re sweating caramelized sugars and drowned in Chardonnay… toasted bits of baguette and Basque cheese broiled on top… I recommend it to anyone who’s looking to get lucky. Light, see, it doesn’t weigh you down.