Tag Archives: digital publishing

May 18 2015
38 Comments
Self Publishing

Why “Self or Traditionally Publish?” is a Dumb Question

Bookshelf Q. Battler here.

BQB sounds off.

BQB sounds off.

Self vs. Traditional Publishing – Which route should I take?

For awhile now, I’ve read posts that begin with this very question from a number of bloggers.

Apparently, there’s a lot of folks who feel this is an either/or proposition.

Allow me to provide my take on the issue by posing these questions:

  • Should I continue working a day job or should I put all my time and money into buying and scratching lotto tickets?
  • If a nice woman comes up to me tomorrow and expresses an interest in going out on a date with me, should I take her up on the offer or should I tell her to hit the bricks because Scarlett Johannson might (I repeat “might”) knock on my door and demand my sweet, sweet lovin?
  • If I enjoy telling jokes to people, should I continue telling them or should I wait until I’m cast on Saturday Night Live?
  • If I get a part in a local community theater production, should I take it or should I wait to see if George Clooney calls me to ask me if I’ll take a part in his next film?

What?  You get the point now?  No.  No I don’t think you do.  I think we need some reinforcement here:

  • If I like the way the sun feels on my skin on a nice summer day, should I take a nice stroll on the beach or should I wait to see if the sun will come into my house?
  • If I’m hungry, should I make a sandwich or should I wait and see if Emeril will show up at my door and cook me a three course meal?
  • If, by some God inspired miracle, Scarlett does knock on my door, should I go on a date with her or should I wait and see if Charlize Theron and Katee Sackhoff show up and propose some type of triple arrangement?
  • If the Constitution is somehow altered to make me Supreme Ruler of the United States, should I take the position or wait to see if I’m crowned Emperor of the World?

All right, you get the point.

Yes.  If you’re a new writer and a traditional publisher offers you a legit deal, you should go for it.  But here’s the problem:

  • I’d like to be an astronaut.
  • I’d like to be the leading man in a Hollywood blockbuster movie.
  • I’d like to look like Channing Tatum while having George Clooney’s sophisticated style.
  • I’d like to have a bajillion dollars.
  • I’d like to be King of a Small Island (because to go any bigger is too much of a headache)
  • I’d like to be a pro-athlete.  Football, basketball, hockey, doesn’t matter.
  • I’d like to be date a famous actress.
  • I’d like my face on currency.
  • I’d like to rename the Moon “Bookshelf Q. Battle Orb.”

I’d like to do and/or be all of those things.

The odds of accomplishing them?

About the same as getting your book selected for a big time publishing deal.

OK.  You got me.  There might be some slight exaggeration here.

The Moon will be renamed Bookshelf Q. Battle Orb before I get a publishing deal.

The tech isn’t here that will turn me into an astronaut, football player or a Hollywood leading man.

The tech is here to help me put my writing out into the world.

Here’s my question:  Why does self or traditional publishing have to be an either/or proposition?

Honestly.  It’s like Traditional is my Mom and Self is my Dad and they’re a divorced couple competing for my affection:

ME:  Mom, can I have a book deal?

TRADITIONAL/MOM: Do you think you’re ready, dear?  I don’t really think you’re ready.  By the way, your father is spoiling you and you should hate him as much as I do!

ME:  Dad, can I have a book deal?

SELF/DAD:  Sure!  It’s our special weekend, buddy!  Publish all you want!  Eat cookies for breakfast too!  I don’t care!  It’s up to you! Control your own destiny!  Oh and don’t forget, your mother is a contemptible shrew whose sole purpose in life is to crush your hopes and dreams so stick with me kid!

ME:  ARGH!  Can’t you guys just get along?  Don’t make me choose!  I love you both!

Does self publishing guarantee success?

Well, first off let’s define success.

What’s your goal?

  • Make nothing but be happy just knowing your writing was put out into the universe? (Even if only 3.5 people read it?)
  • Make a little beer money?
  • Make a nice second income?
  • Make enough to support yourself?
  • Make enough to support yourself comfortably?
  • MAKE ENOUGH TO BE ON THE COVER OF FORBES AND HAVE YOUR BOOK TURNED INTO A BLOCKBUSTER AND YOU LAUGH AT ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MADE FUN OF YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL AS YOU WALK THE RED CARPET!  BAH HA HA!  YOU STINK, LOSERS!!!

With little to no effort, you can accomplish the first and second with self publishing.

The rest require work.

Should you get your hopes up?  Should you assume that self publishing will make all your wildest dreams come true?  That it will fill your pockets and turn you into a Hollywood insider?

Of course not.

However, I’m happy that blogging has provided me with 3.5 readers.  If I ever make a few bucks that’d make me happier.  If I earn a second income, that’d be great too.

I’d dance the Texas two-step if, God-willing, this leads me to become a millionaire, but I don’t expect that and you shouldn’t either.

So I guess I don’t understand the argument of “Well, there’s only been a few major self publishing success stories so don’t bother.”

Amanda Hocking and Hugh Howey have some fabulous stories, but people who make a few extra bucks and get to enjoy doing what they love?  That’s certainly a form of success too.  It might be a low level success, but if it makes you happy, then it makes you happy.

I don’t understand this all or nothing “if you don’t get a guarantee that your book will become a blockbuster then why bother” attitude.

Self-publishing isn’t a free ride, but it offers you something that the traditional world doesn’t:

A shot.

You’ll still need to work hard.  You’ll need to build your platform, reach out and obtain an audience, build a mailing list, and, above all else, write and publish a quality product.

And even then, you might and/or most likely won’t become a household name but a) hopefully you’re happy with the above discussed lesser forms of success and if you aren’t then b) at least you gave it a shot.

The traditional publishing world, more likely than not, will be closed to you.  The self-publishing door is open.  The readers inside that world may or may not be interested, but why not give it a go?

Meanwhile, if you get a traditional contract that’s great.  You should always explore your options.  Polish your work. Query agents.  Seek that traditional deal.

I’m not here to knock traditional publishing.  “Famous writer” is a highly sought after job.  Many people want it.  Traditional publishers and agents are bombarded with author queries all day long.  They only have so much time to take on so many projects.  They can’t please everyone.

Agents and publishers have to go with the projects they think will work best for them.  They’re in a business. That’s all there is to it.  Don’t take it personally.  Don’t hate on others who’ve “won the publishing lottery.”  Other people doing well does not make you do poorly.

Wait a minute, BQB.  What if I start self-publishing my work and then traditional publishing knocks on my door with a better deal?  What then?  Bet you didn’t think of that smart guy.

I did.  Let me ask you:

  • If I make that baloney sandwich and then Emeril DOES knock on my door with a fresh snappy lobster to cook for me, should I slam the door in his face or just put the sandwich in a ziplock bag and save it for later?
  • If that nice woman from before turns out to be a weirdo who wants to bedazzle all my shirts with cat designs and lock me in her crawlspace, should I keep seeing her if Scarlett DOES ask me out?
  • If I do scratch that winning lottery ticket, am I required to keep working a day job and therefore must never spend my newfound millions on world travel and chalices to eat my cereal out of?

In short, if that traditional publishing miracle deal does happen, you can always shift gears to embrace it.

But BQB, if the traditional publishing world isn’t interested in my work, what do I do?”

Well, let me answer that question with these questions:

  • If that non-famous woman who was interested in me (see above) dumps me after a few dates, should I lock myself in my bedroom and listen to James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful on a continuous loop or should I get back on the proverbial horse and ask another woman out?
  • If I can’t find the ingredients to make a sandwich in my kitchen, should I just go hungry or should I go buy some bread and baloney?
  • If I scratch two cherries on my lotto ticket and a lousy lemon on my third square scratch, should I go to work tomorrow?
  • If my car breaks down, should I buy another one I can afford or should I just walk everywhere in the hopes that one day I’ll win one on a game show?

I think you get the point.

Let’s come together and be friends, traditional and self publishing worlds.

At the end of the day, we all want the same thing.

To rename the Moon the “Bookshelf Q. Battle Orb.”

Oh and success.  Lots of success.

Don’t make me choose.  There’s plenty of Bookshelf Q. Battler to go around.

Nerd with a bullhorn image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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May 14 2015
6 Comments
BQB and the Meaning of Life

Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life – An Introduction

FROM THE DESK OF BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER

World Renowned Poindexter, Reviewer of Books, Movies and Cultural Happenings, Champion Yeti Fighter, Blogger-In-Chief of the Bookshelf Battle Blog

It’s finally here!

BQB and the Meaning of Life starts tomorrow!

BQB and the Meaning of Life starts tomorrow!

Tomorrow, my serial story, Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life begins.  I hope you’ll join me every day for a new bite sized hunk of prose designed to fit easily into your busy schedules.

(People who aren’t busy?  Feel free to read it twice!)

What is the meaning of life?

Read the story and find out.  In this post, I’d rather answer:

Why did I write this story?

From an early age, I wanted to be a writer.  Perhaps you’ve read my first novel, “Attack of the Killer Mutant Fish,” a valiant attempt for a ten year old.

Then I grew up, entered into the real world and decided a career as a writer was an unlikely outcome.  I wouldn’t consider “lottery winner” as a viable career option so why would I put untold amounts of time, money and effort into preparing a manuscript just so it could be filed in the traditional publishing world’s proverbial slush pile?

Let me put it this way.  If you want the “break into traditional publishing” experience, just pay a transient hobo fifty bucks to give you a kick in the nether regions.  You’ll spend less time, effort and money for a similar result.

DISCLAIMER:  The Bookshelf Battle Blog does not recommend you pay a transient hobo to kick you in the nether regions.

I settled into a humdrum lifestyle and though I’m blessed in many ways, I often wonder “what if?”

What if I had kept up with my dream of becoming a writer?  Would I have made it?  Would I have become a household name with my books on everyone’s shelves?

Flashforward to last year.  In March of 2014 I, Bookshelf Q. Battler was drowning my sorrows at Taco Bell (Mmmm…burritos) when it dawned on me:

Stop wishing you’d been a writer. You aren’t old. You aren’t dead. The technology exists. If you want to be a writer, then be a writer.

And with that, I became a writer again.

Now I just need some readers.

Perhaps you’ve heard I have 3.5 of them.  That’s a good start, but I’d like to make it 3.5 million.

Either way Aunt Gertie will be one of them.

I’ve always looked at platform building as a slow war of attrition, a numbers game that crawls at a turtle’s pace.

A couple of blog followers today.  A handful of twitter followers tomorrow.  A few drops in the bucket everyday will eventually lead to a nice full pail.

This summer, I’m going to attempt to fill a lake.

For the past few months, I’ve been working on two projects:

1)  Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life – it will begin tomorrow.

2)  Project X – Still not ready to give you the title, but rest assured of its awesomeness.

These serials will alternate.  It will be BQB for awhile, then Project X, then they will continue on a rotation all summer.

My goal is to leave you wanting more.

For a nerd with a busy lifestyle, it is hard to find time to cram this work in.  Much of it is done late at night, often leaving me exhausted and wondering if it’s worth it.

It’s my dream.  Of course it’s worth it.

Welcome to the Summer of Bookshelf, where I’ll hone my craft, entertain and inspire you, and ask that you give me your honest feedback about how I can improve.

Goals for the future?  This summer will lead to an expanded audience, I finish up a Fall/Winter’s worth of posts thus completing the “One Post a Day for a Year Challenge” and a fire in my belly gets stoked to the point where I’ll make an honest effort to enter the ebook market in 2016.

I’ve always been a results oriented kind of guy.  The more I see coming in, the more effort I’ll put out.

But why a story about a nerd with a magic bookshelf?

Because I am a nerd with a magic bookshelf.

Last year, it was hard coming up with a theme for a book blog.  There are so many of them.  I wanted to be unique.

It came to mind that maybe I’d be the nerd who’d pose his books next to his toy collection:

Master Chief - standing guard over Redshirts

Master Chief – standing guard over Redshirts

And from the outset, the theme was that “the books themselves” were fighting one another for limited shelf space:

Ye, addeth to the Great Scrolls of the Bookshelf Battle, that on March 12, 2014, the Bookshelf Battle did begin.

Since the invention of the printing press, books have been battling for spots on shelves all over the globe. With limited shelf space, available competition can be fierce. Recently, I remodeled my office and added a brand new bookcase. Now I must fill it with brand new books. Join me as I review the latest bestsellers of the day, with the occasional classic thrown in.

Which books will be deemed worthy of being on my shelf? Tune in every week to find out.

– First post on the Bookshelf Battle Blog in 2014

But as the one post a day challenge took over this year, the idea of anthropomorphic books fighting in a reckless manor seemed silly, whereas the concept that small characters could exit the books and go to war against each other over limited shelf space seemed much more reasonable.

Hey, it seems more reasonable to me, anyway.

Meanwhile, I went from being a random blogger to becoming Bookshelf Q. Battler, Owner of the Magic Bookshelf, Caretaker of a Bunch of Tiny and Unruly Book Characters, Proprietor of a Blog with 3.5 Readers, Lord of Bookshelf Battle Headquarters, Master of Bookshelf Q. Battle Dog, Sworn Enemy of The Yeti, and Colleague of Alien Jones.

In other words, the excitement in my life has grown exponentially over the past year, all thanks to this blog.

So to finally answer the question of “Why did I write this story?”

Over the past year, we’ve seen this blog morph from one geek’s hobby to a character based online world.

Did you ever watch Pee-Wee’s Playhouse as a kid?  You know, before Paul Reubens’ total disgrace?

(I mean, holy crap, I know that computers weren’t all that big back then but didn’t the guy own a VCR?)

Do you remember how Pee-Wee would waltz into his playhouse and talk to his viewers with the help of various characters?

That’s kind of how I see the Bookshelf Battle Blog – one nerdy character (i.e. Bookshelf Q. Battler) surrounded by other nerdy characters (Alien Jones and The Yeti), with the following exceptions:

1) This blog’s geared toward adult nerds who love books, TV, movies and popular culture.

2)  Oddly enough, it also has a second audience in the tweed wearing literary chin stroker community as I do often discuss the classics.

3)  It’s a bit more high-brow than Pee Wee, though I guess that’s not saying much.

4)  There’s none of…well, you know what Pee Wee did.  (Hey, why’s everyone leaving?  Weirdos).

This story will pull the blog together, entertain the 3.5 readers who’ve been following along so far, and eventually serve as an explanation to those who will wonder what this blog is all about tomorrow.

Tomorrow – that legendary day when I will have a whopping 11.7 readers.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

Good times are ahead.  Comment on the stories.  Tell me what you liked.  Tell me what you didn’t.  Ask questions.  Provide criticism.  I have a thick skin.  I live with a Yeti that hates me.

Come back tomorrow and join in the fun!

Sincerely,

Bookshelf Q. Battler

Copyright (c) Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Nerd on top of the world image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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May 14 2015
3 Comments
Project X

Betsy

NAME:  Betsy

Betsy

Betsy

PURPOSE:  Hatcher’s WWII Service Revolver

MAKE/MODEL:  Schotzenhauer P58

NAZIS TERMINATED: 1,000 + (Hatcher stopped counting after 1,000)

MOBSTERS DISPATCHED: 751 (Hatcher took it easy after returning stateside)

SHOTS MISSED: 0

Betsy – she has few lines in the upcoming unnamed blog serial, but when she talks, it counts.

Coming soon to a blog with 3.5 readers near you.

Image courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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May 10 2015
3 Comments
Ask the Alien

Ask the Alien – The Mighty Potentate Speaks, Love Advice

A MEMO FROM THE MIGHTY POTENTATE (Alien Jones’ Boss)

RE:  Insignificant Humans Who Dare Bask in My Presence

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY POTENTATE!

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY POTENTATE!

Alien Jones!  A human has dared speak to me, the Supreme Overlord of our planet, the name of which I forbid Earthlings to hear, lest they molest my eye receptacles with their hideous reality programming.  Dispatch my answers to his inquiries posthaste!

WIKZI writes:

Dear Mighty Potentate: Although I am one of the puny humans you so despise, I thought you might want to know that, A) I have never participated in, nor plan on participating in, the creation and/or distribution of reality television programs, earth-based or otherwise.

MIGHTY POTENTATE:  You are one of the good ones.  However, the key question is not “have you” but “would you?”  If given a low budget and a time slot on the public airwaves, would you fill it with “Trashy Housewives of Atlanta” or “Monkey Doctor Adventures?”  What about “Supermodel Mudwrestling 4 Cash” or “Plumber Intervention.”

It’s nice that you have not nor plan to, but hopefully you KNOW you never will have anything to do with reality television.

WIKZI: B) as I am now following this blog, your 3.5-person readership has now been upgraded to 4.5 (who the hell is the .5 anyway, I feel sorry for him/her/it. What a loser!). No idea why you chose to grace my insignificant little corner o’ the blogosphere with your August Presence, but know this: I WILL BE WATCHING YOU. Please continue checking my blog at https://graylog.wordpress.com/ for more stories, some related to aliens and some, urm, not. Thank you!

MIGHTY POTENTATE:  Confused human!  I have no need for bloggery.  If I want my thoughts to be in your mind, I’ll just beam them there and make you think you thought them.  But thank you for following Bookshelf Q. Battler’s blog.  I have identified him as the one human whose wit and wisdom can save the universe from the scourge of reality television, thus dispatching my lackey, Alien Jones, to assist him.

As the ruler of PLANET NAME REDACTED, I order all puny humans to visit Wikzi’s Blog. (The Graylog)

ALIEN JONES here.  Thank you, oh Mightiest of Potentates, for gracing us with your presence.  The next human to make inquiries was Gary Henry aka @LiteraryGary:

So is the Alien actually going to offer advice to the lovelorn and confused?

Sir, I am under direct orders from the Mighty Potentate to answer all questions posed using the infinite knowledge of my highly evolved brain.  That being said, if you check out this file photo of yours truly, you’ll realize I’m missing something that one would need to be considered an expert on love:

shutterstock_120849016

I meant there’s no ring on my finger.  What were you thinking of?  Weirdo.

Having said that, I’ve generally found that most inter-human love quarrels can be solved by the male nodding at the female at regular intervals, throwing out the occasional, “Oh no she did-ent!” or “Girl, you so right!”

Meanwhile, statements such as “Madam, you are incorrect and the following is a logical and highly rational argument as to why” will result in the female attacking with the force of a rabid wolverine upon being cornered.

Apparently, I’m not the only one in the indie blog Q+A game. Henry’s blog, “Honest Indie Book Reviews” features a column called “Ask Vlad the Impaler.”

Perhaps not so surprisingly, most of Vlad’s advice involves someone getting impaled.  Old “One Track Mind” Vlad.

Oh, and Bookshelf Q. Battler’s attorney demands I note that the Bookshelf Battle Blog does not endorse impalement.

Good Ole Henry – the indie world needs more supporters like this human.

On that note, I must take my leave, for I am attending a gala on Ronosplat 15.  It’s so fancy it requires pants.

Pretentious, if you ask me.

Alien Jones is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle Blog. Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One? Submit it to Bookshelf Q. Battler via a tweet to @bookshelfbattle, leave it in the comment section on this site, or drop it off on the Bookshelf Battle Google + page. If AJ likes your question, he might promote your book, blog, or other project while providing his answer.

Submit your questions by midnight Friday each week for a chance to be featured in his Sunday column. And if you don’t like his response, just let him know and he’ll file it into the recycling bin of his monolithic super computer. No muss, no fuss, no problem.

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May 08 2015
1 Comment
Summer of Bookshelf

Project X – A Sneak Peak

Coming to the Bookshelf Battle Blog June 1, a serial so cool that Bookshelf Q. Battler is holding back on the title for now…

Hatcher and Betsy

Hatcher and Betsy

Meet Jake Hatcher.  He’s a 1950’s era hardboiled private detective in the tradition of Sam Spade or Phillip Marlowe.  Film noir fans rejoice.

He isn’t just any old gumshoe.  With the help of his trusty service revolver Betsy, he dispatched numerous Nazis during World War II and was even involved in a mission so secret that it can’t be discussed just yet, even on a blog that only has 3.5 readers.

After the fall of the Third Reich, Hatcher became a bur in the britches of LA’s criminal underworld, feeding Betsy a steady diet of wiseguys to replace the agents of Der Fuhrer that she’d grown accustomed to.

The twist?  One night in 1955, Hatcher fell asleep in his office desk chair.  When he woke up, it was 2014.  For the past year, he’s been aimlessly wandering the streets of the City of Angels, desperately trying to figure out how he lost 59 years and if there’s a way to get back to his own time.

Mysterious Blonde Dame

Mysterious Blonde Dame

This summer, a mysterious blonde dame will walk into Hatcher’s life on the finest pair of getaway sticks this side of the Rio Grande.  This femme fatale claims she can help our hero figure out how he lost 59 years.  She even says she can help him return to his own era.

But he’s going to have to jump through a lot of hoops first.

Mysteries are afoot in modern times and Hatcher needs to dust off his sleuthing skills and get to work.

What kind of mysteries?  BQB will get back to you on that one.

Is this dame on the level or is Hatcher being played like a harpsichord?

Only time will tell…and the catch?

You’ll have to help him.

Yes, there will be some reader interactivity and of course, Bookshelf Q. Battler’s unique brand of humor will be present throughout.  Even so, this new feature will be an interesting diversion from BQB’s usual schtick.

For now, the owner of the magic bookshelf is keeping a lot under his hat.  He’s pretty proud of this one and hopes you will be too.

Your loyal blog host has been working his behind off for the past few months, getting “The Summer of Bookshelf” serial extravaganza together.

Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life begins on May 15.  The “Named to Be Announced Later” Project X starts June 1. Throughout the summer, these two serials will run up against one another.  You’ll have BQB and the Meaning of Life for a week or so, then Project X for a while, then they’ll switch back in forth that way until the end of the summer.

For your reading pleasure, these stories have been serialized into daily chunks, easily consumed without taking too much time from your busy schedules.

So take BQB’s hand 3.5 readers and get ready for what will prove to be an awesome summer to say the least.

Copyright Bookshelf Q. Battler 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Detective and blonde woman photos courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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May 05 2015
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Ask the Alien

Alien Jones – Taking Your Questions

The Intergalactic Space Force is a pants optional organization.

The Intergalactic Space Force is a pants optional organization.

He’s small.  He’s smart.

He literally has no need for pants.

He’s Alien Jones and he’s taking your questions right here on the Bookshelf Battle Blog.

How did the universe begin?

Why are we here?

What does the future hold in store for us?

Is there a Burger Queen or does the Burger King lead an incredibly lonely life?

No question is too big or too small for the Esteemed Brainy One to answer.

Heck, he might even plug your book, blog or other writing project in his “Ask the Alien” column, a semi-regular feature on bookshelfbattle.com

And you don’t even need to be a published scribe with something to promote to consult the knowledge of He of the Great Gray Matter.

Submit your questions to Bookshelf Q. Battler, Owner and Proprietor of this blog.  You can do so through a tweet to @bookshelfbattle, or drop it in the comments on this site, or stop by BQB’s Google Plus Page:

https://plus.google.com/+BookshelfBattleblog

All inquiries will be forwarded to Alien Jones’ spaceship and he will get to them when he isn’t busy fighting the dastardly Moloklaxons (Officially Branded as the A-Holes of the Universe).

Alien photo courtesy of a shutterstock.com license.

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Apr 30 2015
1 Comment
Self Publishing

How Self Publishing Gave Me the Motivation to Write Again

Hey 3.5 Readers,1371251154-2

Bookshelf Q. Battler here.

Many years ago, when I was a young BQB, I gave up on writing.  Sometimes I wish I hadn’t.  Other times I understand why I had to.  My position on the subject changes with whatever mood you happen to find me in.

I quit because the motivation factor just wasn’t there.  To develop a quality piece of writing takes so much time, energy and effort and the payout?  Well, let’s just say the likelihood of winning that coveted traditional publishing contract deal seemed akin to my chances of winning the lottery.

So I pursued an average life instead and in many respects, I can’t complain.  However, the rise of the self-publishing industry has really provided me with the motivation I need to pick up my pencil again.

Today’s technology has given rise to an emerging self-publishing industry.  From the comfort of their own homes, people are putting out books that rival what major publishing houses are putting out.  If you’re willing to put the work in, you can build a platform, develop an audience, seek out the assistance of editors and artists, and get your work into the hands of readers.

That just wasn’t an option ten years ago.  I wish it had been.  Those were the days when little was impossible for a plucky young BQB as long as he had a can of Red Bull.

Three guys who are kicking ass and taking names in the self-publishing game?  Johnny B. Truant, Sean Platt, and David Wright aka Johnny, Sean and Dave of “The Self Publishing Podcast” – check it out at selfpublishingpodcast.com (they’re available on iTunes).

I’ve learned so much from their book “Write.  Publish. Repeat” and from listening to their show.

The upside of self-publishing?  You’re in control.  Your success does not hinge on being one of the beautiful people who can charm an agent or a publisher into swinging open the gate to the Castle of Success for you.

The downside? Same as the upside.  You’re in control.  You need to figure out how to hire an editor, how to hire a cover artist, how to build a platform, how to promote yourself and more.  Johnny, Sean, and Dave put that info out there in a fun (and often hilarious) format.

To spend all my free time writing a novel when the only chance of its publication rests on me being the needle in a haystack picked up by an agent?  It just seemed like a waste.

But now that technology has put our writing  careers in our own hands?  Sign me up.

At this early stage, I have no idea if I’ll ever make it, but the self publishing industry has at the very least resurrected my dream, one I gladly work on whenever I get a rare free moment these days.

Bravo on your third anniversary of podcasting, Johnny Sean and Dave.  They did a special primetime show this evening and it was a blast to watch them work their magic live.

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Apr 30 2015
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Self Publishing

Self Publishing Podcast in Primetime

Johnny Sean and Dave doing a special 8:00 pm primetime live show in honor of their three year anniversary.

They did not get each other flowers.

Check it out.  They’re on now:

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Apr 25 2015
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Self Publishing

Self Publishing Podcast Interview of Andy Weir – Author of “The Martian”

Let’s face it.

We all say, “oh, I’m just in it for the art!” but deep down, we all secretly hope, dream and fantasize that The_Martian_2014one day our writing will be embraced by the masses, a big pile of money will be dumped on our heads, and our work will be read by everyone and turned into a Hollywood movie!

Well, as it turns out, that happened for Andy Weir, author of The Martian.

Andy was on the Self Publishing Podcast this week with “Johnny, Sean and Dave” aka Johnny B. Truant, Sean Platt and David W. Wright.

Keep one thing in mind, aspiring scribes – success in the writing game doesn’t happen overnight.

Andy discussed how he’s been at it for years – that he’s been blogging since the early 2000’s, how he spent a long time seeking a traditional publishing deal with no success, that initially wrote “The Martian” as a serial on his blog, that his followers urged him to turn said serial into an ebook on Amazon and boom, it took off.  Now he’s a highly successful author and a movie based on his book starring Matt Damon is scheduled for release at the end of this year.

The important thing to note?  Yes, some people are very lucky and see those doors to success swing wide open for them early on.  And good for them.  Others, like Andy, had to painstakingly climb that ladder one rung at a time.

After hearing his story, I can’t think of someone more deserving.  He really put his work in and earned his success.

As always, Johnny, Sean and Dave bringing us a great show.  And they didn’t even veer off topic this time!

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Apr 24 2015
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Game of Yetis

Game of Yetis – Part 6 – House Alien

Previously on Game of Yetis:

PART 1 – House Bookshelf – Lord BQB hides out from the War for the Iron Throne, coming up with various excuses as to why he’s been unable to assist various claimants to the throne all the while positioning himself to declare allegiance to whoever emerges as the victor. Alas, a complication in his plan arises when a band of Yetis under the control of Lord Yeti abscond with his supplies of snacks and Dew of the Mountain.

PART 2 – House Yeti – Lord Yeti of House Yeti, the ruler of Yetifell, a territory North of the Wall, where abominable snowmen love to frolic because it is ridiculous cold, mocks his son Yetyrion, calling him a dwarf because he is 6’5″ (which is really short for a Yeti).

PART 3 – House Bookshelf – The usually not so easily rattled Lord BQB is enraged when he discovers that his supply of Special Edition Code Red Dew of the Mountain has been stolen by dirty yetis in the employ of Lord Yeti of House Yeti. Unable to purchase an army of eunuchs because Daenerys Stormborn bogarted them all, he turns to his trusty banner men. Alas, they were only in it for the Dew of the Mountain and now Lord BQB must fight this battle alone.

PART 4 – House Yeti – Lord Yeti is aghast when he spies white walkers on their way to Yetifell.

Part 5 – House Bookshelf – Lord BQB takes it easy as his elderly lackey, the decrepit Maester Monty pulls his master across the countryside all the way to Riverrun, the land of House Tully.  Along the way, Lord BQB confides in Monty that he has long dreamed he would one day meet an enormous warrior woman, one capable of providing him with love and vanquishing his enemies.  Lord BQB refuses to take a wife until he meets such a lady.

And now Game of Yetis continues…

Across the Narrow Sea, a tiny being walked through the marketplace, his face obscured by a weathered cloth hood.  He was weary from a long voyage and his feet ached for rest.  He took a seat inside a tavern and ordered an ale.

“Hey!”

The small figure ignored the brooding hulk who, despite without so much as an invention, took a chair across the little one’s table.

“Hey half-man!”  the brute said.  “Take off your hood!”

The small being refused to look up.  Instead, he sighed the sigh of a creature who, on a daily was forced to realize that the burden of being the smartest one in the room would always belong to him.

“You deaf or something?”  the man said.  “Take off your hood or I’ll cut it off for you along with your head!  Queen Cersei’s put out a hefty reward for her brother the imp’s head and I’ll be damned if you aren’t just about Lord Tyrion’s size!”

Seeing that it was pointless to wait for the little one to comply, the man reached a big burly hand across the table, intent on pulling the hood off.  Just then, quicker than a flash of lighting, the small one threw off his cloak, withdrew a laser blaster, and incinerated the intruder until there was nothing left but a pile of ash.

The last thing the would-be bounty hunter saw?  The face of an alien – two almond shaped eyes and a ginormous cranium.

“Gadzooks,” the alien said.  “It’s getting so that a highly evolved being can’t even have a drink in peace around here.

The alien ran a three-fingered hand over his wine glass and sucked the wine particles into the air and up into his pores.

“Aww,”  the alien said as he emitted an obnoxious burp.  “That is, how I believe they say on this primitive planet, ‘the good shit.'”

“Caw!  Caw!”

A raven landed on the table carrying a scroll in its beak.  The messenger bird dropped it on the table but refused to leave.

“Thank you,”  the alien said.  “You may go now.”

“Caw!  Caw!  Tip!  Caw!”

The alien wished he had the type of eyes that could roll.

“Here’s a tip,”  he said as he pointed a finger to his laser blaster.  “Flap your wings outta this joint before I put fried raven on the menu!”

“Caw!  Caw!  Cheap ass!  Caw!”

And with that, the raven skeedaddled out the window, leaving the alien to unravel the parchment across the table.

It read:

LORD BOOKSHELF Q. BATTLER:  Salutations, Lord Alien of House Jones!  This week’s “Ask the Alien” question comes from Mereen!

@DothrakiDragonMama4Eva tweeted:

“Alien Jones – how u trn dragnz?  Helps!  LOLZ!”

Lord Alien put his cloak back on, left the barkeep a coin for the wine and another for the ashy mess he left and exited the establishment.

This was a question that required a house call.

Sigil of House Jones

Alien Jones (aka Lord Alien of House Jones) is the Intergalactic Correspondent for the Bookshelf Battle Blog, on a mission to raise Earth’s collective intelligence levels one question at a time.  Do you have a question for the Esteemed Brainy One?  Tweet it to @bookshelfbattle on Twitter, leave it in the comments on bookshelfbattle.com, or stop by Bookshelf Battle on Google Plus.  If he likes your question, he might even promote your book, blog, other project in his answer.

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