By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire
Hug a vampire.
Bleh!
“Kill ’em with kindness” goes the old saying and it is applicable to vampires.
Seriously. Humans see us and they’re all like, “Eek! A vampire!”
Its ridiculous because we don’t always want to eat you. Sometimes we’re full and we don’t want to eat you at all.
Sometimes we just want to hang out with you and shoot the breeze and talk about cars and movies and make paper airplanes and trade taco salad recipes.
Ever think of that?
No. Its always “Waah but I don’t want to be permanently damned.” You people are so needy.
Next time you want to confuse a vampire, give him a hug. He’ll be so surprised he’ll just walk away.
Or he may very well bite you.
You know what, now that I think of it, there’s like a 90 percent chance he’ll bite you and a ten percent he’ll just be confused and walk away so I get it. You probably don’t want to take those odds.
Have you hugged a vampire and lived to tell the tale?
Discuss in the comments.
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