Toilet Gator – Chapter 94


With the rope still firmly secured around his waist, Cole walked through the bathroom, checking under all the stalls to make sure no one was around. Seeing no one, he entered the spacious handicapped stall and popped a bluetooth headset into his ear. He pressed a button and waited a few seconds.

“Can everybody here me?” Cole asked.

“Yup,” Sharon said. “Setting up the conference call now and…it’s on.”

“Mister Walker?” Professor Lambert asked.

“Hell, Professor, just call me Cole.”

“Very well,” the Professor said. “Cole, I just want to thank you for what you are about to do. I have studied toilet gators my entire life but never had the courage to confront one and alas, I would not be much help to you on the ground. I will, however, be monitoring Miss Brock’s coverage from my office and will be available for any advice you may need.”

“Roger that,” Cole said.

Natalie Brock came on the line. “Thank you for this exclusive, Cole. Walter and I will do our best to stay out of your way.”

“Appreciated,” Cole said. “Maude, you and Burt there?”

“Hoowee!” Maude said. “We got a great big convoy!”

“Sounds like you’re having too much fun, Maude,” Cole said. “Stay sharp, OK?”

“Don’t tell me what to do, sweet britches,” Maude replied.

“Moses?” Cole asked.

Dead silence.

“Moses, you there?” Cole asked.

More silence.

“Shit,” Cole said. “Anyone have eyes on Moses?”

“I haven’t seen him since this morning,” Rusty said.

“Felix?” Cole asked.


“Damn it, Felix, can you make a sound or something?”

“Errm,” Felix said.

“Is Moses with you?” Cole asked.

“Errm?” Felix said in a quizzical manner.

“Oh for the love of,” Cole said. “Felix, have you got the Javelin?”

“Errm,” Felix said.

“Is that, ‘Errm yes’ or ‘Errm no’?” Cole asked.

“Errm,” Felix said.

Cole slapped his head. “OK, Felix, one errm for yes, two errms for no, got it?”

“Errm,” Felix said.

“Is Moses with you?” Cole asked.

There was a brief delay before Felix finally answered, “Errm, errm.”

“Do you know where he want?” Cole asked.

“Errm, errm,” Felix replied.

“Do you have the Javelin?” Cole asked.

“Errm,” Felix said.

Sharon intervened. “I don’t like the sound of this. Maybe we should abort.”

“No,” Cole said. “Felix, do you know how to use that thing?”

“Errm,” Felix said.

“Screw it then,” Cole said.

“But Moses,” Sharon said. “He should be…”

“I have no idea,” Cole said. “Maybe he went and got a beer or found another man to hug or something.”

“Not funny,” Rusty said.

“The mission proceeds as planned, people,” Cole said. “Everyone to their positions.”

Cole lifted his left leg up, then plunged it deep into the wet toilet bowl. He winced as he felt the cold water seep into his sock.

“Damn it,” Cole said.

“Everything ok?” Sharon asked.

“Yeah,” Cole said. “Just, these are my best shoes.”

“We’ll get you another pair, baby,” Sharon said.

“I know,” Cole said.

“We’ll do a lot of things when this is over,” Sharon said.

“I know,” Cole said.

Rusty made a series of gagging sounds.

“Shut up, Rusty,” Cole said.

Cole pulled the Angry Barracuda out of a holster that had been attached to his belt, then closed his eyes and took a deep breathe. “Here, gator, gator, gator…”

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