BQB’s Ultimate 1990s Fap List

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Behold!  In no particular order, the list of babes I was tossing the old pickle around to while Bill Clinton was president:

#1 – Sarah Michelle Gellar – Buffy fap.

#2 – Britney Spears – Hit me baby one more fap.

#3 – Christina Applegate – Kelly Bundy fap.

#4 – Alicia Silverstone – Clueless Batgirl fap.

#5 – Jenna Jameson – First porn superstar fap.

#6 – Pamela Andersen – Baywatch fap.

#7 – Anna Nicole Smith – Ridiculously big bazongas.  RIP fap.  Too soon, too soon.

#8 – Britney Murphy – Another fap gone too soon.  Why, God, why?

#9 – Tia Carerre – Wayne’s World.  Deserved a longer career fap.  Should still be in movies now far.

#10 – Asia Carerre – Tia Carerre knockoff porn star fap.  Tia should have sued.

#11 – Jennifer Love Hewitt – Or as we called her in the 90s, “Jennifer Love Huge Tits.”  Ha! Now that’s good satire, fap.

#12 – Sandra Bullock – Speed fap.  Don’t let the bus slow down fap.  Hot chick but still approachable fap.

#13 – Drew Barrymore – Hollywood royalty fap.

#14 – Sharon Stone – First vagina in a major film fap.  Scares police detectives with her vagina fap.

#15 – Uma Thurman – Pulp Faption.

#16 – Kate Winslet – Killed Jack by hogging the board, got old, threw the necklace off the boat instead of selling it to help impoverished niece selfish bitch fap.

#17 – Jewel – Crooked teeth yet still hot fap.

#18 – Christina Aguilera – Hits the high notes fap.

#19 – Beyonce – I’m a survivor fap.  (Add in Kelly and Michelle for a Destiny’s Fap.)

#20 – Gwen Stefani – I’m just a girl fap.

#21 – Whitney Houston – I’m every woman fap.

#22  – Shania Twain – That doesn’t impress my fap much.

#23 – Reese Witherspoon – Cruel Faptentions.

#24 – Claire Danes – Romeo and Juliet.  “But soft, what light through yonder window faps?”

#25 – Michelle Williams – Town slut Jen Lindley fap.

#26 – The Spice Girls – “Oh, I’ll tell you what I fap, what I really, really fap!”

#27 – Winona Ryder – Goth fap.

#28 – Tiffani Amber Thiessen – Saved by the Fap Bell.  (We would have also accepted “Kelly Fapowski.”)

#29 – Katie Holmes – Girl next door fap.  Sigh, girl that got away fap.  Double sigh, girl wasted on Tom Cruise fap.

#30 – Cindy Crawford – Supermodel fap.

#31 – Jennifer Aniston – The Rachel fap.

#32 – Neve Campbell – Scream fap.

#33 – Paul Abdul – “Straight up now tell me, do you really wanna fap to me forever?”  SPOILER ALERT: Yes.

#34 – Julia Stiles – 10 Faps I Fap About You

#35 – Madonna – 1990s cone bra phase fap.

#36 – Julia Roberts – Steel Fapnolias

#37 – Fiona Apple – More like Fiona Fapple, am I right?

#38 – Monica Lewinsky – Brought down the leader of the free world with her fapworthiness.

#39 – Elizabeth Hurley – British fap

#40 – Yasmine Bleeth – Baywatch fap.

#41 – Lucy Lawless – Xena, Warrior Fap Princess

#42 – Jenny McCarthy – Singled Out fap.

#43 – Liv Tyler – Steve’s long lost daughter fap.  Also, Fappageddon.

#44 – Kerri Russell – Faplicity.

#45 – Shannon Elizabeth – American Pie fap.

#46 – Elizabeth Berkley – Showgirls fap.  (Seriously, like every 1990s boy including myself snuck out to the video store to rent that movie, secret it home under cover of darkness and slip it in the old VCR while Mom and Dad went to bed.)

#47 – Janet Jackson – Nasty boys, don’t even fap.  Oh you nasty boys.

#48 – Carmen Electra – Invented being famous for no reason long before Kim Kardashian did fap.

#49 – Charlize Theron – Gets more fappable with age.

#50 – Michelle Pfeiffer – Catwoman fap.

#51 – Cameron Diaz – There’s Something Fappable About Mary.

#52 – Denise Richards – Starship Fappers

#53 – Rebecca Gayheart – Noxzema fap.

#54 – Heather Graham – Roller Girl fap.

#55 – Alyssa Milano – Who’s the Boss of My Fap?  Charmed fap.

TO BE CONTINUED – Did I miss a fap worthy 1990s babe?  Add your favorites to the comments.

 

 

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