Daily Archives: January 3, 2017

BQB Reviews an iWatch

Ugh.  Tim Cook gets more of my money.

BQB here with a review of an iWatch.

Let me break it down between pros and cons:

PROS:

  • It’s a conversation starter.  I’m uglier than Gollum at low tide but if you’re not, you could get one of these, start chatting up a babe at a party and I wouldn’t be all like, “Check out my iWatch baby!” but chances are she might notice it and ask about it and then you can show her how it works and get her to touch your hand and shit.  Then again, if you’re that hard up, you could just use the money you’d spend on the watch on a prostitute, though my lawyer advises me to remind you that I do not condone prostitution or prostitutional patronage.  (This is probably the only iWatch review on the Internet that mentions prostitutes, so go me).
  • It’s got an activity app which tracks your activity, thus encouraging you to take more steps, stand up more, and exercise more.
  • It’s got an optional Mickey Mouse face.

CONS:

  • There’s not much it can do that your iPhone can’t.  Actually, you do need an iPhone to be able to use it.  And ultimately, all it really does is act as a fancy remote control for your iPhone.  So yes, the Activities app is great but if you’re so lazy that you’d rather look at your wrist then reach your hand into your f%$king pocket then you probably don’t care about your activity levels anyway.
  • Though the activity app is great, you could get a FitBit or something like that at a cheaper price.

CONCLUSIONS:

It’s up to you.  I’m a tech nerd so I’m into this stuff.  If you’re not into it, you can surely live without it.

Dick Tracy’s dream is here but alas, technology made Dick Tracy’s dream obsolete long ago.

Excuse me while I go try to impress Video Game Rack Fighter with my iWatch.

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