Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Movie Review – Foxcatcher (2014)

Steve Carrell.  Channing Tatum.  Mark Ruffalo.

And so many scantily clad dudes rolling around on the floor that I swear I caught Aunt Gertie staring at the screen just a little too longingly.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here after FINALLY having had the chance to catch last year’s Foxcatcher.

I’m loathe to use the word “SPOILERS” for a film about a horrific crime that’s nearly 20 years old but honestly, while I’d generally heard about the case, I didn’t know the specifics until I began reading about the film.  If you’d like to find out on your own as you watch, you might want to rent it first and then read this review later.

Movieclips Trailers – Foxcatcher – Sony Pictures

Wealth.  For some it’s a blessing.  For others it’s a curse.

Throughout history, there have been people who have been born into great circumstances, their lives preordained before they even opened their eyes and took a look at the world for the first time.

Some individuals take the vast resources at their disposal and do their families proud, achieving new levels of greatness.

Others party hearty and are destined to become paparazzi fodder.

In the middle, there are folks who enjoy their riches, coast along and somehow manage to make jackasses of themselves.

Then there’s John du Pont.  Heir to a massive chemical company fortune, he’s an odd duck to say the least.  He’s socially awkward, almost painfully so.  It’s like he knows what he wants to say but has a hard time expressing himself, assumably because he’s lived such a sheltered life.

The majority of the film takes place in the late 1980’s, when du Pont is in his late fifties.  He lives on a sprawling estate which he dubs Foxcatcher Farm, fox hunting having been a popular activity for well-to-do visitors to the grounds.

The movie makes it clear – du Pont believes himself to be a great man and he wants the rest of the world to agree.  He doesn’t really want to do anything to achieve that goal.  He just wants to spend large sums of money and purchase the acclaim he believes he deserves.

At the heart of his need for glory?  A rivalry with his mother Jean (played by one of the few remaining Old Hollywood stars Vanessa Redgrave) leaves him with a burning desire to prove his worth to her.

One gets the impression that the rivalry is one sided.  Jean trains show horses on the estate and proudly displays her trophies in the family mansion.  du Pont envies the horses and wants his mother’s attention.  Despite being almost 60 years old, he’s like a little kid yearning for Mommy’s approval.

Meanwhile, brothers David (Mark Ruffalo) and Mark (Channing Tatum) Schultz have each won an Olympic gold medal for wrestling.  Keep in mind we’re talking about real wrestling, the kind that involves knowledge of various moves and techniques, and not the scripted garbage on Monday night.

From the film, it’s clear the brothers have a deep love and admiration of one another, but while David has found happiness with a loving wife and family, Mark is alone, living on ramen noodles in a tiny house and at the start of the film, earning a twenty dollar gratuity for speaking at an elementary school (it’s made obvious that Mark needs that twenty bucks).

Mark feels that even though he’s earned his notoriety, anything he does is overshadowed by his brother.  If he has success, the public attributes it to David’s mentorship of Mark and not Mark himself.  Mark wants to accomplish something on his own, and to make matters worse, he needs money.

Enter du Pont with a miraculous offer for the Schultz brothers.  du Pont wants them to come to his estate, select a wrestling team, train themselves to compete in the upcoming 1988 Olympic Games in Seoul and train their team mates while they’re at it. He’ll pay them and give them houses on his property to live in for free.

David, not wanting to uproot his family, isn’t interested.  Mark, seeing a chance to break out of his brother’s shadow, takes the deal.

And for awhile he excels at Foxcatcher.

But alas, it is an understatement to say that du Pont is weird.

He insists that people refer to him as “America’s Golden Eagle.”  He orchestrates a large awards ceremony for himself, and in a sad commentary about society, it’s well-attended by the rich and the powerful.  He wants to be a wrestler too and organizes a senior citizen wrestling competition, only to pay off his geriatric competitor to take a dive.

That’s not all.  du Pont purchases a tank with the ease that one might order a book from Amazon.  When it arrives, he throws a fit that it doesn’t include a 50-caliber machine gun as promised and refuses to sign for the shipment.

He snorts cocaine with reckless abandon, takes his helicopter everywhere, and its not-so-subtly implied that his generosity towards the sport of wrestling might have been a front to allow him to roll around with young sweaty men.

Throughout his Pennsylvania community, du Pont is known as a gracious benefactor, a man who doles out the cash just so he can be a part of everything.  The local police department practice on his shooting range and he shoots guns alongside them.

Poor and crazy?  You’re crazy.  Rich and crazy?  You’re eccentric.  Not to fault the movie, but if you perform a web search on du Pont, you’ll come up with an endless supply of allegations, many of which weren’t portrayed in the film.  That’s not a knock on the film at all.  It’s just that the man was so nuts that there just wasn’t enough time to capture it all on screen:

Some of the allegations I was able to find on the web that weren’t featured in the film:

  • That du Pont put razor wire in the walls of his house because he thought it was haunted by ghosts
  • He crashed multiple cars into a pond on his property
  • He bought a look-alike police car and pulled over people who drove near his property.
  • Believed that Nazis and Russian spies were frequenting the property, often demanding that his employees search for them.
  • Kicked black wrestlers off the team claiming “the KKK runs this place”
  • That du Pont, after his mother’s death, sets her horse barn on fire with the horses inside.  The film only shows Carrell let the horses go.  Perhaps horses being burnt up is too graphic for the screen.

Again, there wasn’t just enough time in the movie, but the film more than manages to portray the fact that the man just was not right in the head.

Steve Carrell is no stranger to playing characters who aren’t exactly grounded in reality.  After all, he played the dimwitted bumbling boss Michael Scott on The Office for years.  But while Scott’s antics were relatively harmless, du Pont’s instability is (and as we see later) a disaster waiting to happen.

Barely recognizable under gray hair and a large prosthetic nose, Carrell earns his Oscar nomination as he plays du Pont, capturing his overall style of a hopelessly depressed ego-maniac slash elderly man child.

If I keep going, I’ll give too much of the film away.  It climaxes when du Pont, spurred on by his ongoing desire to achieve greatness (by letting others earn it for him) makes David an offer he can’t refuse to come be part of the Foxcatcher wrestling program.  Mark, who’s been sucked into du Pont’s unhealthy drugging lifestyle, feels betrayed by du Pont (at one point du Pont tells Mark he understands and supports his desire to win on his own), that he’s lost his chance to win without his brother’s help, not to mention he’s under intense pressure from du Pont to succeed.

Later, Ruffalo as David makes a face as if he’s losing his soul when a documentary film maker du Pont has hired to produce a glowing film about himself asks David to say du Pont is his mentor.  David is perhaps the most genuinely lovable character of the whole film, caring for his family, concerned for his brother’s well-being and at a crucial moment in the film, stands up to du Pont on Mark’s behalf.

SPOILER ALERT (Again, I hate using that term here but I have no idea what else to say.)

After losing in the 1988 Olympic games, Mark leaves the Foxcatcher program and the film ends with du Pont driving his car to David’s house.

Here’s the scary part.  I’ve known for years that du Pont shot David Schultz just because it was a well-known, highly reported on crime.  And I’ve been reading more about it since the movie came out.

Yet, even though I knew it was coming, I just wasn’t prepared for it and was startled anyway.  While David is standing in his driveway, du Pont pulls up, asks, “Do you have a problem with me?” then shoots David.

An employee riding with du Pont who had no idea what his boss was up to tries to stop him.  David’s wife comes out of the house and du Pont points his gun at her, sending her back in the house.

David struggles to crawl to safety but du Pont shoots him twice more in the back then drives back to his house to hole up.

The expressionless face, the clear lack of interest in the gravity of what he’s done…Carrell as du Pont arguably portrays a villain in that short moment that rivals Hannibal Lecter.

But while Lecter made it clear he wants to eat you, du Pont is one of those people who seems off, but no one realized just how off he was or what he was capable of until it was too late.

Accounts I’ve read online typically describe the situation in that du Pont was known throughout his community as being an oddball but his antics seemed harmless and people were happy to take advantage of the generous donations he offered, thus placating his bad behavior while failing to realize he was a ticking time bomb all along.

One can’t help but feel sorry for the Schultz brothers throughout the film.  Olympic wrestlers are in a tough position.  They’re paid no money to train and yet have to a) train all day in order to compete and b) still somehow find a source of income to pay their bills.

A benefactor swoops in and offers to pay them a salary and gives them houses on his estate to live in while they practice the sport they love?

Hell, be honest.  You’d ignore the tank too.

If you’re interested in reading more about the case, here are two articles I found helpful:

CNN – “Foxcatcher – The Crazy du Pont Next Door” – Reporter Ann O’Neil discusses what her childhood was like living near the Foxcatcher Estate

A Millionaire Madman Murdered My Olympic Champion Brother – Jane Ridley, New York Post.  Mark Schultz provides his account of the tragic loss of his brother.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Poltergeist (2015)

It’s ba-ack!

But hopefully not to return for awhile.

Angry ghosts terrorize a family and I haven’t missed a little person actor this much since the last lull I had to go through between Game of Thrones seasons four and five.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Poltergeist.

SPOOKY SPOILERS AHEAD

Let me lay it out for you, 3.5 readers.

Hollywood suits are, first and foremost, businessmen.  They put big bucks into the films that entertain us and they want a surefire return on their investment.  Therefore, remakes, reboots, and sequels of films that already hit it big are here to stay.

That’s not always a bad thing but let’s be honest with this one.

Zelda Rubinstein, the diminutive actress who played Tangina the Clairvoyant in the original Poltergeist in 1982, is what made this franchise. Who can forget her creepy pleas of “Carol Ann, come into the light?”

Well, the millennials can or never knew about her in the first place, so alas, this film is their introduction to a series that got its start through the legendary Steven Spielberg.

Maybe it’s because too much time has passed.  Maybe because in 1982 people knew less about technology and getting sucked into your TV seemed more like something to be worried about back then.

Or maybe it’s just that movies like Saw upped the game.  Maybe there are too many real world terrors to get spooked by a goofy movie.

Despite all these maybes, a sequel to a classic has the mission of living up to the original and this one didn’t.

Let me admit I’m biased.  I’m not a huge fan of the horror genre in the first place.  All of those movies are, more or less, the same thing.  Something goes bump in the night.  Everyone thinks the person who heard the bump first is crazy.  The naughty ghosts finally make their presence clear.  Usually, someone who’s been acting like a jerk buys the farm in an ironic manner to the audience’s delight (although that trope isn’t present in this film).

Zelda’s little feet left some big shoes to fill and although Jared Harris of Mad Men fame delivers a solid attempt as TV ghost investigator personality Carrigan Burke, older viewers are just left wishing our favorite clairvoyant was around to give us one last turn.

The setup?  It’s been so long that it feels like a remake but it’s actually a sequel.  Sam Rockwell leads the cast as father of the Bowen clan.  The family moves to the neighborhood where the Freelings were attacked by a poltergeist in the early 1980’s.

NOTE:  Before making a move, do some research to find out if your new neighborhood has a history of poltergeist activity.

A gaggle of fiendish ghosts trapped Freeling daughter Carol Ann in the TV in the original film and not to be outdone, they trap Madison, the baby of the Bowen family, in a flat screen this time around.

Oh those poltergeists.  What a bunch of one trick ponies.

(This is the part where some nerd will explain to me that the kids weren’t really trapped in the TVs, so much as they were pulled into an alternate dimension and the TV signal carries their voice to our dimension.  That’s true, Madison actually gets taken through a portal in the closet.  Thank you for clarifying, nerds.)

My favorite part of the flick?  Son Griffin’s drone toy is piloted into the great beyond.

I want a drone.  I really do.

STATUS:  It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but the time I wasted in the theater watching it will be the last time I see it. The people behind the film did their best and it’s not like they could have just hired another little person because Zelda’s performance can’t be recreated with any degree of success.  It’s worth a rental but don’t rush out anytime soon.

Not shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Hot Pursuit (2015)

Reese Witherspoon is short!  Sofia Vergara’s accent is hilarious!

This movie is dumb!

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of a movie so goofy that even the pimply faced teenaged usher asked “Really?” when he ripped the ticket I bought for it.

SPOILERS (if such a concept is possible for a movie like this) AHEAD.

“This is the performance of a lifetime!”

And thus, with a quip said without a straight face during the ending credits blooper reel, Witherspoon totally negates any ability for this reviewer to bust on the film.

This is a throwaway movie, one designed to make you chuckle, something you can check out when you’re bored but not feeling up to the emotional rigamarole of a heavy drama.  I know it, you know it and even the lead actress knows it: don’t take this flick too seriously.

It’s a mild comedy – not so lame that you won’t laugh yet not so raunchy that Grandma can’t enjoy it.  In fact, Aunt Gertie opined that it was a hoot and a half.

(I only brought her because she paid for the popcorn.  My blog stats took a major hit while she was watching this damn thing.)

The setup?  Vergara is the wife of a drug cartel informant who’s agreed to testify against his boss. Witherspoon, a police officer who’s been riding the pine in the evidence lock-up ever since an unfortunate mistake on the job tarnished her reputation, is selected to accompany a U.S. Marshall in transporting the couple to Dallas.

Shots are fired, foul play ensues, and the film turns into a mad cap buddy comedy/road trip romp as it’s up to Witherspoon to get Vergara to safety.

It’s a downgrade for Witherspoon, who we’ve grown accustomed to seeing in acclaimed dramas like the Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line or the more recent Cheryl Strayed inspired film Wild.

Arguably, it’s an upgrade for Vergara, as this marks her first top billing in a major feature film.  And while this is a movie I’m not going to rush to watch again anytime soon, there were a few moments where Vergara shines, thus making it known to Hollywood that she has more to offer the world than a pair of miraculous bosoms and a funny accent.

Speaking of Vergara’s signature accent, the film even busts on that in an ironic manner.  Witherspoon uses a heavy Southern accent and at times both characters claim to not be able to understand each other.

I saw this movie so you won’t have to, 3.5 readers.  No thanks necessary.

STATUS:  Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but I wouldn’t advise anyone to rush out to the theater to take it in either.  Might be worth a rental.  Might even be the movie that allows Vergara to branch out and take on heavier roles.  Alas, doesn’t earn a coveted spot on the magic shelf.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Tomorrowland (2015)

Tomorowland…

OR

Disney makes its own version of a Jason Bourne conspiracy thriller.  (PG of course)

Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of a movie all dreamers will want to see.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Movieclips Trailers – Tomorrowland – 2015

At the outset, this is a tough flick to review, 3.5 readers.

So much time is spent in the first half of the film building up the suspense (or “showing not telling” as we nerdy writer geeks might say, that I have to tread lightly lest I give the whole story away.

Tomorrowland is a magical place where artists, scientists, and assorted geniuses are allowed to brainstorm freely.

It’s also hidden from our reality, thus allowing freethinkers to do their thing without having their work abused by greedy business suits, corrupt politicians, or vengeful dictators.

In other words, it’s proof that the world could be a wonderful place if the best and the brightest were allowed to do their work for good instead of evil.

(So yeah, basically it really is a fantasy.)

As a boy in the 1960’s, Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) is recruited by a girl named Athena (Raffey Cassidy) to visit this wonderful world.  Everyone in the 1960’s version of Tomorrowland looks like an actual 1960’s person, thus leaving this reviewer to wonder if this wasn’t Disney’s attempt to poke fun at that old joke of, “Disney World gives us a glimpse of what the future will look like according to someone from the 1960’s.”

Flashforward to present day and Frank Walker, now played by George Clooney, is a grumpy recluse, displeased that he was ever offered a glimpse of a world he’s grown too jaded to believe could ever be possible.

Meanwhile, teenager Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) hasn’t given up hope for a better tomorrow yet.  She lives in Florida with her father (played by country singer Tim McGraw), a NASA engineer and despite his objections, she gets in trouble whilst trying to prevent a NASA launch pad from being torn down.

(Or in other words, Disney’s not-so-subtle plea for the government to not abandon the space program, which this nerd agrees with, but that’s a whole other conversation.)

Grown-up Frank and kids Athena and Casey come together in a “surprisingly complicated plot for a Disney movie” to save Tomorrowland and our own world from obligatory villain Nix (the incomparable Hugh Laurie.)

To get into the how and why is to reveal too much info to the point that you probably wouldn’t bother seeing it if I did.

However, there are some great quotes along the way.  Two that come to mind:

1)  It’s hard to come up with an idea and easy to give up.

2)  Casey tells a story about two wolves, one led by hope, the other despair.  Who wins?  “The one you feed.”

Honestly, my memory isn’t fresh and I might have mangled both of those quotes, but you get the gist.

This is a film made by dreamers for dreamers, discussing all the ups and downs of life as a person who thinks big.

It’s for older people like Frank, who once believed they could make a difference only to regret reaching for the proverbial stars in the first place.

It’s also for younger people, like Casey, who see nothing but opportunity on the horizon.

It’s for the young who are lucky enough to dream of a bold new world and for the old who tried to do their part to bring about that world only to experience one of those soul crushing setbacks that all too often force adults to give up on their dreams and settle for whatever means of providing a living they can find.

It tells the youngsters to keep dreaming and the old timers to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and get back in the game.

Is this movie one great big giant advertisement designed to lure kids into nagging their parents for a trip to Disney World, where they can visit Tomorrowland (a part of the Magic Kingdom)?

Of course.

But it’s also Disney’s attempt to convince dreamers of all ages to take big ideas and use them for good and not evil, to use inventions in ways that will cure the world’s problems, not cause more.

A grim apocalyptic future is coming our way if we don’t stop our petty squabbles and learn how to work together.  That’s about as deep and meaningful a message as can be provided in a film produced by a company operated by a cartoon mouse.

From a movie buff’s perspective, it’s fun to watch two girls hold their own in scenes with Hollywood legend Clooney.  (Between you and me, they even upstage him at times, but don’t tell George.)

Laurie delivers a fabulous performance as Nix and while I won’t give it away, feel free to generally post in the comments below if you think Nix’s viewpoint was wrong or right.

Are you a dreamer?  Are you a nerd who dreams of a day when nerds will be allowed to work without seeing the fruits of their labor used for evil purposes?

If you’re a fan of this blog, then you probably are.

So all 3.5 of you should check this movie out.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Violence!  Mayhem!  Action!  A superflous monster truck type vehicle whose only purpose is to carry drummers and a guitar player!

Buckle your seat belts, 3.5 readers.  It’s time for Bookshelf Q. Battler’s review of Mad Max: Fury Road.

WARNING:  POST-APOCALYPTIC SPOILERS AHEAD!

At the outset, this movie was a bit of a gamble for Hollywood.  These days, movies are all about beauty, beauty, beauty and anyone or anything ugly?  Adios.  Sayonara.  Today’s average movie goer wants to see nothing but attractive people and sets and Hollywood is often too scared to take a risk for an “outside the box” type of film.  (And yes, believe it or not, even though this movie is a sequel to a trilogy, it still qualifies as unique in this day in age).

Yet, Mad Max takes place in a world ravaged by a nuclear apocalypse.  The once fertile world has become a desolate wasteland.  Between the dirt and sand as far as the eye can see and the rusty cars driven throughout the film, movie goers who are used to dazzling colors will need a moment to adjust.

Then there’s the ugliness.  Don’t get me wrong, Charlize Theron aka Impersonator Furiosa is an ultra hottie and Tom Hardy is a handsome enough fellow (I can note that a man is pleasant looking without being accused of being accused of gayness, can’t I?  Come on, it’s 2015 people!) they’re “uglied up” with soot and dirt while the bevy of baddies chasing them are grotesque, maimed, deformed etc.

But the gamble paid off.  The post-apocalyptic world will likely not be a pretty place and Director George Miller captures that aspect and then some.  And despite the aforementioned drab colors, the movie features some of the best action, fight scenes, and special effects that I’ve seen in a long time.

I wish I could tell you more about that but I wouldn’t want to SPOIL it for you.

I discuss the craft of writing often on this blog and “show, don’t tell” is the one of the writer’s cardinal rules.

Holy Smokes, 3.5 readers.  For most of the first half of the movie, there’s a ton of showing and very little telling.  Even with few words being spoken, the action tells us everything we need to know.  (Watch the scene where Max and Furiosa meet for the first time and get back to me.)

The set up?  Mad Max is taken hostage by a group of wackos ruled by “Immortan Joe” (played by Hugh Keays-Byrne who, fun fact, played “Toecutter,” in the very first Mad Max film way back in 1979.

Joe has some health problems, has to use a breathing apparatus and well, let’s just say like most of his lackeys, he’s not going to win any beauty contests any time soon.

Furiosa hijacks Joe’s wives (it’s a step up for them, believe me) and heads for “greener” pastures, namely the long lost homeland she was kidnapped from as a girl.  Max gets snagged into the mess and ends up as the unwilling hero who eventually becomes willing.

The best part?  With the exception of a few scenes, this movie is essentially one gigantic chase epic!  It’s Joe’s flunkies in their rusty bolt buckets vs. Furiosa’s war rig.

Is this movie for everyone?  Probably not.  It does earn its R rating.  If you’re a teetotaler when it comes to movies, you might want to find another flick to take in.  I hear Pitch Perfect 2 is good.  Go see that instead.

But for the rest of you action lovers, you won’t be disappointed.

Some final thoughts:

1)  It reminded me how sad Mel Gibson’s major meltdown was.  Millennials, have you ever heard of Mel Gibson?  He was the original Mad Max.  In fact, the movie made his career.  He went on to great movies like the Lethal Weapon franchise and Braveheart just to name a few.  Then he sort of just went nutsy cuckoo, going off on all manner of inappropriate crazy rants and long story short, he’s far from his original Hollywood golden boy status.

2)  I get the impression this film was the cumulation of everything Director George Miller wanted to do in this post-apocalyptic world but lacked the special effects technology in the late 1970’s and early 1980s.

3)  Speaking of, how cool and rare is it that a director of a movie franchise gets to direct the modern day sequel?  (It’s not really a remake or a reboot so I guess sequel is the best label).

George Lucas, for example, met the wrath of fickle fans.  He gave us Star Wars but fans have been crying for a new director ever since they laid eyes on Jar Jar and now JJ Abrams is at the helm.

Miller directed the original Mad Max Trilogy (Mad Max, Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome) and thirty-six years later, he brought his vision back to the big screen.  Artists are often separated from their art in the name of profit all the time, so a director being allowed to stand by his work is refreshing.

4)  Where does Mad Max fit in when it comes to the science fiction world?  It’s not space opera.  There’s no technology.  In fact, the absence of technology is the entire point of the film.  Ultimately, the franchise’s major credit is that it gave birth to the Sci-Fi sub-genre of Post-Apocalyptic fiction.

5)  Speaking of, let’s try our best to make the world a better place, ok?  I know I’m just a blogger with 3.5 readers but global nuclear annihilation is a threat that’s just as real today as it was when the original films were made long ago. (Maybe even more so if you consider the fact that North Korea, a country that just executed a dude with a friggin’ anti-aircraft gun, has them.)

If you think about it, a Mad Maxian world where people revert to being savages clinging to rusty broken down cars is probably the BEST CASE SCENARIO of a nuclear war.  In actuality, few people, if any would be left, let alone enough to start small civilizations.

We only have one world people and believe it or not, despite the many differences we claim to have, we’re all pretty much the same.  We want success, stability, happiness, something to look forward to.

We all really need to reach a point where we can share the same planet without the subtle threat of “Cross me and I’ll blow the crap out of you” lingering in the background.

Save the world from ending up in the clutches of Immortan Joe, folks.

In conclusion, two men enter.  One man leaves.  That is the way of thunderdome.

(Really wish they could have worked that line into this one somehow.)

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comic Book Girl 19’s Vids=Awesome

If you’re a nerd (and chances are if you’re here then you are) then you’ll totally enjoy ComicBookGirl19’s youtube channel.

She’s funny, she’s witty, her videos are well produced.  For Game of Thrones fans she has a bunch of videos where she gives you the scoop on the historical background of the various houses.  I know I felt a little lost watching the show until I found her videos and was able to learn the who’s who and what’s what of Westeros.

She also has fun characters that appear on her show like “Robot” and “Space Brain.”  I dunno.  Seems a little nerdy to me.  Dudes who claim to know aliens and yetis would be into that sort of thing I suppose.

Anyway, we’re all “indies” in one way or another just trying to get a foothold in this big wide world of Internet commentary, but I’d argue her videos provide a good standard for e-nerds to aspire to.

Here’s her movie review of Avengers: Age of Ultron

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – The Age of Adaline (2015)

It’s an eternal romance that makes you think about the fragility of life and love.

Bookshelf Q. Battler here to review the crap out of The Age of Adaline.

Warning:  spoilers to come.

The incomparable Blake Lively, star of stage, screen and many of Bookshelf Q. Battler’s fantasies stars as Adaline Bowman.  Born at the turn of the Twentieth Century, she experiences a freak accident that leaves her ageless.  No matter how many years pass, she continues to remain young and beautiful.

TRAILER – Age of Adaline – Lionsgate

When Adaline hits her forties, people begin asking questions about how she’s managed to remain so youthful and so her life of solitude begins.  Afraid to reveal her secret, she packs up and moves to a new place every ten years, taking on a new identity every time she does so.

Tragically, she refuses to look for love as she figures it will be too heartbreaking when she grows old while a significant other remains young.

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Iron Man!  Thor!  Hulk!  Captain America!  Black Widow!  Hawkeye!  Various and sundry other Avengers!

ASSEMBLE!

It’s time for Bookshelf Q. Battler’s review of Avengers: Age of Ultron!

Dun…dun dun da dun…dun dun…dunnnnn….dun dun da dun dun dun!

Sorry, that was me trying to sing the Avengers’ theme song.  Doesn’t translate well through the written word.

The summer movie season is has arrived and Hollywood is coming out swinging with this superhero extravaganza.

If you SPOILERS make you angrier than Bruce Banner with a stubbed toe, you might not want to click below:

Continue reading

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

It took the entertainment industry 32 years to get Luke Skywalker back on the big screen.  Paul Blart was back in 6.

Hollywood, we need to have a talk about your priorities.

Paul Blart:  Mall Cop 2 – S

I’m…I’m sorry everyone.

Let’s just put it all out there.  I’m sorry I lost 2 hours of my precious life on this movie.  You’re sorry you lost 5 minutes of yours reading this review.  We’re all sorry.  Let’s just try to get through this, ok?

For those who’ve never wasted their lives, Paul Blart is a mall cop played by Kevin James.  He takes his job seriously, maybe a bit too seriously.  That isn’t easy, as few, if any, have respect for the noble mall cop.

In the first film, Blart saved his mall from a group of highly trained criminals who took control of a shopping center in order to rob…um…the local branch bank.  Ummm….really?  For more criminal masterminds, wouldn’t robbing a mall branch bank be akin to knocking over a 7-11?  I mean, the idea that highly sophisticated ne’er-do-wells would put so much time and effort into…

Nope.  Nope.  Not going to question it.  Just going to sit back and watch.

This time Blart attends the security officer convention in Las Vegas, only to have his daughter kidnapped by art thieves who are really there mainly just as an excuse for Blart to crack the case with his patented “I’m incompetent but somehow I get things done anyway” style.

Here’s the hard part when it comes to busting on Paul Blart – the movie constantly busts on itself.  The folks behind the screen are fully aware they aren’t bringing you high-brow humor.

And it’s not like they tricked you into thinking you’re coming to see something sophisticated.  They didn’t package it as “Shakespeare’s Greatest Hits” to get you in the theater (would that have gotten you in the theater?) and then pull the rug from underneath you and show you Paul Blart.

It’s goofy.  It’s silly.  It isn’t raunchy, life a minute fun like the original Hangover.  When we’re talking about movies you can take the whole family to, Paul Blart is about as funny as it gets.

It has its moments.  Blart gets attacked by various animals.  Blart crosses between two casino rooftops on a zip line.

An attractive female hotel manager provides Blart with some assistance.  The dimwitted Blart mistakes this as a pass, and “shuts her down” with a longwinded speech about how he’s off the market.  She wasn’t buying in the first place, but as the movie progresses, the more he rejects her, the crazier about him she becomes until she’s madly in love with him.

I’m just going to throw it out there – I might try that trick myself.  Attention women of the world, I reject you.

It’s not the worst movie in the world.  It might be worth a rental.  I don’t think you need to rush out to see it at the theater.

Yeah.  I took that bullet for you.  I even wore a disguise so no one would recognize me coming out of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.  You’re welcome.

Status:  Unshelf worthy.  You might watch it once if you’ve got nothing better to do, but as the years go on, you won’t be feeling any sudden urges to return to the world of Blart.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Movie Review – Run All Night (2015)

Bookshelf Q. Battler here.  I snuck out while the Yeti was playing Tapper to take in a movie tonight.  Hate to say it, but the Yeti has become less of a captor and more of an annoying uninvited house guest.

But I digress.

Regrets?  Liam Neeson’s Jimmy Conlon has had a few and they’re all catching up with him over the course of one non-stop, action packed night.

Movieclips Trailers

Ever since Taken, Neeson has had a resurgence, moving from dramatic actor to tough guy action star.  In most of these films, he’s calm, cool, collected.  Surprisingly, in this film we see a divergence.  Neeson still plays a man you want on your side if you’re in a pinch, but he’s also a bad guy.  Worse, he’s not just any bad guy.  When we’re introduced to Jimmy, he’s a sloppy, slobbering, lowlife drunk, depressed over a life spent being a murderer for his longtime friend and mob boss Shawn Maguire (Ed Harris).  Of course, Jimmy sobers up quickly as he can’t be expected to take out one goon after the next in an inebriated state.

Michael Conlon (Joel Kinnaman from last year’s Robocop reboot) hates his father and avoids him all costs in the name of living a law abiding life.  Unfortunately, he ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time when he inadvertently witnesses Maguire’s son Danny (Boyd Holbrook) shoot some Albanian drug dealers during a deal gone awry.

Danny tries to shoot Michael so as to leave no witnesses but ends up being shot by Jimmy.  Maguire vows revenge against his long time friend and criminal associate and has a seemingly endless supply of degenerate henchmen to lob at the father-son duo as they navigate their way through the streets of New York City.

Common provides a chilling turn as stone cold hit man Andrew Price, dispatched by Maguire to take the Conlons out.  Vincent D’Onofrio also submits an emotional performance as Detective Harding, the good cop who has been hunting Jimmy for twenty-five years, only to see every case he’s brought against the mob murderer fall through the cracks of a corrupt justice system.

And yet, the rub for Harding is that on this particular night, Jimmy is not the bad guy, so the detective is struck with the unenviable task of having to help a man he despises do a good thing – i.e. save the lives of Michael and his family.

Why is revenge such a powerful force that it makes men blind to the realities around them?  Maguire knows his son did wrong.  He knows Jimmy just did something any father would do.  Even so, Maguire is out for blood and it is a bit heartbreaking to watch as a duo with a thirty year friendship take each other on.

Nick Nolte makes a quick cameo and, well, not to put the guy down because, hey, time eventually comes for all of us, but it did take me a second to realize it was Nick Nolte.

The film moves at a mile a minute pace and never slows down.  If you’re looking for a good Spring action flick, you won’t be disappointed.

STATUS:  Shelf-worthy

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,