Author Archives: bookshelfbattle

Dec 13 2018
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Movies

What Can Shaun of the Dead Teach Us About Leadership and Growing Up?

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

It’s funny how you can watch a movie when you’re young and when you’re older and get a different experience.  When I saw this movie when I was young, I thought it was a funny spoof on zombie flicks.  Now that I’m older, it’s still that, but much more.

Shaun (Simon Pegg) is 29, approaching 30 and is seen by everyone, even himself, as a big loser.  He’s a clerk at an electronics store and his teenage employees laugh at him.  His step-father has zero respect for him.  His flat mate thinks his buddy, Ed, (Nick Frost) is dragging him down.

Worse, his girlfriend, Liz (Kate Ashfield) feels she’s wasting her life dating Shaun.  She yearns for a better life and is tired of going on the same date to Shaun’s favorite dive bar, the Winchester.  When Shaun fails an ultimatum to take her anywhere else by forgetting to make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, she calls it quits.

Like a zombie, Shaun is shuffling through life, allowing life to live him instead of vice versa.  Rather than create a plan and work and through, he takes what he gets and dulls the pain with booze and hanging out with Ed.

Now, here’s where it gets complicated.  I think an argument can be made that Shaun is actually the only respectable one in the entire film.

Sometimes excellence doesn’t come from within but from opportunity.  Without the Civil War, Abe Lincoln might have been a mediocre president.  Though I’m not comparing Shaun to the Great Emancipator, we see Shaun kick ass and take names in the zombie apocalypse.

Here’s the thing. As a society, we’ve become programmed to think that success=perfection.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Success comes from showing up.

Shaun takes charge of a group of survivors comprised of his friends and family.  Everyone follows Shaun but as he makes mistakes, they don’t give him any leeway.  His stepdad repeatedly dumps on him.  Liz’s friend Dave routinely craps on him.

This is a show don’t tell thing.  What I noticed is that at no time do any of the naysayers stand up and take control of the group.  They all want to complain but none of them actually vocalize anything they’d do better.  No one tells Shaun to stand down so they can take charge.  This unfortunately happens a lot in life. People are happy to dump on the decision makers but they don’t want to make decisions themselves.

Call Shaun a loser, but a he always showed up.  He showed up every day to a job he hated.  He kept caring for friend Ed even though everyone told him to cut him loose.  He kept dating Liz even though she complains Shaun is holding her back, as if Shaun is somehow keeping her from going to school, seeking a new job, going on a vacation or doing something to improve her life.

All we can do is show up.  Maybe we’ll be lucky.  Maybe we won’t.  But we only fail when we stop showing up.

We don’t get too see too far into Shaun and Liz’s future, other than at the end of the movie (spoiler alert) they’re happy and Shaun acts like a man who is a bit more sure of himself.  Does he get a better job or always remember to make dinner reservations, I don’t know.  But he shows up.

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Dec 13 2018
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In Case You Missed It..., Uncategorized

In Case You Missed It – Stuff You Shouldn’t Buy Your Girlfriend for Christmas

Hey 3.5 readers.  I know, if you are reading this blog you are probably single but if you ever do get a girlfriend, here is some stuff you should not buy her for Christmas.

Female readers, let me know if I am right.  Do you want any of this stuff for Christmas?

 

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Dec 11 2018
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Self Publishing

Check Out Lee Hall’s The Teleporter

Hey 3.5 readers.  Please cast all 7 of your eyes on Lee Hall’s “The Teleporter” on Amazon:

Full disclosure, Lee wrote a nice review of the first episode of my series, “The Last Driver,” so I’m trying to return the favor here.  That being said, a book about a drunk with the power to teleport sounds like a funny premise to me.  I’m sober myself, but I’d love the power to teleport.  Wouldn’t it be great to go wherever you want, whenever you want and not have to get on a plane or get bogged down with all the traveling and pay all that money on plane tickets and so forth?

Check it out today and if you like it, give our British buddy a nice review!

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Dec 09 2018
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Is Comedy Dying?

Is Comedy Dying? – Kevin Hart Out as Oscars Host

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

I weep for the future of comedy.

Several years ago, comedian Kevin Hart wrote a tweet, the gist of which was if he ever saw his son playing with his daughter’s doll house, he’d shout, “That’s gay!” and then break the doll house over the boy’s head.

My two cents?  Comedy is like gymnastics.  Imagine yourself as one of those tiny Russian gymnasts at the Olympics.  You could push yourself to leap in the air, do seven airborne backflips and land into a rolling somersault.  Maybe you’ll pull it off and get the gold and the accolades, or you might mess up a complicated move and end up with a broken foot.

Similarly, comedy can be hit or miss.  If you’re going to break taboos and push lines, the joke should be outstandingly funny, so humorous that it brings a begrudging smile to the face of even the most dour of school-marmish scolds.  Otherwise, the risk that you just end up looking like an asshat instead of a clever joke-smith is too great.

This joke was only so-so.  People need to grasp the context.  The joke isn’t on the son, it’s on the father.  Hart was making fun of his own sense of manliness, his own insecurities, his own insane fears that the slightest showing of a softer side can turn someone homosexual.

Imagine if this joke hadn’t been in a tweet but rather a sitcom.  Kevin is a typical dumb sitcom dad.  He comes home from work, sees his son playing with his daughter’s dollhouse.  Close up on a freaked out look on Kevin’s face.  Close up on Kevin as he looks off in the distance, imagining what this could lead to.  Cut to grown up son performing as a drag queen, accepting “Best Drag Queen of the Year Award,” and he says, “Thanks for the doll house, Dad!”

Cut to Kevin freaking out and like the Incredible Hulk, he smashes the house into a thousand pieces.  The daughter cries.  The son says, “Dad, what the hell, man?  I was pretending that doll house was Cobra Commander’s secret base and I was attacking it with my GI Joes!” (or whatever today’s equivalent toy is.)

Enter mom, livid that she has married such a buffoon.  Cut to Kevin staying up all night gluing all the pieces of the doll house back together.

I don’t know.  I get some of the backlash to the tweet.  It wasn’t the best joke and it comes across as mean spirited to gay people.  As a society, we’re trying to get parents to accept their kids as they are instead of trying to mold them into something they don’t want to or can’t be.

But at any rate, I think Kevin was just making fun of himself.

I’ve never thought Kevin was a great comedian or a terrible comedian.  He was somewhere in the middle.  He plugs along.  A ham and egger.  But one thing I give him credit for is he is one of the few comedians left who TRIES to be funny.  He tries to think up funny situations for his acts and movies and rarely delves into politics but rather is into the humor for humor’s sake.

Meanwhile, and look I don’t care if you love Trump or hate Trump, but mainstream comedy has basically gone from actual comedy to this oddball world of people just standing up, saying something to the effect of, “Orange man bad!” and then cue the canned audience laugh track.

On top of that, why is Kevin being singled out?  Alec Baldwin was arrested and he’s still on SNL. Jimmy Kimmel once appeared in blackface.  He was still allowed to host the Oscars.  Sarah Silverman once appeared in blackface.  She’s still allowed to do voices in Disney movies.  Overall, I’ve enjoyed Family Guy and have looked at Seth MacFarlane as an example of someone who made it in Hollywood by sticking to it and pushing himself, but there have been some times where I’ve watched that show and been like, “Wow, this is going way too far” and then I’d change the channel.  And he was allowed to host.

I don’t know.  Just seems like there should be one standard.  Why are we combing JUST through Kevin Hart’s past?  Either the rule is that anyone who hosts the Oscars must be as clean as a whistle, or some past transgressions are ok as long as they aren’t doing it now….but to hold Kevin Hart to one standard and others to another is lame.

Oh well.  Who cares?  No one watches the Oscars anyway.

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Dec 05 2018
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TV

TV Review – House of Cards – Season 6

As they say in Gaffney, all good things come to an end.

BQB here with a review of “House of Cards.”

You know, 3.5 readers.  There ought to be a rule.  Call it “The Spacey Rule.”  If you’re an actor about to take a role in a compelling TV series that hinges on that role, you should not have allegations of pervery against you.

Spacey’s character, Francis Underwood, a ruthless, cunning politician who bargained, bribed, bought, cajoled, sweet talked, murdered, screwed (literally and figuratively) and worse, convinced many of his victims to do themselves in, was crucial to the series.

Indeed, Claire (Robin Wright Penn) was his partner-in-crime and before Spacey’s alleged pervery was made public, it looked like the show was heading toward an eventual showdown where the President and First Lady would duke it out.

Thus, the writers were boxed in with this last season.  No season without Francis was going to feel satisfying and yet, to not provide some kind of ending would be a letdown as well.

At the beginning of this final season, Claire is in the first 100 days of her presidency.  Diane Lane and Greg Kinnear play a brother/sister team of wealthy business moguls who apparently were bankrolling the Underwoods and expecting favors in return, though this is the first we’ve heard of them.

Francis is dead, ostensibly due to an overdose of prescription medication, though true accidents without someone at fault rarely, if ever, happen on this show, unless some sort of nefarious evildoer wants it to seem that way.

Claire has learned the art of underhanded politics from the master himself and now free of her husband, she wants to make one last series of weaselly doings to secure her power, push out her enemies and, one might assume, make the world a better place?

Her foil is Doug Stamper, Francis’ longtime henchman.  Claire wants to throw Francis’ reputation under the bus to save herself.  Doug wants to save Francis’ legacy.

Claire, the bro/sis team and Doug go all in on a battle royale and indeed, there is a victor but I won’t spoil it for you.

Suffice to say, imagine if you were invited to a fancy dinner at a friend’s house.  You were promised that if you work your way through five courses, each more tasty than the last, you’d eventually get to that final sixth course that would make your toes curl and your taste buds scream out in orgasmic delight.

Then, alas, your friend comes out and says, “Hey, I’m so sorry, my head chef just got fired due to allegations of pervery so I’m not able to serve you that sixth course you long waited for but hey, here is a tasty bag of Funions.”

Sure, you’ll eat the Funions.  You’ll enjoy the Funions but…you’ll always wish that head chef had kept it in his pants so he could have stuck around to make that final filet mignon.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  The writers made the best out of a bad situation and ultimately, Spacey is the one to blame but it’s hard not to think about how satisfying a final Francis-centric season would have been and sigh a sad, defeated sigh.

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Dec 01 2018
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Tomfoolery

Baby, It’s Cold Outside – Super Politically Correct Modern Version

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HER: I really can’t stay.

HIM: That’s cool, you’re free to leave at anytime.  You’re a strong, independent woman in charge of your own agency, capable of making her own decisions and if remaining here is not your wish then I bid you adieu.

HER: I’ve got to go away.

HIM: No problem.  There’s the door.  Right there.  Good evening.  Drive safely.

HER: This evening has been…

HIM: I’m sorry, but I see you’re lingering.  Would you mind signing this memorandum indicating that you remained on the premises even though I distinctly said you were free to leave and I in no way impeded your exit?

HER: …so very nice.

HIM:  Don’t mind me.  I’m just going pull out my phone so I can stream us on Facebook live and, ok, here we are.  Hello, everyone.  Shout out to all my followers.  I just want to show the world that I’m being a total gentleman and I am not keeping this strong, independent woman from leaving.  See?  Right there’s the door.  Nothing is blocking it.  I’m all the way over here.  She’s free to go whenever she chooses.

HER: I ought to say, “No, no, no, sir!”

HIM: You have and I respect that.  Just a reminder you are more than welcome to walk out the front door and I will not interfere in any way.

HER: At least I’m going to say that I tried.

HIM: Yes, and as loudly as possible I am telling all 257 of my Facebook friends that I am trying to make sure that you are aware you are free to vamoose.

HER: My mother will start to worry.

HIM: Hold on, I’m going to get on my landline because I’m one of the last few people ot have one of those and I’m calling your mom and, “Hello Her’s Mother how are you? Him here.  Say, just wanted to clue you in on the situation. Her is fine. Totes fine. She’s here. I’m being totally respectful and I would never keep her here against her will.”

HER: My father will be pacing the floor.

HIM: You know, it dawns on me that maybe you aren’t leaving because you don’t have cab fare.  Now, please don’t take that the wrong way. I understand you are a very powerful, strong, independent woman who earns her own living and doesn’t need a man to pay her way but please, my treat, let me call you an Uber on my account and we’ll have the driver take you home or anywhere you want to go.  By the way, I will also pay a private detective to run a full background check on the driver and I will hire two armed guards to accompany you in case anyone tries to touch you during your ride.

HER: My sister will be suspicious.

HIM: Nope, she’s fine.  Hi, sis!  Thanks for friending me.  See?  Your sister’s A-OK. Hey I’m just going to step outside myself and I don’t even care if there’s 6 feet snowdrifts out here I’m just going to step out here on the front porch and, ah, that’s better! There we go! Now you’re safe in the house, and I’m out here so as to avoid the appearance of impropriety.  No one can say anything unsavory happened if you’re in there and I’m out here.  See that, Facebook? Everything’s totally legit.

HER: My brother will be pacing the floor.

HIM: I’m just going to send my carrier pigeon to your brother with a note in his beak informing him that you’re fine and if he or any of your other family or friends would like to come over and verify that you’re OK, they are welcome to come here and do so.  Away you go, pigeon! In the meantime, I will keep speaking to you through the open door but I will remain outside in these arctic conditions so that you remain safe.

HER: Your welcome has been…

HIM: Oh thank god, it’s a police officer out on patrol! Officer!  Yoo hoo!  Would you be a pal and stand next to me to verify that I am not doing anything to harm this strong, independent female and Her, just an FYI if you feel unsafe I’m sure this officer would be willing to escort you past me just, again, to be on the safe side.  You can never be too careful.

HER: …so nice and warm.

HIM:  Shit!  She won’t leave.  Let me get on the phone again.  Hello?  Ajax Public Relations Firm?  Look, there’s going to be a huge story about me tomorrow and we need to get ahead of it ASAP.  Cancel all your business. I’m putting you on retainer because it is going to be blasted all over the inter webs and I’ll need your full staff ready and waiting to field press inquiries 24/7. I want to tell you right up front I did not lay a hand on this strong, powerful woman and in fact, I streamed our entire evening on Facebook from outside the house while a police officer was present and what?  Well…no, of course I’m not calling her a liar!  I’m not saying that tomorrow, she might believe that something bad might have happened, I’m just saying that I will not be the culprit.  What?  What do you mean that’s as good as calling her a liar?  No, I don’t believe all women lie.  Yes, I believe all women…

HER: So really I’d better scurry.

HIM: Officer, if you’d be so kind as to handcuff me and yes, there we go.  My hands are now restrained behind my back.  Officer, if you wouldn’t mind to use my phone to keep the Facebook stream going.  Wait, let me shout to my neighbors.  NEIGHBORS! COME OUT AND BE MY WITNESSES, PLEASE!

HER: But maybe just a half a drink more.

HIM:  Oh no.  There’s no alcohol here, ma’am.  I’m not implying that you, as a woman, would somehow be prone to abusing alcohol or that women should not feel free to imbibe, I’m just saying I do not keep alcohol in the house so as to prevent a situation where a woman might become inebriated because then she would be in a state where she could be taken advantage of.  You are welcome to get some tap water but please keep your hand over your drink at all times as you never know when someone might slip a mickey into it.

HER: My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious.

HIM: That’s fine.  See? My neighbors came outside so I have over a dozen witnesses on the scene who can testify I did no wrong here.

HER: But maybe just a cigarette more.

HIM: I’m sorry, there’s no smoking allowed here.  By the way, it just dawned on me that maybe you are not leaving because you fear reprisal if you do.  Please rest assured that no harm will come to you, should you decide to leave.  There will be no harm done to you at any time in the future, whatsoever.  I will not say anything bad about your reputation and we don’t work in the same field so I have no power to get you blacklisted or drummed out of your profession and you know what?  I’ll put this in writing.  Let me just write this down.  OK.  Here’s a fully binding legal document indicating you are free to leave and there will be no repercussions for doing so and I will not interfere with your livelihood if you go and hey?  Isn’t one of my neighbors a notary?  Fred, you’re a notary, right?  Cool.  Fred just notarized this.

HER: You’ve really been grand…

HIM: By the way, just now, I wrote that all behind my back.  I trained on how to write while handcuffed just for occasions like these.  Her, it now dawns on me maybe you’re not leaving because you think you want to engage in voluntary sexual congress with me right now but perhaps thirty to forty years in the future you will regret having sex with me and will consider the act a violation of your person.  It just so happens, one of my neighbors is a fortune teller so I’m just going to let her…

MADAME OLGA: By the light of the full moon, I gaze my eyes upon the wonders of my crystal ball and I look forward into the mists of the great beyond.  Oh spirits, tell me if sex that happens today will be appreciated or despised in four decades time.

HIM: You know what?  Cut that, Olga. I’m just going to refuse to participate in any sex at all.  You hear that, everyone?  I refuse sex.  There is absolutely no way to tell if this woman, who has gotten all naked and is lying spread eagle on my bearskin rug, licking her lips and beckoning me to come hither with her finger whilst a bright, flashing neon sign points to her vagina that says, “OPEN FOR BUSINESS!” Yes, to the untrained eye, it looks like this strong, independent woman desires sex but there’s no way to know for sure.  Anyone could have put that sign there.  I’ll just decline.  Fred, draw up a legal memorandum indicating my declination of any and all possible sex acts this evening.

HER: But can’t you see?  Baby it’s cold outside…

HIM: Oh my god!  She’s coming this way!  Quick, officer!  Shoot my dick off!  I beg of you! I don’t want to be declared the next sex pervert du jour on the inter webs tomorrow! Please!  Shoot my dick off!  I beg you!

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Nov 26 2018
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Movies

Movie Review – Widows (2018)

It’s a heist film that stole nearly 2 and a half hours of my time!

BQB here with a review of “Widows.”

When I saw ads for a film about the wives of dead criminals who get together to pull of a heist of their own, I thought that idea seemed like a cool idea for a movie.

Problem is, I went in expecting a tight action movie and got something different altogether.  Frankly, it’s less about the heist and more of a study and meditation on life in inner city Chicago, how a corrupt system keeps people down and out, forced into a life of unhappiness and people can only break out of it if they lie, cheat, steal or you know, commit a massive and unlikely to succeed heist.

At the outset, the movie has a great pedigree.  Gillian Flynn of “Gone Girl” fame co-wrote the script with the flick’s director, Steve McQueen of “12 Years a Slave” fame.

The cast includes Viola Davis, Liam Neeson, Robert Duvall, Michele Rodriguez, Colin Farrell, and well, more stars than I can mention and the surprise is somehow all these big names were talked into sharing the limelight.  It’s an ensemble cast where no one really gets a lot of time in the sun but rather, each is a cog in the machine, doing their part as you wait to see what the final output will be.

Viola Davis leads the squad of women who need to pull off a robbery in order to appease the gangster their late husbands stole from.  Along the way, they’ll have to face their own demons.

Veronica (Viola) is a teacher who always kept her nose clean and had lied to herself, telling herself her husband wasn’t a thief but some kind of businessman though she always knew the truth and she clearly despises the world of hoodlums and losers she will have to wade into.

Linda (Michelle Rodriguez) seeks the independence of owning her own clothing store, though her husband had racked up so much gambling debt that she loses it.  She wants it back.

Alice (Elizabeth Debicki) has grown use to a life of being beaten by her ex-husband, having convinced herself that attaching herself to a rich man like a barnacle is the only way to survive, but hopes the robbery can break her out of this life.

Besides those three, there are multiple sub-plots and characters, all who intersect, Colin Farrell as a third generation Chicago politician forced into a life he doesn’t want by his father, Duvall, and being challenged for his seat on the city council by Brian Henry, the gangster the babes owe money to who is looking to move out of the world of underworld crime to the world of political white collar crime, strangely a step up.

It’s pretentious.  Full of itself.  It has a lot of twists for the sake of twists.  There are twists where you are like “Holy shit I didn’t see that one coming!” followed by “Hey wait a minute, this twist doesn’t make sense.”

Gillian Flynn built her name on the super-twisty “Gone Girl” but I hope she doesn’t fall into the Shamalan trap of trying to build a twisty career.  Hitchcock might have been able to keep the twists going forever, but few can and sometimes it is necessary to move on and seek a non-twisty career.

It’s good.  It’s worth your time though I think a half-hour to 45 minutes could have been chopped off without missing much.  The heist is cool but they do make you wait and wait and wait for it.

If you came for a tight, solid action flick, you will be disappointed.  If you wanted to learn how the system sucks and how it sucks people in and leaves them with no choice but to do bad shit to get by, you came to the right place.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  Skip the theater and rent it.  You’ll need your couch to be comfy on this long time commitment.

 

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Nov 25 2018
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Movies

Movie Review – Creed 2 (2018)

Hold onto your zhopas, 3.5 readers.

BQB here with a review of “Creed 2.”

It’s funny. After “Creed 1” I was like, “Ha! Now Creed Jr. should go to Russia and kick Ivan Drago’s ass to avenge his father!”

Well, turns out Hollywood thinks just like I do.

Hard to believe, but I remember being a little kid in the movie theater watching Rocky and Ivan go at it and now so many years later I am watching their sons go at it and then returning to my blog to tell my 3.5 readers about it.

In case you forgot, in Rocky IV, during the 1980s Cold War era, Apollo dies in a fight against Ivan.  Rocky, Ivan’s couch, failed to throw in the towel and blames himself for Apollo’s death.  He then returns to Russia to train and fight Drago and bring back victory to America.  USA, USA, USA!

In this go around, we learn that the 1980s loss to Rocky caused Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) to lose his standing, respect, and wife.  He had to flee to the Ukraine and live in poverty.  Among the ashes, he trains his son, Viktor, to rise and become a great boxer.

Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan), Rocky’s protégé, is challenged.  Blah, blah, blah, Rocky says no, Creed says yes, shit happens, will he live or die etc.

By now, the Rocky formula, after 8 films, is ingrained in our heads.  Someone ones to fight.  The fight looks insurmountable.  Death and destruction is likely in store for the hero.  The hero stands his ground.  He gets knocked down but he gets back up to take more punishment, thus a metaphor for life.  In the end, he wins the unlikely victory.

Hard to believe Rocky flicks are still being made after all these years but they are still going as strong as ever.  And after each one I’m like, “I can’t see how they could think of another one after this” but now I realize they will.

To the film’s credit, the Dragos are humanized.  In the original, Drago is shown to be a cold, uncaring monster, a product of Communism, the result of a government that was willing to divert all of its resources away from the poor and into a fighting machine that would wage war for the USSR’s honor.

In this installment, we see that Russia doesn’t like a failure.  While Rocky was able to walk away from boxing and open a restaurant, Drago has become a joke and wants his reputation back.  Viktor has trained his whole life for this and it hurts him that his mother (Brigette Nielson) left him.  Both are fighting for respect and it is weird…though you root for Creed, you also want an ending where the Dragos will be accepted by their country again.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.  In theory, the idea of a sequel to Rocky IV in which the sons of Creed and Drago fight to avenge their fathers sounds idiotic and childish but in reality, they managed to pull it off, give it heart, and make it worthwhile.

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Nov 22 2018
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Daily Discussion with BQB

My Rant on the Sentinel Island Murder Story

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

Up front, I want to say I’m not making fun or light of or disparaging the 27 year old missionary who died recently on Sentinel Island.  What happened to him is terrible and I can’t say that enough.

I am, however, going to use this as a springboard to bitch about millennials, one of my favorite pastimes on this blog.

I’ve noticed that millennials tend to put life experiences over material possessions.  Ergo, they (and not all but a good amount) prefer to spend money on vacations to exotic lands instead of say, putting a down payment on a house.

Not going to lie.  There are times when I think about spending my meager savings on a trek around the world but alas, the thought of having to eventually come back and live with my pain in the ass family when I go broke makes me want to gorge myself to death on avocado toast.

But perhaps there are millennials with fams that are more tolerable than mine.  At any rate, fun is for the young and I can’t blame a youngster for wanting to see the world.  Hell, if you’re older and in relatively good shape, you should see the world too if you can.

I think social media has something to do with this.  When I was young, the most you could do was try to impress a date with your story of a far flung expedition.  Now you can take photos of yourself in an exotic locale and post them and make your friends hella green with envy.  Not saying that’s why millennials do this but I mean, come on, surely a few do.

Unfortunately, sometimes the millennials go a little too far.  Otto Warmbier, for example.  Now, I’m not saying in any way that North Korea is excused for what they did but whenever I hear about an American who was caught and imprisoned and tortured in a hellhole that is constantly on the news and known well to be a hellhole my first reaction is, “Damn it.  Did these people not see that Carnival Cruise commercial?  Did Kathie Lee Gifford sing her heart out for nothing?”

Look, my vacation time and funds are limited.  If I get to go away, it is going to be to a tropical paradise and my preferred form of torture will be to ogle hot babes in skimpy outfits that I will never be able to obtain (unless 1 million of you buy my book tomorrow).

Where was I?  So this young missionary went to India.  Off the Indian coast, there’s a series of islands.  One of them is Sentinel Island (I could have my facts wrong so see  the news for better info) and there is a long isolated tribe.  This tribe knows nothing of modern ways.  They live off the land.  There are documented cases where they open fire with bow and arrow attacks on all trespassers.

At any rate, this guy hired some fishermen to take him to the island even though doing so is against Indian law and though he hoped to preach the gospel, it sounds like he was arrow attacked and killed pretty much instantly.

Part of me says the tribe were dicks for doing this.  Part of me thinks this is like putting your hand in the tiger cage at the zoo and then thinking the tiger is a dick when it rips your arm off.

I don’t want to make fun of this kid.  His death is tragic.  I don’t blame him for wanting to experience great things while he was young.  Personally, I look back on my youth, wishing I had great stories to remember and am saddened that it is largely a cloud of me on the couch playing video games and eating doritos, so I hand it to this kid that he did more with his life than I did but still…I just hope millennials will chill out a bit.

Go on fun exotic vacations?  Yes.  Go to places where you are most likely going to be killed, tortured or imprisoned? No.  Please don’t.

End of rant.

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Nov 22 2018
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Movies

Movie Review – Robin Hood (2018)

He stole from the middle-class (i.e. me and my ticket price) and robbed me of 2 hours.

Or did he?

BQB here with a review of “Robin Hood.”

Yeah, I know.  That line above was catty and it is more or less what other critics are saying.  Truth is, I had a hard time with this one because there are parts of it that are quite awesome and overall, it is an enjoyable popcorn flick that had the potential to be truly great had it just been tweaked in some areas.

Taron Egerton, Hollywood’s favorite Brit these days, plays Lord Robin of Loxley, forced to leave an idyllic life of schtupping Maid Marion in his fabulously swanky castle to go off to war and fight the crusades in Arabia.

An early scene shows Robin and co. dressed in garb that straddles the line between ancient and modern and an inner city battle is a bit reminiscent of what American soldiers might have seen when they fought enemies in the Middle East in recent years.  I assume this is intentional as a commentary on modern war but then again, there are a number of touches, dialogue, and unfortunate clothing choices that make the viewer wonder if the film’s historical expert was out to lunch for most of the production.

In other words, this is not just Robin Hood.  It’s Woke Robin Hood.  When John (his real name is unpronounceable by the average English speaker for comedic effect), played by Jamie Foxx, an Arab who explains to Robin that this war and all wars since the beginning of time are scams designed to make the rich richer off the backs of the poor (I suppose we could debate this back and forth forever), Robin returns to England and dawns the hood.

From thereon, he becomes a superhero style fighter.  By day, he remains Robin, using his wealth and influence to gain the Sheriff of Nottingham’s trust and by night, using that trust against the evil, war tax collecting politician by stealing his ill gotten gains and distributing them to the impoverished masses.  He’s like a Batman of long ago.

To its credit, it does have a powerful anti-war message and viewers might be struck with the irony that politicians have been pulling on the citizenry’s emotional strings to support wars since the beginning of time and it is a cycle we may never be free of.  Unfortunately, the way it is done is a tad heavy handed, a bit too modern for a historical piece, and at one point where there is a casino night where the wealthy wear elaborate, Hunger Games rich people style garbs as they play roulette, those sticklers for historical accuracy will cringe.  If you can keep saying, “It’s just a fantasy” then you’ll be ok.

STATUS: Truly, there are many cool scenes, awesome fights, stylish goings on and so forth.  Egerton, Foxx and cast do their jobs well.  It’s worth the price of admission but like I said, it’s a good film that you’ll watch and then never care to see again and that’s too bad because a few plot changes and some more attention to historical details would have made it a great film with long lasting appeal.  Alas, in time (like my books) it is destined to hang out in the Sherwood Forest of the 99 cent bin forever.

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