Tag Archives: Movies

Movie Review – The Woman in Gold (2015)

Nazis.  Damn they sucked.

The Woman in Gold

The Woman in Gold

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of The Woman in Gold.

Based on real events, the film follows the story of Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren) and Randol Schoenberg (Ryan Reynolds) in an underdog against the odds quest to return a famous painting once stolen by Nazi’s from Maria’s family.

The year is 1998 and Maria is an elderly boutique owner in California.  Young Randol (Randy) is the son of an old friend of Maria’s.  Randy’s a newly minted lawyer and having a rough go of it.  His practice just went under, he and his wife (played by Katie Holmes) just have a newborn baby, and he’s just managed to secure a position with a big time law firm.

It all begins with some polite free advice – Maria consults Randy about what to do in light of the fact that the Austrian government has been making an effort to return artwork stolen by the Nazi regime to their rightful owners.

The painting in question?  The much admired “Woman in Gold” painted by artist Gustav Klimt.  Over the years, it moved from Nazi hands to a public art gallery and has become beloved by the country as “the Austrian Mona Lisa.”

The Woman in Gold – Movieclips Trailers

But to Maria, it’s a picture of her dear Aunt Adele.

The movie switches back and forth from past to present.  Randy and Maria take on a government that doesn’t want to return the painting.  In the past, young Maria once lived a happy life in a prominent Jewish family, where her father played the cello and there was much singing and dancing by all.

Alas, the Nazis come to power, roll into Austria, and Jewish people are robbed blind, their homes stripped of possessions.  Nazis takeover Maria’s home and haul off all the artwork inside, including the portrait of Adele.

They’re forced to undergo all manner of humiliations, often cheered on by onlooking non-Jewish Austrians.

Maria’s family had worked hard for what they had and the Nazis took it all.  So many decades later, for the elderly Maria, the fight for the painting’s return isn’t so much about the painting itself, or about the money (its worth at the time was 150 million), it’s a desire for the Austrian government to admit it did wrong – that Austrians welcomed the Nazis into the country with open arms and openly supported the mistreatment of Jewish citizens.

In the past, we see young Maria and her husband make a heroic and daring escape out of the country, after which they make their way to America.  For the rest of her life, Maria feels resentment at those who turned Austria into a place she had to leave.  She also feels guilt for leaving her family behind, and is angry at those who made her do so.

In the more recent past, the late 90’s, we see Randy go from viewing the case as a nuisance, then a chance to make some loot when he realizes how much its worth, and finally a chance to right a past wrong.  Randy puts his career on the line and loses everything in pursuit of the case.  Meanwhile, Maria goes from wanting to pursue the case to wanting to forget it all.

It becomes an international and complicated case as Randy battles the Austrian government in Austria, and later before the U.S. Supreme Court.

Do they win?  Well…that’s a spoiler in gold, isn’t it?  Ha ha ha.

This was an interesting and enjoyable film.  It’s not getting a lot of press. It’s a film I like to call “Oscar-ish.”  Hollywood often makes Oscarish films, movies about serious subjects and give actors a chance to flex their serious role chops but for whatever reason, they don’t end up in the Oscar running.  That’s not to say this film won’t, though it is rather early in the season.

It’s also a story that needed to be told.  I’m often amazed that even after so many WWII movies, even today there are stories that are still emerging.  Maria’s family had worked hard for what they had, contributed to their society and the thanks they received was the government and their fellow citizens cheering on the Nazis in their anti-Jewish reign of terror.

Go see it, noble readers.

STATUS:  SHELF WORTHY

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Star Wars – The Force Awakens Trailer – 2

Nerds are foaming at the mouth:

EXPERT ANALYSIS BY BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER, THE NERDIEST OF THEM ALL

  • For the first time in over thirty years, Luke Skywalker and co are back on the big screen.
  • It is said that Leia has the force, which was never displayed in the films (though it makes sense)
  • Han and Chewie are back.  Han looks as good as a man in his 70s can.  Chewie has either found the fountain of youth or he dyes his fur.
  • Don’t those droids ever get updated with newer models?  I feel like I have to upgrade my phone every five minutes.
  • Harrison Ford – for the love of God, can you please stay away from the WWII planes?  Yes, we love you.  We’re glad you survived the crash.  But come on man, if you crash an antique plane (yeah yeah besides the obvious tragedy) do you realize what a bummer that would put on this awesome movie?  STAY AWAY FROM THE WWII PLANES!
  • Enormous crashed Star Destroyer!
  • Luke’s robot hand on R2D2’s head!
  • Darth Vader’s crushed helmet!
  • X-Wings!
  • Tie Fighters!

It looks great!  This Christmas…celebrate the birth of Christ and…yeah yeah yeah bring on STAR WARS!

Meanwhile, the first six films are available on digital download for the first time in forever.  Have you downloaded any of them yet?  Which one is your favorite?

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Movie Review – Chappie – (2015)

Sigh.  I really wanted to like this one.

Director Neil Blomkamp hit a home run his first time at bat with 2009’s District 9, attracting a rare Oscar nomination for a Sci-Fi flick.  Critics weren’t big on his follow-up Elysium with Matt Damon but this blogger thought it was actually pretty decent.

So when I saw previews about a movie starring a bad ass police robot with Hugh Jackman as the villain, I was all like, “Sign me up!”

But after seeing it?  Ugh.  Where do I start?

OK.  If you want no SPOILERS leave now.

“Suck” is a strong word.  It wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen and it did have its up moments.  “Suck” is often in the eye of the beholder.  And an ongoing theme of this blog is that I cheer on artists of all kinds in the hopes that said art will find a home in the hearts of people who will appreciate it.

So, I only use the word “suck” in correlation to what I was expected and what I received.

I was expecting an off brand Robo-cop.  What I got was a  robot with a childish brain spending most of the movie waxing philosophically about the meaning of its existence.

I can’t really explain it without digging into the plot, so here goes.

Deion (Dev Patel) is an engineer for a corporation that builds police robots for the South African government.  One day, he develops a program for a true AI, an intelligence that will allow a robot to be able to think like a human (more so, actually).

The CEO, played by Sigourney Weaver, is not interested and orders Deion not to use company equipment to experiment with his AI program.  Odd that the head of a for-profit company would balk at an idea that would revolutionize the robotics industry but, ok.

Against orders, Deion implants his program into a broken down police robot headed for the scrap pile.

Oh, I forgot to mention, he does this after he is kidnapped by Ninja and Yolandi, two gangster criminals who cook up a scheme to kidnap the engineer in the hopes that he can provide them with a remote control they can use to shut the police robots off and commit crimes with reckless abandon.  The gangsters abandon the remote control idea and Ninja wants to use the robot, which they name Chappie, to help with a heist that will be used to repay money owed to an even worse criminal.

Here’s where things start to get odd.  Deion goes along with it and ok…what choice does he have?  They’re criminals with guns and shit.

But then – from time to time, Deion just comes back to the criminals lair to talk to Chappie and help him with his development.

Well ok – Deion has stolen a company owned robot against orders so that’s understandable he doesn’t want to call the cops on Ninja and Yolandi.

But then – Ninja and Yolandi just kind of like, let Deion come and go as he pleases.  I feel like most gangsters probably would have just shot him.

Chappie was born the instant his AI program was switched on so there’s a learning curve.  He’s basically a kid in a robot body and everything in the world is new to him.  There are some funny moments when Ninja teaches him how to swear and act like a gangster but other than that…eh, it’s…I don’t know.  “Eh” is the best word I can use to describe it.

Ok…so its a goofy set up.  It gets better right?  Nah…while there are some good action scenes, a great deal of the film is spent on Chappie learning about morals, the soul, the purpose of being alive, how people should treat one another, and so on.

Maybe that’s good.  Maybe there are people who will enjoy that.  Maybe Sci-Fi should make you think and maybe it doesn’t always have to be mindless special effects.

But me personally? I came into this film expecting a 2 hour bad ass police robot film and instead I got Chappie in bed with Yolandi (who he believes is his mother) reading Ba Ba Black Sheep to him:

Chappie and Yolandi  - Sony Pictures

Chappie and Yolandi – Sony Pictures

Stop reading, Chappie.  I know.  I’m a book blogger.  But seriously, stop reading.  Stop painting.  Stop philosophizing.  Be a badass already.

Fun fact that I didn’t realize until I went home and Googled the film – Ninja and Yolandi are actually two members of the South African rap group Die Antwoord.  I’d never heard of them before, probably because I’m not South African.  Their rap names are actually Ninja and Yolandi and they play fictional versions of themselves in the movie.

After finding that out, I felt like the movie was one big joke that Blomkamp didn’t let me in on because I’m not South African and had never heard of Die Antwoord before.

Imagine if they made a movie where Nicki Minaj and Kanye West became the parents of a robot with a childish brain.  That’d be kind of hilarious.  Had I known who Ninja and Yolandi were prior to going into the movie, I might have found the whole thing a laugh riot (though I’m not sure a comedy was the director’s intent).

Admittedly, I might be broadcasting my lameness since these guys are apparently tearing up the inter webs.

If South African rap interests you, their vids are on youtube.  They’re a bit…well…”out there.”  No offense, I think I’ll stick with good old traditional Ludacris and Fiddy regaling me with tales about their trips to the club, their love of Cristal, spinning rims and so on.

That’s not a knock on Ninja and Yolandi though – they may be the only redeeming part of the movie, if there is one.

In conclusion – I gave it a solid C.  Probably not something you want to rush out to the theater for but you might give it a rental in the hopes that Neil Blomkamp can be encouraged to bring us another project of District 9 proportions.

That grade was hard for me to give.  My regular 3.5 readers know I hate to criticize and there may very well be people who love this movie and I’m glad for them but…meh…I think it is the first bit of media I’ve reviewed thus far that will not find its way on my shelf.

PS:  What constitutes good science fiction is often debated.  Some think that a sci fi flick should just be mindless laser blasting, space opera, and little else.  Am I therefore being one of these people by criticizing Chappie?  I suppose so, though it’s not my intention.  I didn’t like it, but I can see why others might.

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“Throwing Out George RR Martin” Isn’t a Good Thing

Sonia Saraiya of Salon.com argues that the television version Game of Thrones’ upcoming deviation from George RR Martin’s books is a good thing.

I have to disagree.

I agree that sometimes everything in a book won’t transfer well to television.

On the other hand, while GRRM didn’t invent the fantasy genre, he is a pioneer of a sub-genre, namely – “Fantasy for Adults.”  His career is one of the many reasons why we have books set in fantasy worlds where the hero doesn’t always save the day, unicorns don’t talk, and all sorts of chicanery ensues, thus keeping the attention of the adult reader.

So while it’s understood the show creators might feel necessary to deviate from the source material, let’s not cast GRRM aside as if he’s some kind of bumbling old-timer.

“Plans” and “life” are two concepts that do not get along.  In life, you might get up everyday and work toward a plan.  You and your friends cheer yourself along.  Then one day – boom – an accident, a catastrophic illness, or some other unforeseen event happens and that’s it.  Goodbye plan.  Adios progress that was being celebrated and cheered on.

We cheered on Robb Stark as the inexperienced underdog won victory after victory against the veteran and fully bankrolled Tywin Lannister.  We hoped this progress would eventually lead to a final battle in which Robb emerges victorious and the North becomes a separate state.

That was the plan…and then…bam!  Throat cut at a wedding…just moments after the host went out of his way to make the Starks feel welcomed and assured them that there were no hard feelings about his daughters being dissed.

Like the gambler who hides an ace up his sleeve, that trick should only work once.  OK GRRM.  We’re onto you now.  You won’t lull us in to a false sense of security again.  We know you’re up to something and…oh hey look.  The Viper just beat the Mountain….good for him…OH MY GOD!!!

M. Night Shyamalan knocked our socks off with the twist at the end of The Sixth Sense.  I remember watching it, thinking it was an ok but average, mediocre movie until…OH MY GOD!  BRUCE WILLIS’ CHARACTER WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!  (Shut up, you’ve had so long to watch that movie, spoilers, schmoilers).

Shyamalan then went on to attempt to recreate that twist in a series of movies that fizzled.

The Village – the monsters in the old timey village are just people who dress up to scare the people from wandering off and realizing that the village exists as an enclave in the modern world.  BOOO!  DUMB!

The Happening  – the plague killing off the world was created by plants, their revenge for the way they are treated by humans.  BOO!  STUPID TWIST!  STOP MAKING MOVIES!  BOO!

Shyamalan just could not recreate that first brilliant twist.  GRRM keeps doing it again and again.  That is why he’s brilliant.

I’m not saying the show will be terrible as it starts to move away from GRRM’s books….but the show runners do have some enormous shoes to fill.

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Movie Review – Fast and Furious 7 (2015)

Fast cars?  Check!

Ridiculous action sequences?  Check!

Rap music?  Check!

Hot babes?  Check!

Catchy one liners?  Check!

Copious amounts of testosterone?  Better believe that’s a check.

Plot?  Ehhh…

Fasten your seat belt and hit your nitrous switch, it’s time for my review of Fast and Furious 7.

But be forewarned…the spoilers are going to come…at a fast and furious pace!  (:::rimshot:::)

Cars jumping out of planes?  Sure, that could probably happen…

BQB:  Yeti, what did you think of the movie?

THE YETI:  I did not understand the plot.  I have not seen parts 1-7.  Did a scientist unleash a chemical that turned most of the characters into a bunch of angry jacked bald men?

BQB:  What?

THE YETI:  The Rock, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, Djimon Honsou…like 90% of the cast are a bunch of cueballs!

BQB:  I’m pretty sure that’s the great cosmic deal, Yeti.  The universe can make a badass, but in exchange, you have to give up your hair.

THE YETI:  The film company must have saved a mint on shampoo costs alone.

Paul Walker

Let’s get the sad part out of the way first.  Paul Walker passed away during the film’s production in a tragic car crash (sadly and ironically, on his own time).  Since he plays a main character (Brian) in these films, would the continuity of the film suffer without him became the question on the minds of movie buffs.

THE YETI:  BQB, do you think the continuity of the movie suffered due to Paul Walker’s unfortunate passing?

BQB:  Good question, Yeti.  That was just on my mind.  No, I don’t think it did.  Going into it, I assumed his character would somehow leave mid-film, but he stays right to the end, so apparently a great deal was taped before the world lost this action star.

I would be interested in learning what had to be done to compensate for his passing.  Toward the end of the film, there are some action sequences that take place in the dark, and “Brian” is either seen from far away, or if his face is on screen, it’s only for a split second between various karate moves.  That made me wonder whether a stunt double was utilized or if that was just the intent of the scene since it took place at night in a dark building.

In other words, there are times when I’m not sure whether or not it was Paul and I don’t want to diss Paul if in fact he was in said scenes.

There is a scene at the end where Dom and Paul do their usual “pull up to each other at the end” and have a heart-to-heart talk.  There, the scene did look like footage taken of Paul in the past.

And whereas these movies usually end with Dom and Paul drag racing, they instead, drive off, going their separate ways…Dom to continue his life as a bad ass, Brian to be a husband and Dad.

Aww.  Tear.

Obviously, I care more about Walker’s life than an action movie, but from a critic’s perspective, I did not think that Walker’s death impacted the overall quality of the film and in my eye anyway, I did not notice any defects or flaws caused to the film.  Any changes they had to make were minor or barely noticeable.

Great question, Yeti.  Do you have any others?

THE YETI:  Yes.  Were there any sad scenes made even sadder due to Walker’s passing?

BQB:  Indeed there were, Yeti.  There’s a scene where Brian has a heartfelt phone conversation with Mia, where she tells her husband that the way he’s talking makes it sound like he’s never coming home and well, that becomes more depressing now that we know Walker is not coming home.

There’s also a montage of Walker through the years in the past 7 movies, dating back to 2001 and it’s just amazing how you don’t recognize it while it’s happening, but people really do grow and change over the course of a decade.

One more thing – Walker left one more movie behind.  Last year’s Brick Mansions, was, in my opinion, another must see flick for fans of urban action films.

Alright then.  Let’s move from the sad to the awesome.

Obviously, with these films, you check your thinking cap at the door.  In fact, here’s my thought process with every outlandish stunt I see:

BQB:  Oh, come on.  That could never happen!  Cars jumping out of planes?  Preposterous!  Through buildings?  Get out of here!  That defies all laws of science and physics and…OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!! DO IT AGAIN!

Nope, you don’t go for the plot.  You go for the action and special effects.

THE YETI:  Why do they bother pulling all of these fast car jobs when they have so many skills?  Driving skills, computer skills, planning skills…

BQB:  Shut up, Yeti.

I dare say that the scene where Dom jumps a 3.5 million dollar plus car through three buildings (as in it exits out one window, jumps a large expanse, does it again, then ends up in a third building).

THE YETI:  What did you think of Kurt Russell?

BQB:  You’re full of questions, aren’t you, Yeti?  Personally, I think the Rock is awesome and let’s be honest, he saved this franchise.  I get the impression that the Rock enjoys Hobbs, a character who is unapologetic about his awesomeness.

Therefore, it was sad to see Hobbs get laid up in the hospital for most of the film, with Kurt Russell taking over as the agent that convinces Dom’s crew to pull a job.  That being said, Russell did a great job and he was awesome.

At one point, I was left wondering about the overall question of what makes a movie great.  Let’s face it.  Flicks like this one will never win an Academy Award and yet when you think about it, with all the stunts, action, special effects and so on…there’s probably more moving parts and issues to coordinate than, say Birdman.

And while I’m not saying, “Let’s give Fast and Furious an Oscar!” I am saying that F and F 7 is a better film than Birdman.

Yup.  I’m sorry.  I said it.  Had F and F 7 come out in 2014 it would of been more deserving of an Oscar than Birdman.

Other notables:

  • Game of Thrones fans will be pleased to see Nathalie Emmanuel aka the Khaleesi’s translator Missandei in a major on screen role.
  • Did anyone else think “If it is possible for this franchise to have a “Jump the Shark” moment, that it might have been the part where the crew jumps out of plane in their cars and somehow they all manage to land on one road in perfect formation?
  • Why are their cars constantly being sprayed with bullets and yet they never die?
  • Was the Rock’s epic fight in the beginning with Jason Statham the best thing ever?
  • Has anyone figured out why so many musclebound dudes go bald?

THE YETI:  But it’s so stupid.  They drive cars.  They blow stuff up.  Constant chaos.  It reminds me of the Yeti village.

BQB:  Again, suspend your concerns about plot and substance at the door.  These films are basically one big on screen thrill ride.  They might as well make the seats shake it charge admission to it at Disney World.

THE YETI:  Are you going to talk about Paul Walker again before you go?

BQB:  Yes.  So, on this blog, I talk a lot about heroes for average people – folks that the ordinary man can look up to.  Now, Walker was an above averagely good looking movie star, so obviously we can’t call him average.

But here’s what sets him apart from other action stars.  There’s a scene where he takes on a bus full of terrorists while wearing a hoodie.  That may not seem like much, but think about other movies where the hero wears a uniform, or a bullet proof vest or armor or something.

Maybe I’m just reading too much into it but when you see a good guy taking out bad guys while wearing ordinary street clothes, it makes me think that maybe that could inspire moviegoers to become better than average.

You too can do awesome things in just your hoodie and jeans.  But, you know, just don’t try to take out a bunch of terrorists by yourself.  Duh.

I’ll be interested to see what direction the series goes in from here, if it does continue at all.  As discussed above, it was left that Brian drove off in his own direction to become a family man.  I think that was a good decision because to kill the character off would have been a bit macabre given the the actor’s tragic passing.

Will the crew go on without Brian?  Will they hang up their stick shifts and call it quits?  Time will tell.  But all in all, they were faced with a difficult task – deliver an over the top action blockbuster while remaining respectful to the loss of one of the main stars…and it delivered.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.  RIP Paul Walker.  You will be missed.

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Fast and Furious 8 – Yeti Drifters – Part 2

DOM:  We’ve all flown to Toyko, first class.  We’ve rented a warehouse to be our lair.  We’ve purchased ten high end tricked out sports cars to drive and we’ve rigged a state of the art computer system to monitor the entire caper.

LUDACRIS:  Question.

DOM:  Yeah?

LUDACRIS:  If we’ve got so much money that we can easily buy all this shit, why are we running around committing car crimes, driving through buildings and off bridges and getting blasted at by tanks and shit?

DOM:  That’s actually a pretty good question.

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Fast and Furious 8 – Yeti Drifters

DOM (VIN DIESEL):  This is it, family.  One last ride.

TEJ (LUDACRIS – Cuz, really, who remember these character names?  I hate to look them up on IMDB): You said that already!  We’ve had like 7 last rides now!  We’ve been last riding since Bush’s first term!!!

LETTY:  (Michelle Rodriquez) – Yeah, I thought our last ride days were over a couple movies ago so I let the writers kill my character over.  She had to be resurrected when the movies started making big bucks again.

ROMAN (TYRESE):  Something funny!

HOBBS (THE ROCK):  Toretto, you son of a bitch.  You and your crew have cut such a wide path of destruction with your car crimes that as head of the anti-car crime task far, I should throw your asses in car crime jail for a million years!

DOM:  But we’re family!

HOBBS:  Your crew’s working for me now.  There’s a new duo in town:  BQB and The Yeti:  Tokyo Drifters.

ROMAN:  You mean they’re homeless hobos who wander the streets of Tokyo aimlessly?

HOBBS:  No.  The other kind of drifter.

DOM:  Why should we listen to you?

HOBBS:  Because I saved the franchise!

CUT TO:  TOYKO

:::LUDACRIS RAP SONG PLAYS::::

FAST ASS YETI

As rapped by Ludacris

God damn, that fur be flyin!

Hairy dude’s rollin and I aint lyin.

He’s gonna win the race I’m willing to bet-tee

Look out y’all, here comes the Yeti!

(Bookshelf Q. Battler in a tricked out muscle car vs. The Yeti stuffed into a tiny Nissan sports car)

BQB:  (revving the engine)  I’m gonna wipe the road with your hairballs, Yeti!

YETI:  Roar!  I’m the Yeti!

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SNL – The Rock as Bambi

As a lover of action movies who will be there opening night for Fast 7, this was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time:

“Wham…bam…Bambi!”

“I’m always thumpin…”

“Yeah, it’s always somethin'”

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RE: The Plane Crash in France

In today’s hypersensitive world, it is necessary to be clear and spell out exactly what you mean.

So, let me be clear I’m not condoning anyone killing themselves.

My question is – these people who kill themselves and take out others in the process in horrifying ways that make the news….if they feel the need to kill themselves, why can’t they just kill themselves and leave  everyone else alone?

I’m not saying anyone should kill themselves.  It would be better if troubled people just get help and learn how to fight their demons.

But I just don’t get it and sadly, stuff like this just happens more and more lately.

To quote Morgan Freeman’s Detective Somerset’s quotation of Ernest Hemingway from the movie Seven:

‘The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’  I agree with the second part.

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Donate Meow

Had I been able to afford the $600 required to get Broken Lizard to tape a 45 second video written by me (now sold out):

The Super Troopers in the station, reading books.

FARVA:  What’re all you chickenf$%kers doing?

THORNY:  We’re reading books.

RABBIT:  Yeah, they were recommended by Bookshelf Q. Battler

FARVA:  What?  That a-hole only has 3.5 readers what does he know?

MAC:  You don’t even know how to read, Farva.

FARVA:  Do too!  (grabs a book)  – “It was…uh…the best…of times?  It was the…ahh f$%k it I’m going to Dimpus Burger.”

I don’t know.  Something like that.  Short and sweet.  Not much you can do in 45 seconds.  Alas, I couldn’t justify dropping 600 bucks, as awesome as it would have been.

Anyway, the original  Super Troopers movie was great and I’m glad to see the Broken Lizard boys are back at it.  They started a campaign on Indiegogo to raise $2 million to create a sequel and met the goal on their first day.  Now the more they collect, the better the movie will be.

Super Troopers 2 Indiegogo Site

I’m amazed technology has reached the point where people can do this.

I talk about self-publishing on this blog a lot.  Indie Movie Makers are basically the self-publishers of Hollywood, right?

In conclusion, I want a liter of cola.  Shenanigans.

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