This is a great picture that Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) tweeted, isn’t it, 3.5 readers?
Jeeze Carrie, tell us how you really feel about Jabba.
https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/674739723093454848/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Bookshelf Battle
The only site where new bestsellers are forced to do battle for space on a nerd's bookshelf.
Tag Archives: star wars
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Prediction
Game of Thrones has introduced us to the possibility that despite our hatred of one side or the other, it is possible to come to a realization of how that side came to be.
Case in point. Jaime Lannister. He’s smarmy. Arrogant. But he did kill the original king. It earned him mockery in the form of the “Kingslayer” nickname, though no one cared enough to not participate in the subsequent takeover of the kingdom. He saved the day, but the people he saved it for hate him. Its tough not to be jaded.
So my hunch is things will become less clear than light vs. dark sides of the Force. Each side will have their own reasoning for fighting. Naturally, we get behind Han and Chewie et. al, but we’ll get why the bad guys do what they do, how they were driven to it.
And while I’d be very surprised if JJ Abrams breaks our hearts and turns Luke Skywalker into a villain, a climate in which audiences seek out motivations as to why villains do what they do does make a Skywalker villain more possible than ever.
I hope it doesn’t happen. I’d be very surprised.
Also, it is entirely possible this film will be just three hours of Jar Jar Binks reading a dictionary.
Pop Culture Mysteries – Open Contracts
By: Jake Dashing, Official Bookshelf Battle Blog Private Investigator
Pop culture. It’s a world that keeps Bookshelf Q. Battler up late at night, his spacious brain filling up with one question after another about movies, music, television, books, and more.
I’m not sure I can relate. When I lose sleep, its because I’m too busy picturing all the Nazis my country demanded that I punch to death with my bare hands. I suppose each generation has its priorities.
Battler’s got info I want and he’s not forking it over until I solve a whole mess of mysteries for him. But this whack job thinks of questions faster than I can answer them, so here are the mysteries currently up for grabs.
Being a private dick is a fate I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but if you want to try your luck at the sleuthing game, feel free to let Battler know you want to snatch one of these up:
MOVIES
In Star Wars, if the Death Star is supposed to be the size of an actual star, why is everyone able to walk around it and fly around it so quickly?
In Pulp Fiction, Harvey Keitel’s character, “the Wolf” is billed as a highly skilled fixer, one whose knowledge regarding the art of the cover up is so valuable that he simply erase all evidence of a crime, making it as if nothing ever happened….but then all he does is show up and tell Vince and Jules to spray the car down with Windex. (Seriously, watch the movie.) Was the Wolf that special?
TELEVISION
Did Tony Soprano live or die at the end of The Sopranos? Was this a good or bad ending?
Why did the ending of Dexter both suck and blow at the same time? Or did it?
On Gilligan’s Island, Gilligan and the gang go on, as the theme song says, “a three hour tour.” How then, was it possible for everyone to become so irretrievably lost when they only strayed a mere three hours away from charted land?
On Married with Children, the running joke was that Al Bundy was disgusted by the idea of getting it on with his wife, Peggy. Peggy wasn’t that bad looking though, even with her wacky beehive and leopard print attire. What gives?
On Sons of Anarchy, Jax Teller embraces a life of crime that provides very little return on investment. Why is it that a scruffy bum who was lucky enough to win the heart of super hot doctor Tara didn’t just sit back and say, “Well, I’m going to sponge off my hot surgeon wife now, who no doubt makes a high salary because she’s a damn surgeon. Hell, maybe I’ll even put my focus on turning the auto repair garage my father left into a profitable business.” But instead, he just keeps making lousy criminal deals and then bumbles his way through them, often losing money on them and inviting a world of hurt. Seriously, WTF?
MUSIC
Who put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp and will this individual strike again?
Who let the dogs out?
What is a “hollaback girl” and why does Gwen Stefani go to great lengths to make sure you know she isn’t one?
To be sure, Sir Mix-a-Lot likes big butts and is unable to lie about this particular subject. Why then, do the other brothers deny this truth?
VIDEO GAMES
What’s up with the hard sell? Whenever you buy one they try to make you buy insurance, upgrades, and basically treat you like you’re trying to buy a fully loaded 2016 Toyota Tundra instead of a $60 fantasy experience. What gives?
COME UP WITH YOUR OWN
That’s all Battler’s got for now but rest assured that loser will keep ’em coming. That nerd has way too much time on his hands. And if you’re a nerd with too much time on your hands, feel free to come up with a pop culture mystery of your own and raise it up the flag pole to see if Battler salutes.
For those of you who can’t translate hardboiled noir talk, that means tell him about it in the comments.
Losers Seeking Redemption
I’ve conducted an analysis of every story idea I’ve ever had and there’s one key theme:
Losers seeking redemption.
3.5 READERS: But BQB, every story is about a loser seeking redemption.
Not really. It depends on how low of a loser we’re talking about. Mine are pretty low.
Luke Skywalker may have been a poor farm boy, but he could have told Obi Wan to stick his light saber where the sun don’t shine and taken over his Aunt and Uncle’s farm, rejecting the Jedi life altogether had he wanted to. He could have lived a comfortable life. He didn’t do anything wrong or dumb or stupid that he needed to make up for in order to feel like his life had meaning.
Rick Grimes isn’t a loser. He’s just a dude driven to extremes by a harsh new world. But he didn’t do anything he needed to make up for. Sure, his wife and friend got it on but that was after they thought he was dead (for five minutes) and if anything that reflects badly on them not him.
So most stories are about characters facing difficult decisions but they aren’t starting out as losers. All of my heroes start out as losers and the objective seems to be a way for them to not be losers anymore.
Hate to say it, but I’m a loser seeking redemption.
Are you a loser seeking redemption? I wish you the best of luck on your path, loser.
The Writer’s Battle – Are Readers In Control?
Happy Sunday, 3.5 readers.
Bookshelf Q. Battler here.
I just read this CNN article in which George Lucas says he’s “done with Star Wars.”
“You go to make a movie and all you do is get criticized,” Lucas told Vanity Fair. “People try to make decisions about what you’re going to do before you do it. It’s not much fun. You can’t experiment. You have to do it a certain way.” – CNN
ON THE ONE HAND – I see his point. The great part of the Internet is that nerdy fans can comment and discuss their favorite movies, TV shows, books etc.
The downside is that its a great environment to make a lot of back seat drivers. “No! Those two characters can’t fall in love and WHAT?! You’re going to kill off so and so and WHAT that guy changed his mind and he’s no longer a bad guy now?!”
Hollywood listens to all this mumbo jumbo. Sometimes that turns out well when the fans know what they are talking about. Other times it falls flat when a director or actor or someone puts the kibosh on an idea that’s a little out there, beyond the norm, that would have paid off big time but they didn’t want to draw the fans’ ire.
Probably the most recent example I can think of is the latest Avengers movie in which Black Widow kicked ass all throughout the film and fans were like “Joss Whedon’s anti-woman! He didn’t give her enough to do!” Boo. Bad nerds.
ON THE OTHER HAND – The CNN article linked to above went on to say:
“The issue was ultimately, they looked at the stories, and they said, ‘We want to make something for the fans,’ ” Lucas said, presumably referring to Disney, which purchased Lucasfilm — including the “Star Wars” franchise — in 2012. “People don’t actually realize it’s actually a soap opera, and it’s all about family problems; it’s not about spaceships. So they decided they didn’t want to use those stories. They decided they were going to do their own thing, so I decided, ‘fine. … I’ll go my way, and I let them go their way.’ ” – CNN
Pbbbhhht. Well, true – Star Wars does have a lot to do with that damn dysfunctional Skywalker family…BUT, did we really need that Sound of Music-ish scene in Attack of the Clones where Anakin and Queen Amidala prance around in love in the field? No. More lightsabers and space ships please.
Revenge of the Sith was pretty solid, and when I was younger, I enjoyed The Phantom Menace and Clones mostly because I was just happy to see Jedis back on the screen.
But let’s be honest, those films were more about loading up on as many quirky, merchandisable characters as possible just to sell kids toys.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Bills need to be paid and that’s what these new films will do as well BUT I have a hunch that it will be done in a way that fans will be like “that was badass!” and “wow what a badass toy!”
The nerdy adults will be anyway. If your kids are yelling “badass!” they probably need a time out.
I get Lucas’ frustration though. It must suck to create this wonderful universe, bring it to the big screen, become the modern day father of science fiction and then be told by your fans that you, the creator of your own universe, are doing a bad job of running your universe.
That’s probably how Darth Vader felt when those pesky rebels started calling for rebellion.
SIDENOTE: One other example of fans taking over that I’ve seen lately comes from The Walking Dead.
SPOILER ALERT – REPEAT: SPOILER ALERT
Did you notice there’s a spoiler alert in effect? OK don’t say you weren’t warned.
Glenn may or may not be dead. The writers of the show have made it look like he totally is, but also left it open to a possible interpretation that he might not be.
Fans have been up in arms on social media, complaining that they have to wait to find out, how dare the writers toy with their emotions like this and so on.
I’m going to channel my inner Uncle Hardass and say, “get a job, hippies!” Hell, I love that show as much as the next guy. I’ve invested a lot of time into it. But when it appeared that Glenn died my reaction was “Awww, that’s too bad…*pause for 5 seconds* OK I better brush my teeth and get ready for bed.”
Seriously, who has time to worry about the fate of a fictional character? JOBLESS HIPPIES WHO NEED A JOB AT THE SALT MINES, THAT’S WHO!!!
Wow. I’m becoming an Uncle H. clone
What say you, 3.5 readers? Who calls the shots, readers or writers?
Personally, it’d be a great problem to have. I only have 3.5 readers and none of them have started calling the shots yet.
I suppose when I reach the point where people are like “We want more Yeti!” or “Alien Jones is like a hairless ALF, you hack!” then I’ll know I’ve made it.
Get bossier, 3.5 readers. Actually, please don’t.
Random Thoughts
- Is it me, or does WordPress change things around every five seconds? I feel like no two visits to my dashboard are ever the same. File under: nerd problems.
- If you haven’t checked out Undesiredverse: Wanted yet, please do. Give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Tell me if it stinks. Tell me if you like it. Tell me if you think there are dishwasher instruction manuals that could get more sales. I’d love your input, especially the negative kind to help it improve.
- Did I mention you can read it on bookshelfbattle.com or on Wattpad? If you’re on Wattpad, you might find that to be the better experience as all the Chapters are right there whereas they tend to get bumped down on this blog.
- Call of Duty. Halo 5. Fallout 4. Star Wars: Battlefront. I don’t think I’ll see Video Game Rack Fighter again until March:
Video Game Rack Fighter
- I was sorry to hear about Charlie Sheen. There are probably 10,000 jokes that could be made about how this is not surprising but Attorney Donnelly advises me that AIDS jokes have been unacceptable since 1990.
- Alien Jones is still available for Ask the Alien. Come to think of it, he might have one or two questions rolling around to get to. Feel free to ask him yours and if he approves he’ll plug your book/blog.
- Why do people eat pudding? It has all the calories but none of the awesomeness of other desserts. You might as well have had ice cream. Eating pudding for dessert instead of the ice cream in your fridge is like taking your cousin on a date when Charlize Theron really wanted to go with you.
- Sometimes I want to tape fallen leaves back onto trees. It seems like a waste and also a shame the trees are left naked.
- I just invented a time machine. I used it to travel to ten seconds ago to get myself to change the subject and hey look! A hippopotamus in a pink tutu!
- Do you think that because I went back in time and changed the above random musing, that there will be disastrous effects on the world? They say the smallest tinkering with the past can change the future in terrible ways. Still, I can’t help but think that my life would be better now if I go back in time and tell myself to stop picking my nose so much. It would have prevented my deviated septum, the various brain restorative surgeries, and also I might have gotten more chicks. Then again, I might not have met Video Game Rack Fighter. Oh well. I guess I’ll stay a nose picker.
BQB on the Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer (The Final Trailer)
Hey 3.5 readers.
Bookshelf Q. Battler here, still riding out the zombie apocalypse, but luckily I have Alien Jones’ space phone to stream stuff on, like the latest Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer:
My thoughts, in no particular order (and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong because many of these are predictions i.e. me just spitballing:
- So we have two new heroes, a young male and a young female lead. The girl I believe is some kind of junk scavenger and I’m guessing the structure she is searching through is that big crashed Star Destroyer from the previous trailer. I’m assuming it is, in fact, the Star Destroyer where Luke had his final battle with the Emperor in Return of the Jedi. Could be wrong but I thought I read somewhere that the girl find’s Luke’s lightsaber or something. (Again, I’m just throwing stuff out there, I really have no idea.) Meanwhile, the male lead is a stormtrooper and apparently something happens that makes him renounce his stormtroopery ways.
- We see/hear the female lead ask Han if the stories are true and he explains that yes, they are. Therefore, apparently much time has passed, the tales from the older films have become less real and more like legends to the people of the Star Wars universe, and assumably, Han, Luke, and Leia as old-timers will guide a new generation of heroes in taking on a new threat.
- That threat comes in the form of some bad masked dude who’s checking out Darth Vader’s crushed mask, pledging to finish what Vader started. Didn’t he get the memo that Vader recanted his evil ways while he was dying and finally ended up being a nice ghost who chilled with Ghost Obi Wan and Ghost Yoda at the end of Return of the Jedi?
- We see Leia – she looks sad, she appears to be hugging Han. I don’t know why she’s sad. Presumably because evil deeds or transpiring, or maybe she missed Han. Han said “Chewie, we’re home” in the other trailer, so assumably Han and Chewie went somewhere for a long time. Here’s hoping there will be some joke where Leia calls Han a scruffy nerf herder or something.
- I’m sad to hear about all the “Boycott Star Wars” nonsense, i.e. claims that the movie is “anti-white” but on the other hand, if you check out the hashtag, it’s mostly people complaining that the hashtag was ever created. Food for thought – I get people are mad and want to vent but sometimes where the Internet is concerned, ignoring a dumb idea makes it go away faster whereas talking about it helps it gain steam, which, yeah, why am I talking about it then?
- Ticket sales are breaking records as well as websites. People buying pre-sale tickets for a movie that’s 2 months away. I’ve never really cared about a movie before enough to buy tickets in advance but I might just for this one.
- So we see Han, and Leia, where’s Luke? We only see his hand in the first trailer. I mean, Mark Hammil hasn’t had it easy when it comes to aging (but then again who does?) He was in a car wreck when he was younger and he wasn’t the best looking dude starting out (Kids there was once a time when Hollywood allowed people who didn’t look completely like Gods and Goddesses to be the leads in films, I know, amazing!) so I wonder if that’s it – but he was in the The Kingsman earlier this year and he looked fine. I hope they’re not going to do some Hollywood thing and cover him up with a cloak or something for half the film. I dunno. That’s all pure speculation.
OK. My two cents over. Again, don’t quote me because I’m just talking out of my butt. I look forward to seeing this movie. What do you nerds think?
Star Wars #Bookshelfbattles!
Hello 3.5 readers,
Mei Mei of jedibyknight.com has come through with some exciting Star Wars inspired bookshelf battles:
Here’s one of my favorites:
People, the tiny characters who live on my shelves are real, but you can pretend to be a magic bookshelf caretaker just like me by assembling your toys on your shelves and tweeting the photos to @bookshelfbattle #bookshelfbattles
Let the bookshelf battles rage on!
By the way, did anyone get any Force Friday toys?
- Asked by someone other than me because you know, I’m an adult so I don’t care. Whatevs.
Bookshelf Battle Inspires #BookshelfBattles
The “Remembering Barbara Mertz” Blog, inspired by the never-ending wars waged on my magic bookshelf, shared a few pictures featuring “bookshelf battles” involving some of Barbara’s favorite characters.
Barbara was a prolific writer, whose pen names included Elizabeth Peters and Barbara Michaels.
For more info, check out Barbara’s wikipedia page.
If I have to pick my favorite, it’d be this one:
– Photo from the “Remembering Barbara Mertz Blog.”
Mighty Jabba visits Egypt. I like it. And that green pig guard guy (quick one of you Star Wars nerds tell me what those green pig guard guys are called!) looks like something heavy got dropped on him.
SPOILER ALERT – The “guy” with the brown breather mask at the top right is actually Princess Leia in disguise. Shh. Don’t tell anyone.
You can see the others through the link above. There are some “bookshelf battles” inspired by Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, more Star Wars, etc.
Personally, I’ve always been freaked out by Peter Jackson’s interpretation of Gollum. I left those movies thinking Gollum was going to attack me in my sleep and demand his precious. But maybe that’s a sign of Jackson’s special effects prowess.
You might remember awhile back, Liam Kozma, another one of my 3.5 readers, tweeted this picture of the North and South battling over the Mason Dixon Line on his bookshelf:
So 3.5 readers, let me ask you this…
Can this become a thing?
Assemble your favorite toys on your bookshelves and tweet them to #bookshelfbattles and they’ll get retweeted and posted here.
If you don’t have twitter, just put the link in the comments on one of my posts.
What’s that Attorney Donnelly? Oh right, obviously if your picture is naughty or salacious or something then yeah, it probably won’t meet this site’s stringent criteria etc etc.
Bookshelf Battle 