Tag Archives: entertainment

PREVIEW TRAILER – Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life

Infamous Uber Nerd Bookshelf Q. Battler takes on the world - coming May 15 to a blog near you.

Infamous Uber Nerd Bookshelf Q. Battler takes on the world – coming May 15 to a blog near you.

ANNOUNCER:  Meet Bookshelf Q.Battler.  Geek?  Dweeb?  Nerd? These words don’t do him justice.

BQB:  Where did I leave my limited edition Capt. Jean Luc-Picard tea cozy?

ANNOUNCER:  And this summer?  HE’S GOING TO DIE!

BQB:  Damn it!  I haven’t even Netflixed Daredevil yet!

ANNOUNCER:  But he’ll come back to life as a man on a mission to answer life’s most illusive question.

BQB:  Why did the series finale of Dexter suck with the gale force winds of a thousand Hoovermatics?

ANNOUNCER:  Who’s the announcer here?

BQB:  Sorry.

ANNOUNCER:  You should be.  “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?”

BQB:  Damned if I know.

ANNOUNCER:  Bookshelf Q. Battler, aka BQB, you know him as the author of a blog with 3.5 readers…

BQB:  One of them’s my aunt!

AUNT GERTIE:  Oh BQB I loved your post about the pancakes you had for breakfast this morning, bubalah.

ANNOUNCER:  He’s also the owner of a magic bookshelf.  Put a book on it and tiny versions of the book’s characters will pop out and fight over limited shelf space.

BQB:  Guys, just once I’d like to get through one day without my headquarters being set on fire by tiny literary protagonists.

ANNOUNCER: But he’ll leave it all behind to travel to a war torn nation in search of answers.

BQB:  I mean, Dexter just drives his boat up to a hospital and then walks out with his sister and NO ONE SAYS A WORD TO HIM?  WTF?!!

ANNOUNCER:  He might even find a love interest on the way…

BQB:  Is it Katee Sackhoff?

ANNOUNCER:  But will our nerdy hero be able to open up his heart?

BQB:  Oh my God, just tell me.  It’s Katee Sackhoff, isn’t it?

ANNOUNCER:  It’s not Katee Sackhoff.

BQB:  Damn it man, who wrote this drivel?!

ANNOUNCER:  You did.

BQB:  Rewrite!  “And…then…Katee Sackhoff was all over Bookshelf Q. Battler like stink on a monkey…”

ANNOUNCER:  Friday, May 15, the journey begins on the Bookshelf Battle Blog, located at bookshelfbattle.com  –  Follow updates on Twitter (@bookshelfbattle)

Read along as our noble book blogger goes on a worldwide journey of self introspection.  We’ll learn a lot about him…including his real name.

BQB:  Bookshelf Q. Sackhoff.

Copyright (C) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Worldly nerd image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license

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Project X – A Sneak Peak

Coming to the Bookshelf Battle Blog June 1, a serial so cool that Bookshelf Q. Battler is holding back on the title for now…

Hatcher and Betsy

Hatcher and Betsy

Meet Jake Hatcher.  He’s a 1950’s era hardboiled private detective in the tradition of Sam Spade or Phillip Marlowe.  Film noir fans rejoice.

He isn’t just any old gumshoe.  With the help of his trusty service revolver Betsy, he dispatched numerous Nazis during World War II and was even involved in a mission so secret that it can’t be discussed just yet, even on a blog that only has 3.5 readers.

After the fall of the Third Reich, Hatcher became a bur in the britches of LA’s criminal underworld, feeding Betsy a steady diet of wiseguys to replace the agents of Der Fuhrer that she’d grown accustomed to.

The twist?  One night in 1955, Hatcher fell asleep in his office desk chair.  When he woke up, it was 2014.  For the past year, he’s been aimlessly wandering the streets of the City of Angels, desperately trying to figure out how he lost 59 years and if there’s a way to get back to his own time.

Mysterious Blonde Dame

Mysterious Blonde Dame

This summer, a mysterious blonde dame will walk into Hatcher’s life on the finest pair of getaway sticks this side of the Rio Grande.  This femme fatale claims she can help our hero figure out how he lost 59 years.  She even says she can help him return to his own era.

But he’s going to have to jump through a lot of hoops first.

Mysteries are afoot in modern times and Hatcher needs to dust off his sleuthing skills and get to work.

What kind of mysteries?  BQB will get back to you on that one.

Is this dame on the level or is Hatcher being played like a harpsichord?

Only time will tell…and the catch?

You’ll have to help him.

Yes, there will be some reader interactivity and of course, Bookshelf Q. Battler’s unique brand of humor will be present throughout.  Even so, this new feature will be an interesting diversion from BQB’s usual schtick.

For now, the owner of the magic bookshelf is keeping a lot under his hat.  He’s pretty proud of this one and hopes you will be too.

Your loyal blog host has been working his behind off for the past few months, getting “The Summer of Bookshelf” serial extravaganza together.

Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life begins on May 15.  The “Named to Be Announced Later” Project X starts June 1. Throughout the summer, these two serials will run up against one another.  You’ll have BQB and the Meaning of Life for a week or so, then Project X for a while, then they’ll switch back in forth that way until the end of the summer.

For your reading pleasure, these stories have been serialized into daily chunks, easily consumed without taking too much time from your busy schedules.

So take BQB’s hand 3.5 readers and get ready for what will prove to be an awesome summer to say the least.

Copyright Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Detective and blonde woman photos courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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Comic Book Girl 19’s Vids=Awesome

If you’re a nerd (and chances are if you’re here then you are) then you’ll totally enjoy ComicBookGirl19’s youtube channel.

She’s funny, she’s witty, her videos are well produced.  For Game of Thrones fans she has a bunch of videos where she gives you the scoop on the historical background of the various houses.  I know I felt a little lost watching the show until I found her videos and was able to learn the who’s who and what’s what of Westeros.

She also has fun characters that appear on her show like “Robot” and “Space Brain.”  I dunno.  Seems a little nerdy to me.  Dudes who claim to know aliens and yetis would be into that sort of thing I suppose.

Anyway, we’re all “indies” in one way or another just trying to get a foothold in this big wide world of Internet commentary, but I’d argue her videos provide a good standard for e-nerds to aspire to.

Here’s her movie review of Avengers: Age of Ultron

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Movie Review – The Age of Adaline (2015)

It’s an eternal romance that makes you think about the fragility of life and love.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here to review the crap out of The Age of Adaline.

Warning:  spoilers to come.

The incomparable Blake Lively, star of stage, screen and many of Bookshelf Q. Battler’s fantasies stars as Adaline Bowman.  Born at the turn of the Twentieth Century, she experiences a freak accident that leaves her ageless.  No matter how many years pass, she continues to remain young and beautiful.

TRAILER – Age of Adaline – Lionsgate

When Adaline hits her forties, people begin asking questions about how she’s managed to remain so youthful and so her life of solitude begins.  Afraid to reveal her secret, she packs up and moves to a new place every ten years, taking on a new identity every time she does so.

Tragically, she refuses to look for love as she figures it will be too heartbreaking when she grows old while a significant other remains young.

Continue reading

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Game of Thrones – Season 5 – Episode 4 – “The Sons of the Harpy” – Wrap Up 5/3/15

I totally lied.

I’m road tripping it a few days (which will make the one post a day challenge interesting) and wasn’t sure I’d be able to watch Game of Thrones tonight.

But I did!

So here we go (SPOILERS – Seriously, perhaps the BIGGEST SPOILER OF THE SERIES COMING):

  • Jamie and Bronn – Great fight scene and Jamie realizes his fake hand is good for something.
  • Sand Snakes – Ellaria is going forward with a plan to go to war.
  • The Sparrows – Cersei’s done an end run around the Council, creating her own private religious army to sic on sinners who happen to piss her off.  (I’m a little surprised Ser Loras didn’t kick a few asses before being caught).  Also, we’re pretty sure she’s going to have Ser Meryn wack poor trusting Lord Tyrell on the way to the Iron Bank aren’t we?
  • Tommen – Caught between his wife and mother.  Kid’s totally whipped.
  • Selmy and Gray Worm – Quite an amazing fight scene with the Sons of the Harpy.  Is Selmy gone?
  • Jorah and the Imp – Sounds like a buddy cop show.  Tyrion’s right.  What a waste of a good kidnapping.  He was on his way to see the Khaleesi anyway.
  • Jon Snow – Dude resisted the Red Woman’s advances.  There’s a man who takes his vows seriously.  Maybe too seriously because wow…you know, the Red Woman is hot and stuff.  (By the way, he knows nothing!!!)
  • Stannis – Stannis’ speech about all he did to save his daughter when everyone else told him to give up rose his stock in my book.
  • Sansa/Littlefinger – Sansa mentions that Rhaegar kidnapped and raped her aunt, Lyanna Stark, who had been betrothed to Robert Baratheon.  Littlefinger didn’t say anything in response but had a knowing look on his face.  This was actually a big time dropped bombshell.  A)  If Rhaegar didn’t kidnap Lyanna then Robert’s rebellion was in vain and B) maybe those two had a kid…a kid that…KNOWS NOTHING!!! DUN DUN DUN!

What did I miss?  What was your favorite part?

Good old Bookshelf Q. Battler, going that extra mile for his adoring 3.5 fans!

cropped-img_1757.jpg

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No Game of Thrones Wrap Up Tonight

Hey Fantasy Nerds,

My apologies, there will be no Game of Thrones wrap-up tonight on the Bookshelf Battle Blog.

In the meantime, you should really be reading the top notch tale that is “Game of Yetis.”  Here’s the most recent installment.IMG_1757

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Movie Review – Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Iron Man!  Thor!  Hulk!  Captain America!  Black Widow!  Hawkeye!  Various and sundry other Avengers!

ASSEMBLE!

It’s time for Bookshelf Q. Battler’s review of Avengers: Age of Ultron!

Dun…dun dun da dun…dun dun…dunnnnn….dun dun da dun dun dun!

Sorry, that was me trying to sing the Avengers’ theme song.  Doesn’t translate well through the written word.

The summer movie season is has arrived and Hollywood is coming out swinging with this superhero extravaganza.

If you SPOILERS make you angrier than Bruce Banner with a stubbed toe, you might not want to click below:

Continue reading

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And Now a Special Message from A Bunch of Hot Action Star Chicks

By:  A Bunch of Hot Action Star Chicks, Special Guest Contributors to the Bookshelf Battle Blog

A Bunch of Hot Chicks With Guns - Special Bookshelf Battle Guest Contributors

A Bunch of Hot Chicks With Guns – Special Bookshelf Battle Guest Contributors

Hello.  We’re a bunch of hot action star chicks.  We can literally say anything right now and you’ll listen, especially if you’re a man, because a) we’re hot and b) we kick ass.  Checking us out allows you to live out your impotent male fantasies of a) being a tough guy and b) getting to hang out with hot chicks.

Since we no doubt have your rapt attention, due to the fact that we’re a bunch of hot action star chicks and you’re a man, we feel the need to take advantage of this opportunity to inform you of the following important issues, which you will totally listen to, because as previously mentioned, we’re a bunch of hot action star chicks, and you’re a drooling man:

1)  Global warming is a dangerous issue and requires more attention from our world leaders.  But action begins at home.  Are you recycling?  Are you shutting off your lights and other electronic appliances when they’re not in use?  Are your making sure to not run the faucet?  Think of all the water that can be saved if you’d just shut the faucet off while you’re brushing your teeth instead of allowing it to run until your done.  A little common sense can go a long way to help Mother Earth.

2)  As a society, we must do more to help our fellow man.  We all talk a big game but honestly, talk is cheap and doing something about it is better.  Contact your local civic organizations today as there are likely many volunteer opportunities that will allow you to give back to your community.  Remember, when you take a shift at your neighborhood soup kitchen, you’re not just passing out a hot bowl of minestrone, you’re also dishing out hope.

3)  Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life is going to drop on this blog like a hot potato on May 15.   Mark your calendars and clear your schedules, because you know you’re going to want to read it.

In conclusion, we, a bunch of hot action star chicks, would like to thank you for taking the time to read to read BQB’s blog.

Sincerely,

A Bunch of Hot Action Star Chicks

Bunch of hot action star chicks photo courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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Game of Yetis – Part 7 – House Yeti

PREVIOUSLY ON GAME OF YETIS – Lord Alien of House Jones crosses the Narrow Sea after the Khaleesi tweets him a question about how to train dragons.

(By the way, did you know Alien Jones loves to promote Indie Self Publishers?  Read all about it in his latest “Ask the Alien” column.)

AND NOW GAME OF YETIS CONTINUES…

Lord Yeti and his banner yetis crossed the icy tundra to meet the white walkers on the field of battle.  Prior to engaging in sword play, the leaders of both parties decided to hold the following parlay:

LORD YETI:  Roar?

WHITE WALKER:  Errrghhh!

LORD YETI: Roar roar!

WHITE WALKER:  Ergh. Errgh?

LORD YETI: Roar! Roar. Roar.

WHITE WALKER:  Ergh.  Ergh?

LORD YETI:  Roar?

Sorry, here’s the English translation:

LORD YETI:  Why do you white walkers approach Yetifell as though you are prepared for war?

WHITE WALKER:  We wish to breach The Wall and march to Shelftopia so that we may steal all of Lord BQB’s Dew of the Mountain!

LORD YETI:  We’ve already stolen it!  It’s in my castle as we speak!

WHITE WALKER:  Oh.  Can we have some?

LORD YETI:  Of course.  Any enemy of Lord BQB is a friend of mine.  However, Lord BQB no doubt marches for Yetifell, so you must help us protect my castle from his attack.

WHITE WALKER:  Agreed.  Can we watch Scandal while we wait?

LORD YETI:  Why wouldn’t we?

I know.  It's a bear.  It was the only large dumb furry animal the HBO GOT sigil creator had.  The Yeti has complained vigorously.

I know. It’s a bear. It was the only large dumb furry animal the HBO GOT sigil creator had. The Yeti has complained vigorously.

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Avengers this Friday

Yeah.  I’ve got nothing today.  Too busy planning out “The Summer of Bookshelf.”

But to comply with the one post a day challenge rules, here’s Iron Man on my shelf again:

Tony Stark you lazy bastard.

Tony Stark you lazy bastard.

I hate to cast Jon Snow and Ned Stark aside, but I think I’ll just leave Iron Man as the blog header at least for this week.

Who’s ready for the Avengers 2?

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