Tag Archives: Halloween

Text of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven

Happy Halloween Season, 3.5 readers.

Enjoy this literary classic. Discuss your thoughts in the comments.

raven-silhouette-800px

The Raven

By: Edgar Allen Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!

Tagged , , , , ,

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 28 – A. Giacomi – Zombie Agent

With Your Guest Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_226147111-copy

Zombies get a bad wrap.

They’re often portrayed by the biased, anti-zombie media as being mindless brain chomping maniacs.

However, sometimes zombies are intelligent…and can even save the day.

A zombie like A. Giacomi’s Eve Brenner: Zombie Agent is the kind of zombie you’d want on your side.

Check out BQB’s interview with A. Giacomi.

And don’t forget to check out A. Giacomi’s Amazon author page.

Tagged , , , , , ,

#31WaysToDefeatAVampire – Way #28 -The Walking Dead

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

shutterstock_115775194

Bleh!

Have you been watching The Walking Dead this season, 3.5 readers?

It’s depressing as shit and if you show it to a vampire, he or she will be too depressed to bite you.

That’s it. Sorry, bleh.  When you’re getting 31 suggestions about how to defeat a vampire, they all can’t be winners.

Tagged , , , , , , ,

#31WaysToDefeatAVampire – Way #27 -Mirrors

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

shutterstock_115934428

Bleh!

It’s true, 3.5 readers.

Vampires do not cast a reflection.

Put a vampire in front of a mirror and he/she will not appear in said mirror.

Ergo, if you go look at your mirror and you do not see a vampire then look out!  That means there’s a damn vampire behind you!

Or is there?

Yes, you laugh but now you’ll always wonder if you’re not seeing someone in the mirror because there is no one there or because there’s a vampire behind you.

Muah ha ha! Muah ha ha! MUAH HA HA! I’ve ruined your mind!

Wait. What? You’d still be able to turn around in order to see if a vampire is in the room with you?

Bah. You figured it out. I’m such a douche-pire.

Tagged , , , , ,

#31WaysToDefeatAVampire – Way # 26 -Scarves

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

shutterstock_115841428

Bleh!

It’s pretty simple, 3.5 readers.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Don’t bring that bag of chips into your house and you won’t eat them.

Hide those cookies and you won’t shove them into your face hole.

And wear a scarf all year round, even in summer, and no vampires will be tempted to turn you into a snack.

Like most humans, we vampires have a tendency to binge and we often eat our feelings.

So don’t forget to hide your neck.

Oh and if scarves aren’t your thing, turtleneck sweaters work just as well.  Bleh!

 

 

Tagged , ,

#31WaysToDefeataVampire – Way #25 – David S. Pumpkins

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

cropped-shutterstock_115775161-copy.jpg

BQB can’t stop watching it.

You can’t either.

Vampires definitely can’t.

Is a vampire trying to bite you?

Just show them SNL’s David. S. Pumpkins.

Doo doo dee doo doo dee doo doo…

 

Tagged , , , , , ,

I Literally Can’t Stop Watching David S Pumpkins

Like the characters in the SNL Haunted Elevator sketch who can’t understand why David S Pumpkins is scary, I can’t figure out why this sketch is so funny.  It just is.

And I can’t stop watching it.

I’m retiring from writing, 3.5 readers.

I will now spend every second of my day watching David S. Pumpkins.

What does the S stand for? I want to know!

Tagged , , , , , , ,

#31WaysToDefeataVampire – Way #22 – Ken Bone

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

shutterstock_115934428

Bleh!

Yes, 3.5 readers!

You thought that Ken Bone was just a flash in the pan Internet sensation, didn’t you?

But he’s much more than that!

He’s also an accomplished vampire hunter.

Why do you think he wears that red sweater?

To hide all the blood from all the vampires he’s hunted, of course.

Befriend Ken Bone and vampires will never bother you as all vampires are petrified of…Ken Bone, Vampire Hunter!

Tagged , , , , , , ,

#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 22 – Zombies and TV Style Serialization

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

shutterstock_226147111-copy

Read a book or watch TV?

Watch TV or read a book?

Decisions, decisions.

Wait, I know!

Why not read TV?

“What?!”

That’s right. Many authors are presenting their novels in a serialized TV-style format.  Seasons. Cliffhangers.  Ongoing plot lines.

BQB reached out across the pond to Jolly Old England to discuss this phenomenon with British author Ryan Casey.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out Infection Z and other Ryan Casey books on Amazon.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

#31WaysToDefeatAVampire – Way #21 – Beer

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

shutterstock_115775194

Bleh!

Vampires are big time drunks.  We can’t hold our liquor.

Always keep some frosty brews in your fridge.

Toss a vampire a cold one and he’ll stop attacking you and instead he’ll just get drunk and plop down on your couch and have a sing-a-long with you.

Tagged , , , , ,