Daily Archives: June 8, 2016

Daily Discussion with BQB – Uninspired

I am uninspired.  Just talk about anything.

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Hitler Freaks Out After Hearing BQB Only Has 3.5 Readers

Hey 3.5 Readers.

A highly classified  video has made its way to BQB HQ.

It’s so top secret I was going to share it, but then I remembered only 3.5 people read this blog.

Apparently I have a critic in Germany:

NOTE: Hitler needs to redo this video. Joseph Heller wrote Catch-22. Not James Heller. Stupid Hitler.

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BQB Attempts to Get Spanish Readers with Google Translate

IN ENGLISH:

Hello. I am Bookshelf Q. Battler.

I have a blog with 3.5 readers.

I read books. I write novels. I fight yetis.

My best friend is an alien named “Alien Jones.”

Alien Jones’s boss is the Mighty Potentate. He is an intergalactic dictator.

EN ESPANOL:

Hola. Soy Biblioteca P. Battler .

Tengo un blog con 3,5 lectores .

Leo libros. Escribo novelas . Lucho yetis .

Mi mejor amigo es un alienígena llamado “Alien Jones .”

jefe de Alien Jones es el Poderoso Soberano . Él es un dictador intergaláctico .

NOTE: Anyone know why it changed the Q to a P?

Moving on…

IN ENGLISH:

The Mighty Potentate has demanded that I either write a book so fabulous that it convinces all of mankind to give up reality television or else he will send an army of aliens to conquer the world.

So in other words, the world will probably be conquered by aliens as I take too long to write.

EN ESPANOL:

El Mighty Potentado ha exigido que sea escribir un libro tan fabuloso que convence a toda la humanidad a abandonar televisión de la realidad o de lo contrario se enviará un ejército de alienígenas de conquistar el mundo .

Así, en otras palabras, el mundo probablemente será conquistado por extranjeros como tomo demasiado tiempo para escribir.

IN ENGLISH:

I live in BQB Headquarters with Bookshelf Q. Battle dog, Video Game Rack Fighter, and other assorted characters.

Frequent Blog Contributors include the Yeti, Dr. Hugo Von Science, Anti-Suck Expert Vinny Baggadouchio, Search Engine Optimized Poet, Nerdstradamus, and the exceptionally cranky Uncle Hardass.

Thank you. I hope you will be one of my 3.5 readers.

EN ESPANOL:

Yo vivo en la Sede de BQB con el estante P. Batalla perro, películas y videojuegos en rack de combate , y otros personajes variados.

Colaboradores de blog frecuentes incluyen el Yeti , el Dr. Hugo Von Ciencia , Anti – Suck Experto Vinny Baggadouchio , motor de búsqueda optimizado poeta , Nerdstradamus , y el mal humor excepcionalmente tío Hardass .

Gracias. Espero que sea uno de mis lectores de 3,5 .

NOTE: I cut and pasted this all from Google Translate, so I apologize if any of it was wrong or if any of it translates into something terrible.  I hope I didn’t imply your mothers wear combat boots or anything.

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BQB’s Favorite YouTubers – What’s Inside? – What’s Inside a Wasp Nest?

So the premise is pretty simple.

This guy and his young son cut things open to see what’s inside.

Seems like a fun father/son hobby/bonding activity.

They tape it and then put it on YouTube.

They started last year and already have a million subscribers.

Hmm…kinda makes me wonder if there isn’t a market for wholesomeness in the indie world.

Makes me want to go back and erase every swear from my humble blog.

Nah. Too time consuming.

So anyway, the What’s Inside Dad bought a giant wasp nest…on eBay!

I had to pause for a second to wonder who is dumber, the guy selling wasp nests on eBay or the guy buying them?

I’m going to have to go with the guy who buys them.  I mean, I guess this guy at least got a highly viewed video out of it, but otherwise, if you’re just a random jerk face who bought a wasp nest because you just thought it would be fun to have one then I guess that gu’y selling wasp nests online deserves your money.

I was a little surprised they cut it open inside the house. Even though it was apparently dead (though what a dead vs a live wasp nest looks like is beyond me) I wouldn’t want to take the chance that a million wasps would fly out and then I’m dealing with a wasp infestation forever.

Dad cuts it open. The papery sound, the intricate holes, the eggs and dead wasps still inside, it’s all incredibly gross (so keep that in mind if you get sick easily) but once you get past it I suppose the science of it all and the ability of wasps to do stuff like this is interesting.

So there you go, 3.5 readers.  Just find your niche and you don’t even need act dumb on camera.

Hell you don’t even need to tell everyone you’re a magic bookshelf caretaking yeti fighter.

I mean, I do because I am one but you don’t.

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Epic Fail

I failed to post a daily discussion today, or yesterday by the time people start seeing this post.

And my 3.5 readers did not even scold me!

You’re too kind, 3.5 readers. You’re too kind.

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