Daily Archives: April 12, 2015

Apr 12 2015
4 Comments
Game of Thrones

Previously on Game of Thrones…

A brief rehash of where the series stood as of the last episode of Season 4:

  • Jamie came to Tyrion’s aid, releasing him from the dungeon.  On his way out, Tyrion strangled Shay and shot his father, Tywin, while he was sitting on…the throne.  Quite an undignified end for one of the land’s most feared noblemen.
  • Lord Varys sneaks Tyrion onto a ship headed across the Narrow Sea.  Hearing bells ring, indicating Tywin’s death, Varys decides to join the journey rather than stick around.
  • Jamie’s still kind of bummed about the loss of his hand.
  • The remaining Stark children are scattered to the winds.  Bran is apparently going to be carried around by Hodor until the end of time.  Sansa has found a mentor in Littlefinger, from whom she learns how to plot and scheme.  Arya is Bravos bound.
  • Brienne of Tarth survived a battle royale with the Hound.  It was one of the most daring scenes of television, at times looking like it could have been anyone’s win.  In the words of the great Stone Cold Steve Austin, “It was a real two-fisted slobberknocker.”
  • Stannis, rather than continue on his quest to take the Iron Throne, heads to the Wall to assist the Night’s Watch in defeating a raid on Castle Black.  Makes sense.  You can’t take a kingdom for yourself if wildlings have taken it already.
I should just peel that Target sticker off. It is annoying.

I should just peel that Target sticker off. It is annoying.

That’s all I remember.  If you think of something I missed, feel free to share.

As a reminder, I’m going to be discussing Game of Thrones all season long.  GOT fans are welcome to join in the discussion.

And while you’re at it, feel free to include a plug for your book, blog, whatever the heck you’re working on.

Valor Morghulis.  Season 5 starts tonight.

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Apr 12 2015
5 Comments
Self Publishing

Wattpad

Who has experience using Wattpad that they’d like to share?  I am thinking about dipping my toe in that interesting water and would like to hear from those who have done so.

EDIT:  I am now on Wattpad.  You were all too slow and I did not wait for your advice.  That being said, please share it anyway.  You can look me up as “Bookshelf Q. Battler” and follow me on Wattpad.

Thank you.  May the watts be in your favor.

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Apr 12 2015
13 Comments
Ask the Alien

Ask The Alien – 4/12/15

ALIEN JONES:  I really don’t want to do this.

BQB:  Will you just shut up and put on your suit of armor and helmet?

ALIEN JONES:  No.  I hail from the most intelligent species in the universe.  We cured cancer, heart disease, and excessive gastrointestinal distress.  I’m not going to walk around like I’m in a damn Renaissance Faire.

BQB:  Please?  It’ll spike my readership from 3.5 to 10.12.

ALIEN JONES:  Sigh.  Fine.

Sigil of House Jones

Sigil of House Jones

Verily, forsooth and so forth.  It is I, Lord Alien of House Jones.

ALIEN JONES:  Lord Alien of House Jones?  Seriously?

BQB:  Will you?  Please?  OK?  Seriously.

Sigh.  Fine.  Lord Alien of House Jones here, taking your questions in my ongoing effort to raise your planet out of its exceptionally stupid status.

Apologies that my column has been out of commission for a couple of weeks.  Luckily, my memory receptors have not forgotten who asked what.

Kim Magennis of the blog Whimsy had two questions:

1)  Was Nikola Tesla one of yours?

No.  He was just a random Serbian guy who was hijacked by rogue aliens.  He managed to escape and passed off the knowledge he saw on their ship as his own.

Many human inventors have done the same.  That guy that made the Sham-wow?  Totally an alien invention.  You really think a human made cloth can suck up an entire gallon of milk?  Please.

2) Another question for Alien Jones: out of place artifacts (like that hammer in made from an alloy of iron which was found inside a “100 million” year old rock and the 100,000 Years Old Stone Embedded With A Three-Pronged Plug) are they pranks or the real thing?

(Read more) 

Three possibilities:

1)  Some of it is just human junk that got mixed into ancient rocks due to human incompetence.  For example, that plug was just left there by an archaeologist trying to find a place to charge his Kindle Fire.

2)  Some of it is alien junk.  Many aliens are slobs and just chuck their trash wherever they please.

3)  Some of the items were left as pranks.  Young aliens especially have been known to go out on a Friday night, flying around the Cosmos with a bottle of space hooch and a bag of screws, dropping them all over primitive planets, only to laugh about it thousands of years later when scientists print longwinded papers about them.

BQB:  Lord Alien of House Jones!  Behold!  A raven brings a tweet from the land of Twitter!

ALIEN JONES:  Are we really going to do this crap for all of Game of Thrones Season 5?

BQB: Tara Ellis, Author of Bloodline:  Forgotten Origins Trilogy, now available on Amazon, tweeted:

BQB:  March 27 that tweet came in and here you are responding to it on April 10.

ALIEN JONES:  Need I remind you I was hit by a space bus?

BQB:  Oh yeah.  How are you doing?

ALIEN JONES:  I’m fine.  You should see the bus!  :::rimshot:::

BQB:  AJ, Tara’s book is about alien viruses.  Can you elaborate on the subject?

ALIEN JONES:  Why?  Do I look like a dirty virus carrying alien or something?

BQB:  No I just thought…

ALIEN:  Yeah, yeah…you “thought.”  Just because some aliens have viruses we must all have viruses!  That’s some backward thinking man.

This book seems like a fine tale worth a download.  In the opening paragraph, Ellis lets the reader know a) the narrator’s father had something bad happen to him whilst in Egypt and b)  said father wasn’t the type to go down easily, thus a mystery ensues!

Thank you Kim and Tara for your interest in #AskTheAlien.  Lord Alien of House Jones signing off now, taking a break from what will be apparently a long season of dealing with GOT fanboy Bookshelf Q. Battler.

Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Submit it to Bookshelf Q. Battler via a tweet to @bookshelfbattle, leave it in the comment section on this site, or drop it off on the Bookshelf Battle Google + page. If AJ likes your question, he might promote your book, blog, or other project while providing his answer.

Submit your questions by midnight Friday each week for a chance to be featured in his Sunday column. And if you don’t like his response, just let him know and he’ll file it into the recycling bin of his monolithic super computer. No muss, no fuss, no problem.

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