Few may be aware of this, but practitioners of kung fu have developed a myriad of astounding sexual moves over the years. The downward spiraling lotus blossom, the menacing cat, the playful otter, the bombastic jackal, the miraculous crow, the three-legged badger, the twitchy nosed rabbit, the luxurious ginger root twist, the drunken eel, the lazy walrus, the fastidious cobra – Junjie and Mei-Ling had worn out their repertoire and were snuggled up, sleeping soundly when the sounds of battle woke them.
They sprang out of bed and looked out the window to see their fellow disciples being chomped upon by members of the brain bite clan.
“This…this cannot be!” Junjie said.
The lovers dressed. Mei-Ling pulled a pair of nunchucks off of her wall, tossed them to Junjie, then grabbed a sword. The duo raced down the hallway, stepping over the brainless corpses the master had left behind just moments earlier.
“No, no, no, no…” Junjie repeated over and over.
Once outside, the carnage overwhelmed their senses.
Zombies and humans were locked in kung fu combat. A beast ran toward Mei-Ling, who defended herself with a slash across the monster’s chest. The undead warrior was unfazed, even when Mei-Ling hacked off his arm.
Meanwhile, Junjie was fending off a wave of zombified marauders with a barrage of non-stop nunchuck slaps. The handsome hero was astounded, as he’d seen humans get knocked out by strikes backed up by less power before.
“Step aside,” a voice commanded.
The zombies obeyed. Bohai pushed his way through the undead horde.
“Bohai?” Junjie asked as he squinted at his friend’s blank eyes.
“Hello brother,” Bohai said to Junjie, and then to Mei-Ling, “Sister.”
“Are you all right?” Junjie asked.
“Better than ever,” Bohai said as he struck a fighting stance. “And ready for my rematch.”