Daily Archives: December 29, 2016

Daily Discussion with BQB – What Can We Learn From Buddhism?

If I’m understanding Buddhism correctly, and I probably am not, life and in particular, all of the material and greedy pursuits that we tend to seek are fleeting and impermanent, therefore they can never make us truly happy so we should either stop chasing them or if we do chase them we should not feel bad if we fail because had we succeeded we were eventually going to lose whatever it was that we were pursuing anyway.

The big house, the fancy car, the supermodel girlfriend with the giant fake boobs – these will all be lost sooner or later so rather than beat yourself up for not achieving them, focus on calmness of mind and spirit and meditate.

If your mind starts to dwell on mistakes you made in the past, mistakes you made that cause you to hate yourself because you feel they prevented you from getting the big house, the fancy car and the girlfriend with the big fake boobs, then close your eyes and mediate.  Focus on your breathing, focus your mind on thinking about nothing, repeat a mantra and chant it over and over again, essentially distract your mind.  You will only feel bad if you keep rehashing all of your failures in your mind.  Focus instead on meditation.

It’s basically like those shirts – “Keep calm and…”  Well, instead of “and drink beer” or whatever, it’s “Keep Calm and Meditate.”

Anyway, I’m sure there are better buddhists out there who could explain this better.  I tend to research subjects related to novels I am working on at the moment so don’t mind me, I’ll be researching something else in the next five minutes.

Also, in theory, I feel like the girlfriend with the big fake boobs would be a calming influence but only if you could have access to the big fake boobs without the ensuing problems that go with them but let’s keep it real.  She’d probably bring a lot of drama into your life, want all your money, leave you broke, cheat on you with the pool boy and so on.

Until they invent robot girlfriends with big fake boobs, meditation may be our only hope for staying calm.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Zom Fu – Chapter 17

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Few may be aware of this, but practitioners of kung fu have developed a myriad of astounding sexual moves over the years. The downward spiraling lotus blossom, the menacing cat, the playful otter, the bombastic jackal, the miraculous crow, the three-legged badger, the twitchy nosed rabbit, the luxurious ginger root twist, the drunken eel, the lazy walrus, the fastidious cobra – Junjie and Mei-Ling had worn out their repertoire and were snuggled up, sleeping soundly when the sounds of battle woke them.

They sprang out of bed and looked out the window to see their fellow disciples being chomped upon by members of the brain bite clan.

“This…this cannot be!” Junjie said.

The lovers dressed. Mei-Ling pulled a pair of nunchucks off of her wall, tossed them to Junjie, then grabbed a sword. The duo raced down the hallway, stepping over the brainless corpses the master had left behind just moments earlier.

“No, no, no, no…” Junjie repeated over and over.

Once outside, the carnage overwhelmed their senses.

Zombies and humans were locked in kung fu combat. A beast ran toward Mei-Ling, who defended herself with a slash across the monster’s chest. The undead warrior was unfazed, even when Mei-Ling hacked off his arm.

Meanwhile, Junjie was fending off a wave of zombified marauders with a barrage of non-stop nunchuck slaps. The handsome hero was astounded, as he’d seen humans get knocked out by strikes backed up by less power before.

“Step aside,” a voice commanded.

The zombies obeyed. Bohai pushed his way through the undead horde.

“Bohai?” Junjie asked as he squinted at his friend’s blank eyes.

“Hello brother,” Bohai said to Junjie, and then to Mei-Ling, “Sister.”

“Are you all right?” Junjie asked.

“Better than ever,” Bohai said as he struck a fighting stance. “And ready for my rematch.”

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