Warm Up #2 – Famous Last Words
Choose your own setting and characters and write a scene that ends with someone saying your choice of:
“I’d love just a dab of potatoes au gratin for they are delightful this time of year.”
“What? How dare Prince Montgomery imply that I resemble a baboon’s backside during mating season?”
“You never know what’s in your pockets until you check.”
“Ow! I can’t believe you slapped me in the face with a radioactive hemorrhoid donut pillow!”
“Why did you kill Artie? He was so handsome and kind and he smelled like peppermint schnapps.”
“I’ll take one of those and one of those and three of those.”
“Had I known this party was going to be such a torrid affair I would have attended sans pantaloons.”
“Avast, ye scurvy dog! Walk the plank ye dirty scoundrel, for it’s off to Davy Jones’ locker with ye, arr.”
“Damn baby, we gots to do this again.”
“Don’t trip just because I look so good.”
“I hate these shoes. They squeak too much and they smell terrible.”
“Has anyone seen my squirrel’s nut sack? He never leaves his tree hole without it.”
“Well, that’s the last time I visit Cucamonga without a fiver and a fifth of tequila.”
“Hey you with the face!”
“Oh yeah? You and what army?”
“You’ll never take me alive, copper!”
“Three strikes! You’re out!”
“It only rains on Tuesdays in December.”
“What a woman. I’ll never meet another one like her.”
“What a man. I hope I never meet a doofus like him again.”
“All aboard the Titanic!”
“I think I left my sandwich in my other genes.”
“Do you really love me?”
“If the Count has a problem with me, he can tell me himself.”
“I enjoy causing large, obnoxious explosions and walking away slowly without looking back at them because I am an action movie badass and that’s what action movie badasses do.”
“Paging Miss Womtana. Miss Womtana, you are needed in suite three.”
“It’s a good day to slurp ice cream.”
“It’s a good day to quit watching game shows.”
“It’s a good day to die.”
“It’s a good day to come back to life.”
“It’s a good day to sleep in my barcalounger.”
“Who sings this song?”
“I can’t believe we’ll never see Murray again.”
“One lobster with extra butter please.”
“That schmuck was the lousiest tipper I’ve ever seen.
“Whoa. I can’t believe you wore that out of your house. Go back and change.”
“Only one more minute till the tuna turns on his flashlight.”
“Brother, can you spare a packet of soy sauce?”
“If Jim wants a divorce then no one is stopping him.”
“I’ll sue!”
“Ma’am, would you mind handing me the taco salad?”
“If I live for a thousand years I’ll never understand this.”
“That guy is the worst.”
“Laurie? Sure, I know Laurie. Face like a science experiment gone wrong, but a sweet gal. The kind of gal you want to hold hands with on a park bench and swap stories with until you’re both old and gray.”
“Doug left me with Chad and Chad is insane.”
“Freud could study you for a year and still not figure out why you’re bonkers.”
“Lady, I have no idea why you’re constipated.”
“Surprise!”
“That’s just life in the big city.”
“Swell. That’s just swell.”
“I think I love you but I better check with Aunt Matilda just to be sure.”
“Fantastic heist, gang. Let’s meet back at the hideout in an hour and nobody do anything stupid, capiche?”
“Sorry, I broke character again.”
“I’ve met the Duke of Tuscany. I’ve eaten caviar with the Duke of Tuscany. The Duke of Tuscany is the best friend I have ever known and we have frolicked naked in the strawberry fields many times together. You, my good man, are not the Duke of Tuscany.”
“Cripes! I’ve been shot!”
“Waldo is a jerk. Let’s never ask him for butter again.”
“I’m lost.”
“Who moved my cheddar biscuit?
“Larry, why don’t you just ask for directions already?”
“Kate, I want you to marry me. You’re the only one I want to move to the Bronx with.”
“Well whoop-dee-friggin-doo. Let’s like we got a real boy scout on our hands here, fellas.”
“As God as my witness, I’ll never drink that much again.”
“Girl, you ain’t all that a box of cookies.”
“‘Ello guvnah.”
“Platypus – the other white meat.”
“Oh no! The killer is coming this way! I know! I’ll run upstairs and take a shower!”
“Marvin? Never heard of the guy.”
“I think you need to back off.”
“Sir, you are certifiably bananas.”
“What a wild goose chase that ones.”
“Did anyone think there would be ducks on the moon?”
“Best car on the market.”
“I’ll see your ten and raise you twenty and a pocket watch worn once by a guy I met on a bus.”
“I feel funny.”
“I smelly funny.”
“You look funny.”
“Funny is as funny does.”
“Sure, you can dance, but do you know how to sing?”
“Don’t cry for me. I’ve been to New Jersey.”
“Oh Lana, will you ever stop playing canasta long enough to realize that I matter?”
“Why?”
“Who is that running through the gymnasium in a gregarious manner?”
“That’s the last time I pay a contractor up front.”
“I can do this for days.”
“Jupiter is my favorite planet in the solar system.”
“I am not to be taken lightly.”
“I will not drink flat soda.”
“Love is for suckers.”
“What have you done?”
“I want to make an honest woman out of you.”
“Hey baby, nice tea kettle. Does it whistle when its hot?”
“Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore!”
“It aint over till the fat lady sings.”
“If Jasmine wants a quiche, Jasmine gets a quiche.”
“I’m tired of running.”
“I’ll never talk! I’m no squealer and nothing you do will make me turn rat.”
“What a wonderful day in Idaho.”
“If looks could kill I’d be in perfect health.”
“What a silly bunch of idiots we’ve got in this neck of the woods.”
“I’ll never speak to you again. Call me Thursday.”
“If it aint broke, don’t fix it.”
“Why did you take all the pudding?”
“This is perfectly safe.”
“What a fine predicament you’ve gotten us into.”
“Don’t worry. Lenny will fix everything.”
“Cash only. No credit.”
“There are so many naked people in this room it was just declared a nudist colony.”
“I need a fresh pair of underwear.”
“Clean up on aisle seven.”
“Well sure, it works now!”
“Well, I never!”
“Why don’t you look me in the eye when you say that?”
“We’re all gathered her today to remember the life of our dear friend.”
“I hate you.”
“I want to see you again.”
“Let’s meet at this very spot in twenty years if neither of us is married.”
“Let’s meet at this very spot in twenty years if neither of us has tried swordfish by then. I hear a good sautéed swordfish steak is delicious.”
“Let’s just throw caution to the wind and be together now and forgot about meeting in this spot in twenty years.”
“You’re an animal! Do you hear me? An animal!”
“That worked out well.”
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“What a fine kettle of fish.”
“Never trust an imbecile to deal cards.”
“Love never strikes twice.”
“And I lived to tell the tale.”
“Oh Betsy, why do you do this to me?”
“Ring me sometime.”
“I got the blues.”
“I can’t catch a break.”
“Who are you looking at?”
“I caught a walrus. I let it go. Man was not meant to own a walrus.”
“You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but what some ignoramus would want a bunch of flies to begin with I’ll never know.”
“Oh sweetheart, don’t cry. Tell me all about it.”
“Hello, police? I’d like to report a robbery.”
“I just read the most fascinating book.”
“Do you come here often?”
“And that’s how I saved the duchess from the jaws of a hungry T-Rex.”
Bookshelf Battle 