Tag Archives: hbo

May 23 2016
2 Comments
Daily Discussion with BQB

Daily Discussion with BQB – Which Came First, the Chicken or the Hodor?

cropped-img_1757

Ahem.

SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.

You have been forewarned about spoilers.

I have a question about the whole Hodor hullabaloo.

So last night we found out that Hodor’s name is Hodor because in the present timeline of Game of Thrones, Bran worged into the mind of young Hodor, back when he was Willis, and told him to “hold the door” to keep some monsters at bay in the present.

Young Willis had such a bad reaction to it that it broke his mind and he just kept repeating “hold the door” over and over until that was shortened to “Hodor.”

And then the poor guy’s life basically became walking around saying “Hodor” until he grew old and got to the point where he could hold the door for these dumb kids.

OK. Here’s my question.  Hodor, at some point, would have had to have gotten the kids to the tree place where this all goes down.

Is there an alternative timeline where Hodor was like a person who spoke normally and got the kids up North while being a sophisticated, intelligent talker and then once Bran worged back in time, the timeline changed and made it so that Hodor had been a guy who just says Hodor all along?

Time travel can be so difficult.

It’s like Terminator.  John Connor sends Kyle Reece back in time to protect his mother, Sarah Connor.  Kyle boinks Sarah and ends up as John’s father, but at some point, there had to have been some timeline where some other guy boinked Sarah to create John so that there would have been a John in the future to send Kyle to the past to inevitably boink his mother.

What say you, 3.5 readers?  Was there a well spoken Hodor before there was a Hodor speaking Hodor?

Bonus Question – Do you think George RR Martin knew from the start that Hodor would one day become a Hodor who holds the door and that’s why he named him Hodor?

Or did he coincidentally name him Hodor because he thought it would be funny for a guy to be wandering around who just says Hodor and then eventually he was like “hey Hodor sounds like hold the door maybe I can use this…”

As others have said, I think GRRM knew from the beginning.  But wow. That means he’s been holding onto this secret since the 1990s.

 

Tagged , , , , , ,
May 23 2016
3 Comments
TV

Game of Thrones Recap – Season 6, Episode 5 – “The Door”

cropped-img_1757

SPOILERS, 3.5 READERS!  SPOILERS, I SAY!

BEWARE THE SPOILERS!

Holy crap.  What an episode. What a season! This show is firing on all cylinders.

Enjoyed the SNL-esque parody.  Robert getting gored by the boar, the actors making fun of Cersei, Ned, Sansa, Joffrey, Tyrion et. al.

People have been poking fun at their leaders for a long time I suppose.

It made me realize this show has been on for so long it can make fun of itself. Where did the 2010’s go? It feels like it just started yesterday.

We learned how the Whitewalkers were made.

Sansa is unhappy with Littlefinger. But she and Jon are off to attempt to whoop Ramsay’s ass.

Varys looked bested for the first time due to yet another red woman i.e. Lord of Light priestess.

And we, very sadly, learned how Hodor got his name.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

Tagged , , , ,
May 20 2016
4 Comments
TV

Comicbookgirl19’s Game of Thrones Epic History Videos

Hey 3.5 Readers.

I wish I had the time to read the Game of Thrones books.  There’s a lot of back story that explains why the characters do what they do on the show.

For me, the next best thing was Comicbookgirl19’s Game of Thrones’ Epic History Vidoes on YouTube.

She goes through all the pre-show history for the various houses. Here’s one for House Lannister, for example:

Check it out. I’d say you want to be caught up at least on the first couple of season on the show in the case of spoilers, but she really goes into the nitty gritty of how everyone got to be where they are.  Helped me to understand the show a lot better.

Also, she’s a funny nerd with pink hair.

Tagged , , , , , ,
May 16 2016
2 Comments
TV

Game of Thrones Recap – Season 6 – “Book of the Stranger”

cropped-img_1757Hey 3.5 Readers.

BQB here.

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

OK let’s get to it.

A lot of stuff happening in tonight’s episode that we’ve waited to see for years.

Sansa finally reunited with her brother, Jon Snow. And things are starting to look like Ramsey and Jon Snow will throw down.

Theon pledges allegiance to his sister.

The Tyrells are going to rescue Margery.

And…KHALEESI BOOBS! GRATUITOUS KHALEESI BOOBS!

The Khaleesi exercising her unburnt skills against the khals.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

 

 

Tagged , , , , ,
May 09 2016
9 Comments
TV

Game of Thrones Recap – Season 6, Episode 3

cropped-img_1757

Hey 3.5 readers.

Ahem. SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Lots of stuff going on. Jon Snow’s back and to me, he basically did the ultimate shitty job walk out.

A brother of the Knight’s Watch’s watch ends when he dies, and Jon Snow did die, so…yup. It’s all legal. And why should he stay when those douches tried to kill him?

Assumedly, he’ll go take back Winterfell, having the best claimed to it as the eldest Stark child (even though as he is often reminded, he’s a bastard.)

Or is he? A flashback gave us the beginning of a glimpse as to Jon Snow’s true past.

Hopefully, that’ll be revisited next week.

What say you, 3.5 readers?

Tagged , , , , , ,
May 05 2016
2 Comments
Game of Thrones

My Theories About Jon Snow and His Direwolf

You know nothing, 3.5 readers.

memes-jon-snow-11

Jon Snow knows nothing…or does he?

You know nothing.

But if you read this post, you will know SPOILERS!

So you know, if you don’t want to know what’s happening on Game of Thrones then stop reading. Go play Parcheesi or eat a cheese sandwich or take a walk or some shit.

I don’t know. It’s not my job to know what to tell you what you should do when you don’t want to read Game of Thrones SPOILERS.

OK so now that all of the people with suspect nerd credentials are out of the way, let’s talk last week’s episode.

So in Season 6, Episode 2 of Game of Thrones – “Home” we find out Jon Snow is alive.

Melisandre, the Red Woman with the Evil Magic Vagina performs some hocus pocus. But nothing happens.  So she and the other warrior dudes give up.

And if you ask me, they all give up too quickly. I mean, if Jon Snow were my friend, I might have tried the spell at least two more times.

Hell, if you were just some dopey stranger off the street I might try a life saving spell at least one more time.

But whatever. So then everyone leaves. And Jon Snow’s body is alone with his dire wolf.

And the wolf starts to sir.  And then Jon Snow gasps for air and he’s alive.

Is there anything going on with that wolf?

Theories:

  • It’s a Freaky Friday situation. Jon Snow didn’t talk. He just gasped for air. Ergo, Melisandre did the spell wrong and now the wolf’s soul is in Jon and Jon’s snow is in the wolf. Kit Harrington will just walk around barking at everyone.
  • Melisandre’s spell had nothing to do with it. Jon Snow has been a worg all along, like his little brother, Bran. Jon worged his ass into his dire wolf just before he died.  And then uh, I don’t know. Melisandre’s spell did have something to do with it because whatever she did pulled Jon’s soul out of the wolf and into Jon Snow’s body.
  • Nothing happened with the wolf other than the show runners wanted to show you that after everyone had given up, the wolf, with its heightened wolf senses, sensed Jon Snow was back.

All I know is that no shadow assassins popped out of Melisandre’s magic vagina and her clothes and magic age defying necklace stayed on the entire time, thank God.

What theories do you 3.5 readers have going into this coming Sunday’s episode?

FULL DISCLOSURE: I didn’t make that Jon Snow meme it’s just one of many Jon Snow memes going about in the Game of Thrones nerdosphere and I thought it was funny.

Tagged , , , , ,
May 02 2016
Leave a comment
TV

Game of Thrones Recap – Season 6, Episode 2 – “Home”

Hey 3.5 Readers.

BQB here.

What an episode, right?

OK before we get started…THIS POST IS DARK AND FULL OF SPOILERS!

cropped-img_1757

He’s alive!  He’s alive!

Jon Snow’s back and my prediction failed. Melisandre did not use her magic vagina.

She just used her magic instead.

And it had nothing to do with the magic necklace.

Lots of great writing and acting in this episode.

You know a show is great when it can a) make you feel bad for Roose Bolton and b) make you feel bad for Melisandre.

By the way, didn’t that Iron Born Uncle out of left field look a lot like Theon?

Methinks there was some hanky panky between him and his sister-in-law.

Anyway. Game of Thrones still has got it going on after six years.

By the way, am I the only one who thought Jon Snow was going to come back in the dire wolf’s body for a second?

They kept focusing on the wolf looking around.  I thought that was where they were going for a bit.

Oh well. Fake out.

Let me know what you think, 3.5 readers. Looking forward to next week already.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Apr 30 2016
13 Comments
TV

Top Ten Worst TV Show Endings/Series Finales Ever – #10 – The Sopranos

1378294009-800pxIt’s not over until the fat lady sings but more often than not, TV writers have a tendency to make the fat lady shrug her shoulders, go, “Meh” and walk unceremoniously off stage.

We the viewers invest a lot of time in our favorite television shows. Is it too much to ask for the people in charge of these shows to return the favor?

From BQB HQ in Fabulous East Randomtown, here are the Top Ten Worst TV Series Finales Ever:

(NOTE: SPOILERS are revealed, so if you want to be disappointed on your own without me telling you how you’ll be disappointed, read no further.)

10.  The Sopranos – Every series sets forth a number of big questions and the unspoken deal between writer and viewer is that if viewers spend enough time with a show, the questions will be answered.

The question dangling over Tony Soprano’s head? What was going to happen to the New Jersey mob boss?

Was he going to end up in jail? Killed by one of his enemies? Betrayed by one of his friends (or hell, even his family)?

Or would he just come out on top, one step ahead of everyone who wanted to see him behind bars or six feet under?

The answer we got? “Meh.”

The show ends with Tony and family about to order dinner at a restaurant. In an homage to The Godfather, a man in a Member’s Only jacket ominously enters the bathroom. Fans of gangster flicks immediately recall how Michael Corleone once came out of a restaurant bathroom with a gun blazing.

Daughter Meadow arrives on the scene late and has difficulty parallel parking her car outside, suggesting that she may very well luck out into narrowly escaping a blood bath.

Like so many viewers, I too started slapping my cable box when the screen went black.

The last season tied up a seasonal arc. There was a whole beef between Tony and the New York mob and Tony came out on top. Fine, but that didn’t really answer what his overall fate would be.

As the viewers of the groundbreaking show, we really deserved to know how Tony’s life story ends.

And we just got a make up your own ending.  You were free to think that Tony, Carmella and AJ were massacred.  Or, if you prefer, Meadow joined them, they had a nice dinner, and then Tony continued to be a mobster anyway.

The sad part? Tony had so much anxiety about the uncertainty of his life. He often lamented how he’d been drafted into the “family business” by default.  He sought stability and suffered from panic attacks that made him pass out when he didn’t get it.

Take away all the evil mobsters, murders, drugs, debauchery and death and the average viewer with a family, a mortgage, a tough job, struggling to make ends meet and wondering what tough breaks life was going to hurl at him next likely found Tony’s anxious plight to be relatable.

Ironically, all we got was anxiety over our unanswered questions in the end.

Worse, producer David Chase, years later in an interview, noted that the ending meant Tony lived.

Sigh.  We don’t even get the do-it-yourself ending anymore.

Major props to this show though because it really was one of the first to draw big audiences to cable TV, proving that there was a desire among the public for darker storylines and well…the kind of gratuitous sex and violence that only pay television can provide.

We wouldn’t be oggling fantasy maiden boobs today on Game of Thrones had The Sopranos not paved the way with the ladies of the Bada Bing.

 

 

 

Tagged , , , , ,
Apr 28 2016
7 Comments
TV

Melisandre, Jon Snow and an Alternative Shadow Assassin Theory

e26be0d29e33e4192ac2533dd0f032657db381ca7070929d080d14fed4fa98d6

Is it? Or will your vagina make Jon Snow live again?

Hey 3.5 Readers.

BQB here.

OK.  I had an epiphany.

Check this out.

  • George RR Martin likes to fake us out.
  • Though the show is now beyond his books, he’s still working with the show runners to teach them how to be masters of the fake out.
  • So the show/books like to make us think one thing will happen then another thing happens.

What is the show trying to make us think will happen?

That Melisandre will give her life saving necklace to Jon Snow and bring him back to life.

What is going to happen?

OK.  There should be some kind of cash prize for me if this actually happens but here goes. Here is my theory.

That shadow assassin wasn’t just a shadow.  It was an evil soul brought back into the world of the living and then it was bound to do Melisandre’s bidding i.e. kill Renley Baratheon.

OK.  Follow me on this one.  Grab a pen and paper, make a flowchart if it helps.

  • Melisandre has the hots for Jon Snow.  She is warm for his form and because he was loyal to the Knight’s Watch and perhaps sad over the loss of Ygritte, he denied Melisandre’s advances.  Jon Snow was like the first man in history to resist the awesome power of Melisandre’s evil magical vagina.  Crows before hoes, baby. Crows before hoes.
  • As we know, Melisandre can push evil spirits out of her evil magic vagina.
  • GROUNDBREAKING THEORY: Melisandre will summon Jon Snow’s spirit out of the underworld, bring it back to the world of the living by PUSHING JON SNOW’S SOUL STRAIGHT OUT OF HER EVIL MAGICAL VAGINA and then bam!  Drop Jon Snow’s soul back into Jon Snow’s body.

I’m not exactly sure how this will happen.  Not going to lie. It may be a scene that involves her squatting over Jon Snow’s corpse to get the job done. Like the soul would have to fly out of her evil magic vagina and into Jon’s mouth or something.

Stop being disgusted! This is fantasy realm science, people.

3.5 Readers: BQB, we must debunk you. The shadow assassin wasn’t a soul. It was a magic ghost or specter of some kind that was the product of illicit humping between Melisandre and Stannis.

Lady Catelyn even reported that when she briefly saw the shadow assassin, it appeared to have Stannis’ face.

Since there is already a Jon Snow, Melisandre can’t boink another dude and create a shadow Jon Snow.  She can’t boink Jon Snow at present because he’s a stiff, no pun intended.

OK. You’ve got me, 3.5 readers, but consider this:

A)  Just because Melisandre pushed a shadow assassin out of her enchanted cooter that turned out to be the product of a Stannis/Melisandre boink session does not mean that she does not have the ability to summon a soul and pop it out of her magic vagina. We just haven’t seen her do it yet.

B)  What comes back may not be Jon Snow.  The Red Woman is a world class seductress and therefore can convince 99.9 percent of men to boink her.  Ergo, she might boink some other dude, any other dude, maybe one of the Knight’s Watch dudes she’s holed up with (probably not Ser Davos as he’s too honorable to boink evil witches so he’s in that .1 percent with Jon Snow).

So she and some dude will boink and then she will become pregnant with another shadow assassin that looks like some other dude and then she will order the shadow assassin to enter Jon Snow’s body because…

…STAY WITH ME…

She wants Jon Snow bad. Like really bad.  So bad.  Like he’s the only man she’s ever really, really wanted and it pains her so much that he said no and so now that he’s dead this is her opportunity to put a shadow assassin into Jon’s body and essentially turn Jon Snow’s reanimated corpse into her possessed love slave.

If the shadow assassin is in Jon Snow’s body, does that technically mean Melisandre is boinking her shadow assassin son?

Yes, but to her it will be a substitute for boinking an alive Jon Snow. She’s the Red Woman. Evil witches don’t give a shit about morality and shit.  She wants Jon Snow anyway she can get him.

And then when they aren’t boinking he will be her unwitting slave puppet because she can make the shadow assassin inside of him do her evil bidding. She can cast spells and shit and order Evil Puppet Jon Snow to murder her enemies and shit.  They will be unstoppable.

IN SUMMATION

A) This would be the ultimate fake out.  Make us think she’s sacrificing her life in a selfless act by giving Jon Snow her necklace…only to turn him into her unwitting man servant sex slave through the use of shadow assassin evil vagina magic.

B) There is a possibility that she might just bring Jon Snow back as himself and maybe he’ll be so grateful that he’ll boink her but knowing Melisandre, the shadow assassin slave theory is more likely.

C) Either way, if I am right, I really deserve a cash prize or at least lunch with George RR Martin or something.

D) Melisandre give up her life to save someone else? Bitch please! She is going to hang onto that necklace with a kung-fu death grip.

Thank you 3.5 readers. Tell me if you think my theory is sound.  Share it with your friends.  And let’s watch next week to see if I’m right.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 26 2016
Leave a comment
search engine optimized poet

Search Engine Optimized Poet – What is Beyonce’s Lemonade About?

:::Bongo Drum Beats:::

Hey there all you hep cats and hep kittens. Come on down to the East Randomtown Java Bean, where the poets always stink and the cups are never clean.

Next on the mic is the one and only Search Engine Optimized Poet…the only rhyme-smith whose beats bring in the Googler’s feets, ya dig?

Lemonade!  Whoa, Lemonade!

What is Beyonce’s new album all about?

Is Rachel Roy “Becky with good hair?”

Of that can there be any doubt?

Or is it about black female power?

Hell, is it just about a tasty yellow drink that is sour?up-korora-beatnik-800px

I swear I don’t know and I have been at this for an hour.

Hair!  Becky with good hair!

Who in the heck could you be?

Where can I find you, Becky oh Becky, are you way up high in a tree?

HBO!  Whoa, HBO!  Why are there so many good shows on you?

When Melisandre turned into an elderly hag, I swear I almost made a Number Two.

Melisandre’s necklace!  Whoa, Melisandre’s necklace!

Every time I say it BQB’s blog stats sore.

Melisandre’s necklace! Whoa, Melisandre’s necklace!

Haven’t I seen Melisandre without her necklace on before?

Snore.  I can’t get to sleep.

Where can I buy a used truck or a Jeep?

Is it very hard to raise sheep?

Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Was he buried too deep?

Creep.  So I’m creepin’ on the down low,

‘Cept nobody’s supposed to know.

Oh Lisa Left Eye Lopes,

You took my heart with you when you did go.

Joe.  I need a good strong cup.

And maybe later I’ll drink a 7-Up.

Did you know Orlando Jones used to be the 7-Up guy?

Crap. I’m so old now I could cry.

But why?  Why is Gwen Stefani the best member of No Doubt?

And please, won’t someone tell me what Beyonce’s Lemonade Album is all about?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
← Older posts
Newer posts →