Oh those irascible fish and their wacky shenanigans.
I’m not really going to do an in-depth review, other than to say I liked it. I remember seeing the first one, back when I was young and you know, still believed in shit.
The Pixar technology was still relatively new and therefore impressive because people hadn’t seen that much of it at the time.
It is a big undertaking to do a sequel to a perfect classic but sure enough, Disney/Pixar made a worthy sequel. It’s touching, funny and without offering a spoiler, there’s a part in it I found pretty hilarious.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
Dear God,
BQB here.
First, let me just say I’m a big fan of your work. Big fan. I mean, the Grand Canyon? Am I right or am I right?
Anyway, I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job. God knows, or rather, you know that you don’t start telling me how to run a blog with 3.5 readers or anything.
It just seems to me that with the shooting of Voice singer Christina Grimmie last Friday night, followed by the shooting of 50 people at the Pulse night club, that…
You probably could have done the city a solid and stopped that alligator from dragging that two year kid away and killing it at Disney World.
I get it. I get it. You’re a hands-off, laissez faire kind of guy.
You’re kicking back up there on a cloud, probably got a strawberry daiquiri because it’s not like you have to watch your weight or work out or anything.
You’re watching us all as if we’re one giant reality television show. I can only assume that heaven is one hip, swinging club and by our actions on Earth you judge who makes the cut and who has to stand behind the rope.
But seriously. Come on.
They say you never give people more than they can handle but, and again, I don’t mean to tell you your business here, all you needed to have done was smite that alligator and a lot of grief could have been spared for a lot of people.
Holy shit. Just imagine it. You and your family go to Disney World. You’re all bee-bopping along having a good time and “Fuck! An alligator ate my baby!”
By the way, the problem with the Internet is there are all kinds of theories without facts.
Some people blame the parents.
I have no idea what the situation was. In theory, yeah, if you let your kid run around and you’re oblivious and taking a nap or whatever then yeah you’ve doomed your child.
But if you’re just hanging out in he happiest place on earth on a nice sunny day and HOLY FUCK! AN ALLIGATOR JUST GRABBED MY KID! – Really, what are you supposed to do?
Who could ever see that coming?
Yeah. I don’t know what a parent can do. It is, pardon my French, but it is…a fucking alligator.
If I had a kid, I would surely attempt to wrestle that alligator but what am I going to do? It’s a giant descendant of the dinosaurs and has a mouth full of razor sharp teeth that closes like a steel trap.
What is a parent to do? Box the alligator? People need to chill out and not be so judgmental.
There’s nothing that can be done unless you’re Australian. All Australians are born with an innate ability to wrestle alligators. That’s just science.
And you can’t argue with science.
One or two of you 3.5 readers will think I’m making light of this terrible situation but I really am not.
I really, truly, sincerely feel terrible, both for this child lost too soon and for the child’s family who went through something no one should have to experience.
I am, in a polite manner, just inquiring why God couldn’t have intervened here and sent that alligator back into the water, thus sparing so much grief and sadness and pain for so many people.
If I’m making light of anything, it is the horrendous state of the world we live in, when people can’t go to a park dedicated to a cartoon mouse and a) not have to worry about alligators absconding with their children and b) not have to worry about getting shot because, yeah, if you missed it on the news, the terrorist did case Disney World previously.
Finally God, I know you like to stay on the sidelines and not get involved (God, er you know you haven’t intervened much on my behalf despite numerous and often pathetic teary eyed pleadings) we’re really going to need you to make an official ruling on something.
Could you take like 15 minutes out of your busy schedule and just go on one of these talking head cable news channel pundit shows – pick any one of them, any one of them at all, and just be a guest and announce once and for all that you don’t want people shooting, killing, stabbing or otherwise doing heinous shit in your name.
I feel like it could help out a lot.
But seriously dude. You really could have stopped that damn alligator.
Hey, what can I say though really? Could I do a better job at Godding? Probably not. Not unless I’ve walked a mile in your sandals. So no, I’m not going to be a pain in the ass and nag you about this all the time.
It’s just a learning lesson really. A teachable moment. You sense an alligator is about to eat a kid and you snap your Godly fingers and boom the alligator gets a bad case of diarrhea and makes a mad dash back in the water.
Thanks God. And, I’m totally not asking or anything but if you wanted to toss 20 or 30.5 extra readers my way, I would not complain at all.
Your humble servant, dedicated to singing your praises on a blog with 3.5 readers,
BQB
TechInsider reporting that 6 Star Wars films will be out by the end of 2020.
Movies include sequels in the ongoing line (i.e. what Rey and friends are up to next), Rogue One, a spinoff about young Han Solo, a spinoff about Boba Fett.
What do you think, 3.5 readers?
My first concern is I wonder if Star Wars’ success hasn’t been a case of “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
When I was a young adult, I cheered for the prequels because I was just happy to see lightsabers on screen again. Years later I look back and realize that yeah, those movies sucked. Revenge of the Sith wasn’t bad though.
But I wonder if maybe the time between film releases helps us to love these movies more.
Maybe too many will cause us to lose interest. Like that love interest you’re pining for, you want her so bad but once you get her you realize there’s a person in your house cutting her fingernails everywhere. Yet when she goes away you want her back.
Then again, Marvel has been riding high on since 2008 when the first Iron Man was released. Disney’s purchase of and oversight of Marvel has made those movies a success and to date, I have not grown tired of them despite there having been so many of them.
Iron Man 3 was the only stinker, in my opinion but hey in all those movies, one dud is inevitable.
So maybe Disney can keep Star Wars coming and keep us riveted. They seem to know what it takes to keep the kids happy and buying merchandise and keep the adults from complaining that the film hasn’t become too cutesy.
By: Some Random Jerkface, BQB’s Editorial Assistant
Hello 3.5 readers. Some Random Jerkface here. While BQB was mired in the East Randomtown Zombie Apocalypse, yours truly was living it up in sunny Florida.
So in Orlando, there’s Walt Disney World and its unruly upstart rival, Universal Studios.
Who puts on the better Halloween shindig?
Probably all depends on who your are and your personal preference.
MICKEY’S NOT SO SCARY HALLOWEEN PARTY
Yeah. They aren’t lying about that not so scary party part. They pretty much take the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume and whip a Halloween costume over his mouse costume.
Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that. After all, it’s Walt Disney World. Of course Mickey isn’t going to be scary. If you have ragamuffins, this is where to take them on Halloween.
Maleficient is a little scarier:
Meanwhile if you ever go on a Disney Cruise, you might spot Jack Sparrow, up high:
Or down low:
However, if you’re sans ragamuffins and want the ever loving crap scared out of you, Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights is the place you want to be.
Disney has Mickey in a Halloween costume. UHHN has Jack, a damn murderous psychopathic clown:
He brings up “spectators” on stage to be maimed and/or murdered in his show, the Carnival of Carnage.
SPOILER ALERT: I’m pretty sure she’s just an actor pretending to be one of Jack’s victims. Still, if you see Jack walking down the street, you might want to beat feat in the opposite direction just to be safe.
Oh and don’t forget his hot she-clown girlfriend, Chance:
Yeah, she’s a total Harley Quinn ripoff but she was funny just the same. Jack and Chance know how to work a crowd, or work it over, as the case may be:
But try to stay off the stage:
For the Bookshelf Battle Blog, this has been Some Random Jerkface
Tomorowland…
OR
Disney makes its own version of a Jason Bourne conspiracy thriller. (PG of course)
Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of a movie all dreamers will want to see.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
Movieclips Trailers – Tomorrowland – 2015
At the outset, this is a tough flick to review, 3.5 readers.
So much time is spent in the first half of the film building up the suspense (or “showing not telling” as we nerdy writer geeks might say, that I have to tread lightly lest I give the whole story away.
Tomorrowland is a magical place where artists, scientists, and assorted geniuses are allowed to brainstorm freely.
It’s also hidden from our reality, thus allowing freethinkers to do their thing without having their work abused by greedy business suits, corrupt politicians, or vengeful dictators.
In other words, it’s proof that the world could be a wonderful place if the best and the brightest were allowed to do their work for good instead of evil.
(So yeah, basically it really is a fantasy.)
As a boy in the 1960’s, Frank Walker (Thomas Robinson) is recruited by a girl named Athena (Raffey Cassidy) to visit this wonderful world. Everyone in the 1960’s version of Tomorrowland looks like an actual 1960’s person, thus leaving this reviewer to wonder if this wasn’t Disney’s attempt to poke fun at that old joke of, “Disney World gives us a glimpse of what the future will look like according to someone from the 1960’s.”
Flashforward to present day and Frank Walker, now played by George Clooney, is a grumpy recluse, displeased that he was ever offered a glimpse of a world he’s grown too jaded to believe could ever be possible.
Meanwhile, teenager Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) hasn’t given up hope for a better tomorrow yet. She lives in Florida with her father (played by country singer Tim McGraw), a NASA engineer and despite his objections, she gets in trouble whilst trying to prevent a NASA launch pad from being torn down.
(Or in other words, Disney’s not-so-subtle plea for the government to not abandon the space program, which this nerd agrees with, but that’s a whole other conversation.)
Grown-up Frank and kids Athena and Casey come together in a “surprisingly complicated plot for a Disney movie” to save Tomorrowland and our own world from obligatory villain Nix (the incomparable Hugh Laurie.)
To get into the how and why is to reveal too much info to the point that you probably wouldn’t bother seeing it if I did.
However, there are some great quotes along the way. Two that come to mind:
1) It’s hard to come up with an idea and easy to give up.
2) Casey tells a story about two wolves, one led by hope, the other despair. Who wins? “The one you feed.”
Honestly, my memory isn’t fresh and I might have mangled both of those quotes, but you get the gist.
This is a film made by dreamers for dreamers, discussing all the ups and downs of life as a person who thinks big.
It’s for older people like Frank, who once believed they could make a difference only to regret reaching for the proverbial stars in the first place.
It’s also for younger people, like Casey, who see nothing but opportunity on the horizon.
It’s for the young who are lucky enough to dream of a bold new world and for the old who tried to do their part to bring about that world only to experience one of those soul crushing setbacks that all too often force adults to give up on their dreams and settle for whatever means of providing a living they can find.
It tells the youngsters to keep dreaming and the old timers to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and get back in the game.
Is this movie one great big giant advertisement designed to lure kids into nagging their parents for a trip to Disney World, where they can visit Tomorrowland (a part of the Magic Kingdom)?
Of course.
But it’s also Disney’s attempt to convince dreamers of all ages to take big ideas and use them for good and not evil, to use inventions in ways that will cure the world’s problems, not cause more.
A grim apocalyptic future is coming our way if we don’t stop our petty squabbles and learn how to work together. That’s about as deep and meaningful a message as can be provided in a film produced by a company operated by a cartoon mouse.
From a movie buff’s perspective, it’s fun to watch two girls hold their own in scenes with Hollywood legend Clooney. (Between you and me, they even upstage him at times, but don’t tell George.)
Laurie delivers a fabulous performance as Nix and while I won’t give it away, feel free to generally post in the comments below if you think Nix’s viewpoint was wrong or right.
Are you a dreamer? Are you a nerd who dreams of a day when nerds will be allowed to work without seeing the fruits of their labor used for evil purposes?
If you’re a fan of this blog, then you probably are.
So all 3.5 of you should check this movie out.
STATUS: Shelf-worthy.
As a lover of action movies who will be there opening night for Fast 7, this was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time:
“Wham…bam…Bambi!”
“I’m always thumpin…”
“Yeah, it’s always somethin'”
Bookshelf Battle 