Tag Archives: 1980s

BQB’s Classic Movie Roundup – Coming to America (1988)

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Holy shit I’m so old.  I actually saw this movie as a little kid in the theater, 3.5 readers.

And now that I think of it, I probably should not have heard the phrase, “the royal penis is clean, your highness” as a kid, but oh well, I turned out fine.  I run a successful blog with 3.5 readers, after all.

If you haven’t seen this yet, you have to.  I was running through the channels tonight and it came on and I was glued.  It’s got to be Eddie Murphy’s most memorable movie and even though it’s a comedy, I think the late 1980s Academy was in remiss for not giving it some Oscar love because it is as funny as it is touching.

Eddie Murphy plays Akeem, Prince of the fictional African nation, Zamunda.  His father, King Jaffe Joffer (James Earl Jones) has arranged a marriage between Akeem and a fine ass babe that will do anything that Akeem wants, but Akeem is, you know, a deep thinker.  He wants a woman who will love him for his mind, not his money and better yet, a woman who he will actually be able to connect with and talk to, an intellectual type.

So, Akeem and his trusty manservant, Semmi (Arsenio Hall) shuffle off to Queens, New York, where those pose as a pair of fast food joint workers.  Akeem falls for the owner’s daughter, Lisa (Shari Headley), but he must juggle his dopey poor man act while fending off Lisa’s douchey rich boyfriend/Jheri curl empire heir (a young Eriq La Salle before he became a doctor on ER), dealing with Lisa’s disapproving father (John Amos) and taking down a stick-up man (a young Samuel L. Jackson, long before he got tired of these mother effing snakes on this mother effing plane).

I spent so much of my youth quoting lines from this movie.  Check it out, 3.5.  You won’t be sorry.

 

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RIP Alan Thicke

Hey 3.5 readers.

This sad pop culture news just in.  Alan Thicke, the actor who played Jason Seaver on Growing Pains, has died at age 69.  He was one of the great 1980s sitcom ads and I feel like I hear his fix your tax problem commercials every five minutes on the radio.

Very sad news. He will be missed.

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The Old People Are Getting Younger

I have a new habit, 3.5 readers and it is a terrible one that I need to break immediately.

Whenever I meet, see and/or think about an older person I subtract sixteen in order to figure out how old they were in 2000, realize they were young during then and since 2000 seems like it was just yesterday to me, it feels like that older person should not be old, like they were just young two seconds ago so why are they old now?

Did they catch an oldifying disease?

No, they’re just old.  Time, you dirty, dirty bitch, you.

I feel the same way about myself. I literally feel like my life was like:

  • 2000 – Oh boy, the world is my oyster!
  • Time passes – Huh, I sure am having a hard time making my dreams come true.
  • 2016 – Holy shit I blinked and now I have gray pubes.  2000, where did you go?

I blame the pop culture.

For the most part, give or take a few style trends, people in 2000 didn’t look much different than they do now.

The music isn’t that much different.  The movies have better effects now but 2000 movies were no slouches.

So that’s my complaint.  We’re in the second decade since 2000 but neither decade has had any real defining style.

Think about…

…the 1960s – Tie dye and hippies, bell bottom jeans and people saying “far out” and groovy.”

...the 1970s – Disco, leisure suits and eight tracks.

…the 1980s – Hair bands, Michael Jackson, Madonna.  “Greed is good” according to Gordon Gecko.

…the 1990s – Everyone dresses up like a lumber jack and listens to depressing alt rock.  Gangsta rap takes over the rap game.

…the 2000s till now – Eh, I mean, I could be wrong. Maybe you’ll see it differently, but it just seems like time time since 2000 has just been all about computers and the Internet getting better, social media taking over, music seems to fall into either pop or rap.  There are no new styles coming along and guitar based rock or other types of songs seems like a a lost art form.

My overall point – I used to be able to look at a black and white movie or a photo of a man in a fedora and know it was from the 1950s.  But now, its getting harder to tell what post-2000s time period a piece of pop culture is from.

At least my parents got a cue in the 1990s.  “What? Everyone is dressing like a lumberjack and listening to songs sung by super depressing marble mouthed mumblers from Seattle? Guess we’re old now!”

It just seems like pop culture is losing its decade dividing lines.

What say you, 3.5?

 

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BQB’s Classic Movie Roundup – License to Drive (1988)

“You mustn’t fuck with the department of motor vehicles, Mr. Anderson. We can make your life a living hell.”

Sigh.  Good times.

Every once in awhile I see an old movie on TV that I feel the need to tell my 3.5 readers about.

While “classic” might mean “Oscar caliber” to some people, I’m just going to use the term loosely whenever an older film strikes my eye.

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This afternoon, I caught License to Drive, a 1980s comedy starring the decade’s two most popular Coreys, Haim and Feldman, respectively.

I’ve seen this one so many times and I can’t help but watch it again whenever I’m channel surfing and happen to catch it.  No matter what generation you’re from, it really captures the importance of being able to drive and how a license can totally change a teenager’s life.

Sixteen-year-old Les (Corey Haim) lucks out in scoring a date with uber hottie Mercedes (Heather Graham’s breakout role).

He figures it will all work out because his driver’s license exam is that week and he’ll be licensed by the weekend but no, he epically fails and thus a series of terrible events occur.

Not wanting to miss out, Haim defies his father (Richard Masur as a typical angry that my kid is so dumb dad) and swipes his grandfather’s cadillac to take Mercedes out.

You may not realize it, but this movie really combines sights, sounds, and backstory to create a funny experience.

In the beginning, we learn that Les’s grandfather loves his car and that he’s likely to start World War III if so much as a scratch is left on it.  Thus, throughout the movie, from a narrow road in the forest where tree branches swipe against the car, to Mercedes getting drunk and dancing on the hood in her heels, to goons getting mad at Les and trashing the car, to a drunk barfing in it, you, as the viewer, end up cringing with every single scrape, bang and ding.

Corey Feldman of Goonies fame and Michael Manasseri are Les’s buddies, the carefree Dean who eggs Les on to break more and more rules and uber nerd Charles who is afraid of everything.

To top it all off, Les’s mother (Carol Kane) is pregnant and could need a ride to the hospital at any minute which isn’t good seeing as how her son ran off with the family’s only method of transportation.

My favorite part is the scene where Les takes his driver’s test.  We see scenes where his test and his twin sister (family favorite Natalie played by Nina Siemaszko) gets a super nice tester who takes her for a nice, quiet drive through the country while Les gets a super angry tester (James Avery aka Will Smith’s uncle in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air).

When James literally tosses his clipboard out the window and informs Les that if a single drop of his coffee spills its over, you know its going to be funny.

Great movie.  Reminds me of my childhood, being a teenager and overall, simpler times.

Sigh…and it makes me sad that we lost Corey Haim too soon at age 38.  Life sure can be unfair sometimes.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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TV Review – Stranger Things

Nerds!  Monsters! Mysterious doings!

BQB here with a review of Netflix’s latest hit, Stranger Things.

NOTE: I’m only up to episode three.  I’ll be spoiling what I know so far so don’t read ahead if you want to avoid spoilers. Meanwhile, don’t tell me what happens after episode three. Thanks 3.5 readers.

So for the past month everyone in my Facebook feed has been all like, “OMG I love Stranger Things! It reminds me of my childhood because I’m a friend of BQB and therefore I’m a dried up old Generation Xer that no one gives a shit about!”

Yup. That’s what they actually said. My 3.5 friends are very hard on themselves.

But those are the grass is greener people.  Me? The tale brings me so far back into my childhood that I ended up thinking, “Oh joy. All the things I enjoyed as a child are now ancient history and the grim specter of death is looking over my shoulder.”

I tend to be a glass half empty type of person.  Glass half full people are like, “What? I had a toy Millennium Falcon too!”

How to describe this show?

Take one part Goonies and one part X-Files.  Throw in a dash of Steven Spielberg’s E.T., just a pinch of Poltergeist and you’re there.

From the electronically synthesized theme music to the kids saving the day on their bikes, this show is a heaping helping of nostalgia for the thirty to forty something crowd to relive their youth and enjoy a distraction from the twenty-two year old millennials who somehow leap frogged the hell over us and became our bosses/safe space dwelling, trigger warning demanding overlords in the blink of an eye.

The plot surrounds a group of boys whose friend Will has gone missing.  Will’s mother, Joyce, played by Winona Ryder, herself a staple of 1980s teen movies, freaks out while the town’s depressed chief of police Jim Hopper (David Harbour) turns the town upside down looking for the lad.

But to hell with those adults, for it is up to nerd boy trio Mike, Lucas and Dustin (Finn Wolfhard, Caleb McLaughlin and Gaten Matarazzo, respectively) to ride around town aimlessly on their bikes to save the day.

Oh, and they’re joined by a mysterious girl with eerie super powers (Millie Bobby Brown.)

Was she named after singer Bobby Brown? That kind of would be awesome.

And seriously? “Finn Wolfhard?”  Holy shit. That kid should thank his parents because with a name like that Hollywood had no choice but to put him on the fast track to fame.

I have enjoyed the first three episodes and now that I think about it, it has been quite some time since there was a serious movie or TV show where a group of kids are the main characters yet adults are able to find the story enjoyable.

There were a lot of movies like this in the 1980s, then they sort of trailed of in the 1990s.

Why? I don’t know.  Maybe because today’s kids would learn that their friend is missing and be all like, “Oh noes! I must totes run to my safe space and raise awareness on Twitter! Hashtag #PrayersforWill”

Then again, the adults have gotten worse too.  Kids used to be able to ride around on their bikes and seek assistance from trustworthy adults.  Today, I wouldn’t advise a kid to trust an adult if the adult shows two forms of ID and a reference letter signed by the president and the pope.

Some 1980s things I noticed:

  • Star Wars toys (which are still popular today)
  • Rotary phones with cords.  You pretty much needed to keep your conversations short and sweet, although I do kind of remember just lying down on the kitchen linoleum floor as a whippersnapper in order to have longer conversations whilst being tethered to the phone attached to the wall. Oh and those rotary dials meant you’d stick your finger in the number hole, then crank it all the way around, then do it again for the next number…and the next one….
  • Libraries with micro fiche readers and card catalogs.  Card catalogs were like a computer database on paper! Fun stuff.
  • Mom jeans and window pane glasses.  Not to goof on Barb.  Sigh, people used to care more about function over fashion.  Today, glasses are small and stylish, but those window pane bad boys gave a nerd way more peripheral vision.  Its way easier to sneak up on a nerd now. Thanks a lot small glasses.

So, that’s it. That’s my review. Despite all my gripes about getting older, Stranger Things is actually a fun filled romp back in time.

Oh and if you’re a Gen Xer, its fun to watch this show with a millennial.  Obviously, don’t steal one off the street, but if you have one in your family like I do.  We watched it and the conversation was thus:

MILLENIAL: They had pools back then?

ME: Ugh. Yes.

MILLENIAL: They had cars back then?

ME: And even before then.

MILLENIAL: Wait, when did Star Wars come out?

ME: In the 1970s.  Kids were way into it.

MILLENIAL: And they had plastic toys?

ME: Kids in the 1980s couldn’t buy plastic toys fast enough.

MILLENIAL: People had nice houses for that time.

ME: I know. You assumed we all lived in mud huts.

MILLENIAL: What a wonderful commitment to diversity that the boys have a black friend  despite the racial divisions at the time.

ME: Nope. We had black friends. Wasn’t a big deal. White kids liked toys. Black kids liked toys. We’d get together and play with our toys. Didn’t matter. No one asked for a medal for being friends with a black kid.

See? These whippersnappers don’t know about anything before 1990.

Enjoy it while it lasts, millennials. In twenty years, the next generation will have a show where everyone’s all like, “OMG. I can’t believe that people used to post pictures of their lunch on Facebook. Now that everyone’s a precog we all already know what everyone ate for lunch.”

STATUS: Shelf-worthy

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Top Ten 1980s Comedies

Popcorn

Hey…hey…hey….hey! Ooo uh ooo whoa…don’t you…forget to check out BQB’s list of the funniest flicks to come out during the 1980s.

From BQB HQ in fabulous East Randomtown, in no particular order:

#10 – Revenge of the Nerds (1984) – As one of the greatest Internet nerds today, I should know the history of the word “nerd.” I’m sure it is lengthy but any rate, this movie did more to introduce the concept of nerds into pop culture than anything else.  Disrespected for their glasses and computer prowess (which wasn’t much to write home about by today’s standards) Lewis and Gilbert (Robert Carradine and Anthony Edwards) gather their campus’ supply of nerds together to rebel against the jocks, who in typical 1980s bully fashion, love to wear their sweaters as capes by tying the sleeves around their necks then allowing the sweaters themselves to drape down over their backs.

Also, this movie had boobs.  I can’t even remember the last time I saw a boob in a movie. Travesty of justice, I say.

#9 – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) – A high school ne’er-do-well (Matthew Broderick as Ferris) concocts an elaborate scheme to convince his parents that he is sick so he can skip school and take his hot girlfriend Sloane (Mia Sara) and uptight, perpetually worried best friend Cameron (Alan Ruck) on a fun trip to Chicago.

Along the way, Ferris manages to stay one step ahead of bumbling principal Ed Rooney (Jeffrey Jones) and the audience laughs their asses off as a dedicated public servant is put through one harrowing ordeal after another as he attempts to catch a student in the act of truancy, or in other words, his damn job.

Memorable line – “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”  Damn, if that isn’t the truth. In fact, I remember being a little boy in the video store watching this movie play on the display TV as if it were yesterday. Umm, kids, a video store was…oh forget it.

#8 – Coming to America (1988) – Under pressure from his father (James Earl Jones as Jaffe Joffer, King of Fictional African Country Zamunda), Prince Akeem (Eddie Murphy) flees with his trusty manservant Semmi (Arsenio Hall) for Queens, New York in search of, well, his bride, who will one day be the Queen.  This movie is a fun meditation on figuring out what you are looking for in a mate and how money and power can ruin things.  After all, there are plenty of women who would like to marry a prince, but Akeem poses as being dirt poor just to find a woman who will love him for who he is inside. Plus, holy shit. This movie was outright hilarious and still is.  Eddie is the master of playing multiple characters in a movie.

#7 – Weird Science (1985) – Dejected and lonely, big time nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) use their computers skills to create Lisa (Kelly Le Brock) aka the woman of their dreams. Lisa teaches the lads how to develop the manly confidence they need to stand up to bullies Ian (Robert Downey Jr. long before he became Iron Man) and Max (Robert Rusler) not to mention Wyatt’s mean, pain in the ass older brother Chet (Bill Paxton.)  Besides inspiring to spend many years of my life trying to create a hot babe with my computer to no avail, I remember this film for cementing the phrase “squeeze the cheese” as a euphemism for pooping into pop culture.  Good show.

#6 – National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) – Family vacations gone awry. Who’s never experienced that before? Try as you might, something inevitably goes wrong. Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) is the dopey dad/dedicated family man obsessed with planning the perfect family getaway to Walley World.  Alas, one problem after the next gets in his way.  Even so, nothing will stop Clark from showing the Griswold clan (Beverly D’Angelo as wife Ellen, Anthony Michael Hall (damn that kid got a lot of work in the 1980s) as Rusty and Dana Barron as Audrey) a good time.

This film inspired a franchise that gave us hits European Vacation and the ever quotable holiday classic Christmas Vacation (I watch this every year).  Admittedly, they probably could have stopped at Vegas Vacation. Then again, Clark didn’t stop when Walley World was closed, did he?

#5 – Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) – Before Sean Penn became a self-declared, self-righteous world traveling wannabe diplomat, he was Jeff Spicoli, the California dude who defied crotchety teacher Mr. Hand (Ray Walston) by having a pizza delivered directly to class.  Relive your minimum wage slave days as Brad (Judge Reinhold) is forced to don a tacky pirate costume to work at a seafood restaurant. And come on, you’ll always remember the first time you spotted Linda (Phoebe Cates) emerging from that pool.  Phoebe was highly underutilized by Hollywood, if you ask me. Gremlins. Drop Dead Fred.  Then alas, she kind of just disappeared.  Meanwhile Judge Reinhold continues to get steady work. Oh, the irony!

#4 – Caddyshack (1980) – Rodney Dangerfeld’s classic line was true. He got no respect. No respect at all.  In fact, he worked steadily as an entertainer his entire life only to find fame in his sixties. Oh well. Better late than never.  In this film, Rodney plays nouveau riche boor Al Czervik whose uncouth ways turn a high falutin’ country club up on its ear.  Club member Judge Smails (Ted Knight, who cornered the market on playing rich snobby douches in 1970s and 80s movies) wouldn’t stand for it. Al and the Judge square off to hilarious results, as groundskeeper Carl Spackler attempts to explode an unruly gopher.

#3 – Back to School – The 1980s really were Rodney’s decade as he had another hit, Back to School. Again, he plays a self-made man who clashes with folks who were born into wealth. This time around, Rodney is millionaire Thornton Mellon, who decides to cramp the style of his son, Jason (Keith Gordon) by attending college with him.  Thornton enjoys the social part of college, throwing wild, out of control parties. Yet, he uses his wealth to contract out his homework to hilarious results (he hires author Kurt Vonnegut to write about paper about himself.)  Eventually, Thornton realizes the error of his ways and decides that the point of college is to cram the knowledge into his own brain.  Funny cameo by Sam Kinison who relays tales of his Vietnam veteran experience to the class in a loud, hilarious way.  “Oh, oh, OH!!!”

#2 – Ghostbusters (1984) – “Who you gonna call?” The likes of this film had never been seen before at the time.  Action. Comedy. Horror. Special effects. All rolled up into a tight package. Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson as New York City’s premiere squad of professional paranormal investigators and eliminators. They weren’t afraid of no ghost and really, the movie’s greatest villain was the government as EPA agent Walter Peck (William Atherton) shuts down the team’s ghost containment unit. (“Is this true? Yes this is true. This man has no dick.”)  In Walter’s defense though, the Ghostbusters did rely heavily on the use of nuclear technology in their projects and there never was an explanation of how they got their hands on them.

# 1 – Airplane (1980) – “Surely, you can’t be serious? I am and don’t call me Shirley.”  Oh Airplane. Oh Zucker brothers. Jokes for the sake of jokes, plot and and likelihood be damned.  People are so uptight now. They don’t just laugh anymore. There always has to be some explanation for everything.  No one can just look at an inflatable autopilot smiling as if it were getting a blowjob with the humor it deserves. Everyone would want to know how the autopilot was able to smile.  Former air force pilot Ted Striker (Robert Hays) must overcome his past to land a commercial jetliner when the crew falls ill with food poisoning. Along the way, he rekindles the romance he once had with stewardess Elaine (the epically sweet voiced Julie Hagerty.)

I’ll watch this movie whenever it is on but I don’t know if we’ll ever see another one just like it. Zaniness is no longer appreciated. Jonathan Banks (known today as Mike in Breaking Bad) being asked to “check the radar range” only to open a microwave door to reveal an undercooked  turkey and give a reply of “About two more minutes chief” just won’t fly anymore. People have become too literal. Everyone would want to know why he checked on a turkey.  Sigh. People aren’t funny anymore.

The film also breathed new life into the career of Leslie Nielsen, who had once been a serious thespian, only to spend his old age playing buffoons such as Frank Dreben in Police Squad. (FYI The Naked Gun) could have easily joined this list along with many other comedies.

What 1980s comedy movie did I miss, 3.5 readers? Discuss in the comments.

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Movie Review – X-Men Apocalypse (2016)

X-Men in the 80’s.  So many special powers. So much Tab.

And so many SPOILERS below.

BQB here with a review of X-Men: Apocalypse.

You know 3.5 readers, as I sat in the movie theater tonight it dawned on me that it has been exactly 10 damn years since the critically panned X-Men: The Last Stand came out in May of 2006.

I only remember that because it was a happy time for me and so I remember some happy doings occurring in my life around the time I went to see it.

Then it all sank into a giant crap storm not long after that and to my surprise, an entire decade has gone by.  The Bush Presidency came to an end. The Obama Presidency is wrapping up.

Yet it seems like it was just 2006. Where does the time go?

Oh sorry. You wanted a movie review, not a BQB life lamentation.

Back on track.

The series takes a detour from the usual Professor X vs. Magneto (it’s so sad we’re mortal enemies because deep down we’re such good friends) schtick (although it is still present in this movie).

Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac), a mutant dating back to the dawn of mankind, can absorb the powers of other mutants and enhance them.  There’s nothing he can’t do so in effect, he’s a God.

Once worshipped in Ancient Egypt, Apocalypse returns to the 1980s and sets out to conquer the world. From Star Wars references to Pac Man, the producers definitely don’t want you to forget what decade you’re in.

Magneto (Michael Fassbender), Psylocke (not as much gratuitous booty as I hoped), Angel and a young Storm drink the anti-human Kool Aid that Apocalypse is preaching and become his lackies.

Meanwhile, Professor X, Mystique and the rest of the gang stand up for the humans as usual.

Lots of action, suspense, special effects.  A few origin stories for some of the X-Men jammed in (Jean Grey, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, etc.)

Sophie Turner (as Jean Grey) and Rose Byrne (as Agent Moira Mactaggert) drop their British accents and to my surprise, pass for Americans.

It scared me a little. Frankly, it reinforced my fear that double agents walk amongst us, plotting to take America back in the name of the Queen.

Aside from that, Sophie does well in her first big role outside of Game of Thrones.

I give the film credit because it does stay true the film series.  The first three films were so long ago it is hard for me to remember but there were some points in this film that had me vaguely recollecting points in the early 2000 films.

Keep the super hero flicks coming, Hollywood.  Sure, there’s a part of me that wonders why I am wasting precious hours of my life watching costumed assholes fight each other, but then I remember there’s nothing else I’d like to watch more than costumes assholes fight each other.

Will the X-Men ever team up with the Avengers? Probably not seeing as how they’re owned by separate companies, although Fox was willing to let Disney have a Spider-Man appearance in the latest Captain America movie so I suppose anything is possible.

They say the next X-Men movie will take place in the 1990s. Shit. If I have to watch costumed assholes fight each other with Bill Clinton blabbing about not inhaling on TV in the background and Greenday playing on the radio then I’m going to feel like an old ass bastard.

Even more so than I already do.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy.

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Movie Discussion – Trading Places (1983)

 

It was on TV this afternoon and I ended up watching it.  Dan Akroyd.  Eddie Murphy.  Jamie Lee Curtis as a hooker with a heart of gold.

It was on all the time when I was a kid so it took me on a stroll down memory lane.

If you’ve never seen it, it asks the “nature vs. nurture” question that plagues us today.  Do people possess an innate ability to thrive or fail or is it possible to pluck anyone out of a bad environment, put them in a good one and see them succeed?

To that end, the Duke Brothers, a pair of elderly Wall Street tycoons frame their firm’s manager Winthorp (Dan Akroyd) to see if he thrives or fails when he hits the skids.  Meanwhile, they appoint Billy Ray (Eddie Murphy) as the firm’s manager and give him a lot of money to see whether he thrives or fails when thrust into success.

Also, there are a lot of boobs.  Many gratuitous 1980s boobs belonging to women who are either dead or very old now.  Depressing.

Questions for my 3.5 readers

QUESTION 1:

Do you think environment matters when it comes to a person’s success or failure?  Are people in tough situations bound to fail or are there people who can make the best out of any situation?

QUESTION 2:

Why aren’t there any boobs in movies anymore?  Movies used to have boobs all the time.  Now I barely see any.  What gives?

Meanwhile, movies are more violent than ever with people getting shot, hacked up, eaten by CGI movies but put one pair of boobs on the screen and to quote the Joker, “everyone loses their minds!”

NOTE: Downside – there is a blackface scene in which Dan Akroyd goes undercover as a Jamaican while wearing blackface and fake dreads.  Even by 1983 standards that was a little bit off.  So there’s that but overall despite that one scene, the movie does have a good message about not automatically disparaging someone who doesn’t come from a perfect background, that had you lacked opportunity you might struggle too.

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Pop Culture Mini-Mysteries with Informant Zero – What is Mr. T’s Real Name?

Salutations 3.5 Readers,

Informant Zero

Informant Zero

Informant Zero here, reporting from my nondescript lair deep beneath the Anything Goes Club.

Through Attorney Donnelly, Bookshelf Q. Battler and I have reached an agreement.

Every Wednesday, I’ll post a Mini-Mystery, a short question about entertainment.

Doing so will allow Detective Hatcher to ramble off course from the questions BQB asks him but still get your inquiries about Hollywood answered.

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION

In the 1980’s, Mr. T was a big brawny fan favorite.  As BA Baracus, he was the A-Team’s muscle.  Sporting layers upon layers of gold jewelry, he became a cult icon and even had his own Saturday morning cartoon show.

As Clubber Lang, he delivered an upsetting defeat to Rocky Balboa in Rocky III.  Rocky learned the hard way that complacency is a surefire path toward defeat.

The mystery at hand?

What is Mr. T’s real name?

Tweet your answers to @bookshelfbattle or leave them in the comments below.  I will return next Wednesday to provide the answer and a new mystery.

So long, 3.5 readers and remember:

The truth is not as hidden as you might think.

Do you have a question about entertainment?  Whether it’s about Hollywood, celebrity gossip, TV, movies, books, music etc. drop a dime to @bookshelfbattle  

BQB might assign it to Jake or Informant Zero, depending on who’s available.

If you’ve got a book or blog, it will be plugged, subject to Attorney Donnelly’s approval.

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Movie Review – Pixels (2015)

Hey parents!  Remember all those video games you loved as a kid?

Well, they’re so old that they’ve become quaint!

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Adam Sandler’s action movie for kids, Pixels.

Even Pac-Man couldn’t gobble up the oncoming SPOILERS fast enough.

Movie Trailer – Pixels – Sony

Sometimes it’s hard to be Adam Sandler.

He wowed people in the 90’s with hits like Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison.  Those are two films that are still quotable today.

(You’ve never told someone something they just said made no sense and everyone is now dumber for having heard it?)

But then he made a slew of lesser films that fell flat and now he’s the point where everyone expects his movies will suck.

To his credit, this one didn’t.

If you’re looking for highbrow entertainment, then you’ll probably think it does.

If you’re a parent looking for a movie to bring your kids to that won’t bore you to tears, then you’ll enjoy it.

As kids, Sandler (Brenner), Kevin James (Cooper), Josh Gad (Ludlow), and Peter Dinklage (Eddie) once competed in a 1980’s video game tournament.

Back in those days, the lads thought the world would one day be their oyster.  Alas, they find life pretty disappointing as adults.

Brenner, who once dreamed of becoming a tech genius works at a Best Buy-esque home TV installation company.  Ludlow has become a wacky conspiracy theorist who still lives with his grandma and Eddie?  I won’t spoil it for you.

The only one who had life go his way was Cooper, but I won’t spoil that for you either.

Needless to say, the buddies who once believed their video game skills were useless in the real world become the world’s only hope when aliens attack using video game warfare.

Turns out, aliens aren’t that bright.  (Don’t tell Alien Jones).

Footage of the video game tournament was sent to outer space as an example of Earth culture in the hopes that friendly aliens would discover it.  Alas, the aliens take it as a challenge and develop real life versions of 1980’s video games to attack Earth.

Completely silly I know, but you’ll enjoy the special effects as Brenner and friends take on Centipede, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong and so on.

There’s plenty of celebrity appearances.  Brian Cox plays a cranky American general and Sean Bean plays his British counterpart.  Michelle Monaghan plays Brenner’s love interest/Army inventor of anti-alien video game technology.

Josh Gad steals the show with his antics until Dinklage steals it from him with his obnoxious, egotistical character.

Q-Bert becomes the Jar Jar Binks of the film but that’s besides the point.

Will you, as once said to Happy Madison, be dumber for watching this movie?  Maybe.  But if you suspend disbelief and silence your inner critic, you’ll be entertained.

But if you can remember a time when arcades were fun and popular, then you might want to skip it because you’ll be left feeling old…unless you’re feeling nostalgic.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

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