VGRF waved some smelling salts under my nose and I’m up and about again.
Still a little sad I had to open my wallet. I really do hate doing that. She wasn’t lying about ordering off the dollar menu and the grease traps and so on.
It’s only been a couple hours and someone has already submitted a pretty cool design. I mean, I want to wait until the end of the contest to see what the other designers have to offer but I’m just impressed with the power of the Internet.
Do you millennials have any idea how good you all frigging have it when it comes to becoming creative these days?
Damn it, when I was your age, I had to walk up a hill both ways in blizzard conditions just to get to a computer and when I did I still didn’t have a book cover because no one was selling book cover design services over the damn Internet.
Shit. The Internet back then made your computer make a noise like a screeching cat and you could only be on it for five minutes lest you tie up the phone line.
I look forward to sharing the results of all the designers when they come in and together we will make a good choice, 3.5 readers.
Barnes and Noble, which has allowed self-publishers to sell their books on their site to Nook users (Nook being B + N’s version of the Amazon Kindle) will let self-publishers sell books in their brick and mortar stores.
According to the article above, there is a catch, namely, that the author must have sold 1,000 books in the past year.
On the surface, it sounds like a great development for the self-publishing community.
I’ve yet to self-publish, but I’ve read (on blogs) and heard (on various podcasts) that there are a number of self-publishers who are iffy on Nook, they just don’t see the sales that they see on Amazon or other sites.
Still, getting your book in a bookstore…that’s the dream of every author, isn’t it? Might as well reach out and grab it while bookstores are still around.
My gut tells me this is a recognition that print media is rapidly going the way of self-publishing. More writers are bypassing the traditional publishing run around by building their blogs, their social media, their online fan base and as that continues, physical bookstores will need to get print copies of those self-published books into their stores to keep sales up.
That’s my take on it. I can’t think of any other reason why they’d do it.
What say you, 3.5 readers?
If you are a self-publisher, will you try this out?
BQB here. Just wishing Johnny, Sean and Dave of the Self-Publishing Podcast a Happy 200th Episode.
I discovered these dudes around Christmastime 2014 and have listened to their show every week ever since.
The best description I can give is it is like having three very funny self-publishing professors teaching you a weekly lesson.
I knew very little about self-publishing before I began listening to them. I’ve yet to start my own self-publishing business but I don’t think I would have ever had an inkling about how or where to begin without these three.
They’ve inspired a lot of people and I think if there is ever a “How Did Self Publishing Become So Popular?” documentary, there will have to be at least an hour on this trio.
“You do the math. You solve one problem. And then you solve another. And then another. Solve enough and you stay alive.”
– Mark Watney, The Martian
An astronaut trapped on Mars. A daring rescue mission. Matt Damon. Jeff Daniels. Jessica Chastain. Kate Mara. Sean Bean. Kristen Wiig. The list of top actors on this movie is too long to keep rattling names off but the biggest star of all?
SCIENCE!
Yes, in an age where people want more explosions, sex, and what the hell, explosive sex, Alien director Ridley Scott made a movie that not only entertains but educates.
Put on your spacesuit, 3.5 readers, and let’s talk about what this movie does not only for science, but for the world of self-publishing.
The Martian – Twentieth Century Fox
OK, first of all, let’s address the proverbial elephant on the sofa, the gorilla in the barcalounger, if you will.
But BQB! Aren’t you trapped in the middle of the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?
I sure am, 3.5 readers. Luckily, I’ve got Alien Jones’ plutonium powered space phone and the Esteemed Brainy One managed to stream it for my group of survivors last night. It really lifted our spirits, because as you may have heard, we’re currently riding out the zompoc in Price Town, one of the last three stores still open at the nearly abandoned East Randomtown Mall.
HOW BIG WAS THIS MOVIE?
A “friend” of mine sent me an e-mail to let me know that this movie was so big that he’d never seen a line so long at the theater he usually goes to before. The poor chump ended up stuck in that damn front row spot. You know, the one where you have to keep your neck craned skywards for two hours and you have to look to the left when a character on the left is talking and a character on the right is talking.
What a jackass. Guy probably should have taken into account how popular the movie would be and gotten there earlier.
Either that or he could have skipped the popcorn and soda. God knows that fatty doesn’t need it.
Oh sorry, I shouldn’t speak ill of my friend on my blog. Good thing only 3.5 people read this.
THE PLOT
A storm causes a team of astronauts to abandon their mission on Mars. One of their teammates, Mark Watney, is impaled, presumed dead, and abandoned.
Whoops! He’s still alive, but the the Red Planet is so far away that NASA won’t be able to get help to him any soon.
THE SCIENCE
One of the biggest challenges for a writer is to a) explain to the reader how a character is going to extricate himself from a sticky situation with enough detail so as to not leave the reader feeling cheated and yet b) not go overboard to the point where the reader feels like dozing off.
Enter Andy Weir. The Martian is based off of Weir’s novel of the same name.
A computer programmer, Weir made all sorts of calculations, estimates, and scientific conclusions on how, in theory, an astronaut trapped on Mars could live long enough to find a way back home.
“I’m going to have to science the shit out of this,” Damon, as Watney, says.
And science the shit out of it, he does. Literally. He uses his own shit as fertilizer for potato plants. Potatoes then become Mark’s only form of sustenance and I’m willing to bet he reached a point where he never wanted to see another french fry ever again.
Aside from the potato plants, I don’t want to go into too much detail on the science angle. A) To do so would be to provide you with too many SPOILERS and b) some of it my brain was too feeble to understand and other parts I did understand but am not sure I could explain it correctly.
Suffice to say, there’s a lot of brainy people involved. NASA scientists on the ground work on a rescue plan while Watney on Mars works on his own survival.
For any kid out there interested in science, this film provides role models to look up to, not just in the form of the astronauts, but the people – technicians, engineers, specialists, scientists, etc. working to bring their colleague home.
Science, kids. It’s the way of the future.
WHAT DOES THIS MOVIE MEAN FOR SELF-PUBLISHING?
The Martian started out as a free serial on Andy’s blog. He as just a guy who really loved math, science, and space. So he took his passions and funneled them into a project to entertain his blog readers. (I bet he had more than 3.5 of them.)
As he explained in an interview with Johnny, Sean and Dave of the Self-Publishing Podcast, he put the novel on Amazon at the request of some of his readers who preferred an e-reader format over reading it on a blog. Not out to make any money and not thinking it would go anywhere, Weir put his novel on Amazon, priced it at 99-cents, and let his blog readers know it was available.
The novel took off and the rest was history.
By the way, I recommend listening to Andy’s SPP interview as it is an inspiration to anyone interested in self-publishing. Success doesn’t happen overnight and it certainly didn’t for Andy. He started blogging way back in 1999. A sixteen year journey to the big screen!
Keep plugging away, 3.5 readers/writers. Success might seem so far away as to be pointless, but then again, you’re already ahead of those who gave up.
I’ve sought out opinions as to what this movie means for self-publishers. Andy’s novel was originally self-published before he was approached by a literary agent and sold it to a big publisher.
Does this mean the general public will look at self-publishers in a whole new light? That if one man was able to take a project on his blog and turn it into a blockbuster film starring Matt Damon and other stars, might that not cause people to pay more attention to self-published works?
One person I spoke with answered no. His reasoning was the majority of the movie going public doesn’t really care who wrote a book or how the book was made. They just want to be entertained and thus this won’t do a lot to bring attention to self-publishing.
Technically, I think he’s right, but therein lies the rub.
As self-publishers, our WHOLE GOAL is to provide a piece of entertainment crafted so well that no one notices it wasn’t made by a team of big shots.
Because at the end of the day, when you turn on the TV, do you pay that much attention if a show is on NBC, CBS, or Showtime or do you just pick and watch shows because they grab your attention?
Have you ever said, “Well, I’ll never watch THAT film because it was made by Fox and Goddamn it, this is a Sony household!”
Have you ever walked into a bookstore, strolled over to the clerk, and said, “Excuse me, will you point me to the Random House books because I’m ONLY a Random House reader and I’ll never allow a Penguin book to sully my eyes!”
No. No one cares who was behind a piece of entertainment so long as it is entertaining.
And that, my 3.5 readers, is what I believe this movie does for self-publishers.
It gives their collective souls a boost. Andy Weir becomes another Hugh Howey to look up to. “If that guy did it, then I can do it too!”
After all, when Andy got his start, his readers weren’t saying, “Ugh! This book was not put out by a traditional publishing house? No thank you!”
They were saying, “An astronaut who gets trapped on Mars and has to figure out how to survive?! That sounds so cool! Sign me up!”
When you’re in the clothing store, do you check the label on that shirt that caught your eye? Nope. You’ll just buy it because you like it.
Write cool stories, 3.5 readers and if they’re entertaining enough, people won’t bother to check the label.
Thanks 3.5. I have to go fight the zombie apocalypse now.
Yeah I know “The Man” looks like Informant Zero. Shutterstock ‘aint cheap, nerds.
Ahh, my younger days. That magical, pre-techno revolution time when I was able to blame my lack of a writing career on a mysterious, mythical, “man” or “The Man” as I called him.
Have you ever heard of “The Man?” He’s everywhere, you know. No one knows who he is or what he looks like, but everyone who isn’t where they want to be is certain this rapscallion is standing in the way.
Yes, 3.5, back when self-publishing meant you took the scribbles you made on a legal pad and sent them through the photocopying machine, I was able to sit back and blame my failure to become a published author on The Man:
BQB 1.0 (Before Self-Publishing)
Well, I might as well not waste my time writing because it’s not like The Man is going to allow anyone as sophisticated and subversive as I am to get published! Pass the Dorito bag and get me my video game controller!
I don’t know who I was bossing around there. My entire life, I’ve never known anyone willing to fetch me snacks or video game implements. Sad really.
In other words, I felt better. It wasn’t my fault. It was The Man’s fault.
You youngsters might find that difficult to believe but keep in mind this was all in the days before social media, back when if you took a picture of your lunch and walked around showing it to everyone, they’d all call you an asshole.
Where are you, The Man?
Oh how I miss you, now that the self-publishing revolution is here.
Without my precious scapegoat, here’s what I go through now:
BQB 2.0 – Post Self-Publishing
I’m tired and I miss my precious video games but now I must attempt to follow my longstanding dream to become a published author now that The Man has been overthrown by technology!
Without The Man to blame, I have to come to terms on all the reasons why I blame myself for my lack of writing success:
REASON #1 – I’m Not Good Enough
That will enter my brain from time to time, then I’ll see a scene on TV that will inspire me to persevere.
CASE IN POINT: On Game of Thrones, Tyrion was kidnapped by slaver traders who threatened to sell his dwarf appendage to a dwarf appendage merchant because in Westeros, dwarf appendages are thought to bring good luck.
MY RESPONSE: Where’s my laptop? George RR that sea captain hat wearing SOB is making a mint off this shit. Surely, I can come up with something half as witty as lucky dwarf appendages and at least make a little beer money.
Oh The Man. How I miss you. You used to keep this thought at bay:
REASON #2 – There Isn’t Enough Time
There is and there isn’t. If you want to work all day and then come home and work all night, then yes, you’ll find time to write a novel. It’s up to you if you want to work all day AND night and not do something crazy like sniff some fresh air, take a walk, or go to the bathroom.
The Man used to make me feel better on wasting all that precious writing time in the bathroom. Now I just sit there on the bowl, cursing myself for losing those few precious moments of productivity that could have been spent writing.
Where have you gone, The Man? Where have you gone? I need you back:
REASON #3 – There’s No Assistance Available
CORRECTION: There used to be no assistance available. Now, thanks to self-publishing, there’s a whole cottage industry of editors and cover artists waiting to help you if you’re willing to invest in them.
Time was The Man stood between folks like that and myself. Now they’re easy to find and their help is readily available.
Come back, The Man!
REASON #4 – I’m Not One of the Beautiful People
BACK THEN: I’ll never get a book out because I have the looks and charm of a cactus and only certain well bred classy people get books published.
TODAY: Underdogs are tearing it up in the self-publishing industry and everyone cheers for them.
Oh The Man. How I miss you. I was able to blame you for my failures, but now, thanks to self-publishing, the only man I can blame when my book isn’t out there is myself.
RIP
THE MAN
The Beginning of Time – The Past Few Years, Give or Take
Yes, I’m being facetious. Yes, I realize even if my stuff never gains an audience wider than 3.5 readers, the time I spend writing is still better spent than being transfixed to TV (even though, holy shit, it’s better now than it ever was, let me tell you.)
I recognize what miraculous times we live in that whether your book is a blockbuster or a dud, at least the tech is available to allow you to say, “I GAVE IT A TRY” and check “WRITE A BOOK” off your bucket list.
I’m not “old” but I’m getting older and as the years move on, I realize:
I’m probably not going to be playing for the NFL.
The fine scientists at NASA might not recruit me as an astronaut as my younger self once assumed they would.
Katee Sackhoff, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, isn’t going to marry me. (Don’t tell Video Game Rack Fighter I said that.)
I’m not going to be president, which really, is more of a detriment to the country than to me, what with my proposed, “Let’s everyone stop playing grabass and get down to some serious shit here!” initiative.
But while pro-football, intergalactic space travel, Katee Sackhoff, and the Oval Office are all dreams that are fading fast, I am pleased to say that “publishing a book” is a dream of mine that is more realistic and plausible today than it ever was when I was a kid, thanks to the marvels of technology.
Shit. I’d better get a book out there before The Man figures out a way to shut this self-publishing thing down.
There was a quick joke – that Brian Griffin, the talking family dog, who is always working on a novel that Stewie makes fun of (“Faster than the Speed of Love”) had put it up on Amazon.
Meg noted it was unfair that Amazon marked it down to 99 cents. (I don’t think they can do that but ok, for joke purposes). She was buttering up Brian with a compliment to get him to do her a favor.
And it was noted under his book that customers who bought Brian’s book also bought a potato and a toilet.
Before he became BQB’s Pop Culture Detective, Jake Hatcher was a down and out boxer forced by the evil Mugsy McGillicuddy to take a dive, thus tanking his chance at the big time, not to mention his budding romance with singer Peaches LeMay.
When Jake tries to escape his past by enlisting, he gets a second chance at the greatness he missed out on when he’s recruited by General George S. Patton, President Roosevelt, and Pre-CIA Agent Carmichael to take on the most daring mission in the history of warfare:
Infiltrate Das Fuhrerbunker and punch Adolf Hitler in the face before an equally skilled puncher sent by the Russians can.
Why? Assassination attempts by his own men have left Hitler paranoid in the final days of World War II. He’s banned all staff from carrying weapons, leaving him the only armed individual in the bunker.
No guns. No knives. Nothing.
Thus, Uncle Sam needs a man whose weapon is his fist.
Is this a viable novel idea? Would you want to read a book about Hitler getting punched in the face?
The first three proposed chapters and outline of the rest:
Hate to do it, you all know how cheap I am, but I’m thinking about opening up the ole wallet and letting the moths fly out to get some banner photos.
What I’m thinking about:
Banner images that could be used as the header photo on this site, plus on Twitter and Facebook.
Probably through 99 designs.
Possible ideas:
1) As you know, Alien Jones and I allow the Yeti out of his cage once a week to watch Scandal. It’s our special Scandal night. The three of us eat chips and dip and talk about Olivia’s latest adventures.
The image would be a nerd to represent myself sitting on a couch between the Yeti and Alien Jones with a TV in front of us.
Should my main squeeze Video Game Rack Fighter also be on the couch? Could be cool, could be crowded. Cuz then, do I have to add Dr. Hugo Von Science, Uncle Hardass and other subsidiary characters?
2) Not exactly Star Wars but a Star Wars – esque poster where a nerd, that would be me, is in some kind of action pose, holding a ray gun or something, Video Game Rack Fighter clutching me….Dr. Hugo and Alien Jones have my back, the Yeti looms large ready to eat me or something.
3) Maybe just my bookshelf with battles going on it. A bunch of books and little characters running around on the shelves attacking each other.
Which one of these ideas do you like and do you have any others, 3.5 Readers?
Hop on over to twitter, check out #indieprideday and you’ll be amazed at how many indie authors are participating.
Lots of writers promoting their own books, others’ books and trumpeting the message to make indie publishing go mainstream.
(If indies go mainstream, are they still indies?)
Oh well, good for them. I’m filled with pride and I haven’t even written a book yet.
Even so, I’m proud of all these folks who have, and inspired that there are so many of them.
All of these people, many of whom likely would have had the door to their dreams shut on them by the traditional publishing world, now able to do what they want to do thanks to the power of indie publishing.
If you’re in the self publishing racket, share your book or a friend’s.
Bookshelf Battle 