3.5 readers, there was once a time when you had to lug a fat ass jug of liquid washing machine soap from the store to your home and then dump a quantity of that jug into your machine whenever you wanted to wash your clothes…LIKE A GODDAMN CAVEMAN!
But then, thanks to SCIENCE, Tide pods were invented. They’re little plastic doo-dads filled with just enough soap for a load of laundry. While you were expected to measure out the soap you were pouring, literally no one, and I mean NO ONE ever did that, so you’d either dump too little soap or a shit ton of soap but these pods let you throw in just enough.
But now, their are big dumb dummies who are eating them Stop eating Tide pods, dummies.
From BQB HQ in Fabulous East Randomtown, it’s the Top Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Eat Tide Pods:
#1 – They are poisonous.
#2-10 – They are poisonous.
BONUS REASON TO NOT EAT TIDE PODS: YOU WILL DIE!
Don’t eat Tide pods, 3.5 readers.
Bookshelf Battle 
Reason 1 checks out. I’m a little shaky on the rest.
I just know these dummies are going to eventually make the government ban tide pods and then I have to go back to pouring liquid into my machine like a caveman again.
who???
reminds me of how I read that actually we’re a much safer society than in 50s, but the way we get our news makes everything seem super imperative & right in our back yard…
love them little pillowy things I toss into dishwasher!
Probably some truth to that
Oh, good. 🙂 I read your title and thought exactly where the article went.
(Wrong use of “there,” by the way) 😉
I ate a tide pod and it scrambled the grammar side of my brain.
Which scent?
vanilla boysenberry