Warm-Up #3 – Opening Lines


Warm-up #3 – Opening Lines

I will write the first line, you write the rest of the story.

“For as long as Darla could remember, her classmates never cared about the fact that she had a speech impediment due to the fact that her wretched Uncle Ignatius once scared her half to death by dressing up like a monster and jumping out of her closet on Boysenberry Day.”

“Captain Zapadoo hovered his space ship over the flaming wreckage and shouted, ’It should have been me but I’m glad it wasn’t!’”

“Kyle was the kind of guy who liked to play marbles and drink grape soda, so when he saw that someone had stolen his bag of marbles and his supply of grape soda, he became intensely angry.”

“The tension was sticky and creamy, not unlike a soft serve ice cream cone.”

“He was up, he was down, he was all over town but nobody was ever able to stop the Great Lowenberger from stealing onions from Farmer Glenn’s barn.”

“‘We’re going to steal everything that isn’t nailed down,’ Big Louie said to his gang as they entered the discount yoga mat warehouse.”

“It had become increasingly clear to Gloria that no one would ever love her as much as she loved throwing lawn darts at circus folk.”

“There comes a time in a man’s life when he has to stop petting every stray dog he sees and pick one to bring home.”

“It was a setup and it was all Barry’s fault because he was the one playing the flute.”

“The sun burned the horizon a crispy hue of crimson as Dolores hanged a man from the nearest tree for sniffing her under britches without permission.”

“Kincaid was a bad man but Jacoby was worse because he was the only man who had ever stolen a child’s candy while whistling a jaunty tune.”

“The vampire bit into his victim’s neck and was surprised to get a mouth full of rocky road ice cream instead of blood.”

“‘I’ll never take a detour through the desert ever again,’ Detective Jackson said to his partner as he pulled a cactus needle out of his backside.”

“A cool wind blew through Vanessa’s hair as she baked a stromboli and listened to a poorly produced podcast.”

“The mountain touched the sky and Sir Bradenborough had forgotten his backpack.”

“The flames danced in Jenny’s eyes as she thought about happier times, specifically, the day her father had bought her a pony named Xavier.”

“It was an act of sheer, unadulterated chemistry as Becky and Sam reached for the same tube of cold sore medication.”

“‘I’ve been thrown out of better dumps than this,’” Mrs. Broadside mumbled as she grabbed her coat and walked out of the PTA meeting.”

“The mind has its way of playing tricks, and Arlene’s mind was very busy.”

“The pair of castaways had been trapped in a life raft for seventeen days and when they ran out of rations, they couldn’t help but notice how tasty each other looked.”

“The golden treasure gleamed and glistened in the light as Maxwell stared at it longingly.”

“The zombies trudged into Benedict’s room, unaware that their target had snuck under the bed until a rogue fart gave him away.”

“‘We’ll always have Paris,’” Evan said to Stacy as they ran away from one another with their arms flailing to and fro in the breeze.”

“‘Brace for impact!’ the pilot said as he dipped his donut into his coffee and ignored every last button in the cockpit.”

“‘Rules are for suckers,’” Laramie said as he kicked a gnome down the street as if it were a pudgy little pointy hat wearing soccer ball.”

“The tide was low, the sand was wet and Mrs. Honeypepper had once again forgotten her sunscreen.”

“The angels smiled upon Dr. Craig Gadleaf as he bought a bratwurst for a homeless man.”

“Trevor knew his unkind remarks would awake a beast in Stephanie – a creature so dangerous that it could never be put back once it was unleashed.”

“It was not the best, worst, or mediocre of times.”

“The witches stirred their brew and waited for a victim to drink it.”

“The robot clinked and clanked as it walked to deck eleven.”

“Michael rowed the boat ashore but no one was there to shout “Hallelujah” once he arrived.”

“Bill couldn’t stand the scent of aardvark dung and he knew that would be a problem because Dave’s house was full of it.”

“War is hell and Derrick was about to learn that the hard way.”

“The icy shoreline was pristine and had not been trotted upon and many centuries.”

“Pastels were Emma’s favorite colors.”

“A roundhouse kick is not easily planted, but Vonda’s foot connected with her attacker’s stupid face quite easily on that fateful day.”

“‘I object!” Attorney Brestleton shouted as the witness flipped the defendant the middle finger.”

“Memories can be deceptive and as Marlene entered the monastery, she ignored all the sights and sounds around her because for the life of her, she just could not recall whether or not she had left the stove on.”

“Dead men may tell no tales, but it takes a live man to read a book, and the book Jeremy was reading was a real stinker.”

“As Roland plucked exactly fourteen feathers out of a deceased ostrich’s behind, he began to question the decisions he’d made in his life.”

“Audrey was a very unhappy lady and she always let everyone know it.”

“Ten years had passed since the vile Lord Fontlaroo Von Stinkface had conquered the world and no one had cracked a smile or eaten a jelly donut ever since.”

“Nigel ran and ran and ran until he tripped on a rock and fell flat on his face.”

“Mike was about to be arrested by a Canadian Mountie and he was depressed because he had never eaten a shrimp cocktail before.”

“Azkabobalot the Destroyer searched many worlds and when he finally found his victim, he decided to give him a pass.”

“Aunt Edna always wrapped herself up in her favorite shawl whenever there was a lunar eclipse, but no one ever knew why.”

“Alex thought he could stop a train with his mind but he was wrong.”

“The best way to make God laugh is to either tell him your plans or make a silly face in his general direction.”

“Otis hated kale chips as much as he despised Fred’s toupee.”

“It was late summer and the sea bass were jumping when Uncle Clyde jumped off a bridge.”

Tagged , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: