Tag Archives: writers

Have You Gotten Your Free Copy Yet?

Hey 3.5 readers.

Your old pal BQB here.

So, it was a semi-exciting day today.

Last night, I began a free promo for BQB’s Badass Writing Prompts.  That’s right, you can get your very own free copy by clicking here.  That’ll last till Monday, June 12, when it will go back up to $2.99, so…uh…how do marketers do this?  Act fast!  Get your free copy today!  My prices are insane!  I’m Crazy BQB and all my books are priced so low they ought to lock me up in the funny farm!

But I digress.  Like a proud papa with a new baby, I checked on the status of my book all day today and was delighted to see that the free promo was helping it move up the charts:

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#33 in Kindle Store – Kindle E books – Reference – Writing, Research and Publishing Guides – Writing Skills?  Huh, sounds awesome. (Note that apparently means it is in the top 100 of the free part of this section.  At least that’s what I think it means.  I am still new to all of this.)

#9,637 in Free Kindle Store?  Huh, well, there’s still 9,636 peeps ahead of me but ok, that sounds pretty awesome too.

So, being a total novice at this I thought, “Hmm…I mean, I’m not in this game to give stuff away for free and make no money but these rankings sound so awesome that I must have given away like thousands of copies.  Think of it as a down payment.  Give out lots of free books today and readers will turn into fans who will pay for your stuff tomorrow.”

But then I checked out my figures.  15 free copies.  15.  And seriously, I love all 15 of you but I really thought I’d of given away like thousands of copies.

At any rate, I’m not sure how these rankings are figured but my book has been moving up in the ranks all day so however it is done, I’m just going to say thank you to Amazon and Lord Bezos, Supreme Commander of the Internet and All Digital Media He Surveys Until He Conquers the Globe…OR HAS HE ALREADY AND LEFT US NONE THE WISER?  MUAH HA HA!

But seriously.  I know.  15 copies is nothing to sneeze at.  It’s still early.  And the one thing I have always noticed about online media is it is one of few activities I have participated in where the results get better every year.

Long story short, I hope you’ll take advantage of this free promo.  I’m not asking you 3.5 readers to do much.  Just download a free copy.  If you like it, give it a fab review.  If you have any thoughts you’d like to share, let me know.

AND – do keep in mind it is a book filled with writing prompts, so if you’re a blogger and you’re looking for ideas to blog about, here’s your chance to get some inspiration.

Thank you, 3.5 readers.

Bookshelf Q battlers for Amazon

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BQB’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts – Free June 8 – June 12

That’s right, 3.5 readers.  You can save all 3.5 of your dollars, for my debut book, Bookshelf Q. Battler’s Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts is going to be free starting today, Thursday, June 8 all the way through Monday, June 12.

Save your money, or spend it on comic books, candy and whoopie cushions.  All I want is for all 3.5 of you to mosey on over to Amazon, download my book for free and if you like it, perhaps you’d be so kind as to leave a nice review.

If you don’t like it, did you know the Internet is full of cat videos?

Better yet, this book contains 101 Badass Writing Prompts plus a number of bonus sections.  If you’re stuck for your next topic to blog about, why not write a short story based on one of these fine prompts and share it with your 3.5 readers?

FREE people!  Absolutely free!  I’m Crazy BQB and my prices are so low I’m practically giving these e-books away!

Don’t forget I’m enrolled in Amazon KDP so if you have access to the Kindle lending library, then you’ll be able to get this fabulous book for free long after this promotion ends but seriously, why wait?  I’d tell you no one likes a procrastinator, but I’m just going to put that off and tell you tomorrow instead.

Bookshelf Q battlers for Amazon

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My Amazon Author Page

Behold, 3.5 readers:

BQB’s Amazon Author Page

By the way nerds, if you have access to the Kindle Lending Library you can read this for free.

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I’m Worried About My Sales

3.5 readers, BQB here.

I don’t mean to alarm you, but as we draw near to the end of the first day of my first book being available for purchase on Amazon, I’m growing increasingly concerned about my sales figures, which, as you can see by this handy chart, are non-existent:

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Fellow self-publishers, let’s have a rap session as they used to say in the 1970s.  What suggestions do you have for me, a first time self-publisher, to get my sales skyrocketing?

I mean, I know I’m supposed to manage my expectations, but I really thought I’d be in a Malibu beach house in a hot tub full of supermodels by now and yet I can barely afford a cold shower and a nudey magazine.

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My Book is Live!

Huzzah, 3.5 readers!

After all this time, my very first e-book is up on Amazon and available for purchase for the low, low price of $2.99.  How exciting.

Have you ever been the first person to do something?  No?  Well now is your chance to be one of the first people to buy this incredible book.  Go on.  Be one of the first people to download this bad boy and feel like Neil Armstrong must have felt when he walked on the moon for the first time.

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I’m Very Excited 3.5 Readers

I’ve done some of the preliminary Amazon stuff.  BQB’s Writing Prompts should be up and to the masses soon.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to buy a nice mozzarella stick appetizer at Applebee’s with the sales.  I know, I like to dream big.

Bookshelf Q battlers for Amazon

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BQB’s Writing Prompts Book Coming Soon

Hey 3.5 readers.

BQB here.

Keeping my fingers crossed, hoping my first book will be self-published on Amazon at some point this week.

Hope you will check it out.  I need all 3.5 of you to read it.  Thanks.

Bookshelf Q battlers for Amazon

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Writing Choices – Fight Club and Characters with Multiple Personalities

The first rule of this discussion is don’t complain about spoilers.  The second rule of this discussion is don’t explain about spoilers.

Seriously, you’ve had 18 years to watch this movie.  If a movie has existed the exact amount of time it takes to bring a baby to adulthood then please, spare me your spoiler complaints.

Fight Club.  It’s a great film that has gotten better with age if you ask me.  Generation X has sort of become a lost generation.  The Baby Boomers are apparently going to stick around forever and the Millenials are leap frogging over the X’ers because they’ve all had access to some pretty sweet technology since they were babies.

Us?  We’re stuck in the middle, and that was the sense of ennui that this film was trying to portray.

If you don’t want to read about the main spoiler, then look ok.  Last chance. OK.  Here it goes:

Ed Norton’s nameless character and his new friend, the one that comes into his life, turns it upside down, urges him to start a fight club and fill it with dangerous domestic terrorist anarchists…are the same person!

I know, right?  #mindblown

Sometimes it is possible for a character to be more than one person at the same time.  Usually, this happens when a character has a split personality.  There may be other times, for example:

  • A character assuming a false identity to spy on or trick people will require the audience to keep up with which characters in the film believe the character to be Person #1 and who think he is Person #2.
  • Maybe the character is possessed by a demon or some kind of magic is involved to put two souls into one body.

Multiple personalities seems to be where this issue comes up the most and from a writing standpoint, it is a bear.

Personally, I believe it’s easier done in movie form.  When you watch Fight Club, you are taken through a series of twists and turns as it is slowly revealed that Tyler (Brad Pitt) is more than just a smooth, fast talker but in fact, he has a lot of bad things planned and the naive Ed Norton figures things out way too late.

Then, it all comes down to the ultimate reveal when Ed realizes he was Tyler all along.  Immediately, the audience starts going through all the interactions that Ed and Tyler had together and those will need to be sewn up.  Video footage, for example, shows Ed yelling at no one where cut scenes show him yelling at his imaginary friend, Tyler.

I’ve tried to write characters with false identities – people who go to one place where the people think he is A and another place where people think he is B.  It’s exhausting.  I’m not sure I’m even a good enough writer to pull that trick off yet but hopefully one day.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:  Discuss your favorite Fight Club moments, or talk about another movie or book where there was a character who was, for whatever reason, more than one person.  What challenges will a writer face while trying to pull this off?

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Toilet Gator – Chapter 88

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Sharon was unable to process the information she’d just received from Natalie. “The entire joint task force…dead?”

“It just came in over the wire while we were on the way here,” Natalie said. “President Stugotz is mobilizing the National Guard and declaring a state of martial law in South Florida.”

“Mother of God,” Sharon said. “If a SWAT team wasn’t able to take this alligator down then I have no idea who can.”

Rusty raised his hand. “I do…but I don’t have a right to ask.”

Everyone around the table looked to Rusty as though he was about to utter the most important words anyone would ever say ever. Rusty pointed to Cole.

“Me?” Cole asked.

“I have no right,” Rusty said. “I failed you and left you on your own against that dog ten years ago. But you faced down Old Mongo, cheated death, and lived to tell the tale. Since then, you’ve hunted lions, tigers and bears…”

“Oh my,” Maude interjected. Seeing that no one was amused she added, “What? Too soon?”

Cole sighed. “It’s funny. I’ve been thinking lately it might be time to hang up my hunting gear. People don’t seem to have the same amount of respect for big game hunters that they used to. They feel like it’s too macho, cruel, uncivilized…”

Moses scoffed. “Liberal whack jobs who want to crawl up Hillary Clinton’s…”

“Yeah, I know Moses,” Cole said. “You think everyone who disagrees with you must be a liberal whack job who wants to crawl inside Hillary Clinton’s vagina but either way, I’ve been thinking that hunting has run its course through me. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never be able to change what happened that day and I could kill a thousand big beasties but that will never bring my leg or my pride back.”

Professor Lambert intervened. “You lost your leg?”

“To a big ass dog,” Rusty said. “While saving a little girl’s life. He’s the best hero I’ll ever know.”

“Then, my good man, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you are the most qualified person I can think of to go up against an alligator of this magnitude,” Professor Lambert said.

Sharon frowned. She reached across the table and grabbed Cole’s hand. The move stunned Cole. He had so longed for the feeling of his ex-wife’s hand in his and now it was happening again.

“Cole,” Sharon said. “Haven’t you done enough already?”

“I hate to admit it but Rusty is right,” Cole said. “I’m the only one around I can think of with police training who doesn’t lose his cool when a big animal with sharp teeth is looking at him like he’d make a good meal.”

The room went silent. “One last trophy,” Cole said. “And then I’m out of the hunting game for good.”

The ex-chief stood up and took command of the room. “Maude.”

“Cole you need to try some of this,” Maude said as she held up her joint. “It’s like Woodstock all over again baby!”

“Focus Maude,” Cole said. “You still talk to Arthur’s old trucking buddies?”

“On occasion,” Maude replied.

“Good,” Cole said. “Think they could muster us up a couple of big rigs, no questions asked?”

“I’ll have to turn on the old charm,” Maude said just before emitting a loud burp. “Excuse me.”

“Good,” Cole said. “Moses.”

“Sir, yes sir,” Moses said.

“You got any firepower?” Cole asked.

“I’m the owner and operator of Freedom Firepower, aren’t I?” Moses asked.

Cole winked at Moses. “Yeah, but I’m talking about…firepower.”

“Oh,” Moses said. “Yeah, I might have one or two or a dozen pieces that are strictly um…kosher.”

“Sharon,” Cole said.

“Yes?” Sharon asked.

“You still drive like Mario Andretti?” Cole asked.

“I don’t get as many tickets these days,” Sharon said. “But yes. I can put the hammer down.”

“What about me, Cole?” Rusty asked. “I’m not going to screw you over again, that’s for damn sure.”
“You’re going to protect what’s most valuable to me,” Cole said.

Rusty looked bewildered until he noticed that Cole’s hands were resting on Sharon’s shoulders.

“Aw,” Rusty said. “Son of a…”

Maude coughed loudly into her fist. “Cough cough, pussy! Cough, cough. Pardon me. This is some good shit.”

“Have you still got those breakaway pants?” Cole asked.

“Probably somewhere in the back of my closet,” Rusty said. “Why?”

“Just get them,” Cole said before turning to the scholar in the room. “Professor, we’ll need your brain of course.”

“You have it,” the Professor said.

“Hot Ass Blonde Chick with Big Titties?” Cole asked.

“Um, I prefer to go by Natalie off camera.”

“Sorry,” Cole said. “Natalie, can you get me on air?”

“I can swing that,” Natalie said as she turned to the Professor. “And Professor Lambert, I am so sorry I ever doubted you. I’d like to get you on air as well.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Madame,” Professor Lambert said. “When I contacted you earlier, it was not about obtaining fame and fortune for myself but rather out of a need to warn the public of a very significant danger. Now that the public is aware, I don’t know if I…”

“I can probably get NN1 to pay you a scientific analyst fee,” Natalie said.

“Who am I to deny my knowledge to the world?” the Professor asked.

“It’s settled,” Cole said. “The Professor and I will go with Natalie. Moses, I’m going to need to check out your hardware later.”

“You got it,” Moses said.

“The rest of you reconvene at my place,” Cole said. “We’ve got to draw up a plan to take this gator down.”

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Sixteen Weeks of Toilet Gator Sundays

Sixteen weeks.  Wow.  Time goes by so quickly.

I suppose “Toilet Gator Sundays” is a misnomer at this point.  At first, I pledged that I would only work on Toilet Gator on Sundays in order to give me enough time to finish Zom Fu.

At some point, I began cracking myself up that I just keep speeding through Toilet Gator.  Zom Fu is mostly done.  It just needs an ending.

My plan at this point is to finish the Toilet Gator first draft, then finish the Zom Fu first draft.  Then rewrite both books, get them off to an editor.  I’d like to say they will both be out by the end of this year but if it goes into next year, then so be it.

I have come to accept that writing is a long game.  I don’t like it, but I accept it.

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