Daily Archives: June 11, 2016

How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 110

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The soldiers fired at the rampaging werewolves, but their bullets, with nary a trace of silver in them, were of no use. The wolves just kept coming.

All order was lost. The women gave up on the line and ran towards Illinois. Even some of the men, upon noticing that the soldiers’ attention was diverted, added to the madness by running across the bridge.

Major Culpepper rattled his saber high above his head.

“Halt, filthy dog monsters!” the Major yelled. “By authority of the President of the United States, I command you to…”

“I don’t think they’re listening, sir,” Bartlett said as he emptied his pistol at the werewolves. “And shooting at them is pointless.”

Bartlett snapped to attention and saluted his commanding officer.

“We’ll die with dignity, then sir, for a good soldier would never…”

“Retreat!” Major Culpepper shouted with roughly the same tone of a crying school girl. “Run for your lives! Every man for himself!”

“Oh Hell,” Bartlett said as he ran behind his fearless leader.

The werewolves made it to the bridge. They slashed soldiers and innocent bystanders alike.

Doc flicked his wrists to draw his six-shooters. He was about to take aim at a henchwolf when he felt a tug at his arm.

“Come on!” Annabelle urged him. “Now’s your chance.”

The good doctor surveyed the bridge. So many men were fleeing now. It would have been so easy for him to have joined them.

But then he spotted the Major and the Corporal running towards a very confused Robards.

Each officer gave a the demolition expert a different order.

“Blow the bridge!” the Corporal hollered. “Now! Before it’s too late!”

“Damn it, man!” the Major shouted. “Keep your grimy hands off that plunger until I’m on the other side!”
“What are you two yammering about?” were the last words Robards spoke before Mayhew’s teeth chomped through his carotid artery, spraying blood all over the faces of the Major and the Corporal.

Mayhew pulled the detonation box out of Robards’ hand just before the body of the demolition expert hit the ground. Then he looked at Culpepper and Bartlett and snarled.

“You there!” the clueless Culpepper bellowed. “That is official government property! Set it down at once!”

“But carefully,” Bartlett added.

An indecisive Doc stared at the unfolding chaos between the werewolves and the soldiers, then back to Annabelle’s sweet face. To the soldiers. To Annabelle. Back and forth went his head until he saw Mayhew’s henchwolves reach their claws into Culpepper and Bartlett’s backs and rip out their entrails.

“Woooooo! Wooooooo!”

The train was getting close. It’s whistle was carrying through the air.

With the fate of the nation resting in the paws of a damn dirty werewolf, Doc knew what he had to do.

He snuck one last kiss from and one last glance at his beloved.

“Remember me, my dear.”

Doc walked toward the werewolves, but continued to shout instructions at Annabelle.

“And tell the world of my story.”

The good doctor was free of fear as he stepped down the bridge.

“For when men of great intellect and excessive humility such as myself dare to leave their mark upon the world, even the most scholarly of scribes will scarcely understand how to record the doings of such remarkable men, and thus it is up to the common folk to…”

Doc stopped and turned back.

“Oh right. She’s gone.”

The trio of werewolves surrounded the half-man/half-zombie.

“Right then,” Doc said as he pointed one pistol at a random henchwolf and the other at Mayhew’s head. “I shall be taking that box, my good man.”

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How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 109

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Doc and Annabelle were out of time. The last of the women folk stepped onto the bridge and Annabelle had to join them.

“Goodbye my love,” Annabelle said as she moved in to plant one last kiss on Doc’s rotting face.

“My dear,” Doc said. “Promise me…”

Annabelle looked away. “Don’t say it.”

Puss oozed from a sore on Doc’s cheek.

“…that you’ll find another…”

“I won’t,” Annabelle said.

Doc persisted. “…man to…”

“I’ll never love another man as much as you,” Annabelle said.

“I was going to say that you must find a man who will do that thing…”

Annabelle looked back at increasingly zombified lover.

“Oh,” she said. “You mean that thing where he…”

Doc nodded.

“And I?”

Doc nodded again.

“And then there’s that other thing that?”

One more nod.

“Well yeah of course,” Annabelle said. “I can’t go my whole life without that.”

One more embrace.

“But you’ll always be the best at it,” Annabelle said.

“Indeed,” Doc replied.

A tear rolled down Doc’s face as he watched the only woman he’d ever loved walked away.

But sadness replaced fear as he found Major Culpepper’s soldiers pointing their rifles his way.

Doc raised his hands.

“Don’t shoot!” Doc said. “I am a man of science!”

The soldiers shot…but not at Doc.

Doc ducked and ran out of the path of the gunfire. He turned to see three werewolves charging the soldiers.

Mayhew and his hench wolves had arrived to clear the bridge.

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How the West Was Zombed – Chapter 108

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Mr. Cobb manned the controls, his paws adjusting various knobs and levers.

“Faster!” Blythe commanded.

The furry engineer shook his head to indicate, “no.”

“Don’t bore me with concerns of safety!” Blythe shouted. “I need to get these zombies across the river!”

The engineer relented and took the train to an alarming speed.

The vampire stepped into the engine room, where werewolves were shoveling coal into the furnace at a furious pace.

Blythe could see the coal reserves were running low.

“Start throwing zombies in as soon as you run out,” was his order to the werewolves.

The vampire returned to his cabin and clutched his hand around his captive’s arm.

She shrieked and jerked about wildly underneath the sheet until she felt Blythe press his revolver against her temple.

“Do you know what this is?” Blythe asked.

She nodded.

“Then move,” the vampire said.

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Daily Discussion With BQB – Christina Grimmie

Good morning 3.5 readers.

Some sad news today. A 22 year old singer from The Voice, Christina Grimmie, was shot and killed after a concert in Orlando, Florida last night.

I’m kind of an old fuddy duddy and I don’t watch shows like the Voice so I’d never heard of her before but it sounds like many of you had.

As I read the stories, it becomes increasingly sad. She got her start on YouTube, utilized social media to get her music out there to the world, really took advantage of what technology allows today for budding young creative people.

Imagine being young and on top of the world, plus how happy all her family and friends around her must of been and then that to happen out of nowhere.

 

Obviously the guy was crazy. I was going to go on a rant about why crazy people do what they do but I will await the news to report the details of the specific kind of crazy that the guy was.

Generally speaking, while suicide isn’t the answer and in a perfect world, the mentally unstable would get mental help before doing something like this, I don’t understand why crazy people who get to this low point often feel the need to take someone with them rather than just go out alone.

Again, I don’t want to speculate further. My assumption is he must have been some kind of obsessed fan but we’ll probably find out more as the story develops.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

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Movie Review – The Boy (2016)

Worst babysitting gig ever.

BQB here with a review of The Boy.

If I’m being honest here, I watched this movie for two reason:

  1. Lauren Cohan (Maggie from The Walking Dead) and since she’s sans-Glenn in this one, I can fantasize about wooing her with my manly machismo.
  2. Killer doll movies are the scariest of all movies. No one has a gremlin, ghost, zombie or monsters in their house, but everyone has at least one doll.

In her breakout movie role, Lauren plays Greta, a nanny hired by an elderly couple to take care of their son, Brahms.

The catch? When she arrives, she learns that Brahms is actually a doll, though his parents don’t let on that this is anything but normal.

I don’t want to give too much away, but as you can imagine, clues are dropped throughout in an effort to lead you in different directions. Is there a boy’s soul trapped in the doll? Are the parents nuts? Is Glenda nuts? Is everyone nuts?

It’s worth it to watch until the end to find out. I won’t spoil it because to the film’s credit, you won’t get what’s going on until it is all finally revealed.

I know I didn’t and as my 3.5 readers are aware, I’m a genius so that’s saying something.

Worth a rental.

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