Fear not, 3.5 readers. I have assigned Video Game Rack Fighter to investigate this nonsense and get back to you.
In the meantime, stop hunting Pokemons at the Holocaust Museum, churches, graveyards, etc etc.
Buncha heathens.
Bookshelf Battle
The only site where new bestsellers are forced to do battle for space on a nerd's bookshelf.
Tag Archives: video games
Movie Review – Warcraft (2016)
By: Special Guest Video Game Movie Reviewer Video Game Rack Fighter.
Ms. Fighter – Currently in Training to Defend Her Title in the Upcoming 2016 Car Thief Mayhem World Championship Competition
It’s here! It’s finally here!
The long awaited film based on an online multi-player game is here.
Did it suffer the “video game movies suck curse?”
Read on to find out but beware SPOILERS.
VGRF here with a review of Warcraft.
Movieclips Trailers – Warcraft
Warcraft. The online game in which humans can choose to be a variety of fantasy characters and fight for virtual power and gold has been around forever, or at least 1996.
That’s right millennials. Some of us were nerding it up before you were born and even before it became chic to declare yourself a nerd.
And now there’s a movie. It broke the box office in China, bringing in over $145 million this weekend just in that country. The Chinese love their Warcraft.
Kind of makes me wish I could go back in time and start my own video game company that allows people to pretend to be wizards, warriors, elves, orcs or what have you.
Speaking of orcs, let’s talk about the movie.
Orcs. Long considered the perpetually raging, possibly misunderstood buttholes of the fantasy realm, they’ve destroyed their world and rather than seek to mend their evil orcish ways, they cross through a porthole into the human realm of Azeroth and start conquering and pillaging and generally orcing shit up in true orc fashion.
Hmm. Maybe the Azerothians need to build a wall and make the Orcs pay for it?
Huh? Huh? Crickets. Hmm. Blame BQB. That joke was his idea.
Moving on. Naturally, the humans aren’t going to stand for all this orcish tomfoolery. From thereon, it’s difficult to figure out who’s who and what’s what because all the human dudes are basically a bunch of long haired hipster beardos who all look alike.
But, if you make an effort to get past that, you’ll see Dominic Cooper as the King Wrynn, Travis Fimmel as Commander Lothar, and Ben Foster as Medivh the Guardian.
I don’t want to give too much away, but suffice to say hi jinx ensue when one orc clan leader has second thoughts about all the evil orcishness and seeks to ally himself with the humans.
Paula Patton plays Garona, the half-human/half-orc and the only one who could possibly bring peace between humans and orcs.
Yeesh. So I assume her father was an orc and her mother was a human. Her poor, poor mother. She probably didn’t walk right for a year after that.
Crickets? Another joke suggestion from BQB. Unless you laughed. Then it was all mine.
Ultimately, I don’t think this movie suffers from the “all video game movies suck” curse.
An actual effort was made to develop characters, a plot, a storyline. I won’t spoil the ending but it is obvious that further sequels are in the works.
If you aren’t a nerd or you dislike the fantasy genre, you probably won’t enjoy it.
It is more in line with the traditional fantasy genre style. Nerds in robes – wizards, elves, dwarves, everyone geeking it up and expecting a nerd audience who knows what all this nerd shit means.
As I watched it, it dawned on me that George RR Martin was able to get a wide, diverse audience into his Song of Ice and Fire (aka Game of Thrones) series because he was able to take so many relatable human problems and insert them into a fantasy world.
But for Warcraft, you’re going to have to be a nerd to enjoy it.
Luckily for you, if you are reading this blog, you already are one.
Visually stunning. Worth to see it on the big screen.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
Video Game Rack Fighter’s Video Game of the Month – May 2016 – Halo 5
By: Video Game Rack Fighter, Official Bookshelf Battle Video Game Reviewer
Ms. Video Game Rack Fighter – World’s Number One Car Thief Mayhem Champion; BQB’s Love Interest Until She Can Find a Man with a Blog That Has 7.5 Readers
Happy Memorial Day Weekend, 3.5 readers.
The Master Chief is at it again and this time he’s run afoul of UNSC (United Nations Space Command) in Halo 5.
Gotta level with you. This game came out in October, so it’s a bit lame that I’m only now getting around to review it.
Then again, it’s equally lame that that nerd BQB only let me have a column in April.
Halo. What a franchise. What a series. For at least 16 years or so, it’s been the number one reason why you need to have an X-Box.
There’s an intricate back story involving intergalactic intrigue, but if you don’t care about it, you can always just have fun turning aliens into go.
No offense, Alien Jones. I’m not talking about good aliens. I’m talking about douche aliens.
Aliens like the species who have formed the Covenant, an organization dedicated to wiping out humanity.
The Master Chief has come a long way and he’s still going. This time he’s disobeying UNSC command. Throughout the game, you go back and forth, sometimes playing as the Master Chief, sometimes playing as Jameson Locke, the Spartan soldier ordered to bring the Chief in.
The Arbiter (an alien on the UNSC’s side) returns with Keith David lending his voice. Meanwhile, Nathan Fillion of Firefly and last season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer gives his voice and likeness to create a Spartan soldier on Locke’s team.
Halo really upped the video game ante back in the day. Perhaps there are video game historians with better memories than mine but I believe it was one of the very first (some might even argue the first) game where a character could run around, or jump in a vehicle, or ride in a vehicle while a computerized character drives. Essentially, the entire battlefield is immersive and along the way, you choose the best weapons, vehicles and overall approach that fits your strengths and weaknesses.
Do you need to have played the previous five? You’ve missed out if you haven’t but no, you’ll still catch the plot. If you don’t catch it, just shoot some aliens and keep running.
Or climb in your Warthog and drive in an epic race towards safety. No Halo game is ever complete without an epic Warthog chase.
STATUS: Rack worthy.
Daily Discussion with BQB – Will Virtual Reality Be the Next Big Thing?
Happy Saturday 3.5 Readers.
Virtual reality. How big do you think it will get?
One of BQB’s 3.5 readers reads Bookshelf Battle in VR.
A lot of articles in the news. Seems like every tech company from Facebook to Google is getting in on the action.
VR was dabbled with in the 1990s but the graphics weren’t that good. Community had an episode last year where they made fun of it. (Why would you want to put o a pair of VR goggles and search through a virtual filing cabinet to find a file when you could just point and click your mouse?)
I think it all depends on the quality of games and/or experiences that can be made. If they can make something that truly immerses you and allows you to pretend to do something you could otherwise never do then they might be onto something.
At any rate, the last big tech innovation was the iPad/tablets. Now it seems like all the tech companies are going full force into Virtual Reality.
What say you, 3.5 readers? Would you like to read this horrible blog through VR glasses?
Angry Birds Movie
I’m not going to write a very in-depth review, but it was cute, funny, and they took the concept of an app based video game that requires you to shoot birds with a sling shot at pigs and make a whole movie about it.
Worth checking out.
Game of the Month With Video Game Rack Fighter – Uncharted 4
Video Game Rack Fighter – Ranking World Car Thief Mayhem Champion; Currently Involved with Bookshelf Q. Battler (She has our condolences.)
Hey 3.5 Readers,
Video Game Rack Fighter here, swiping BQB’s laptop to bring you my very first Game of the Month column.
Alien Jones has a column. Dr. Hugo Von Science has a column. Even the Yeti has a column but that’s ok, BQB. Make the best thing that ever happened to you wait an entire year to get her own column. That’s totally fair.
***cough cough JERKFACE! cough cough***
Excuse me. Lots of dust here in BQB HQ.
Uncharted 4! Let’s check out the trailer:
Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End – Playstation
3.5 readers, I love, love, love this series. It is cinematic gameplay at its best. These games always grab hold of you, drag you in, and leave you feeling like you’re guiding treasure hunter Nathan Drake through his very own movie.
The graphics are that good, rivaling any big Hollywood blockbuster.
There’s a little bit of everything. Gunplay. Oh stop. If you’re reading this then you’re a video game nerd and you know you can’t have a good game unless you’ve got some gun action.
Hell, I’ve been lobbying Nintendo to let Mario pack a Mac-10 but they won’t return my calls. Dorks.
There’s death defying stunts. You’ll feel like you’re with Drake as he’s clinging on that ledge, overlooking a drop into vast nothingness below.
And there are puzzles. The puzzles I’m not that huge a fan of. Some of them are pretty obvious. Others are real head scratchers that take some time. Occasionally, they take too much time and then I have to go online to search for the answers so I can get back to making Drake make things go boom.
If you’re new to the series, it follows Nathan Drake, modern day ancestor of 1500’s explorer Sir Francis Drake, as he goes on globe trotting adventures to uncover treasures and relics. Obviously, there are always bad guys with unlimited supplies of henchmen getting in the way.
Naughty Dog, the game’s developer, scored a winner when they first began making this series. I’ve played them all and they keep getting better and better, proving that it is possible for games to a) have a lot of action and b) a compelling storyline.
Screw the movies. Just stay home and play Uncharted 4. Just don’t get any popcorn grease on your controller. Those things are like seventy bucks a pop.
You know, a friend of mine who only has an X-Box asked me whether or not Uncharted is worth springing for a Playstation (seeing as how it is exclusive to PS.)
My answer? If you’ve got the money and plunking it down isn’t going to leave you sleeping in a cardboard box at night, then yes. Yes it is.
STATUS: Rack worthy. This game totally deserves a spot on my rack.
Hmm. Yeah, BQB said that was a poorly phrased line and I scoffed at him but now that I hear it out loud…
Oh well. Uncharted 4 is my game of the month for April. If you’ve played it, share your thoughts in the comments and tell me which game you think should be my Game of the Month for May.
Take it easy, 3.5.
Character Profile – Video Game Rack Fighter
REAL NAME: Victoria Gloria Somersby Stratenhaus
CODE NAME: Video Game Rack Fighter
NICKNAME: VGRF
OFFICIAL TITLES: Second in Command of the Bookshelf Battle Blog; Bookshelf Battle’s Video Game Correspondent; World Champion Car Thief Mayhem Player
BIOGRAPHY: Ms.Fighter was born in modest circumstances in West Randomtown, the town next door to East Randomtown, where our noble hero Bookshelf Q. Battler grew up.
She developed an interest in video games at an early age, playing the Atari while still in diapers. Over the years, she mastered all systems, including, but not limited to: Calicovision, the original NES, Sega, Super Nintendo, Game Boy, Nintendo 64, Game Cube, Playstations 1-4, XBox (Original – One).
A she-nerd in a time when nerds were social outcasts, Ms. Fighter preferred the virtual worlds of video gaming to her actual one and often imagined herself as a character in them. She did this so much that she experienced a psychological issue that made her believe the various video game toys she kept on her video game rack were a) alive and b) her friends. She eventually got a grip on reality but from time to time, likes to pretend that her favorite characters are only a call away if she needs them.
Mr. Battler and Ms. Fighter viewed themselves as oddballs and never thought they’d find anyone who’d understand them until they met each other on a quest to find the meaning of life.
They quickly discovered they have a ridiculous amount of things in common. Ms. Fighter is the Assistant to the Assistant of the Vice President of Corporate Assistance at Drying Paint Media, the world’s premiere of videos of paint drying on walls.
Similar to the path taken in life by BQB, Ms. Fighter acquired this position after an ex-boyfriend informed to her that her desire for a job in the video game industry would take her nowhere.
She now resides in Bookshelf Battle Headquarters and is generally considered Second-in-Command of the Bookshelf Battle Blog, often called on to take over when BQB is sick or in the midst of battle with one of his many enemies.
Together, BQB and VGRF work their day jobs, then come home to support one another in their true passions, writing for BQB and video gaming for VGRF.
Ms. Fighter is currently developing an indie game for tablets called “Weasel Catapult.” The object is to fling weasels as far as possible until they finally slap up against a wall to hilarious and comical effect.
Among her many accomplishments, she is the world champion in Car Thief Mayhem, and thus BQB usually just lets her drive.
Random Thoughts
- Is it me, or does WordPress change things around every five seconds? I feel like no two visits to my dashboard are ever the same. File under: nerd problems.
- If you haven’t checked out Undesiredverse: Wanted yet, please do. Give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Tell me if it stinks. Tell me if you like it. Tell me if you think there are dishwasher instruction manuals that could get more sales. I’d love your input, especially the negative kind to help it improve.
- Did I mention you can read it on bookshelfbattle.com or on Wattpad? If you’re on Wattpad, you might find that to be the better experience as all the Chapters are right there whereas they tend to get bumped down on this blog.
- Call of Duty. Halo 5. Fallout 4. Star Wars: Battlefront. I don’t think I’ll see Video Game Rack Fighter again until March:
Video Game Rack Fighter
- I was sorry to hear about Charlie Sheen. There are probably 10,000 jokes that could be made about how this is not surprising but Attorney Donnelly advises me that AIDS jokes have been unacceptable since 1990.
- Alien Jones is still available for Ask the Alien. Come to think of it, he might have one or two questions rolling around to get to. Feel free to ask him yours and if he approves he’ll plug your book/blog.
- Why do people eat pudding? It has all the calories but none of the awesomeness of other desserts. You might as well have had ice cream. Eating pudding for dessert instead of the ice cream in your fridge is like taking your cousin on a date when Charlize Theron really wanted to go with you.
- Sometimes I want to tape fallen leaves back onto trees. It seems like a waste and also a shame the trees are left naked.
- I just invented a time machine. I used it to travel to ten seconds ago to get myself to change the subject and hey look! A hippopotamus in a pink tutu!
- Do you think that because I went back in time and changed the above random musing, that there will be disastrous effects on the world? They say the smallest tinkering with the past can change the future in terrible ways. Still, I can’t help but think that my life would be better now if I go back in time and tell myself to stop picking my nose so much. It would have prevented my deviated septum, the various brain restorative surgeries, and also I might have gotten more chicks. Then again, I might not have met Video Game Rack Fighter. Oh well. I guess I’ll stay a nose picker.
#31ZombieAuthors – Day 16 Interview – Saul Tanpepper – Zombified Video Gaming
FIND THIS ZOMBIE AUTHOR ON:
By: Video Game Rack Fighter, Special Guest Interviewer
Today’s guest on the Bookshelf Battle Blog is Saul Tanpepper, author of the GAMELAND series, a saga set in a world where zombies outfitted with neural implants are controlled by players using video game controllers.
The carnage ensues when a group of computer hackers break into a Long Island turned wasteland and quickly learn there are consequences far beyond the average video game.
Saul, thanks for joining us.
NOTE: BOLD=VGRF; ITALICS=Saul
Q. Zombies turned into video game avatars manipulated by wealthy video game enthusiasts. Just when I thought the world was out of fresh spins on the zombie apocalypse genre, you come up with one. How did you do it?
A. I read Suzanne Collins’s Hunger Games right after it was published and knew that it was going to be a blockbuster and therefore a good literary model to emulate. I’d been thinking about publishing dystopian fiction (not just horror or post-apocalyptic), and since zombies were starting to get hot, and readers were demanding series, I combined the three elements together and came up with the idea for GAMELAND. The original plan was to throw a half dozen young adults into a gaming arcade with the undead for a fight to the finish, but that seemed too much like HG. I made the gaming aspect secondary and went heavier on the post-apocalyptic theme.
Q. I hope you don’t mind if I reveal on this blog that you are, in fact, Dr. Ken J. Howe, a PhD molecular biologist and former Army medic/trauma specialist. (Don’t worry, this site only has 3.5 readers so your secret is safe.) Upon learning this about you, several questions come to my mind, the first being, does your experience and training come in handy as a writer and how so?
A. It’s both helpful and harmful. As a former scientist, I tend to be overly critical about technical accuracy and probabilities, which holds me back from writing anything too outrageous. This applies to the technologies referenced in the GAMELAND series. We already have the capacity to prolong life and it won’t be long before we can reverse cell death. Scientists are also dabbling in neural implantation, so it’s not a great leap to think about implanted zombies. My medical background is a great help when it comes to writing descriptions. Having personally had my hands inside chests, smelled the effects of rotting flesh, assisted with surgeries, I try to relay the physical and emotional impact of those experiences to the reader.
Q. Last I checked, zombies are just figments of our imagination (I hope.) However, as a molecular biologist/former medic, do you have any thoughts on zombie physiology that you could share? Are there any known theories on how, hypothetically speaking, a human could be turned into a zombie or exhibit zombie-ish tendencies?
A. There are some aspects of zombie physiology which the lore currently explains poorly. For example, how do they move and moan when they don’t breathe? Why don’t they rot faster? Why do they prefer brains? Why do they go after only the uninfected? GAMELAND attempts to explain some of these discrepancies.
As far as real-life goes, zombies aren’t that much of a leap, at least if we’re simply talking about brain-dead individuals attacking other people. The bath salt incidents of a couple years back, and any number of drug or hypnosis-induced incidents we’ve seen all resemble zombie-like behavior. If the mind can be so easily manipulated by suggestion or chemicals, it’s not hard to imagine an infectious agent producing a chemical to the same effect.
As far as reanimating the dead, that requires a bit more suspension of disbelief or more faith in the paranormal. Cells tend to break down very rapidly, so unless a person has only very recently died, it’s unlikely the body will have much function. My bets for zombies are on the near-dead or recently-deceased.
Q. How would a real life zombie video game such as the one described in your series work? Will video games ever evolve to the point where people can be controlled with a joystick? (And is that necessarily something we’d want?)
A. Technology already exists to remotely control inanimate objects in virtual reality (think drones, surgery, bomb robots), and game developers have reported early success in being able to manipulate living subjects remotely in the same way as well as with the use of neural stimulation. We are on the cusp of an explosion in VR gaming. Just beyond that horizon is remote controlled live action gaming. I don’t want to say too much about it, because it would seem to make the ideas I developed in GAMELAND appear less groundbreaking, but suffice it to say, I’d be surprised if we aren’t soon forced to ponder the very same moral questions the characters in my books failed to ask themselves when it comes to this subject.
Q. You’re also the author of The Essential Book Blog: The Complete Bibliophile’s Toolkit for Building, Growing and Monetizing Your On-Line Book-Lover’s Community. If you had to give Bookshelf Q. Battler one piece of advice on how to improve his blog, what would it be? (Besides obtain more than 3.5 readers.)
A. You’re doing all the right things — writing to a specific target audience, keeping the material fresh, engaging your readers, and leveraging other people’s fan bases — so that’s a great foundation for growing your blog. It takes time, as you already know. Having a mailing list helps, as does having something to offer your readers. For example, I offer my subscribers a free starter library and often tell them about deals and giveaways before I tell the general public. I include a lot of tips in TEBB on how you can monetize your efforts to help defray any costs and build income. Even utilizing the easiest of the techniques will quickly pay for the cost of the book.
Q. Saul, your expertise has been greatly appreciated. Before I go, do you have any final words of wisdom that might help my friends and I survive the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse?
A: It’s been my pleasure. As far as surviving the Z-poc, my only suggestion is to get yourself a good sturdy toilet plunger (if you’ve read my series, you’ll understand why). That, and a comfortable pair of sneakers. You’ll be doing a lot of running.
BQB’s Zombie Apocalypse Survivor’s Journal – Day 16
“Ms. Fighter! Ms. Fighter! Look!”
Kenny was a red headed, freckle faced boy, about eight years old. He and his friends were, much to VGRF’s dismay, Buildcrafting it up big time.
“I built my very own Roman era city, complete with a working aqueduct!”
“That’s great Ken.”
VGRF leaned in to whisper to me, “I think I’m just going to walk outside and take my chances with the zombies.”
“Looks like they’re already here,” I said, pointing to a dozen kids whose eyes were transfixed on the game. “What is the point of Buildcraft anyway?”
“There is no point,” VGRF said. “It is completely pointless. You just build and build and build some more. UGH! Why won’t you kids go to sleep so I can play Car Thief Mayhem?”
“One might argue that game is equally pointless,” Kenny said. “All you do on Car Thief Mayhem is destroy. At least here, I’m building something.
VGRF’s “I’ve been bested” look was always priceless.
“Shut up and fix your aqueduct, Kenny! Your columns are all crooked!”
Janey, a fourteen year old with a mouthful of braces, nudged Kenny.
“It’s my turn!”
“Fine,” Kenny said as he saved his aqueduct and turned the console over.
Janey popped in a disc marked The Shuffling Living: The Video Game Experience.
The Shuffling Living was the hottest show on television. It followed the adventures of champion zombie hunter Dirk Lane as he and his band of survivors migrated across a zombie infested landscape.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” VGRF said to Janey. “We’re stuck in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and you’re going to play a video game about a zombie apocalypse?”
“It’s still a good video game!” Janey said.
“What do you do?” VGRF asked.
“There’s some stuff somewhere the group needs but its surrounded by zombies so you have to fight them to get to it,” Janey explained.
“Oh,” VGRF said, exercising her inner critic, “So it’s just like every last episode of that show then?”
“Pretty much,” Janey replied.
“You know we used to watch it every Sunday,” I said.
“Used to being the operative words,” VGRF said. “If I never see another zombie again it’ll be too soon.”
VGRF picked up the case for the game Janey was playing.
“Huh. PG13. I guess it’s ok for you then.”
She read on.
“Play as Dirk Lane and eradicate zombies or play as a zombie and feast on human brains!”
My significant other looked at me.
“This is sick! Who’d want to control a zombie in a video game?”
“That’s a good question,” I said as I whipped out the space phone. “And I know who can answer this…”
“Oh my God,” VGRF said as she snatched the phone away from me. “Stop being such a spotlight hog and let me do another interview already!”
Bookshelf Battle 