Hey 3.5 Readers.
BQB here.
Marvel’s got a new movie trailer for Doctor Strange. Surgeon who becomes like a magic space wizard or something. Admittedly, I don’t know much about it as Doctor S is one of Marvel’s lesser known characters.
The trailer looks like the movie borrows from the Matrix and Inception.
What say you, 3.5?
OH MY GOD! NERDGASM!
If you were offered a procedure that would allow you to live forever but the catch is that you had to be hideously, wretchedly ugly, like barf enduringly ugly, would you do it?
I think I would. I mean you’d get to live forever. All the future you’d get to have seems like it would outweigh the ugliness. Plus, with all that time you could save a lot of money and become super rich and once you are rich people ignore the ugly.
Success comes if you are a) super attractive but if you can’t be super attractive then lots of money tends to convince people to overlook that. You can look like a total butt and people will like you if you’re loaded.
I should start another hashtag. #OscarsSoRich – Surely there’s a dirt poor actor who starred in an indie movie that’s being ignored.
Hello 3.5 readers,
BQB here. I’m looking forward to the upcoming Deadpool movie. For those of you who have lives and like do things other than watch TV and movies, Deadpool is a different kind of super hero.
He’s the “Merc with a Mouth” meaning he spouts off terrible off-color jokes on a non-stop basis and swears constantly. He also engages in all sorts of awful violence.
And if you have a bizarre sense of humor, it’s all pretty funny. Watch out for this trailer though. It’s R rated so…as mentioned above, lots of gratuitous swearing and violence.
I’ve seen the first two episodes on Netflix. Enjoying it so far. Very noir. Very cool. Stylish but also with super heroes.
What say you, 3.5 readers?
So a rubberman, a rock monster, a burning man and an invisible girl walk into a bar…
Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review at the latest attempt at a Fantastic Four movie.
To paraphrase Ben “The Thing” Grimm: IT’S SPOILIN’ TIME!
Fantastic Four – Movieclips Trailers
This movie is getting the crap panned out of it by the critics and even director Josh Trank reportedly tweeted (and later deleted), “You’ll probably never get to see my good version,” assumedly in response to a collective thumbs down from the movie review community.
Rotten Tomatoes, a movie review site that ranks films on a scale of 1-100% gave it 9%. It barely registered. Holy crap, that’s like, Gigli territory.
To put it in perspective, if Disney ever puts out a Jar Jar Binks origin story film, it’d probably get at least 15% just for being a completed film.
(I don’t know that to be case exactly. What do I look like, a Rotten Tomato expert or something?)
Personally? I don’t get it.
Call me crazy, tell me why I’m wrong, but I didn’t think it was that bad.
It was better than the two mid-2000’s attempts, though that’s not saying much. This franchise’s big villain/draw has always been the metallic Dr. Doom, and those movies, for some odd reason, were pretty light on the Doom.
A Fab Four movie that’s light on Dr. Doom is the equivalent of making a movie about Superman, except there’s no heroics and it’s just a rom-com about how he wants to tell Lois his secret but is too afraid.
This version makes up for it, with some pretty sweet Doom scenes in which he, in almost a Darth Vaderian level of bad-ass-itude, started popping heads left and right with his mind. Toby Kebell plays the baddie in this version.
The franchise went with a younger crew this time around, and I don’t think that hurt it. In fact, Miles Teller plays Reed Richards and in a summer where every hero is buffer and has more muscles than the next, it was good to see a nerd as the hero for once.
For once? TRY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
NERDS: Can a nerd be the hero for once?
SOCIETY: What?! You need glasses to see? Boo! No! No super heroics for you!
In this movie’s defense, this franchise isn’t Marvel’s easiest to put on film. You’ve got Reed aka Mr. Fantastic, who is a freaking rubber man. While being super stretchy is an interesting power, it does have the potential to backfire and look dumb. This film avoided that.
Then you’ve got a rock man, an invisible girl, and a man on fire, so all in all, they’re a haphazard collection of heroes with random powers.
(Oddly though, while this group usually gets goofed on by the critics, another comic book group featuring a Nordic god, a man in a robot suit, a green monster and a super patriot are box office gold so go figure.)
Kate Mara and Reg E. Cathey pull off a House of Cards mini-reunion. Frank Underwood fans know Kate as Zoe Barnes and Reg as Freddy aka the owner of Frank’s favorite barbecue joint. Here, Reg is the father of Sue (Kate) and Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan).
Sidenote: Jordan took a lot of heat (pun intended) for playing Johnny/the Human Torch. The character has usually been white in past films. But really, who cares? Spread the super hero roles throughout the races. If you’re worried about what color a character is in a super hero movie you probably have too much time on your hands.
Meanwhile, Jamie Bell plays Ben Grimm, the team member who has it the hardest (pun intended) because while the other characters can return to normal, he’s stuck being a rock monster.
And in this film, he’s a rock monster with no pants. He’s got nothing down there in case you were wondering. Maybe you weren’t. I don’t know.
This movie is all origin story with a face-off against Doom at the end. Perhaps it can be criticized on the fact that most of the first half is devoted to the experiment that leads to the team inadvertently catching their powers.
I’m not a fan of super hero origins stories, mostly because we know them front and back already. I don’t need to see Batman’s parents get shot for the hundredth time. I don’t need to see Superman’s escape pod land in the Kents’ corn field. I don’t need to see Peter Parker get bitten by a damn radioactive Spider again.
We all know what happened. There’s no need to re-tell the whole story again every time the cast changes. Just jump straight to the action.
However, I can’t begrudge the Fab Four an origin story because they’ve been denied a good one thus far.
I don’t know. Based on the reviews, I went into it thinking that it would be two hours of The Thing performing a poetry recital while Sue and Johnny use Reed as a jumprope, so I was pleasantly surprised.
If you hated it, I don’t want to start a nerd fight or anything, but what did I miss? Why is this movie considered so sucky?
It’s not like it was good enough to run out and watch again, but I didn’t feel like I didn’t get my money’s worth either.
STATUS: Shelf worthy.
While other heroes might be larger than life, this one’s going small.
Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Marvel’s latest summer smash hit, Ant-Man.
Be forewarned – the SPOILERS ahead aren’t tiny.
Ant-Man – Marvel – Movieclips Trailers
Try this one on for size (pun intended.)
In a comic book world where one superhero is big, bolder and badder than the next, this guy’s power comes from becoming super miniscule. Not only that, but he controls a legion of ants who become his buddies.
Sounds epically stupid, right?
And yet, somehow Marvel pulls it off with great gusto in one of its best offerings this year.
Michael Douglas plays Dr. Hank Pym, whose Pym particle allows miniaturization. The wearer of a suit infused with Pym’s creation allows the wearer:
Years ago, Pym put the kibosh on his creation, refusing to share it with the government out of fear it could fall into the wrong hands and be used for nefarious purposes.
Flash forward to today, where Pym’s protege, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll of House of Cards fame) has managed to recreate Pym’s research to create “Yellowjacket,” a suit that allows the wearer to become small, fly around and shoot lasers.
Cross has evil plans for his creation and that’s where ex-con Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) comes in.
Pym’s too old to don the suit himself, refuses to put his daughter Hope (Evangeline Lilly) at risk by allowing her to wear it, and thus Scott is recruited to become…dun dun dun…ANT-MAN!
This is a heist movie, more or less Marvel’s version of Ocean’s 11, as Scott must infiltrate Cross’ security and make off with the Yellowjacket tech before Cross’ evil plans are unleashed on the world.
I love Avengers, but here’s the thing. Iron Man has super intellect. The Hulk has super strength. Thor has muscles out the wazoo. Capt. America is the world’s ultimate soldier.
Try as much as you like, but you’ll never get to be like one of these guys.
That’s why Ant-Man is such a relatable character. When Scott dons the Ant-Man suit, he doesn’t react with great poise and precision. He gets slapped all over creation, avoiding people trying to step on him and a hungry rat who thinks he looks delicious.
He needs Pym to train him and he needs a lot of work as he makes a lot of mistakes along the way (as most average people would when gaining a special ability for the first time).
There’s cross-over into the Avengers world, though I won’t spoil it with details. Fans won’t be disappointed.
Paul Rudd, known for his comedic roles, was the perfect choice for the part. Meanwhile, it was great to see Michael Douglass, whose suffered health problems in recent years, back on the big screen in a major role. Thanks to some fancy effects, there is a flashback part where he’s youth-i-fied to the point where he looks like he could fight Glenn Close for boiling his bunny (aw come on, you’ve had plenty of time to watch Fatal Attraction.)
It’s been awhile since Hollywood’s attempted a good big person becomes small movie. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, is the last one I can remember.
The key to this movie is it takes itself seriously when necessary, but there’s also balance where the goofy premise is poked fun at. Epic fight scenes are shown on a small scale, where Ant-Man squares off against Yellowjacket in a daring, death defying struggle, but then panned out on a regular human sized scale their fight on a child’s train set looks like a few toys being tossed about.
Scott’s ex-con buddies who back him up also provide much comic relief.
Hollywood’s been at this one for awhile. Ant-Man was in play for at least a decade before reaching the big screen. The public had to develop a thirst for super heroes and a great team had to be put together, one that was self-aware that the concept is goofy and could portray that one the screen while also providing the high stakes, do or die situations that comic book fans love.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy
This trailer shows more of what we can expect. Batman fears Superman’s power and vows to destroy him. Plus, our first peak at Wonder Woman.
I wish I was there. If you’ve ever been, give me an earful. How do you get in? Getting a ticket or a badge or whatever probably takes a miracle, right?
Bookshelf Battle 