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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 4 Interview – Ann Christy – When Life Gives You Lemons…

AnnChristyPromo2 copy

FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

AMAZON     WEBSITE

FACEBOOK     TWITTER

Today’s guest is Ann Christy, author of the Between Life and Death series.  Follow teenager Emily as she makes her way through a world comprised of three groups:  humans, deaders, and the flesh-eating in-betweeners.

Among her other works, Ann is also the author of the Silo 49 series, which takes place in the world of Hugh Howey’s Wool, as well as the dystopian adventure, Strikers, and many others.

Ann, welcome.  It truly takes a brave individual to take a call from Alien Jones’ space phone.

NOTE:  BOLD = BQB; ITALICS = ANN

51LzhZZAQ2L._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Q.   Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, does it?  Take my pal, Bernie Plotznick, for instance.  All he ever wanted to do was become a successful rap mogul but instead, he’s freaking out because life set him smack dab in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.  That made me think of Between Life and Death protagonist Emily.

As the description of The In-Betweener states, “At eighteen, Emily thought life would be different. Dating, college, and maybe giving her mom a few reasons to worry were the plans she had in mind. Now, she talks to herself and smashes heads with her favorite sledgehammer.”

Do you have any advice for my 3.5 readers who thought life was going to be X only to be mortified upon discovery that it is actually Y?

A.   What’s that saying? Making lemonade or something when life gives you lemons? Well, that’s rot. What you do is pour vodka in your glass, squeeze one of those lemons like it’s a wallet filled with cash, and then chug it. After that…and a couple more, because lemons are plural…sit down and re-prioritize. Nothing is set in stone and any path can be strayed from. Find the path you want…and more vodka.

Q.   In this series, you’ve got several groups.  Nanites.  Deaders.  In-betweeners.  I also have a hunch not every human can be trusted.  That’s usually the case even when there’s not a zombie apocalypse afoot.  Is there a group that is particularly nastier than the rest or are they all equally awful?

A.   Everyone is awful in their own way, just as in real life. Everyone is also awesome in their own way, again as in real life. Okay, not everyone is awesome because I’ve concluded that there are actually people in real life who are 100% asshats. My books reflect that reality on occasion. To actually answer your question, though: In-Betweeners are alive, but were dead for a brief period, only to be revived by their nanite constellation. Since they lack much of their humanity, they function really as animals, with instincts and drives making up the motivations for action. That, to me, makes them the most scary because it’s so easy to see ourselves in that. Of course, humans always suck. So, there’s that.

Q.   You’re a recently retired Navy officer, which no doubt comes with a great deal of training and experience.  Does any of that come in handy when you’re writing and how so?

A.   Yep. That it does. Like pretty much every Naval Officer, I did many jobs, some of them all at the same time. For the last 16 years of my service, I was supposed to be a scientist, but I was also a deployer, battle planner…you name it. “Science” is a rather broad term, but like everything else, I worked in more than one field, often melding multiple fields together for specific needs. That sort of versatility really does help when writing complex worlds. And, incidentally, slightly more plausible reasons for the Z-Apoc to happen, which is super fun.

Q.  What made you take the leap into the writing world?

A.   Hugh Howey. I had no clue a writer was lurking inside me like a whiney wanker demanding to be let out. Alas, there was. It’s like having a perpetually hungry and tired three year old rattling around in my head. Most unsettling and I’ve developed a craving for nuggetized chicken on top of it.

Oh, you wanted a serious answer? Okay. It really was Hugh Howey. I read Wool when it was still new and only had the one volume out…and by that I mean the first little novella, not the book. After part two came out, I started thinking that I’d like to see someone with some freaking morals and sense of right in power once in a while. That started the whole thing percolating in my head. I asked Hugh if I could write it, he said yes. I had zero clue that thousands of people would buy it within a couple of months of me putting that unedited piece of brain-scream out. But they did. And they liked it.

And then I learned you can actually hire editors, so things really picked up steam after that. It’s the greatest job I never knew I could do.

Q.   Your Silo 49 series takes place in the world of Hugh Howey’s Wool. As an aspiring self-publisher, I bow down to Hugh the way rock and roll fans worship Black Sabbath.  Is it humbling to think that you’ve displayed such a high level of writing talent that Hugh’s trusted you to work within his world?

A.   Well, to be truthful, I don’t think he actually trusted me with it. I think he’s just generous and let almost anyone play in his world. That said, I did adhere to canon well and I’ve got a great memory for detail, so I hope I didn’t muck about with established dogma too much. And I prefer to worship the Scorpions because Rock You Like A Hurricane is the best rock song ever, closely followed by the entire Back in Black album by AC/DC. Just saying…

BQB EDITORIAL NOTE:  Here I am!  Rock you like a hurricane!  Here I am!  Rock you like a Hurri…CANE!  OK, that’s enough of that, I don’t want to have to pay the Scorpions royalties.

Q.   At least 2 out of my 3.5 readers are aspiring writers.  What advice do you have for someone just getting started?

A.   It’s not good yet. Really, it’s just not.

And right now you might be saying, “WTF!? I’m going to one star the shit out of you.” But wait, there’s more.

What I’m really saying is that the moment we start writing, we become writers (no matter any other profession we might keep so bills get paid) and as writers producing a work that might be considered art (or a butchery of art depending on the audience), we’re too close to our work to be objective. One of the biggest flaws in writing is that it’s hard to see the flaws in our own work. Very hard. Impossible at times.

If you’re thinking of becoming a writer, then also search for an editor at the same time. Call it the cost of doing business. And no, a friend who happens to have majored in English is not an editor. They’re your friend. Editing is super important. Other than that, just let your mind take over and create what you want. I don’t believe (not even a little bit) that writers are some special breed, that we’re born to it, or anything of that sort. Everyone has a story inside them, probably hundreds of stories. Get that bad boy out and into the world!

If you really can’t afford an editor at the moment, then you can use my Four Views method, which does work for short stories and such pretty well. If you can’t have a professional edit for flow, then at least get rid of the errors and the Four Views method helps with that. Here they are:

ANN’s FOUR VIEWS METHOD

One – On the screen, read-through from your word-processing program, which is what we all do anyway while we’re writing.

Two – Text-to-Speech from Word or whatever your word processing program is.

Three – Send the file to your kindle and read it like a book. You’d be amazed how many errors you find that way.

Four – Print it out and read it aloud to yourself in a room. Not from the screen, read from paper. You’ll see errors because your brain processes reading aloud from paper differently than reading silently.

Q.  Thank you so much for your time.  Before I go, do you have any other survival tips for my friends and I as we continue to brave our way through the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?

A.   Yes.  Yes I do.

First: Twinkies are mandatory and not just because the most awesome comedic zombie movie ever says so. They don’t rot. I’ve experimented.

BQB EDITORIAL NOTE:  Bonus points to my 3.5 readers if you can guess the movie in the comments.

Second: At it’s most basic, momentum is force over time (really, it’s way more complicated but this is a short answer). And this is important. What it means is that the longer your swing with that hammer (or axe, or baseball bat), the more head-smashing potential you have. Take big swings.

Third: I would stock up on garlic and silver bullets, because if the z-poc ever really happens, then all kinds of supernatural bullshit is about to come out of the woodwork and that means freaking sparkly vampires and weregophers and other craptastic stuff.

See you on the other side!

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#31ZombieAuthors – The Week in Review with Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

Meanwhile at the East Randomtown Chuckle Barn…shutterstock_226147114 copy

ANNOUNCER:

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and ghouls, please remain calm!

Yes, East Randomtown has been devastated by a zombie apocalypse, but you know our motto, “the show must go on!”

So pick your hands up off the floor and clap them together for Schecky Biggsfield….wait.  What?  He’s a zombie now?  Oh great.  OK put whatever body parts you have left together for SCHECKY BLARGFELD, ZOMBIE COMEDIAN!

SCHECKY:

Oh stop!  Please, you’re too kind.  Cut it out!  No really, you in the front row, cut out that patch of gangrenous skin out before you keel over and become a zombie like yours truly.

Actually, being a zombie isn’t that bad.  Half the women run from me in terror.  The other half just give up and let me bite them. Come to think of it, Saturday nights aren’t much different for me as a zombie than they were when I was a human.

Take my wife…PLEASE!!  Ha ha but really, she’s turning into a hideous beast (more so than when she was alive even)…someone take her outta here before she eats my entire audience, all 3.5 of them!  Hey-yo!

So I’ve got good news and bad news.  The bad news is that this whole town has been overrun by dirty, smelly zombies.  The good news is that the zombies will never attack Washington, D.C.  We tried that once, but we couldn’t find anyone with a brain, so we all starved!  Whoa!

I just want to say it’s great being here on the Bookshelf Battle Blog.  3.5 readers?  I’ve seen dishwasher user’s manuals get more reads than this joint!

So we had quite a week, didn’t we?

THREE COMPLETED INTERVIEWS!

DAY 1 INTERVIEW – SARAH LYONS FLEMING

sarah lyons fleming

You know, time was when a zombie could walk up on a gal and have himself a nice lunch but now thanks to the whole “Walking Dead” zombie pop culture craze, everyone and their Uncle Bob is fully prepared for a zombie attack.  Now if you’re a zombie and you try to eat someone, your intended victim is likely to reach into a bag and pull out everything from a ninja sword to a cuisinart.

Want to learn how to pack the perfect bugout bag?  The Until the End of the World series author will teach you how.  “Until the end of the world?”  I can’t wait until the end of my set!  Not that I’m trying to disparage the good name of the East Randomtown Chuckle Barn, but I’ve been in bomb shelters with more ambiance.  Yowza!

What’s this?  Someone just handed me a note.  Yeesh, the hand’s still attached.

“Do not go running around packing a bug out bag full of dangerous accouterments like some kind of dummy.  The Bookshelf Battle Blog is not responsible if you hurt yourself or someone else with your bug out bag.  This is fiction and we’re just joking around here.  Sincerely, Attorney Donnelly, BQB’s Lead Counsel.”

Wow.  Lawyers.  Yet, I’m the bottom feeder!

DAY 2 INTERVIEW- JAIME JOHNESEE

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 Not all zombies are bad.  In fact, most zombies just want your brains because they lost theirs and that’s why they’re so dumb now.  I always attach one of those little keychains that beep when you clap your hands to my brain.  Otherwise, I’d lose it all the time.  Bob the Zombie is an ok guy in my book, though he shares Bookshelf Q. Battler’s love of Taco Bell, which is a surefire way to start an apocalypse…in your toilet!

 DAY 3 INTERVIEW – STEVIE KOPAS

stevie k

“The End of the World is Not Glamorous.”  It sure isn’t.  I just had to staple my pinky finger back on.  Can’t wait to find out which body part is going to fall off next.  My body parts are dropping faster than network television’s ratings.  Nope, nothing glamorous about the zombie apocalypse at all.

Be sure to check out The Breadwinner Trilogy.  By the way, I hear Stevie’s beverage of choice is Zombie Killer beer.  Personally, I prefer a White Russian.  In fact…excuse me…I’ve got a little bit of Ivan still stuck in my teeth.  Zing!

WHO’S NEXT?

TODAY – ANN CHRISTY  will be taking BQB’s space phone call.  She’ll give us the 411 on her Between Life and Death series, which is about an angry female that likes to smash the undead with a hammer.  Kind of reminds me of my wife.  Also, I hear there will be some talk of were gophers.  Miserable little jerk faces.  You really need to keep an eye on them.  Here, take one of mine.  It pops right out.

TOMORROW -Oct. 5 – PERRIN BRIAR

perrin briar

Perrin is going to tell BQB about his creepy tales, including Z-Minus, a series about a father who races against time to save his daughter.  Perrin’s also the author of SwissFamilyRobinZOM, a classic book that was turned into a Disney movie.  I wonder if we can get Perrin to zombify all the Disney films.  Zombie Aladdin.  Zombie Lion King.  Zombie Frozen.  “Let it go, let it go, please let your brains go!”  Ha, I’m hilarious!

TUESDAY – Oct. 6 – S.G. LEE 51FYROgGgoL._UX250_

Mr. Lee will dip into his Journal of the Undead to see what tricks he can offer BQB to keep him out of trouble.  Also, S.G. is a diehard Phillies fanatic (as in a fan, not the mascot pronounced “Phanatic”) whereas BQB is a loyal supporter of the East Randomtown Mascots, so things are bound to get heated when the conversation turns to sports.  Steeee-rike!

WEDNESDAY – Oct. 7 – Gillian Zane

gzSpeaking of sports, when it comes to the ladies, BQB has absolutely no game whatsoever.  LeBron James he is not.  Don’t worry, the NOLA Zombie author will give our nerdy amigo some lessons on how to be an alpha male, just like the macho men in her books.  I’ll give Gillian an A for effort but I wouldn’t expect any miracles here.  BQB isn’t an alpha male, or a beta male…he’s pretty much a zeta male, and that’s being generous.

THURSDAY – Oct. 8 – Joseph “Zombie” Zuko

Joseph

Joseph “Zombie” Zuko – he’s like Van Helsing, but for zombies.

Oh my God.  NOT ZOMBIE ZUKO!  ZOMBIES, RUN FOR YOUR UNDEAD LIVES!!!

Seriously, I’m gonna get while the getting is good when this world class zombie fighter comes around.  A renowned zombiologist, Zombie Zuko is going to turn BQB into a world class zombie fighting champ.

Look, Zombie Zuko, it’s cool.  I’m just a harmless zombie comedian.  I don’t want any trouble.

FRIDAY – Oct. 9 – Devan Sagliani

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The HVZHumans vs. Zombies screenwriter will talk about his Zombie Attack! series as well as how he brought the City of Angeles to life (so to speak) in LA Undead.

SATURDAY – Oct 10 – Armand Rosamillia

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OK.  Now I can’t decide who I’m scared of more.  Zombie Zuko or Armand Rosamillia.  Crap, if they were to ever team up, you’d probably never see a zombie ever again.  Worldwide zombie extinction.  Armand will give BQB the scoop on his Dying Days series and I’ll steer clear of this guy lest my days be numbered.

Want more information on these fabulous zombie scribes?  CLICK HERE

Check out their books.  Tell your friends about them on social media.  Honestly, stop popping photos of your lunch on Facebook.  Put up a link to a zombie author instead.  Much more interesting than your chicken salad sandwich.  You don’t see zombies posting pictures of brains before we eat them do you?  No.  We’re too classy.

And while you’re at it, if you like their books (and I’m sure you will because BQB is known for spotting talent at 50 paces), leave them a review on whatever site you bought them from!  There’s nothing you can do to thank these zombie authors for helping to save BQB’s useless carcass more than leaving them an awesome review to make them feel appreciated for all the hard work they do in bringing zombie stories straight to your e-reader.

OK 3.5 readers, I see I’m about to get the hook.  That’s not a pun either.  There’s a survivalist chasing me with a hook.  I’d say you’ve been a great audience but I’ve seen livelier statues in a museum.

See you next Sunday!

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#31ZombieAuthors – Day 1 Interview – Sarah Lyons Fleming – Packing the Perfect Bug-Out Bag

sarah lyons fleming

FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:

Amazon

Facebook          Twitter

Website             Blog

Kicking off this zombie author interview series in style is Sarah Lyons Fleming, the writer behind the Until the End of the World series, billed as “a story of survival, humor and true love.  And zombies.”

Reading Order:

1 – Until the End of the World

2 – And After 

3 – All the Stars in the Sky

She’s also the author of the novella So Long Lollipops, but recommends you read Book One first before delving into it, unless you’re a sucker for spoilers.

NOTE: BOLD=BQB, Italics=Sarah

Q.  Hello Sarah.  BQB here.  I’ve called you because my friends and I find ourselves in quite a predicament.  We’re locked up tight in Price Town, a Wal-Mart-esque store with everything you could ever possibly want under one roof. The security gate is holding for now, but zombies continue to fling themselves at it in an effort to break in and feast on our sweet, sweet gray matter.  I doubt we’ll be able to stay here forever. My colleague, Alien Jones, has suggested we all pack a bag full of supplies in case we need to make a run for it.

On your Amazon Author page, you note that you have “an unhealthy obsession with bug-out bag equipment.”  So please enlighten us, what is in the perfect bug out bag?

A.  You are in quite a predicament, BQB, but you might just be in the best place. The perfect BOB (bug-out bag, not to be confused with “BQB”) should have everything you need for a situation where you have to leave your digs. Of course, your situation is zombies, so you’re going to need weapons, and fast. Let’s do that first.

Tools/Weapons:

Thankfully, Price Town has a camping/hunting section. Find a good knife, preferably full tang—one in which the metal of the blade continues to the end of the handle. Guns and ammo (your choice). A machete could work.

Thank God! Price Town has a two machetes for the price of one deal!

Thank God! Price Town has a two machetes for the price of one deal!

You might as well throw a few more quiet weapons in there, because guns will only call zombies your way.

Good screwdrivers: great for an eye socket and screwing things.

Maybe a hammer: Plus, you never know when you’ll have to board up a few windows.

Axe: firewood and skull-cracking, it doesn’t get any better than this.

You should have some tools anyway, or a good multi-tool, so these are dual purpose.     

Never a flame thrower—Moving zombie torches? No thanks!—although I think Price Town stopped carrying those after that one incident, as I’m sure you remember.

BQB EDITORIAL NOTE:  I do.  It was all over Network News One.  A sad day for the flame-throwing industry.  Back to you, Sarah.

But will it hold my action figures?

But will it hold my action figures?

You’ll need a large backpack. Remember, weight is going to be a big factor. Only put in the things you think you’ll need, and only get a bag as big as you can carry for long distances (and run from zombies while wearing). Use that waist belt to keep the load stable and take the strain off your shoulders. Cool looking? No, but you’ll thank me for it.

Now, what else do you need? Water, food and shelter, right?

Grab some bottles of water, along with a way to filter more. Water is heavy, and if you know you can reach a natural source of water and make it safe to drink, all that weight won’t slow you down. I have a UV filter, a hiking filter and a Lifestraw. They’re not all in my BOB, but, obviously and possibly frighteningly, I really like water filters.

Food: Try to go light on this—cans are great, but they’re heavy, so look for things that come in packets or things such as nuts and dried fruits and protein bars. MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) are a wonderful invention. Not having to cook is always a plus. You can get a backpacking stove if you insist on warming things up. And, let’s face it, a hot cup of coffee or tea may just give you the sanity you need to survive another day. But there’s always a campfire for that.

A light cooking pot and metal utensils so you can cook and eat that food. Don’t forget you’ll have to clean out the pot, so you might want a sponge.

Clothes: Shelter your body first. What’s the weather like? Pack for it. Stay dry. Ponchos/rain gear may not be the height of fashion, but they keep off rain and zombie guts. Extra socks and underwear (because when being chased by the undead, there are bound to be a few accidents). Also, GLOVES. Make them leather—good for the cold and rough handiwork, as well as keeping those zombie teeth off your skin.

BQB's stain resistant teflon underpants, designed by Dr. Hugo himself. Resistant to all zombie related accidents!

BQB’s stain resistant teflon underpants, designed by Dr. Hugo himself. Resistant to all zombie related accidents!

Shelter: A tent? Maybe, and only if it’s very light. A tarp? That works, too. Don’t forget rope to string it up—actually, just don’t forget rope in general. It’s a useful item. Emergency blankets will help to keep you warm, and they weigh next to nothing. Wool blankets would be better, and insulate even when wet. A light sleeping bag is awesome. Garbage bags can be stuffed with leaves to make a sleeping pad and get you off the wet/cold ground. Be creative if you don’t have room for the fancy stuff like a tent.

Heat: Don’t skimp on this. How much does a lighter weigh? Yeah, next to nothing. How about matches? Put them all in a waterproof container and hunt down a flint fire starter. You should have three ways to make fire. You can make your own tinder but, hey, you’re in Price Town. Get some of that emergency tinder. Or a tube of Vaseline and a bag of cotton balls—works like a dream once you’ve soaked the cotton balls with the petroleum jelly.

First Aid: We all know there’s no coming back from a zombie bite, but other situations might arise where you’ll need to play doctor. Throw in some pain-killers, digestion-related meds, and any medicines you take regularly. If you can scavenge them, get some antibiotics. Yeah, you’ll need Band-Aids, bandages and ointments, but you could also need blood clotting agents, gauze, moleskin, tourniquet and a suture kit. These things can be expensive, but, right now in Price Town, they’re free. Go for it!

Hygiene: I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but showers may be a thing of the past. Get wet wipes and antibacterial wipes. All purpose camp soap. A small towel and washcloth. And you’re gonna need some toilet paper. Maybe a trowel to bury your, um, leavings. A small mirror can help you to make sure you look your best and be used for signaling. On second thought, don’t look in the mirror. You’re a mess.

Lighting: Flashlights, headlamps. Spare batteries (or get a hand crank light). You can’t see in the dark, and you’ll need to see what’s coming. In my BOB, I have several ways to light up my world, and so should you. I also have a solar charger with which to charge batteries/phones. It’s handy and pretty awesome, but it doesn’t need to be at the top of your list.

Other things: You’ll want a map of the area. Paper and a pencil to leave a note when/if the gang gets separated, or you’re suddenly inspired to write a poem. A compass and whistle. I have a small monocular as well.

It might do you no good in the zompoc, but a BOB should have some cash in it, preferably in small bills.

Two-way radios would be great. You want to be able to talk across long distances without screaming—unless you want to end up as dinner. Also, you might want a regular or shortwave radio. You’ll want to hear where to go when the government opens those Safe Zones, or know how to avoid them when they’re overrun by zombies. Because they will be.

Happy packing!

Q.  How did you come about this unhealthy obsession anyway?  What’s up with being a “wanna be prepper?”  Are we all doomed or is it a better safe than sorry thing?

A.  We’re all doomed, BQB. Every last one of us.

Nah, I really like camping supplies and survival stuff. And I like to be prepared—or at least semi-prepared—because I get edgy when I’m not. I call myself a “wannabe” because I don’t have a bunker or five years’ worth of food, but I do what I can. It’s easy enough to buy an extra box or can of something at the store and stick it in your pantry, right? You’d be surprised how quickly that adds up.

Q.  While everyone’s packing, let’s talk about your books.  How did you get into the writing game?

A.  I wanted to read a post-apocalyptic book with regular characters who were like me (slightly goofy, pretty snarky and definitely not military experts), so one day I decided to write it. Some of the characters have a leg up in that they have access to supplies, but they’re regular folks who face very irregular events.

As the story grew, I became so invested in the world and characters that it turned into a series. I’d never written fiction before, and now I can’t imagine NOT writing. It’s my happy place, even with the zombies.

41vqvdKyrfL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Q.  Your tale begins with Cassie Forrest who, according to Until the End of the World’s description, “isn’t surprised to learn that the day she’s decided to get her life together is also the day the world ends.”  Isn’t that always the way?  Irony, I tell you.  I often find myself lamenting that if something good happens to me, something bad must be lurking just around the corner to equal things out.  Why is that?  Are we all just saddled with bad timing?

A.  Stop being a pessimist, BQB! You won’t survive the zombies with that outlook. Even with all the hardship and loss, I think you’ll find it will all work out in the end, even when it doesn’t seem possible, even when people you love die. There isn’t always something bad lurking around the corner. Although there probably is a zombie, so look out!

Q.  Cassie’s obviously made some bad choices, chief among them dumping her fiancee Adrian and dating a jerk instead.  To make matters worse, she has to escape a zombifying virus outbreak with said jerky ex-boyfriend in tow.  To her credit, she longs to fix her mistakes.  Do you think readers identify with a protagonist who isn’t perfect?  I know I’ve made a few doozies I’d like to sweep under the rug, so I can relate to someone who longs to take back a bad choice or two.

A.  For sure. I can definitely relate to that. No one is perfect, as we all know, but I think most of us respect someone who learns from their mistakes and strives to be the person they want to be. Plus, perfect people—or people who think they are—are annoying. They make good zombie bait, though, so you might want to have one stashed away.

Q.  You’re into humor.  I try to be.  I heard a rumor this blog made one person in Ohio laugh once, but to date it’s unconfirmed.  Where does your sense of humor come from and how are you able to weave laughs into a story about people trying to avoid being eaten by vicious beasts?

A.  Ha! You’ve made me laugh, so now you’re up to two people. My humor? I suppose it came from my family—no one is safe from teasing, and to make fun of yourself is comedy gold.

I think that you need to laugh, even in the zombie apocalypse. If you can’t find anything to laugh about, you might as well lie down in front of the zombies and call it a day. I’m the kind of person who thinks of jokes at completely inappropriate times, so it comes easy for me. Of course, there are plenty of parts that don’t call for humor, but you have to laugh at some point. When I reach that point, I take it.

Q.  On your blog, “Whatnot,” you talk about all the research you did for All the Stars in the Sky.  At least one or two of my 3.5 readers are aspiring writers.  Do you have any tips on tracking down the information required to bring a sense of realism to their tales?

A.  I can’t imagine doing all the research I’ve done without the internet. I’d have to live at the library. Google Maps Street View is my best friend, as are a multitude of random websites. But I also pester unsuspecting people with emails and phone calls. I’ve gotten some good tips that way. I wanted to see the inside of a grocery distribution center for my third book, so I found one by me and contacted the company. And what do you know? I got a tour of the inside by an amused manager who liked zombies. You never know until you ask!

Q.  Thanks for taking the time to speak with me.  Before I go, do you have any last minute advice to help me brave the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?

A. Head shots. Always.

Also, don’t forget to laugh, and never forget you need to surround yourself with good people. You don’t want to laugh by yourself—that just looks crazy. So you’ll need them, both for companionship and to watch your six.

Thanks for calling, BQB. Good luck!

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#31ZombieAuthors – The Full Schedule

shutterstock_225100087 copy

Want to know what day your favorite zombie author is stopping by the Bookshelf Battle Blog?

See the info below.  3.5 readers, these writers were kind enough to help me out, so please help them out as much as you can.

Check out their books.  If you enjoy them, leave a review.  Reviews on Amazon send authors higher up the charts, so you can help them out.  Tell your friends about them through your favorite time wasting social media site.

DETAILED SCHEDULES

If you want a short synopsis of who the authors are and what they’re going to talk about:

Oct. 1 – 10 Interviews

Oct. 11-20 Interviews

Lineup for Oct. 21-31 is coming.

THE QUICK SCHEDULE

If you just want the author’s name and date of appearance, see below.  Clicking on the author’s name will bring you to their Amazon page.

DAY IN OCTOBER

1 – Sarah Lyons Fleming

2 – Jamie Johnesee 

3 – Stevie Kopas

4 – Ann Christy 

5 – Perrin Briar

6 – S.G. Lee

7 – Gillian Zane

8 – Joseph “Zombie” Zuko

9 – Devan Sagliani

10 – Armand Rosamillia 

11 – Rachel Aukes

12 – Joe McKinney

13 – Michael Cairns

14 – Kate L. Mary 

15 – Peter Meredith

16 – Saul Tanpepper

17 – Jeremy Laszlo

18 – Deirdre Gould

19 – Eric A. Shelman 

20 – Rachel Higginson

21 – Al K. Line

22 – Ryan Casey

23 – Peter Cawdron

24 – W.J. Lundy 

25 – Luke Duffy 

26 – Rhiannon Frater

27 – Jake Bible 

28 – A. Giacomi

29 – Rick Chesler AND David Sakmyster

30 – J.M. Wilde

31 –  David W. Wright of the Self Publishing Podcast

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Amazon’s $50 Tablet

Amazon has released a $50 tablet.

They’re so cheap you can buy a 5-pack for $250.

Use them as stocking stuffers.  Hell, leave one by your bed, one in your car, one at the office, one on your kitchen table, toss them all over and you won’t be without a tablet next time you need one.

Does your kid keep bugging you for your tablet?  Give them this one so they won’t get their greasy fingers all over yours.

Are they any good?  God I hope not or else I overspent on my last tablet.

What’s Amazon up to?  Assumably, they want to get their products into the hands of as many people as possible and are reaching into the market of folks who normally couldn’t afford a tablet…which is a good thing.

That or perhaps with Apple and Samsung tearing up the tablet market, perhaps they might think “$50 bucks could convince an Apple user to try us out.”

And they’re right.  I’ve been curious about Kindle, but not enough to abandon my iPad.  $50 might convince me to check it out.

What will it mean for us aspiring scribes?  More people with tablets=more readers?

More readers for other people.  I only have 3.5.

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#31ZombieAuthors/BQB’s Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal – A Preview

Without delving too far into spoilers, here are some highlights/plot points to look forward to:

#31ZombieAuthors - Oct 1-31 on the Bookshelf Battle Blog

#31ZombieAuthors – Oct 1-31 on the Bookshelf Battle Blog

  • Bookshelf Q. Battler, his girlfriend, Video Game Rack Fighter, and an incognito Alien Jones (posing as the couple’s deformed child) visit the East Randomtown Mall to observe a demonstration of Dr. Hugo Von Science’s latest invention, the Reality TV star transmogrifier, billed as the solution to turning people who are famous for doing nothing into productive members of society.
  • The experiment goes wrong, the stars are zombified, and BQB, VGRF, AJ and BQB’s old friend, Bernie Plotznick, become trapped in the mall.
  • BQB’s 3.5 readers will recognize Bernie as MC Plotznick.  In the late 90’s/early 2000’s Bernie and BQB were a duo of wholesome rappers dubbed “The Funky Hunks” whose raps only included positive advice, like looking both ways before crossing the street and recycling.  Naturally, they were miserable failures in the rap game.  BQB has moved on.  Bernie clings to the past, yearning for a Funky Hunk resurgence.
  • Other Bookshelf Battle Blog semi-regular characters, Aunt Gertie (BQB’s Aunt) and Blandie Settler (BQB’s ex-girlfriend) require our hero’s assistance.  Will BQB come to their rescue in time?  Will VGRF be cool with her man saving an ex?
  • Amongst East Randomtown residents, there is a rivalry as to who should be considered the town’s most famous citizen.  Some claim it is Doug Hauser, who once, during the 1980’s, appeared as an extra for 30 seconds on a cop drama TV show in which he played a drug dealer who had the crap beaten out of him.  Others claim the title goes to Bookshelf Q. Battler, who has brought glory to an otherwise unknown burg by building a WordPress blog that attracts 3.5 readers.
  • Naturally, Doug and BQB, due to their relative fame amongst the East Randomtown citizenry, will be looked to for leadership.  Will they be able to set aside their differences in order to govern justly in the wake of a leadership vacuum or will the rivalry consume them?
  • There is a slight amount of Pop Culture Mysteries crossover in that General Morganstern, a corrupt military leader, wants to use the zombie apocalypse as an excuse to blow up BQB in order to shut down the Bookshelf Battle Blog and effectively silence Jake from revealing the details of a top secret mission.
  • And if that’s not enough pressure, the Mighty Potentate aka Alien Jones’ boss, as the 3.5 are aware, has long held that BQB is the chosen one, i.e. a writer who will one day write a book so expertly crafted that it will inspire the masses to drop all interest in reality television altogether, thus preventing a form of programming hated by the MP from spreading throughout the universe.
  • Ergo, the Mighty Potentate informs Alien Jones that should BQB become zombie chow, he will dispatch a legion of alien shock troops to conquer Earth for the sole purpose of banning reality TV.
  • And also Alien Jones will be vaporized.

HOW IT ALL WORKS

  • Every day in October, BQB’s Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal will explain what BQB and Co. are up to on said day.
  • Though the zombie apocalypse causes massive power failure and phone service disruptions, Alien Jones is the proud owner of a space phone.  Powered by plutonium and able to contact anyone anywhere in the universe with said device, BQB will take a break from the action once a day to contact and interview a different zombie author.
  • Not to toot my own horn, but a number of zombie authors involved, individuals far more published and experienced than I, have informed this nerd that they find the whole idea fun and hilarious.
  • Even if zombies aren’t your thing, writers and self-publishers will want to stop by anyway, as the zombie authors, in addition to advising BQB on how to survive a zombie apocalypse, will also share about their writing process, publishing tips, etc.

I hope you’ll all join me Oct 1 and follow the zombie mayhem every day throughout October 31.

Any help you could provide in promo’ing this – on your blog, your favorite time wasting social media site, etc. would be appreciated.

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Zombie and Zombie Authors Respond to #31ZombieAuthors

Happy Friday, 3.5.

Have you checked out the info for #31ZombieAuthors yet?

First, heres what the zombies had to say:

“Grrrr.  Arrrrgh!!!”

– Zombie randomly dressed like one of the Village people, making you wonder if his other three friends are ok.

“Ugh…..brains….BRAINS!”

– A zombie who apparently was delivering a pizza when he was bitten because he just carries a large pepperoni with extra cheese everywhere he goes now.

“Bahhhh….ack…reading your dumb blog turned me into a zombie…”

– Formerly one of the 3.5 readers

Everyone’s a critic.

What about the zombie authors?

I must say, the online indie/self-publishing community is awesome.

Here’s what I naturally assumed was going to happen:

BQB:  Hi!  I’m Bookshelf Q. Battler, owner of a magic bookshelf and best friend of an alien.  Would you like to talk to me about zombies in October?

AUTHORS:  Security!!!!

And here’s what’s happened (and literally mostly in just the past day):

BQB: Hi! I’m Bookshelf Q. Battler, owner of a magic bookshelf and best friend of an alien. Would you like to talk to me about zombies in October?

AUTHORS: Sure, what do you need?

Amazing.

And let me tell you, if all goes well, what a diverse group we’ve got lined up, 3.5 readers.

Authors just starting.  Authors who are old pros.  Romantic zombie authors.  Zombie survival authors.  Funny zombie authors.  It’s a veritable zombie-smorgasbord.

I’m not sure if any of them want me to put them out there just yet, but I’ll get a lineup out there eventually.

Dr. Hugo Von Science, Harbinger of the Zombie Apocalypse

Dr. Hugo Von Science, Harbinger of the Zombie Apocalypse

Also, I’m not at 31 yet and ideally, I’d like to get well above 31 because, you know, things happen.  Maybe an author changes his/her mind.  Maybe they become zombies themselves.  Maybe they have to tend to their own survivor groups.  Who knows?

So if you know a zombie author, please let them know.

Clarification

One question that comes up – does the author have to be available on a certain day in October?

Answer – No.  I’m hoping to get every author’s post finished by the end of September so everything’s ready to run in October.

It’s like you’re in a TV show!  You taped it earlier, but it doesn’t run until later!

A TV show with only 3.5 people watching.

Any Special Guests?

They’re all special.

Who Gets the Coveted Halloween End of Interview Series Post?

As I said above, they’re all special.  I was surprised any of them responded, because, I repeat, I’m a guy who claims to talk to aliens.

That being said, I received a yes from two personal heroes who have really inspired this nerd to clack away at the computer keys, so All Hallow’s Eve is all theirs.

I’ll hold off on the details until there’s an official Zombie Author Roster.

Isn’t this awesome?

It really is.  3.5, we’re going to be talking the some of the greatest minds in the zombie-sphere.  So many brains in one place.  Keep the zombies away.

So what’s next?

Here’s where it gets tricky.

To those just tuning in, I’m on a one post a day challenge.  One post on this blog every day for a year.

I’m thinking this zombie challenge really ups the game a bit.  I will have to redouble my efforts because at the end of the day, I want these 31 zombie authors and their fans (zombie and human alike) to be happy.

So, roll up my sleeves I will.  I have to make a spreadsheet just to keep track of all the authors and who I’ve asked what.

And zombie authors tuning in, the tough part will be coordinating my zombie apocalypse story with your interview.

I foresee each day will bring a new entry in BQB’s Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal.

Day 1 will be longer because it’s the set up of how BQB, VGRF and Alien Jones get trapped in the East Randomtown Mall in the midst of a zombie horde and have to make their way home.

Each day, BQB will update the 3.5 readers with the latest action in the apocalypse and then pause for a Q and A with a zombie author.

Some of those q’s will be advice on zombie apocalypse survival.  That’s probably going to be depend on the individual authors.  Hopefully, some will play along.  Others I fear may just tell me that’s dumb, though hey, no one’s told me no yet so who knows.

What BQB asks will vary amongst the authors, so I’m going to have to do a lot of planning.

There will be questions about writing craft, self publishing, etc. which, ok, yes that’s silly.  BQB, evil undead creatures are trying to eat you, why are you talking about writing?

That’ll be one of those “please suspend your disbelief” moments, 3.5.

What are your questions?

Readers, something like this rarely happens, so don’t waste it.  What questions do you have for our zombie experts?

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Ask the Alien – 8/9/15 – A.H. Browne – Do Aliens Still Probe?

By:  Alien Jones, Intergalactic Correspondent

Plus 5, carry the one = get some more roughage in your diet.

Plus 5, carry the one = get some more roughage in your diet.

Greetings Earth losers!

Earth losers, this is a very special edition of Ask the Alien.

Sometimes societies do things that are wrong and don’t realize those actions are wrong until years later.

It’s happened on your planet.  Europeans arrived in the New World, declared it to be theirs, ignoring the natives’ protests of, “Hey, guys, we’re right here.  We can totally hear you.”

To put it in perspective, imagine how P.O.’d you’d be if you were relaxing in your living room, watching some human sporting event, enjoying a beer and a pizza and out of nowhere, a European explorer plunks a flag down on your barca lounger and announces your crap is his crap now.

But I digress.

Aliens have their own sordid past and a question from science fiction author A.H. Browne of “Pouring my Art Out” causes this outer space traveler to rehash a dark time in my species’ history:

Actually, my first question was going to be; “Uh, you aren’t going to probe us, are you?” You jumped the gun on that one.

Indeed, I’ve addressed this difficult topic before, but since only 3.5 people read Bookshelf Q. Battler’s nonsense, it’s worth repeating.

Yes, it’s true.  In the past, and for many, many years, our Supreme Overlord, the Mighty Potentate, commissioned a series of abductions, which were carried out as follows:

  • Kidnap humans
  • Insert probing devices in hind quarters
  • Retrieve data on what makes humans tick, how they function, and what they had for breakfast
  • Return humans to Earth.
  • Spritz them with gin so NOBODY believes them.
  • In fact, to make sure nobody believes them, we usually took eccentric folk in the first place.  You know that guy at the bar who’s always babbling about how the government is reading his mind and cats are actually spies that report all of your activities to the CIA?  Yeah, we’d usually scoop him up in a heartbeat.

Was probing our finest hour?

No, but we learned a lot about you and after 10,000 years of experience, we offer, in the name of peace and putting this sad chapter behind us, the full summation of our probing knowledge:

Eat more fiber.  Seriously.  You’re all backed up worse than I95 after a semi-truck rollover in the eastbound express lane.

Further, a public service announcement:

The Mighty Potentate cancelled the probing project over a thousand years ago.  There has not been an officially sanctioned probing expedition since medieval times.  If you want to know why the dark ages were full of angry people who were constantly hacking each other to pieces, it’s because they were so angry that we were probing the bejesus out of them.

But that’s all done now.  Once we reached the limit of all possible data available through lodging roving robotic devices into human nether regions, the MP put the kibosh on the whole deal.  After all, no one wants to waste their time watching something they’ve already seen.  It’s like MASH.  Why are the reruns still on the air?  We get it, Klinger.  You’re wearing that dress in the hopes the brass will send you home.

However, we do have some young aliens who don’t know any better.  Your human teenagers range from 13-19.  Our aliens have their young and dumb period between 100-1,000.  I always say, “Boy, I hope no one thinks ill of me just because of some stupid stuff I did when I was 999 and didn’t know any better.”

Anyway, our younguns often get rowdy and their idea of a fun Saturday night includes:

  • Flying to Earth
  • Probing humans
  • Teleporting cows to different locations, thus confusing the cow and the human farmer who’s left wondering where his cow went.
  • Crop circles (the Mighty Potentate had once ordered these markings to show our shock troops where to land, but the hostile takeover was cancelled once your planet invented reality TV, thus proving to the MP that your species wouldn’t be a welcome addition to his empire.)

In short, if an alien demands to probe you, he does this without the Mighty Potentate’s blessing, and thus you may feel free to defend yourself from insertion of a Probe-o-matic.

Usually, all you have to do is state to the alien intruder, “I’m telling the Mighty Potentate on you!” and they’ll skeedaddle.

Ornery aliens always wise up once the possibility of vaporization is on the table.

Now that you humans no longer have to fear probing, might I suggest that you use your new found free time to read one of Browne’s books?  For example, a lazy, opinionated janitor at an intergalactic Texas saloon becomes an unlikely hero during a spaceship hijacking in Saloon at the Edge of Nowhere.

Browne seems to have a good sense of humor, so the 3.5 of you who enjoy BQB’s scribblings will probably like this book too.

(Did I really get through an article about probing and not make a Browne/brown pun?  I’m slipping.)

Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle Blog, on a mission to raise Earth’s collective intelligence levels one question at a time. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Tweet it to @bookshelfbattle on Twitter, leave it in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com, or stop by Bookshelf Battle on Google Plus. If he likes your question, he might even promote your book, blog, other project in his answer.

Image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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Pop Culture Mysteries – Fan Dime Drops – For the 3.5 (Part 2)

PREVIOUSLY ON POP CULTURE MYSTERIES…

Part 1

AND NOW THE POP CULTURE MYSTERIES CONTINUE…

In a cramped study room, we sat across a table from one another, sizing each other up, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Delilah was a gorgeous specimen of a lady, everything perfect, not a single hair out of place.  My inner animal wanted to gobble her up, but we weren’t there for hanky panky.

We were there to bargain.

Never cross a lady lawyer.

Never cross a lady lawyer.

She clacked open her briefcase and handed me a dossier.  Inside?

Printouts from the Bookshelf Battle Blog.

“Your reports have pleased Mr. Battler.  Sometimes his readership spikes to a grand total of 17.5 readers when there’s a Pop Culture Mysteries post.”

“Good for him,”  I replied.  “He might as well start packing his bags for LaLa Land.  He can have it.”

“Mr. Battler’s readers have enjoyed your files to the point where they have mysteries of their own.”

“As much as I’d like to stare at your lovely face all day, Ms. Donnelly, I’ve got a beep boop machine class to get back to, so let’s grab a pair of scissors and cut to the chase, shall we?”

“Very well.  Three readers have stepped forward with entertainment related questions that deserve an answer and as Mr. Battler’s resident detective, that task falls on your shoulders.”

“How much?”

“Nothing,”  Delilah said.  “You’ve already agreed to do it gratis.”

The conniving counselor handed me the contract I signed the night I first met her, as well as a magnifying glass.  I scrutinized the document and low and behold, she wasn’t just whistling dixie:

Mr. Hatcher agrees to solve any Pop Culture Mysteries posed to him by Mr. Battler’s 3.5 readers.

Take a note.  When you’re dealing with a foxy broad, always check the fine print.

“What in the name of J. Edgar Hoover’s evening gown are you trying to pull here, sister?!”

I took another peak through the magnifying glass.

“What’s this about selling my kidneys?!”

Delilah snatched the paper back.

“Best we focus on the matter at hand, Mr. Hatcher.  You should be delighted.  Mr. Battler’s renewing your tales for a second season.”

“I don’t care about any of that, doll.  I just want to go home.  Your client is a real snake in the grass for holding out on me.”

Our client, Mr. Hatcher.  Now then, Mr. Battler does not expect a thorough investigation for these questions.  He has simply asked me to relay his 3.5 inquiries and to obtain your reaction.  Certainly, these shorter mysteries will be no match for a investigator of your skill.”

I doubt she meant it, if there was any way to win over the shattered pieces of my heart, a compliment from a good looking lady was it.

I’m sure she knew that and used it to her advantage.

DELILAH:  Mr. Hatcher, Michael Gunter of “Michael Gunter’s Tales of Today and Yesterday” contacted Mr. Battler with this concern:

Here’s one for ya, Hatcher!

The mark’s name is Nedry. Dennis Nedry. He ticked off the wrong people (don’t mess with mega-corporations) and got eaten by a dinosaur. But that’s not your problem. What we want to know is why the idiot shut down ALL the security systems. If he programmed the whole system, why didn’t he just set it up so he could shut down specific systems, instead of letting every dinosaur in the park loose? I’d make a joke about buggy code, but he got eaten, didn’t he? Joke practically wrote itself.

I lit up my cigar and had a puff.  The carcinogens danced to and fro in my lungs as I mulled over my answer.

“Gunter,”  I said.  “Another one of these Mickey Spillane types with a blog-a-ma-call-it?”

“Indeed,”  Delilah said.  “I’ve heard he can even be followed on twitter @GunterWriting.”

I turned away and exhaled my exhaust.  I’d no sooner coat Ms. Donnelly’s visage with fumes than I would the Mona Lisa.

“I’m the last cat you want to be asking questions about beep boop machines,”  I said.  “After all, I am a student in an introductory computer course taught by an old broad who can beep boop laps around me.  Why was this Nedry character on the lam?”

“Corporate espionage,”  Ms. Donnelly answered.  “Mr. Nedry was secretly paid for a rival company that wanted Jurassic Park’s dinosaur genetic material.”

“Yeesh,”  I said.  “The stuff that passes for cinema now.  Well, like I said, computers go over my head higher than a Boeing, but I’ve caught a lot of crooks and I’d wager Nedry did it just to screw with the employer he was already screwing.  Maybe he thought it’d be harder to track him down if his co-workers were busy wrangling dinosaurs.  Or, and I know this is probably an unsatisfactory answer, but maybe he just did it because it wouldn’t have been much of a flick if all the dinosaurs remained in their cages in a safe and secure manner.”

“An astute answer,”  Delilah said.  “I shall have Mr. Battler contact Mr. Gunter with the details shortly.”

“Who else wants a piece of the Jersey Jabber?”

Do you have a Pop Culture Mystery?  Drop a dime!  Tweet your entertainment questions to @bookshelfbattle or leave them in the comments below.  

Copyright (c) 2015 Bookshelf Q. Battler.  All Rights Reserved.

Image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license. 

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Ask The Alien – 8/02/15 – Java Davis, The Road Trip Writer

Greetings Earth Losers!

The Road Trip Alien

The Road Trip Alien

Another Sunday and that means another installment of “Ask the Alien,” the only column where a) a representative of the most intelligent species in the universe does what he can to raise Earth’s intelligence levels and b) another fiction author is supported, thus striking another crucial blow in the battle against reality television.

Scripted media is where it’s at and my boss, the Mighty Potentate, hates any kind of TV show that features words in the title like, “Who Wants to Be a Blank…” or “Something Something Wars” or “Blank Makeover.”

This week’s question comes from Java Davis, The Road Trip Writer.

Java is a modern day Jack Kerouac of sorts, traveling the open road and sharing stories and photos of his journeys, as well as his love of coffee.

He reminds me of Voro Chabadox, the only alien to visit every planet in the universe, fueled only by Starbucks (we have them out here too.)

In his book, Flying with Chabadox, Voro claims that he actually reached the edge of the universe, only to find a giant sign on an insurmountable wall that read, “There’s nothing to see here.  Go away.”

All kinds of theories abound about what’s behind the great end of universe wall.  I’ve deduced it’s a locale where the answers to the greatest mysteries of life are kept.  Other aliens argue it’s where the afterlife is located.  The Mighty Potentate is certain it’s where all your socks go when they go missing, as well as your lost keys, cell phones, and other stuff you swear you just put down a second ago and now for the life of you can’t find anywhere.

Perhaps we’ll never know what’s behind that wall, but at least fellow traveler Java has shared what he’s learned on the open road.

He’s also authored a number of books, all of them conveniently laid out here.  Java does one thing that I rarely see indie authors do and that’s offer a large print edition of his books.

The Mighty Potentate will appreciate that.  He doesn’t like to admit it but he just had his 999,999th birthday and once we aliens start pushing a million, the old visual receptors aren’t what they used to be.

(Don’t tell him I said that.  You know, his penchant for vaporization and all.)

Of particular interest to self-publishers might be Java’s non-fiction book, On Becoming a Dinosaur.  Java used to be a typesetter, an occupation that was replaced by desktop publishing, and so he explains how that all came about and his adjustment to his career becoming obsolete.

It happens to the best of us, you know.  As a hyper intelligent alien, I have impeccable foresight, and can advise you all that this whole Internet craze will one day be remembered as quaint once the neural implants start but whoops, I’ve said too much.

Java has been a fan of Pop Culture Mysteriesa blog serial that Bookshelf Q. Battler is currently working with hardboiled detective Jake Hatcher on turning into a book.

Personally, I wonder when the Alien Jones book is coming because, you know, it’s not like my epic life as a space traveling warrior/diplomat/servant of the Mighty Potentate could ever be fodder for a fantastic book that would blow the minds of BQB’s 3.5 readers or anything.

Don’t worry.  I’m not bitter.

But in addition to dropping some pop culture dimes to BQB’s gumshoe, the Road Trip Writer was also concerned enough about how to help indie authors learn how to consult my genius brain that he asked:

Dear Alien Jones, how does an indie author go about engaging with your alien self?

May you continue to wow us with tales of your cross country travels, JD.

Thank you for stopping by with your question.  The answer is as easy as checking out the weekly after column blurb below:

Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle Blog, on a mission to raise Earth’s collective intelligence levels one question at a time. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Tweet it to @bookshelfbattle on Twitter, leave it in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com, or stop by Bookshelf Battle on Google Plus. If he likes your question, he might even promote your book, blog, other project in his answer.

Image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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