Slate Article – Parents Punishing Kids by Shaming them on Social Media

Yeesh.  Since we’re all techno nerds around here, I, from time to time post articles about technology and I came across this one by Amanda Hess of Slate.

Hess starts with the case of Izabel Laxamana, a girl who sent a selfie to a boy from school.  Her father’s punishment was to cut off Izabel’s hair and took a video asking her if it was worth it.

According to the article, the video made the rounds on social media, the school got involved. Izabel later jumped off a bridge.  (It isn’t totally clear this made her do that but it couldn’t have helped either)

Yikes.  And I thought Uncle Hardass was tough.

Hess goes on to talk about public shaming being an ancient thing.  Schools no longer make kids wear “dunce caps” and teachers don’t beat kids with “the rod” anymore.

For a long time, parents would dole out whatever punishment they deemed necessary, but they’d do it within the confines of their home.

Now, as Hess explains, there seems to be a new trend for parents to punish their kids via online humiliation, taking an embarrassing video – maybe making the kid confess or in one case Hess discusses, a father made his son dance around in skinny jeans and posted a video online (apparently Dad wasn’t a fan of the skinny jeans).

Sigh.  It seems no matter what the technology is, there will always be people who abuse it.

I’m not saying let kids get away with everything but holy crap, whatever happened to a good lecture and some grounding?

Things put on the Internet last forever…FOREVER.  Sure, maybe you’re a dumb parent and you think you’re helping your kid by shaming them out of bad behavior by posting an online video.

But keep in mind that video follows the kid everywhere.  His/Her friends will eventually see it.  Shit, ten years later a potential employer might find it through a Google search, decide not to hire your adult kid and he/she is now stuck living on your couch forever.

Maybe the millennials have it worse than we thought.  Every day their dumb parents are posting pictures and videos of them online that will definitely keep many of them out of a presidential bid.

Shit.  Right now there could be a kid who could have grown up to become the president that solves all our problems and unites us all but it’ll never happen because I don’t know, his dumb parents posted a picture of him picking his nose or whatever.

Anyway.  It’s just some food for thought.  Social media can be a great tool, giving voice to people who otherwise would have remained voiceless.

The downside is…there are a lot of people using it to do dumb things.

Parents…as mad as your kids will make you, and they surely will from time to time, “social media shaming” (holy crap there’s a term for it) is not the way to go.

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11 thoughts on “Slate Article – Parents Punishing Kids by Shaming them on Social Media

  1. that is indeed several brands of horrible, doing that. Ya gotta remember, who is the adult…

  2. MBBlissett says:

    It’s narcissism.
    It’s not even about dealing with the issue, it is about being ‘seen’ and getting approval for being seen to deal with the issue. Your children deserve your attention, your affirmation and your affection. Admonition should be done privately. We had The Dark Ages, now we have the overlit ages where people cannot even interact with their own children without soliciting for an audience. Still, someone should point out that those kids will be picking the nursing home they go into someday.

  3. When parents shame their kids in this way, not only are they making future life difficult for their kids, as these images will be around forever to haunt them, but they are also embarrassing themselves and their ability to control things within their family.

  4. shaking head. When I seek to “punish” my child. It’s never about actually punishing him, it’s about me learning what thought process led to his bad decision and how I can help him rewire his brain to make better decisions because that will determine his life. The decisions he makes. At my least effective I send him to his room, which I know is totally counter productive but gives me some space to calm down and think about how to handle something. I feel like parent of the year compared to these examples.

  5. Whether you’re the child’s parent or not, that’s bullying. And as a parent, it’s your job to model good behavior. This not only humiliates the child, but it keeps the child from ever learning how to solve problems in a productive way.

  6. TeacupFerret says:

    At that point, it really is just bullying and making your child feel embarrassed and helpless, not teaching them WHY what they did was wrong (not that sending a boy a selfie is necessarily wrong). Some parents get this idea that ‘since I’m the adult, I’m always right, and I can do with this kid’s life whatever I want.’ Don’t have kids if you’re gonna get drunk with power, people.

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