Hello 3.5 Readers,
I got tired of that picture of me on top of the world so Blandie is going to be greeting you for awhile. If that’s not a face that makes you feel welcome I don’t know what is.
– BQB
Bookshelf Battle
The only site where new bestsellers are forced to do battle for space on a nerd's bookshelf.
Daily Archives: May 25, 2015
Do Drones Really Work?
A few years ago I visited a toy store.
It wasn’t just any toy store. It was a really huge awesome one.
There was a guy doing demonstrations of this awesome $30 mini quadcopter. It appeared to be totally stable, had the ability to perform tricks and the man controlling it did so with ease.
He convinced me. I bought one.
I put in the battery, turned it on, achieved lift off and WAM – right into the ceiling.
I kept trying it. It went everywhere but where I wanted it to go. I don’t know if it was because I damaged it out of the gate or if for thirty bucks, that’s all the stability you get.
While I can survive losing three ten-spots, my eye has been wondering lately to some of the cool drones on the market. Some of the better ones range in price from $500 to over $1,000.
I can’t really afford that either but once in a blue moon, we all need to indulge ourselves with a little splurge, something completely frivolous and impractical, just to bring a smile to our face. We spend so much time on the business of life that we often forget what we’re living for.
Needless to say, I can’t drop $500 on something that’s going to crash (or I guess, more accurately, something I’m going to crash) right out of the box.
Video games have spoiled us. I want a drone that’s going to go exactly where I tell it to go.
Unfortunately, it’s a bit more complicated. While I’m not an aviation scientist and therefore don’t know all the correct terms, the basic issue is that you’re dealing with a) keeping the craft stable on a horizontal access b) keeping it from turning to the left or right until you want it to and c) keeping it level without letting it fly straight up into the sky or come crashing into the ground.
It’s amazing these are on the market though it may be one of those things that we need to wait and allow the bugs to be worked out of.
Or maybe I just bought a cheap piece of crap and I’ll be instantly wowed if I were to invest in a more expensive product.
In looking at various online reviews, I get the impression that the “Phantom” series of drones are a) expensive but b) great. Maybe you get what you pay for.
If (and it’s a big “if”) I ever convince myself to splurge on such an extravagance, probably the best I can do is a Parrot Bebob drone for $500.
Here’s a YouTube Review of the Parrot Drone by MW Technology. It seemed pretty honest and thorough:
The point? I’m wondering if there’s anyone out there who’s already taken the plunge, bought one and can either say a) these things are so fun and worth every penny! or b) what a pile of crap, it crashed five minutes after getting out of the box!
Or you might have an experience in between.
Have a drone story? Share it in the comments and educate BQB.
True Nerd Heroes
Bookshelf Q. Battler, World Renowned Poindexter and Uber Nerd
Nerds.
They’re those people who look, act, and think a bit differently than everyone else.
More often than not they try their best to choke down their nerdy tendencies, doing what they can to fit in with the status quo but never truly finding the level of happiness that comes from following their true nerdy potential.
Meanwhile, others let their nerdy freak flag fly. In the face of naysayers surrounding them on all sides, they shout “I’m here! I’m a Poindexter! Deal with it!”
And when those nerds steep up to the geek plate and hit a dorky home run, society benefits in all sorts of ways, from science, medicine, and inventions to TV, movies publishing and the arts.
These people aren’t just nerds.
They’re true nerd heroes.
A new feature on the Bookshelf Battle Blog – Bookshelf Q. Battler, one of those geeks who lets his nerd flag fly, is seeking out nerds, geeks, dweebs, dorks, spazoids and various and sundry poindexters who’ve defied the odds, vaulted over the hurdles, pulled an Ace out of the deck stacked against them and in the end, achieved true nerd greatness.
True Nerd Heroes. Nerds who have earned their place in the Nerd Hall of Fame. Nerds who, when their time comes, will have the doors to Nerd Valhalla swing open to them.
Do you know a True Nerd Hero? Nominate an awe inspiring nerd in the comments or on twitter #truenerdheroes.
Movie Review – Poltergeist (2015)
It’s ba-ack!
But hopefully not to return for awhile.
Angry ghosts terrorize a family and I haven’t missed a little person actor this much since the last lull I had to go through between Game of Thrones seasons four and five.
Bookshelf Q. Battler here with a review of Poltergeist.
SPOOKY SPOILERS AHEAD
Let me lay it out for you, 3.5 readers.
Hollywood suits are, first and foremost, businessmen. They put big bucks into the films that entertain us and they want a surefire return on their investment. Therefore, remakes, reboots, and sequels of films that already hit it big are here to stay.
That’s not always a bad thing but let’s be honest with this one.
Zelda Rubinstein, the diminutive actress who played Tangina the Clairvoyant in the original Poltergeist in 1982, is what made this franchise. Who can forget her creepy pleas of “Carol Ann, come into the light?”
Well, the millennials can or never knew about her in the first place, so alas, this film is their introduction to a series that got its start through the legendary Steven Spielberg.
Maybe it’s because too much time has passed. Maybe because in 1982 people knew less about technology and getting sucked into your TV seemed more like something to be worried about back then.
Or maybe it’s just that movies like Saw upped the game. Maybe there are too many real world terrors to get spooked by a goofy movie.
Despite all these maybes, a sequel to a classic has the mission of living up to the original and this one didn’t.
Let me admit I’m biased. I’m not a huge fan of the horror genre in the first place. All of those movies are, more or less, the same thing. Something goes bump in the night. Everyone thinks the person who heard the bump first is crazy. The naughty ghosts finally make their presence clear. Usually, someone who’s been acting like a jerk buys the farm in an ironic manner to the audience’s delight (although that trope isn’t present in this film).
Zelda’s little feet left some big shoes to fill and although Jared Harris of Mad Men fame delivers a solid attempt as TV ghost investigator personality Carrigan Burke, older viewers are just left wishing our favorite clairvoyant was around to give us one last turn.
The setup? It’s been so long that it feels like a remake but it’s actually a sequel. Sam Rockwell leads the cast as father of the Bowen clan. The family moves to the neighborhood where the Freelings were attacked by a poltergeist in the early 1980’s.
NOTE: Before making a move, do some research to find out if your new neighborhood has a history of poltergeist activity.
A gaggle of fiendish ghosts trapped Freeling daughter Carol Ann in the TV in the original film and not to be outdone, they trap Madison, the baby of the Bowen family, in a flat screen this time around.
Oh those poltergeists. What a bunch of one trick ponies.
(This is the part where some nerd will explain to me that the kids weren’t really trapped in the TVs, so much as they were pulled into an alternate dimension and the TV signal carries their voice to our dimension. That’s true, Madison actually gets taken through a portal in the closet. Thank you for clarifying, nerds.)
My favorite part of the flick? Son Griffin’s drone toy is piloted into the great beyond.
I want a drone. I really do.
STATUS: It’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but the time I wasted in the theater watching it will be the last time I see it. The people behind the film did their best and it’s not like they could have just hired another little person because Zelda’s performance can’t be recreated with any degree of success. It’s worth a rental but don’t rush out anytime soon.
Not shelf-worthy.
Game of Thrones Wrap-Up – Season 5, Episode 7 – “The Gift”
Finally! The Khaleesi and the Imp have met!
SPOILERS
The main point of contention of this episode comes at the end. The High Sparrow may have bitten off more than he can chew. Cersei has been his only royal benefactor so with her in the slammer there won’t be anyone to stop Tommen from sending in the army.
This is a show where no character is safe and I have to admit, I hope they don’t intend to kill Cersei off. (Don’t tell me if you know one way or the other).
She’s too important to the show. You love to hate her. She’s the last evil Lannister standing. (Jamie and Tyrion being good Lannisters.)
It’s funny, Cersei’s schemes always backfire but as she walked away from Margery’s cell with a smirk, even I thought “Finally! A Cersei scheme pans out for Cersei!”
I spoke too fast. It didn’t.
Come on, GOT peeps. Save Cersei.
Q and A with Legendary Fantasy Author Joel LL Torrow
What an amazing exclusive, 3.5 readers!
Joel LL Torrow, Author of the Dirge of Murder and Betrayal Series
Legendary fantasy author, the great Joel LL Torrow, after reading my tribute to him in Part 8 of Bookshelf Q. Battler and the Meaning of Life, was so moved that he contacted me to arrange for an interview, the transcript of which is below:
Q=Bookshelf Q. Battler
A=Joel LL Torrow
Q: Joel, thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. For anyone out there who might be living under a rock, I have to mention that you are the author of the spectacularly popular fantasy book series, A Dirge of Murder and Betrayal. Briefly stated, the story follows an epic struggle for power and control over the Kingdom of Wentzlendale.
You’re known as the author who isn’t afraid to kill off beloved characters so let me start by asking, who did you put on ice this morning?
A: Ha! That’s the first question everyone asks me. Let’s see, this morning I woke up, brushed my teeth and then while polishing off my usual breakfast of oatmeal and half a grapefruit, I had Sir Gremly, Vendo the Magnificent, and Hugh the Stable Keeper burned at the stake.
Q: Not Hugh!!!! He just returned from the Palisade Incursion and finally worked up the nerve to propose to Lady Farsquar!
A: That’s life. The best way to make the Holy Keepers of Wentzlendale laugh is to tell them your plans.
Q: Why not give the fans what they want though? Everyone was rooting for Hugh.
A: Life only goes according to plan for a small percentage of people. The rest struggle to cobble together some semblance of a life based on what fate allows them to have. Sure, there are many fans who don’t want Hugh to be burned at the stake. They’d rather see Hugh marry Lady Farsquar and live happily ever after. Then again, there are fans who totally relate. They have their own stories. “I was just about to propose to my love but then I lost my job, was stricken with a terrible illness, caught her cheating with my best friend and so on.
Q: Almost makes you wonder if Hugh got off easy by getting burned at the stake when you put it that way.
A: A tremendous amount of pain and then it’s all over vs. a life time of inner turmoil and regret over something that didn’t go your way. You be the judge.
Q. Who’s buying the farm in your next book?
A: I don’t want to give away any spoilers but things aren’t looking good for the Duke of Shabadoo.
Q. Finally! I hate that guy! But oddly enough, sometimes I like him too.
A: That’s another aspect of life. Things aren’t always black and white. Sometimes people do horrible things and yet you grow to understand why they did them when you realize who they are and where they came from. That doesn’t excuse it, of course, but things don’t happen in a vacuum. Better understanding of why people do what they do can help society find ways to stop bad behaviors in the first place.
Q. Do you take great pleasure in hoodwinking us? It never ceases to amaze me that even after we’ve come to realize that anything can happen to our favorite characters at anytime, you keep figuring out new ways to pull the rug out from under us.
A: Which time are you referring to? There have been so many.
Q. Take the Tournament of the Star Quarter, for instance. Burt Frederickson pummels Agitator Stabsmore within an inch of his life. Our hero is about to deliver the final blow when the Duchess of Shabadoo breaks wind, thus distracting Burt and giving Agitator the upper hand he needs to grind Burt’s face into a fine paste. I did not see that one coming.
A: Once again, that’s life. “I did not see that one coming” has been the famous last words for many people for many a moon.
Q: By the way, one thing I’ve noticed: some of your characters have interesting names like “Agitator Stabsmore” and “Anara Mistwake” but then once in awhile you’ll throw in someone with a name like “Burt Fredrickson.” Some say that’s another element of realism, that not everyone has a magnificent name in the real world. Between you, me and my 3.5 readers, are you just getting worn out coming up with new names and just grabbing some at random?
A: Guilty. I just use the names of people in my life when I can’t think of a good fantasy name. Burt Frederickson is my podiatrist. Good fellow. Has a clinic in a strip mall next door to a Ruby Tuesday’s.
Q. I recently predicted that the series will end when fan favorite Anara “Annie” Mistwake destroys all her enemies and is then named Supreme Super Queen of Wentzlendale only to unexpectedly die an agonizing, totally out of left field death when she stubs her toe and develops a nasty, fast moving staff infection.
A: I was actually going to go with food poisoning from expired cottage cheese but it’s like you’re reading my mind. I repeat, “that’s life.” Sometimes you get what you want and enjoy it. More often than not, you lose it to something you never could have predicted in a million years.
Q: I apologize if this is a rude question, but why do you always wear that hat and vest?
A: Not rude at all. You see, I’m not the best looking fellow and sadly, society puts a lot of stock in what people look like. For some reason, they think “well, that ugly person can’t be a good writer because if he had any brains he’d just use his mind to change his face” even though that’s scientifically impossible. So, I improvise. I just dress up like a quasi-fantasy character so people will see me and think, “Hey! He kind of looks like a wizard or something so he must be a good fantasy writer!”
Q. Kind of sucks being a writer sometimes, doesn’t it?
A: It does. Then again…fat stacks of cheese, bitches!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
You heard it here, 3.5 readers. Annie Mistwake’s going to croak from spoiled cottage cheese and Joel dresses like a quasi-fantasy character so people will accept him. Who knows? Next some random guy might pretend to own a magic bookshelf or something just because he fears readers won’t find him personally appealing.
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