Bookshelf Battle

Hey 3.5 readers.

Do you stumble upon this blog by accident? Were you looking for directions on how to get away from here?

Anyway, the world of Bookshelf Q. Battler can be very confusing. Here is a rudimentary guide that you should read immediately.

Drop everything you are doing, study it intently, and allow all other important doings in your life to be neglected.

Sorry 3.5 readers.

I never did post the answers to this, did I?

The answers:

1) C – Uncle Hardass believes there’s no tougher job in the world than working at the salt mines. Whether you are president or a toilet scrubber, if you tell him you have a job anywhere other than the salt mines, he will address you as if you are a lazy bum that has no job.

2) B – BQB was a member of the Funky Hunks. He still gets checks for 3 cent residuals once a year. Some lady in North Dakota keeps buying the Funky Hunks’ jams.

3) B – BQB’s main squeeze is the incomparable Video Game Rack Fighter.

4) D – BQB is the assistant to the assistant to the vice-president of corporate assistance at Beige Corp., the world’s premeire producer of beige products and accessories. It is as exciting as the color the company is dedicated to.

5) B – Indeed, BQB died on the porcelain throne after eating a lightning infused toaster pastry. A bolt of lighting tore out of his tucas with roughly the strength and speed of a thousand jet engines. God allowed him to return for a second chance at life and he has used this chance to entertain 3.5 readers.

6) A – Leo claims to have once delivered a sandwich to James Van Der Beek and therefore as the man who delivered a sandwich to James Van Der Beek, claims that he is the most famous man in East Randomtown. Further, he sees BQB’s blog with 3.5 readers as a threat to his fame.

7) D – The Burger Wagon has not yet sponsored this fine blog, but BQB is currently in negotiations.

8) D – Yetis, backward in technology as they are, prefer Commodore 64s.

9) D – Dr. Hugo invented all three of these fine inventions.

10) C – Intergalactic fast food workers are no better than the ones we have on Earth. The Mighty Potentate has often threatened Alien Jones with vaporization for failing to bring back honey mustard for his chicken fingers.

Really, you hate to be a dick, but you’ve got to look in that bag before you pull away from the window. Don’t trust those minimum wage slaves. They don’t make enough to care about your taste buds.