Daily Archives: October 27, 2016

Movie Review – The Accountant (2016)

Guns! Thrills! Chills!

Math?!

1+1=2 and 2×2=stick around for this review, 3.5 readers.

(FYI 1.75 X 2=3.5)

BQB here with a review of The Accountant.

You know 3.5, ever since you all came into my life, I spend most of my time watching movies thinking about how I’m going to explain what I’m seeing on the screen to all 3.5 of you.

This movie was so complicated that it took some serious thinking on my part, but here goes:

Ben Affleck stars as Christian Wolff, a highly functioning autistic man who, by day, appears to be a mild mannered, run of the mill accountant.

However, he’s much more than that.  Although socially awkward, obsessive compulsive, and unable to connect with people, he utilizes his Rainman-esque ability with numbers to perform forensic accounting for all manner of international criminals, gangsters, what have you.

Because this profession is dangerous, he is often called upon to use his genius mind to kill all sorts of enemies.

Ironically, when he’s hired for a legit gig to help a robotics company locate some missing money, things get very dangerous as he ends up having to save junior accountant trainee/discrepancy in the books finder Dana Cummings (the ever adorable Anna Kendrick) from a dastardly hitman played by Jon Bernthal (formerly Shane of The Walking Dead.)

Meanwhile, treasury agent Ray King (J.K. Simmons) has been tracking “the Accountant” for years.  With an impending retirement looming over his head, he recruits treasury analyst Marybeth Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) to figure out who this vile bookkeeper is.

The plot is very complex with many moving parts.  Many, many threads are exposed and you spend most of the film waiting for them to pay off and fear not, for eventually they do.  Whoever wrote this must have had a giant flowchart to keep track of it all.

This was a different kind of role for the Benster.  Though he has played dark and brooding before (The Town) this character is altogether different.  At times we get to see glimpses of goodness in this murderous bean counter, mostly brought out through his interactions with Anna.

STATUS: Shelf-worthy, but bring a pencil, a notebook, and a slide rule to keep track of everything.  I’m still not sure myself.

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#31ZombieAuthors Rewind – Day 27 – Jake Bible

With Your Host: Schecky Blargfeld, Zombie Comedian

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Hey there, 3.5 readers.

I hope you’re ready for a little music because I’m about to put my zombie pipes with a little birthday ditty.

“Happy Birthday to you! Whoa, uh oh, Happy Birthday, to you! Happy Birthday, Dear Jake Bible, Esteemed Inventor of the Drabble Novel! Whoa, uh oh, Happy Birthday, to yah-uh-uh-ooo!”

Yep, that’s right, 3.5. Last year BQB’s buddy Alien Jones reached out to Jake to wish him a Happy Birthday (and if you’re following the logic, it’s Jake’s Birthday again!)

AJ and JB also talked zombies and other assorted monsters.

Check out that interview here.

And don’t forget to check out Jake’s Amazon author page.

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#31WaysToDefeatAVampire – Way #27 -Mirrors

By: Count Krakovich, Asshat Vampire

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Bleh!

It’s true, 3.5 readers.

Vampires do not cast a reflection.

Put a vampire in front of a mirror and he/she will not appear in said mirror.

Ergo, if you go look at your mirror and you do not see a vampire then look out!  That means there’s a damn vampire behind you!

Or is there?

Yes, you laugh but now you’ll always wonder if you’re not seeing someone in the mirror because there is no one there or because there’s a vampire behind you.

Muah ha ha! Muah ha ha! MUAH HA HA! I’ve ruined your mind!

Wait. What? You’d still be able to turn around in order to see if a vampire is in the room with you?

Bah. You figured it out. I’m such a douche-pire.

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