Top Ten Disney Characters that are Worse than you think

#10 – Belle

Ughh. Goes on and on about how she loves the Beast for his heart on the inside but doesn’t put out until he’s transformed into a stud muffin with mad cash.

#9 – Olaf

Adorable? No. Incompetent snowman with a death wish.

#8 – Ariel

Refuses to carry on with the family business of ruling the world under the sea. Breaks her father’s heart by throwing it all away on some dude she just met. Very rude to her Jamaican crab friend/music instructor.

#7 – Goofy and Pluto

Goofy is a dog yet is considered a man. 

Pluto is a dog yet is considered Mickey’s property/pet.

Clearly there’s disparate treatment amongst the different Disney canine classes.

#6 – Pinnochio

Pathological liar. Failed to realize his full potential by declining to run for Congress.

#5 – The Rescuers vs Mickey

More disparate treatment, this time amongst the mouse classes.

Mickey is a mouse who walks and talks and acts like a man. The Rescuers are mice but talk like humans. WTF?

#4 – Princesses vs Princes

Everyone complains that Disney princesses teach little girls to be helpless and wait for a rich handsome prince to solve all their problems.

Valid point but what do little boys learn from all this?

Better be rich and handsome and have enough money for a woman to use you as an ATM machine and have the ability to solve all her problems or else no woman for you.

Sigh. Maybe Walt was just trying to warn boys what they’re in for when they grow up. Art imitates life.

#3 – Chip and Dale

Cute?

No. Filthy, disease ridden criminals who have engaged in rampant duck abuse for years.

#2 – Snow White

Bimbo who lived with seven tiny perverts.

Full disclosure – I have no reason to assume the dwarves were perverts.

Come to think of it, they were complete gentlemen at all times.

#1 – Elsa

Could use her ice powers to rule with any icy fist. Refuses. Epic fail.

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