…but didn’t?
That’s right. Name a resolution you made in January that pooped out by March. Hey, maybe it isn’t too late to get it done by New Year’s.
…but didn’t?
That’s right. Name a resolution you made in January that pooped out by March. Hey, maybe it isn’t too late to get it done by New Year’s.
It really does, doesn’t it? I mean, how is it June 1 already? Wasn’t it just Christmas the other day? WTF, 3.5 readers? Why aren’t you creating time machines to slow down time?
There’s a disturbing new trend, 3.5 readers.
People marrying…themselves.
Can’t find the love of your life? Do all your romantic conquests leave you disappointed? Do you still want to walk down the aisle despite having no one to stand next to at the alter?
You’re in luck for you can now…marry yourself!
Yes, marry yourself. Propose to yourself. Have a ceremony with yourself that you invite all your friends and loved ones to attend. Go on a honeymoon by yourself and grow old with yourself.
After all, no one understand you more than you and no one will be there for you more than you because you’re the only one who physically can’t run away from yourself.
Anyway, I’ve been seeing stories about this popping up and I’ve never been able to tell if its on the level. Some people may just be doing it because its funny, though I would imagine there are a few dopes who actually think this is the real deal and make all sorts of serious pledges to themselves.
Something tells me that kit should include the number to the “Help Me, I’m Super Depressed” hotline.
Would you ever consider marrying yourself, 3.5 readers?
If you do, here are my questions:
#1 – If you masterbate, is that intimacy with your self-bride/self-groom or are you cheating on yourself with….yourself?
#2 – If you finally by some miracle meet someone who can stand you and you want to marry that person, will you have to divorce yourself?
#3 – If you marry yourself and have a one night stand with another person, have you cheated yourself?
#4 – If you divorce yourself, will you have to pay yourself alimony? Will you have to write a check once a month to yourself?
#5 – If you are unhappy with yourself, can you go to self-couple’s counseling?
#6 – Is this that stupid? I mean, don’t many marriages end in divorce, heartache and financial ruin, so much so that you might as well just sit at home and eat cookies with yourself?
#7 – Is this sad? Is it disturbing that marriage has declined to the point where people think this is an option?
#8 – If you have a kid and you divorce yourself, do you have to split custody of the kid between yourself and yourself?
What questions do you have about sologamy, 3.5 readers? Let me know if you plan on marrying yourselves.
Will we ever get to Mars, 3.5 readers?
If so, what will we do when we get there?
Hey 3.5 readers.
BQB here. Who else would it be?
Have any of you ever used Patreon before? Any results you care to discuss, good bad or indifferent?
I always thought of it as a way for people to be online panhandlers. “Hey, drop a few bucks into my online change cup, will ya?”
Sure, I’m working on books I hope to sell, but that will be up to all 3.5 of you if you want to buy them. Other than that, I don’t want to be begging for money and stuff. Seems cheap and tawdry.
But I noticed that some people have like incentives. For example, some writers will write stories that only their “patrons” can see by donating. In theory, I suppose that’s an actual transaction. The writer gave his work and got money. The reader gave his money and got something to read. Quid pro quo. It’s not as bad as, “Hey, I’m sitting alongside the virtual subway, harassing you till you give me some dough.”
I mean, who are these people who donate to Patreon anyway? I have literally gone without things I need just because I’m too lazy to pull out my credit card and enter the numbers in order to order it. That’s why Amazon gets so much business. They know people are lazy so they store your credit info and then you can order shit and still be lazy.
So a) I’m cheap and b) I’m lazy so I just can’t imagine finding myself to donate to someone’s Patreon. On the other hand, apparently some artists do well with it, but for whatever reason, it just seems weird to me.
In general, I want to give and get and return and not be a sponge.
What say you, 3.5?
If I’m understanding Buddhism correctly, and I probably am not, life and in particular, all of the material and greedy pursuits that we tend to seek are fleeting and impermanent, therefore they can never make us truly happy so we should either stop chasing them or if we do chase them we should not feel bad if we fail because had we succeeded we were eventually going to lose whatever it was that we were pursuing anyway.
The big house, the fancy car, the supermodel girlfriend with the giant fake boobs – these will all be lost sooner or later so rather than beat yourself up for not achieving them, focus on calmness of mind and spirit and meditate.
If your mind starts to dwell on mistakes you made in the past, mistakes you made that cause you to hate yourself because you feel they prevented you from getting the big house, the fancy car and the girlfriend with the big fake boobs, then close your eyes and mediate. Focus on your breathing, focus your mind on thinking about nothing, repeat a mantra and chant it over and over again, essentially distract your mind. You will only feel bad if you keep rehashing all of your failures in your mind. Focus instead on meditation.
It’s basically like those shirts – “Keep calm and…” Well, instead of “and drink beer” or whatever, it’s “Keep Calm and Meditate.”
Anyway, I’m sure there are better buddhists out there who could explain this better. I tend to research subjects related to novels I am working on at the moment so don’t mind me, I’ll be researching something else in the next five minutes.
Also, in theory, I feel like the girlfriend with the big fake boobs would be a calming influence but only if you could have access to the big fake boobs without the ensuing problems that go with them but let’s keep it real. She’d probably bring a lot of drama into your life, want all your money, leave you broke, cheat on you with the pool boy and so on.
Until they invent robot girlfriends with big fake boobs, meditation may be our only hope for staying calm.
What say you, 3.5 readers?
Sorry. I did not post a daily discussion with BQB yesterday.
I hate to admit it but I find myself preoccupied with all the news on TV. I should probably turn it off as it isn’t going to get better anytime soon.
Uh…hey Orlando, I thought you were the happiest place on Earth.
Eh…seems odd to not say anything about it though all of the usual “I’m offering my prayers” and so on seems nauseating.
What say you, 3.5 readers?
I believe they are. They appear to be dumb pets but secretly, they plot evil conspiracies.
Shit. Isn’t there a kids’ movie based on this?
Worst daily discussion ever. Discuss anyway.